Pokemon - Solo's Strange Journey

Swole-POV:

"Good morning everybody!" 

It's the next morning. Just a moment ago, the bell rang and started the next class.

An energetic woman entered the auditorium through the speaker's entrance. Our next professor, I assume?

If so, then I like her already! Maybe we will stay awake in this class!

"My name is professor Hedera. My research specializes on the wilderness and the behavior of pokemon in the wilderness. And for the next three weeks, I will be your teacher for all things related to pokemon and survival among the pokemon."

She is wearing an open lab coat over a military style coverall in woodland camouflage. 

I'm not sure whether it's an effect of the camouflage or not, but she appears to be flat. 

An A cup at best.

Still, she has a very pretty face with emerald green eyes, a light tan and brown hair. Every breast size can be beautiful with the right face and body, I believe.

"Speaking of survival among pokemon, this will be our first class together. Survival! Wuhu! First up, let me hand you all a book, written by no one else, but me!"

She picks out 12 books from her handbag - humanity would be lost without expanded space containers - and runs along the rows of the auditorium to hand them out to the 12 students. 

She even moves all the way to the last row where the asshole sits alone.

... Actually, I might as well just call him Asshole from now on. Everyone will know who I mean.

She did that whole thing with a fairly impressive speed too. Even after rushing up and down the stairs, her breathing remains even. 

She must be very fit... It is fitting for a survival teacher... Heh. Fit, fitting.

"The book gives a detailed overview on everything you need to know, to survive in the wilderness of the Sinnoh region." She continues after leaning against the podium again.

The book is called 'EXTREME WILDERNESS SURVIVAL Essential Knowledge To Survive Any Outdoor Situation Short-Term or Long-Term, With Or Without Gear And Alone Or With Others' - By Professor Sylvana Hedera.

... She needs to work on her book titles.

"In it are methods to make a fire without a lighter: The hardest solution is 2 wooden sticks and the easiest solution is a fire pokemon! Haha... The methods you have to make drinkable water: Again, the easiest method is a water pokemon in your team, but it also explains how to filter water using charcoal or how to boil water to get rid of bacteria." 

I know of only one way to make fire but it's slow and requires metal and a flint. 

Speaking of fire, I should put lighters on my shopping list.

"It also contains a comprehensive list of edible nuts, berries, fruits, roots, vegetables and mushrooms that you can find in the Sinnoh region. As well as a list of things that are poisonous. Oh, and a guide on places you need to avoid. Some wild pokemon like to base their territories around Berry trees or caves with abundant minerals."

I still have the taste of beef jerky and stale bread in my mouth. 

Man that book would have been useful a month ago. 

"Now, in theory, you could drive these pokemon out with your own pokemon. But more often than not, they will seriously outnumber you. A tree full of Weedle can take out a Charizard, if they get the first strike."

Seriously? 

Huh. 

Well, now that I think about it, it makes sense.

They can all attack with a poison attack and then the fire type advantage won't be of any help.

"I expect you all to have read through the book by the end of the week. But for now, let's go over some survival and first aid practices together."

... Maybe the guys and I can split the work and summarize the parts to each other?

"Let's imagine for a moment that you suddenly find yourself in the wilderness." Oddly relatable. "I know, it seems impossible to happen, but just imagine it. What do you need to do first?" Professor Hedera asks into the auditorium.

Only Akari and I raise our hands to answer. "Mr Solo, what would you do first?" She points me out. 

"I would go into hiding first and then find water." 

I did it the other way around but that was because I was ignorant of the dangers in the wilderness.

"Almost correct. You are right that the very first thing anyone should do, is to hide yourself. Wild pokemon don't necessarily like eating humans, but they will eat you." 

Buneary nods along. Did she eat humans or would she eat them? Either way, now I'm really glad my sales pitch worked against her.

"The second thing you need to do, is to inspect yourself and your pokemon for injuries. After all, you don't just randomly end up in the wilderness, unless there is a head injury, or something else is wrong with you, haha!"

... I chose not to take that insult personally.

"Then the third is to check your equipment. In a best case scenario, you don't even need to go find water because you still have some. Then you can go straight to, focusing on getting out of the wilderness. Otherwise, finding a stream, river or creek is priority number four. They are generally dangerous places, but also the only way to travel without risking dehydration. And when following them downstream, you are likely to find your way to either a settlement or to the coast. The coast is generally safe. Only a few wilderness zones expand into the coastline."

"Now that you have a decent hiding spot, you notice a large cut on your arm; A pokemon has ambushed you. What do you do next?" Professor Hedera asks into the auditorium again.

And again Akari and I are the only ones with an answer.

I used Oran Berries for exactly that situation. But I should have used a Sitrus Berry or a potion. Now I'm stuck with a scar.

"Miss Platinum, what is your response?" She asks Akari, causing a few murmurs to fill the room at the mention of her family name. 

I'm still not convinced that she isn't at least related to the royal family.

"First, I hold my wound closed to reduce the bleeding. Then I examine the berries available. A Sitrus Berry solves the issue entirely. Otherwise an Oran Berry revitalizes me after the ordeal that I must have been through, and a Chesto Berry will keep me awake in case of blood loss. If I did not manage to heal the wound, I would use clean water or better yet alcohol to clean out the wound. And then finally, I use whatever I have to close the wound tightly. Preferably gauze or cloth but in a worst case scenario, a large disinfected leaf, held tightly with ropes is enough. Or the fresh inside of tree bark. That is also sterile enough to be used without having to disinfect it first."

Wow. Damn. 

She knows what she's talking about. 

Holy shit, if I have to be stuck in the wilderness, I'd hope she's there with me.

"A perfect answer!" Says professor Hedera. "I have nothing to add to it. Except that you can substitute Sitrus Berries with potions. But if you have neither then your knowledge on first aid could save your or your pokemon's life one day."

The class continues for a while like that. 

Akari provided most of the answers and me some more. 

The rest of the class seems to have little to no prior knowledge about survival. They will really need to read through the book thoroughly.

Afterwards, we switch over into practical lessons. 

The professor has some sticky plasters that look like wounds and some vials of theater blood. 

We need to use gauze and stripes of cloth to handle the fake injuries.

Akari is amazing at that too. As if she has already done that for years.

In comparison to her, my work looks more like 'baby's first wound dressing'.

After the bell ends the first class of the day, the professor gives one final statement. 

"Next week we are all going into the nearby forest in the south of Jubilife City. I expect you to have read through my book by that time and I expect you to do your own research on the Bewilder Forest. We will stay around the edge of that wilderness zone, but I want you to still be prepared for a worst case scenario."

Seriously? The already short time at school, will be reduced even further by spending a whole week in a forest?

The professor continues. "You will be tasked to survive for a week, and you will be under observation to evaluate your performance. If your survival skills are unsatisfactory, you must participate in a 4th week of trainer school that focuses on keeping you alive out there. I urge you to take this seriously. You only have one life. Don't squander it by going out of civilization unprepared."

I wholeheartedly agree. 

And it won't be so bad, if the professor takes care of us in a real worst case scenario.

With nothing else coming from the professor, the gang and I start packing up our things and start talking.

"How did you know so much about survival? You were amazing, Akari." Dawn praises Akari's performance in class. 

Akari deserves all the praise. 

She knew the answer to like 90% of all questions. And she has been pretty confident in all of her answers too.

"Oh... um, you know... Ahem, they taught us. In school. In Celestic Town, where I am from. Everyone there knows what I know." She explains modestly.

"Really, it is not that impressive. Let us just forget about it. In fact, why do you three know so much less about survival than Swole? I believe you are all from the same town, correct?" 

She's deflecting and pushing the attention on us instead. She's so modest.

"It's because I'm a nerd." I say as I throw Lucas a glare. "And I also happen to have some practical experience, from when my dad kicked me out into the wilderness with the task to come back with a pokemon."

"Oh? You did that too? It is how I got my Cyndaquil!" - "Cynda!" Akari and Cyndaquil say with pride in their voices.

I think she likes talking about Cyndaquil, like I like talking about Buneary.

"What?!" Shouts Barry, he disturbs the few remaining people in the echoing auditorium. "Ahem... I mean, what? You were forced to go into the wilderness? Does one of your parents not like you?"

I won't take it as an insult because it's true, but damn.

"What? No." Responds Akari. "My parents loved me and I did that on my own. My parents did not want me to have anything to do with pokemon, but that is because they did not want anything bad to happen to me. I went into the wilderness despite their wishes, and I got my partner Cyndaquil there."

She displays a lot of pride over her accomplishment. And you know what? Good for her. 

I should really be a little more proud of my accomplishment too. 

After all, I did manage to do something that is too difficult for most people to even consider.

Yea. I AM proud of that! Suck a dick, Lucas.

---

After the Survival lessons ended, the gang and I went and ate lunch together. 

Today it was minced beef steak, mashed potatoes and gravy and a green asparagus salad. 

Buneary had her first training session with cutlery and failed miserably. 

But with my constant encouragement and help, the ever persistent bunny persevered and finished her meal in an almost decent manner. 

The meat juices still ended up in her face, painting her in the image of a blood thirty savage.

Now, my group of friends and I arrive back at the auditorium to see professor Hedera at the podium again.

"Welcome back, everyone." She greets the returning students while we are settling in. 

"I hope you had a filling lunch because for the next four hours, we will talk about pokemon and their needs and wants. If you want to become a pokemon breeder in the future, this class will be the most important to you, if not, then it will still be very important. Because if you don't care for your pokemon properly, then your pokemon will not perform for you properly."

Makes sense. 

A happy pokemon is a strong pokemon. I wouldn't be performing very well if I was unhappy either.

"Being a trainer is a team effort. The pokemon fight to keep you alive and the trainer needs to handle everything else, to keep yourself and your pokemon healthy and happy. As for keeping them healthy, that will be the topic of tomorrow's classes in Biology and Nutrition. This class is about keeping your pokemon happy." 

So, a 'how to pamper your pokemon'? Haha.

For the next four hours she discusses the methods to take care of different types of pokemon. 

As for pokemon like Buneary: Furred pokemon need regular brushing, which is something I made sure Buneary listens to too. 

As well as treating their fur with small amounts of oil occasionally.

And baths with soap should actually be a rare occurrence. Furry pokemon need the natural oils in their fur to keep themselves protected from bacteria, parasites and hair-tangles. 

If a bath needs to happen, then the cosmetic products should be rated to be for pokemon use. 

She gave Arezu Anthe as an example provider, because they have a line of cosmetics, specifically for pokemon and their trainers.

Professor Hedera also explained that scaly pokemon need regular brushing with soft to hard bristles, to remove debris and bacteria buildup as well as oil treatments. 

The bristle hardness depends on the hardness of the scales.

Then she went over some more specific types of pokemon, like ghost pokemon and rock and steel pokemon. 

Their treatments are inherently different from anything else. 

Rock and steel pokemon need regular abrasive treatments and then polishing. 

Meanwhile ghost pokemon don't need anything. 

I mean, some ghost pokemon have physical bodies that can use treatment, but Ghastly for example, just doesn't need anything.

They don't even NEED food. They work better on food but they can survive without.

Near the end of the class she gives us book recommendations. 

"I personally encourage you all to get books written or published by professor Elm from the Johto region. He specializes in pokemon breeding and has built the most comprehensive collection of detailed pokemon information in the world. Everything you can't find in your pokedex, you will find in one of his books."

"And if your pokemon does not yet have its own book, then you can substitute the pokemon by its features. For example: Charmander, Magmar, Torkoal, Fuecoco and Turtonator can all be treated almost interchangeably as fire type, lizard-like pokemon. You just need to scale up or down the values by weight or surface area. Never use height to scale units."

So, Buneary could probably be treated the same way as a Rattata or Bidoof? 

I should probably not mention that thought around her. 

It just sounds insulting.

"Research your pokemon. Otherwise you are just bumbling around as a trainer." With that she claps once, probably to wake up any sleeping students, together with Buneary and Piplup who have fallen asleep at some point.

"Tomorrow at pokemon Biology we will go further into determining your pokemon's health, as well as how to classify what is normal and abnormal for a healthy pokemon. And then in pokemon Nutrition class we will build a few diet plans together for your pokemon. Now! Have a nice evening, and don't forget to read my survival book until Monday!"

With perfect timing, the bell rings to end classes for today.

---

"Huh. This was a lot better than yesterday." I say to a round of agreements.

"Does anyone even remember what the classes were about yesterday?" Asks Barry. "I mean, the schedule said Gym-Challenge and Contests. But I can't seem to remember anything at all about the classes." 

... Because you fell asleep in 10 minutes.

"Let's just hope we never see that professor again. I much prefer the new one. She was much better at lecturing. Barely anyone fell asleep for over 8 hours." Says Lucas to another round of agreements.

"And she's hot too." Zoey starts yet another round of agreements. 

Wait, Zoey? I turn to look at her with a double take. The others follow suit.

"What? It's true! She's toned, tanned and is smart. That's hot. I'd want to have a piece of that."

I mean, yea, the professor is hot, of course. But, "That's just not something we expected from you. So, you're into girls?"

"Pfft. No? I can appreciate women... Let's just get into the city already." Zoey tries to change the subject. 

Well, looks like we have found the topic that we can tease her about, forever. 

Lucas, Barry and I share a knowing look.

Yep, this is going to be brought up again.

Dawn looks to be very excited to go into the city. "Yea, let's go! There are so many sights I want to see now, before we leave. Yesterday was so amazing!"

"We should really go to the library today." I argue against her. "The professor recommended us books and I want to make sure I know everything I can about Buneary." 

They don't look very convinced... 

"I don't want to be a sub-average trainer."

That did it!

...

...

...

My grumbling friends and I end up in the library. 

There we download and print out the books we need. 

I managed to find one specifically for the Buneary species and the Lopunny evolution. 

Only Zoey had trouble finding a book in the digital archives for her starter pokemon, Misdreavus. 

In the end she substituted it with books on Gastly, Duskull and Yamask, as well as some books on Misdreavus by some no-name authors.

Akari also ended up with a few more books on ghost and fire type pokemon in addition to her Cyndaquil book. 

Maybe they are onto something? 

So I ended up downloading books on Machop, Jigglypuff and Ralts too. 

To help me with her fairy and fighting type training.

Buneary also has access to the psychic type with Agility, Rest and some other psychic moves. That influenced my decision to add a book on Ralts.

Besides specialized books for pokemon, we also all get copies of generic books for all element types. 

I've read most of them from my dad's library, but just in case I need them, I got my own copies too. 

Besides, the books are free!

Eventually, when we went to head out, the guys and I saw something out of the corners of our eyes. 

Something very special. 

The modern library offers scientific books directly from the printer, but magazines and similar books that live and die through advertisement are still laid out in physical copies in the store.

"Barry, Lucas, you're seeing it too, right?" I ask them. 

They know not to turn their heads but they nod anyway. "One of us buys it, one must distract the girls. And it must be three copies. Maybe 4 if we want to give one to Zoey for a joke." 

More nods.

The others prepare their fists. We settle it the usual way. Buneary is confused.

The first loser buys it, the second needs to distract the girls. 

I prepare my fist. Lucas and I know how to win this round. Barry is just too predictable.

"Rock, Paper, Scizor!" We whisper-shout and Lucas and I pull out Paper, while Barry predictably uses Rock. 

Easy win. 

Barry is hanging his head and pulls out his wallet.

But now comes the hard part. 

Lucas and I eye each other. If he panics, he always falls back to using Scizor. 

But his eyes are laser-focused. He knows what is at stake. 

He won't pick Scizor today.

And he is way too proud to win with Rock. He would never do that. 

He will pick Paper. 

I must pick Scizor.

"Rock." We say together and slam our fist into our open palm. 

His eyes remain focused. 

I will stay with Scizor.

"Paper." Another slam into our palms. 

He grins. He's sure of his victory. 

All the color drains from the world and only black and white remains. Time seems to slow down.

How?

Could it be?

Could he use Rock?

No, he must be playing mind games. 

He wants me to panic. 

He wants me to switch at the last second. 

But what does he want me to choose?

"Scizor!" My hand moves down towards my palm. 

I have no more time to think it over, I must choose now! 

And I chose... 

Scizor! I will remain adamant in the face of panic!

My hands slam together, the open palm below and a fist with two fingers sticking out above. 

My two hands meet and a shockwave forms between Lucas and I, which tosses over the bookshelves all around us.

Past the smoke, I look up at Lucas' choice. 

Rock. 

No! "How?" I lost.

"I realized something." Lucas explains. 

I drop to my knees. The failure. It is pushing me down too hard to remain standing. 

"I can't continue being the same person I always was. I won't achieve my dreams like that." 

"What?"

I stand back up. Our surroundings have returned to normal somehow.

"You are better than me, Swole. You know more about pokemon. Your Buneary is already an amazing partner. But here I am... Losing to random assholes in the park. I need to change. And I can't put my pride before my life anymore. And I won't call you a nerd again. You were right all along."

Lucas' explanation hits me. 

He wants to improve. This has nothing to do with Rock-Paper-Scizor. 

Is Barry thinking the same? 

I worked my ass off to get where I am, but I have done nothing but relax and write notes the past few days.

At this rate, they are going to catch up and then surpass me. 

I need to take this seriously again. 

I share a look with Buneary. She manages to pick up my determination and nods in confidence. 

She is ready for training. She wants it. And she trusts me to be her trainer. 

I can't let her down.

I won't let her down!

But first, I will need to pay for my loss.

"Hey Dawn, I need your help."

"Huh? What do you need?" I have interrupted the girls in the middle of some girl talk, I guess. 

Probably about some random cute stuff. "Do you know any magazines I could use as reference for men's fashion? I want to look amazing for my gym battles."

This did the trick. Not only Dawn but also Akari and Zoey immediately pull me into their group and start handing me one magazine after another. 

They go by in a blur, none really sticking out. Except for the front design on one magazine they showed me, and they ordered me to buy it.

That one showed a three piece suit without the jacket but with a slim neck tie and a waistcoat. 

The dress shirt arms are pulled up a little. 

I could make the tie match Buneary's colors. 

It has a nice professional tone to it that contrasts well with my natural hair style. 

At the same time, it would be casual enough to not clash with it completely.

The guys must have finished their purchase already, so I just add the magazine to my pile of books and go to the register with the girls.

The girls pay for a bunch of designer magazines and I pay for the men's magazine.

The guys were waiting outside the store, the goods already packed away and out of sight. 

Good.

The professor also recommended brushes and pruning equipment for our pokemon and we all agreed on getting that next.

Sadly, it was already getting dark, so we couldn't go all the way to Floaro Street anymore to buy the premium cosmetics.

But the girls and I still went to a discounter store on our way back to the dormitory. There, we get some cheap brushes that we can just toss away, if they turn out to be too bad.

We end up splitting up into our own rooms, when we reach them and then the door closes.

All eyes go to Barry. "Did you get them?" I ask and Barry pulls them out of his messenger bag.

4 issues of Pokemon Pals end up on Barry's bed. 

Spread out evenly. Swimsuit edition. 

And they somehow got Cynthia herself to model for the cover page.

"Nice."

Cynthia is wearing a black and white 2-piece bikini. Her blonde hair is styled in light wavy curls and she wears her iconic hair ornaments.

She is standing in a somewhat seductive pose that shows off one side of her body, and it also shows off her toned stomach.

"Very nice."

It's nothing overtly sexual but damn, Cynthia is hot!

Buneary looks at the magazines too, but doesn't get what's so good about them.

There is apparently also an article by Professor Oak in it, about why trainers tend to focus on just four moves per pokemon.

Well, no matter what's inside, I won't be reading it in the same room with the guys. 

So I stash my copy of the magazine and pull out my book on Buneary instead. I can read the magazine some day on my travels, when I'm alone for a bit.

"Hey, who is going to give Zoey her copy?" Lucas asks and my gaze returns to the remaining copy on the bed... 

And then his resolve to better himself comes back to my mind.

I know I'm not a natural risk taker.

But without taking the risk of going into the wilderness, I wouldn't have met Buneary. 

I need to take a few risks to become successful. That much is clear.

And what better way to take risks, than to do it safely? "I will do it." 

I will regret this, won't I?

---

With all the important stuff out of the way, I sit back down on the bed with Buneary sitting nearby and I start reading the book about her.

...

"Hey, Buneary... The book says I need to brush and pet you more often. Oh, and to give you massages."

She looks at me, not believing a word. "Here, see for yourself." 

I show her the page I'm currently reading. No pictures of course. And she can't read it.

She remains unconvinced. "The professor today in class also said I have to do it to you." 

But she was asleep for that...

... "Let's just try it out, alright? We can still stop it if you don't like it?" She's starting to look resigned to her fate.

My last hope, "Don't tell me... you are afraid of a little bit of brushing?" 

And finally she lets out what can only be a heavy sigh before she hops up and sits back down in front of me. 

With her back turned to me, just like that time when I had scrubbed the soap into her.

And just like then, I start with her head, by brushing between her slightly tense ears. 

They aren't fully pulled in and ready to fight, but they aren't standing up fully in an excited expression or hanging back relaxedly either. 

They are somewhere in between those 3 states.

The cheap brush I got today has some plastic pins stuck in a cushioned pad. The tips of the pins are rounded off and the handle is also out of plastic. 

It's cheap and I want to get better quality for Buneary some other day, but this has to be sufficient for now.

As I brush between her ears, a shiver runs over her body. 

But her ears are relaxing a little more so it must have been a pleasant shiver. 

I brush over the same spot a few more times. Her ears, relaxing a little more with each stroke.

When the shivers subside, I start brushing further down. From the head, over the neck to the beginning of the fluffier fur on her lower torso.

There are a bunch of knots in her fur that I have to work through and she winces each time I pass them. But after they are handled, she starts enjoying the session again.

Eventually, she lies down on her stomach so I have better access to her back and I struggle with the knots in the fluffy parts of her fur. 

It's an absolute mess. 

We got rid of the debris, dirt and blood with the showers, but the fur tangles are just on another level.

With every stroke of the brush, it ends up getting stuck. 

... I skip her fluffy fur until I can get cosmetic oil and a better brush set for her.

I go over her back a few more times again and then over the arms. That's when I notice actual purring. 

I stop and look around. 

The other guys are in conversations with their own pokemon and don't notice us. 

I doubt Buneary would want anyone else to hear her purring, and with her privacy ensured, I continue the brushing until there is not a single knot left in.

But now that her backside is finished, I turn her around to reach Buneary's stomach instead. 

Our eyes meet for just a moment after which she pointedly looks away. 

Cute.

I repeat the same procedure with her stomach and her sides, and her face visibly contorts as she suppresses her purrs.

Too cute. 

It just makes me want to brush her harder. 

So I do. I brush her harder and in turn she squeals out a cute voice and starts squirming. 

Until I stop for a second to give her a moment to recover. She instantly turns around to her stomach and hides her face in the blanket.

Her ears are definitely relaxed now. 

And definitely defenseless too.

At last. 

I carefully brush over the back of her ears. I don't want to damage them, even though pokemon are probably far too durable for that to ever hurt her.

And from her reactions, she isn't hurting at all either. 

She is shivering and purring into the bed. Keeping her noise low and the other roommates unaware.

"Do you want more brushing in the future?" 

She nods with her face still stuck in the blanket.

Eventually, the fun ends and the guys turn off the lights for today.

I lay down in the bed and Buneary snuggles into her spot on my chest. 

She seems a million times more relaxed now. 

"Good night." I whisper to her.

---

"... And this is how eggs are made. Anyone got any questions?" 

This is how professor Hedera ends her lecture on pokemon biology, as part of the Biology class.

Today's class started innocuously. 

Going over what deviations from the norm are normal and what are abnormal, for pokemon of all sorts of types.

Like diseases and stuff.

But then she started discussing what normal pokemon of the same egg group, and of opposite genders might end up doing on our travels.

And it all makes sense, but I just never really thought about it at all.

Buneary has been hiding her head behind her ears for a while now. I wonder if she ever thought about that stuff before.

Some guy in the front row holds up his arm to ask a question. "What egg group are humans in?" Pfft-- Haha! 

And the auditorium erupts in juvenile laughter.

He actually asked that!

"I am not going to reward that with an answer." Says professor Hedera. 

Nooo! You can't do that! Now I'm curious. 

We would be in the Human-Like group, right? Like Gardevoir and ... Lopunny.

My gaze moves down to Buneary and our eyes meet. She immediately hides her face again and I look back to the podium. 

Let's just forget this ever happened.

"Anyway, the most important part to take away from today's class is going to be: Generally, pokemon are sturdy creatures. If something happens to them that would hurt a human, then they are most likely fine. But that means that any and all visible injuries are very serious and must be treated." Professor Hedera explains.

But... That happened to Buneary multiple times. The Starly and Ariados both left serious injuries.

Is she just too angry to pass out?

"As a trainer, you must always carry potions or berries on you. If a pokemon center is nearby, then they will heal your pokemon for free instead. But you should always be prepared for a worst case situation."

Good thing, I bought potions 2 days ago.

"Now, for the practical part of the lesson, you will make a general health examination on your pokemon, and write a report on your pokemon's current health condition. I will try to verify the correctness of all your reports. So view it as a sort of test."

The others start releasing their pokemon from the pokeballs and I stare down at Buneary.

This is going to be so awkward now.

...

For the next half hour I poke, prod and measure everything about Buneary.

And as it turns out, Buneary is massive compared to others of her species. 

With 50cm height, she is about 20% taller and weighs 70% more than the usual Buneary. Almost 10kg instead of the average 5.5kg.

With the height to weight ratio of humanoid shapes, a 20% height increase usually comes with a 60% weight increase, so I feared that Buneary was actually fat.

I had to feel her stomach up for fat, just to be sure, but it turns out that she is actually too thin. 

There is no fat at all. Just muscles.

In summary, she is taller and has a lot more muscles. Her bone-density is likely higher than normal too. 

That's awesome!

And this might also explain her heart rate. 

When measured, it was far too high too.

Perhaps a larger body requires more blood flow?

Her ears are also very muscular and her lifting power, with every limb, easily beats the average Buneary.

Compared to the average according to professor Elm's book.

Her values are so far off from the average, that I started to doubt my examination.

But before the professor had the time to look over Buneary's results, the bell rings and we leave for lunch.

As we head to the cafeteria, "My parents told me nobody knows where pokemon eggs come from." Barry tells us.

Hey, that's right. Mine said so too! What's that all about?

"Excuse me?" Asks Akari. 

She looks at Barry as if he is dumb and seems to hope that she heard it wrong.

But Lucas defends Barry. "My parents told me the same thing." 

And I follow with, "When I asked, my mom said that nobody has ever seen a pokemon lay eggs before. And that people have no idea where they actually come from." 

Dawn and Zoey voice their own versions that are somewhat similar.

Now Akari looks at one of us after another. Each of us, receiving a look as if we are dumb.

"Are you all children? They were obviously lying to you. Pokemon... copulate and then lay eggs. Just like humans do... Well, we do not lay eggs, of course. But the 'making' part is the same for eggs and for babies."

Buneary starts hiding behind her ears in embarrassment again, as she rides on my shoulder. 

Cyndaquil seems to take the topic stoically and Piplup doesn't look like he's following the conversation.

"So," Starts Barry as we enter the cafeteria, "Do humans have an egg group or not?"

"I don't think we have an egg group. If humans and pokemon were..." Dawn stops and tries to find the right words. "You know... Compatible. You would see more humans and pokemon... You know... Doing the deed, right?"

"They used to." Responds Akari to a round of disbelieving stares.

"What's doing the deed?" Asks Barry and Zoey starts whispering something in his ear that manages to turn Barry's face red like a Tamato Berry.

Lucas responds to Akari. "You're telling us, that humans used to... you know... fuck pokemon?"

The cook behind the food buffet is looking at us weirdly now... 

I already picked out steak with steamed vegetables and spaghetti carbonara for Buneary and I. 

Now I regret waiting for the others to get their food.

Please don't give us that judgemental look! That's a scientific question! I swear!

"Well... I am uncertain about doing the deed... But they used to marry each other... I read it somewhere... in a book." Akari answers but Lucas doubts that.

"Where did you read that? And why would you even know that?"

Wait a second... humans marrying pokemon... 

"Guys," I start as we sit down on our table and I pull out a book from my backpack.

'Ancient Sinnoh History' 

I put it on the table for everyone to see and open the index. 

"Pokemon marriage - page 279" I read out for everyone and open the correct chapter.

---

Pokemon Marriage

An uncomfortable topic for many but an unavoidable topic, when discussing the ancient practices of the Sinnoh region and the wider world: Is the marriage of humans to pokemon. 

There is an overwhelming amount of evidence that shows that pokemon and humans used to marry each other (see attachments#138 to #186).

Evidently, entire human sub cultures have exclusively partnered themselves with their pokemon. Namely, the Aura Guardians of Sinnoh and the high nobility of ancient Kalos have supposedly never had human partners in their life.

This, in combination with more recent anecdotes from the Kanto-Johto war, suggests that pokemon and humans, somehow have the ability to breed together.

Today, this is an extremely frowned upon topic and for at least 200 years, there has not been any credible research in that direction that was publicized. 

And the evidence from before that time, could hardly be called evidence as it was mostly pornographic in nature. To my knowledge, there has never been any serious research on the topic of human and pokemon interbreeding.

However, during our travels, my esteemed colleagues professor Samuel Oak and professor Cedric Juniper have joked about the topic with their research assistants; Mr. Utsugi Elm and Ms. Aurea Juniper. 

As part of their joking, they have raised three theories. By technicality, as of the release date of this book, these are the only credible theories raised on this topic by the scientific community.

Professor Oak and Mr. Elm stated the theory that humans would need to have more than the usual one or two egg groups. Human-Like, Field, Dragon and Grass at least. 

However, this theory quickly ran into issues as we found more and more different types of pokemon that were partners in these ancient families. This theory could still be true if humans are part of almost every egg group.

For the second hypothesis; At the time of our expedition, Kanto was running a secret experiment that Professor Giovanni and Professor Oak were part of. They have not given any specific information about the experiment, so their intermediate findings can only be viewed as the personal statements of two esteemed colleagues.

They have claimed that another egg group exists. Members of that egg group are compatible with every other pokemon. And if such an egg group exists, then possibly, humans are part of that egg group as well.

Lastly, Professor Juniper and Ms. Aurea Juniper, who have been primarily researching the origin of pokemon, were of the opinion that humans are entirely separate from pokemon in terms of egg groups. 

Their theory stated that there must be a different condition that must be met in order for pokemon and humans to breed.

This special condition would have nothing to do with egg groups and humans do not have an egg group.

At the time of the expedition, this was not yet known, but by the time I had started writing this book, a doctorate from the Kalos region by Dr. Augustine Sycamore was publicized (see reference book "Mega Evolution - Pokemon's True Potential").

It suggests, in my opinion, that professor Juniper's informal theorem might very well be correct.

The doctorate detailed a new method of evolving some pokemon, where a so-called 'key stone' is used to power a temporary evolution. 

This method only works between trainers and pokemon that share an extraordinary personal bond.

It is my personal belief that if a special bond between pokemon and trainers can cause the pokemon to take on a new form, then it would certainly be possible that a special bond can also allow for interbreeding.

---

The chapter goes on for longer but my voice is starting to die, and I'm starting to notice classmates, who are eying our table weirdly.

"So..." Lucas starts to comment. 

Huh!? The others have already finished eating while I read this thing for everyone?

"The soldiers during the war... huh."

"Yea... Let's just pretend we never read that, okay?" I answer and start digging into my food as fast as I can. 

Manners be damned, but I'm not going into the Nutrition class, of all classes, hungry.

The others voice their agreement, except for Barry, "I don't get it. What did the soldiers do?" 

He asks and Zoey whispers the answer into his ears, causing Barry to turn as red as an Octillery.

---

The bell rang and I doubled my eating speed to the visible disgust of my friends.

But eventually, we make it to the class, as the last students to return. 

As soon as we sit down, professor Hedera begins her next class with us.

"Hello again, let's get right into it! Nutrition! Let's start with the basics." She begins her lecture. 

"As most of you should already know, all pokemon are omnivorous. There are no herbivorous pokemon. If a pokemon does not get animal protein, sooner or later its health will deteriorate and eventually they will die. Just like humans will."

"The exception being ghost pokemon. They cannot starve to death. The only known way for ghost pokemon to die is to be defeated in battle and then further attacked by pokemon. Humans, besides the rare psychics, have no way to hurt ghost pokemon at all."

Like Sabrina from Kanto?

"But let me get back to nutrition. Generally speaking, all pokemon need the same nutrients. On the blackboard, I have already written down the general formula per kg of mass for a pokemon." 

Professor Hedera continues her lecture, as all the students hurry to write down what is written on the blackboard.

"This is actually already the correct formula, you should use for normal type pokemon with average physical performance. The other pokemon types all have their own additions and factors; For example, grass pokemon should eat less meat and far more plants. Rock and steel type pokemon should have dietary ores and rocks added to their food, and electric pokemon need far more salt than other types."

We are still writing down what she says, since this is some of the most important knowledge to keep a pokemon healthy and strong. 

"I have another book for you, this one containing the specialized formulas you should be using for your pokemon." 

The noise of my pen and many others dropping on tables as well as a few groans, resound through the auditorium.

She could have given us the book first...

"The book also contains the nutrient values of common food options and poke berries. Try to use berries sparingly or your pokemon will eat through your wallet. Haha."

While professor Hedera starts handing out the books, Buneary switches from sitting on my shoulder to curling up to sleep on my lap. 

My ever reliable pokemon, leaving me to survive the far too long class on my own. 

Whose brilliant idea was it, to condense trainer school down to 2 weeks of education?

"As a trainer, you should regularly check the weight of your pokemon and adjust accordingly. If you notice your pokemon takes on too much fat, then you should always reduce the carbohydrates first. To increase an underweight pokemon's fat store, increase it. But in the end, always listen to your pokemon's instincts. Unlike humans, their cravings are more often than not based on their needs, instead of their wants."

She pauses for a moment before amending, "Except if you have a Snorlax. They will eat anything and will always ask for more. Satiating them is impossible."

So a pokemon that asks for ice cream, needs more carbohydrates and fat in their food plan?

"As for where to get the food, if you are a sub-average trainer, or own a pet rather than a partner, then you can buy the food pellets from regular stores. They are good enough for that role. But I personally expect you all to make your own food for your pokemon. Diet is extremely important for a pokemon's performance."

The lecture goes on for an hour or two more where the professor tells us all sorts of facts on macro nutrients. 

What the body needs them for and how to detect deficiencies, if your pokemon does not tell you on its own.

After the lecture comes the practical part.

This time we need to create a diet plan for our pokemon. And according to the formula, my 9.35kg Buneary needs 879 calories. 30% of that from protein, 30% from fat, 20% from vegetables and 20% from carbohydrates.

That's 200g of chicken or 180g of beef or pork. A whopping 400g of random low calorie veggies and 100g of flour. Or a small serving of noodles or potatoes. 

But Buneary does not have enough fat on her body. She needs an extra 50g of flour. 

Which I can substitute with a quarter of an Oran Berry for the effect and half a Tamato Berry for flavor.

With the Oran Berry, her performance and endurance should be amazing and the Tamato Berry is luckily not too expensive. Just 15₽ per berry, I think.

I wake up Buneary to ask her what she thinks of the diet plan. She grumbles awake and while I explain to her the numbers and the plan, she starts zoning out.

... I guess I will find out when I actually cook for her... 

Wait a second, didn't I overfeed her with beef jerky on our journey from Lake Verity? I gave her the same portions I had. 

Why are you still underfed?

I can see the professor is on the prowl for the next student to look over his or her work, so I raise my hand to get her attention.

Professor Hedera checks over my work next and after a short while, "I can't imagine a Buneary would ever need so many calories. Can you tell me how you got to that number?"

"Buneary is taller and much heavier than average, but she is just skin, bones and muscles. From the chart I would need 879 calories but I think she has an unhealthily low amount of fat so I'm starting the diet with 1000 calories and adjust later."

The professor does not simply accept my answer and moves her hand over Buneary's stomach to check for herself, and then she ignores Buneary growling in response. 

"You are right. There is very little fat."

But her face becomes angered for some reason. 

"How long did you have her? And who was her previous owner? Not professor Rowan, I believe. Your Buneary has clearly been abused in the past. The scars and her aggressive behavior speak for themselves. She is behaving more like a pokemon from the wilderness than a starter pokemon."

Professor Hedera asks as she continues to look for more scars behind Buneary's fur.

"I caught her around 3 weeks ago in the wilderness. She had no previous owner."

Her prodding stops instantly and she takes two steps back. "Wilderness? ... Make sure that she behaves herself. The trainer is responsible for their pokemon's actions." 

I nod and Buneary finally stops her growling and retreats closer to me. 

"With her increased weight, the diet plan looks pretty good. But can you explain why you added the berries? They will cost you around 500₽ per month."

What?! 500₽ per month? Oran Berries are 25₽ and Tamato Berries are 15₽, I think... so... damn! Per month 412.5₽!

I only get 3000₽ per month as a wage. 

The other food and my own food will cost me 500₽ and I need to always be stocked up with potions and eventually other training equipment too!

... How many pokedollar did we eat through, on our way through the wilderness? Together we went through like a 100₽ worth of berries every single day.

Being a pokemon trainer is expensive.

How could I possibly finance a whole team like this?

Professor Hedera seems to realize what my sudden silence means. "You know, when you win gym matches or pokemon contests, you get prize money from the league. And usually the professors pay you more if you show greater promise as a trainer. But that is on an individual basis."

"Oh. Thank you. That is good to know. In that case I will stay with the berries. The Oran Berries to keep Buneary's endurance up and the Tamato Berries are for the taste. She loves them."

Professor Hedera gives her approval for the reasoning and turns, to start heading to the next student. 

But before she even makes two steps away she turns back around, her gaze fixed on her own hand. "3 weeks ago, you said?"

I nod.

"Good job making her this civilized. I am surprised that I still have my hand. Haha." She gives me a smile and turns back around again.