PokéLove

“Yo! Alex, Hazel, I’m going to go jump in a hole. Do you want to join?” The two pokémon in question begrudgingly look up at me with expressions that say, ‘Do we have to?’

 

“Come on! We skipped a cave on our way into the city. It might be an opportunity to find rare gems, minerals, or even pokémon!” Though, I can’t really afford it unless it’s a pokémon that can photosynthesize…or one’s that don’t need to eat.

 

Hazel shoots a look towards the still-unnamed Taillow. “Yes, yes, I’m still working on it. But come on! Don’t tell me you aren’t interested in going into a cave.” Hazel stares at me, unblinking, for a good six seconds, then begins rolling towards me.

 

“I knew you would understand. Now, Alex—” I pause, as, after looking to where Alex was, she had disappeared. Hearing faint flapping behind me, I find the Noibat in question hovering near the door. “I guess that works out.”

 

———————————————————————————————————————

 

For all intents and purposes, I’m cheating.

 

Using a lightbulb and some polished sheet metal, I fashioned a spotlight out of one of my arms. I don’t really have to worry about power draw because…it’s a lightbulb. They aren’t that energy intensive.

 

Second that with Alex using echolocation, and I would say I’m pretty good. A good 80% chance of safety.

 

“Woo!” Scratch that. I’ve got a Woobat incoming. Time for something I’ve been working on with Hazel.

 

“Hazel, focus all your Pin Missiles under you at a…30-degree angle.” You see, there’s this neat little equation in physics. F = ma. The force of an action is equal to the mass of the object times the acceleration, or sudden change in velocity. Now, technically, this function can be rewritten several ways since acceleration is the derivative of velocity, and thus the equation can include a change in mass as according to the product rule, but that’s beside the point.

 

Hazel weighs about 19 kgs, or 41 lbs. The explosion produced by her attack launches her at about 12-15 m/s². That means that the Woobat, standing at about a third of a meter, or a foot, and weighing about a tenth of the metal spiked ball launching toward it, does quite a bit of damage.

 

Oh, and since Woobat is capable of flight, that implies that any bones it possesses are most likely to be hollow.

 

The…attack, to be named, does not simply hit the pokémon and knock it out. No, it…eviscerates the bat. One of my arms reflexively extends to shield me from some of the blood.

 

I pause to look at the remains of my assailant. “Let’s…move on. Before something else is attracted by the scent.” Hazel rolls onward, but Alex looks…conflicted.

 

I motion to her. “Perch and talk with me.” She does so while keeping a vigilant eye on our surroundings. “What do you think pokémon are, Alex?”

 

She tilts her head. “Yeah, I’m not expecting an answer to that. Frankly, even our best scientists are stumped by that question. However, we do know a few things. One, you guys are extremely energy-based and efficient. You have creatures that can fire off lightning at will at least twenty times before exhaustion. You can be broken down easily and stored in computers. It’s…an enigma of nature. Second, you each have a set of moves in your genetics that you can learn either by growing, from your parents, or from a machine. These moves are specifically geared toward using that energy efficiently.”

 

I pause as I almost skid on a rock. Looks like talc.

 

“However, as shown with Ditto, the moves that are ordained by your genetics can easily be absorbed by others, even if it’s not possible to learn it. Most of the time, this translates into bruising and mental exhaustion until you pass out, though there are cases of death. Even pokémon like Wobbuffet, which we might want because they’re Psychic and we could use one, can reflect those attacks.”

 

There’s also Mr. Mime, Solosis, Chingling, and, of course, Woobat.

 

“However, there are cases where pokémon have certain features, or use moves in certain ways which are not built into your genetics. Froakie has Frubbles which can stop pokémon, or simply Hazel using Pin Missile to cannonball herself at a target. Which…is a great name. Hazel! We’re calling that move Cannonball!”

 

She continues rolling onward, not even acknowledging me. I’m sure she heard me.

 

“Those moves are much more detrimental as pokémon, albeit tougher than the average person, have no evolved resistance to such attacks. It was a misjudgment on my behalf as I forgot to account for the hollow bone structure of the Woobat. Its death will not be forgotten, but we have to learn from our mistakes. I made a mistake, and I’ll try to take responsibility for it. Okay?”

 

She’s remained pensive throughout my monologuing, but she nods and flies upwards. Hoo boy. I’m not really emotionally inclined, am I? Great at inventing, but suck at social interactions.

 

Eventually, we make our way to our destination, the Mirrors of Reflection Cave. The website said that these are quartz panels with aluminum and silver deposits behind them. Personally, I don’t believe that as neither of those occur this pure in nature, nor does quartz look this blue.

 

As such, I’m going to take a souvenir for testing.

 

I find a small chunk on the ground, and with my trusty screwdriver, break off a piece of it. It looks…mostly pure. I’m sure that I can get Hazel to grow more, and eventually find a method to purify it.

 

Standing back up, I’m slightly disoriented as I’m met face to face with my reflections. Going onto infinity, perhaps? Only illuminated by their own gentle glow (again, not quartz), and my own lightbulb.

 

Alex is, uh, slacking off on her protection duties as she finds the mirror maze we’re in quite fascinating. Err, speaking of, which way was the entrance? I’m sure it was behind me, but…it’s just another mirror.

 

Hazel is staring at a red, tasty, iron stalagmite. I can see it in her eyes, contemplating Pin Missiling off a chunk for a snack.

 

“Guys. Where’s the exit?” The two stop their fun as they look around. Alex emits a faint squeak and flies off to the left. I pick up Hazel with an arm, breaking off the stalagmite for her, then run after the runaway bat.

 

It’s disorienting. Left, right, left, left, right. Following the flying bat and ignoring the infinite copies. It’s lucky that we haven’t run into any more pokémon; however, with Alex’s squeaking, we’re sure to attract more Woobat.

 

Then she stops. Right in front of one mirror, staring at her reflection. This mirror is…slightly different from the others. It emits no glow and is of a better-quality reflection than any other. Hazel, too, stares at her reflection in the mirror.

 

Or…actually. They’re not staring at their reflection. They’re staring at my reflection, or rather, my lack thereof.

 

Alex and Hazel both have reflections in this mirror so different from the others. Yet, I don’t. I remain absent from the picture.

 

Wiggling my lightbulb around, I find that the mirror doesn’t even reflect my lightbulb. Almost like it’s not a mirror…

 

“This thing is dangerous,” I mutter. However, against all better judgment and built-in preservation instincts of my ancestry, I find myself compelled to…touch it. Touch it and find out why this mirror doesn’t reflect me.

 

I step closer. My eyes are transfixed on the glass-like mineral.

 

Another step. I think I accidentally dropped Hazel. That shouldn’t be possible unless I explicitly gave the command. Am I psychically compromised again?

 

The final step. I’m so close I could touch it. In fact, my hand is almost there.

 

An inch. My index finger is so close.

 

A centimeter. Even my breath doesn’t fog it up.

 

A millimeter. Hazel and Alex look different too. Mirror Hazel looks more expressive than normal, and Mirror Alex less.

 

“Arghh! What the fuck!” My arm jolts and recoils as I’m assaulted with a vicious headache.

 

I clench at my head to no avail, feeling my body become unnaturally warm as though I’m running a fever.

 

“Ffffffuuuu… Hazel, I’m being mentally assaulted. Pin Missile in every direction. Alex, Screech and Supersonic! Find something!”

 

I stagger back, tripping on a lone rock, and fall back. It’s that blasted talc again!

 

After assaulting my ears and peppering me with missiles, the culprit of my psychic attack is revealed.

 

“Ergh?! That’s…Misdreavus? It’s a Ghost type…but it learns Psywave from birth! Hazel, Gyro Ball!”

 

Hazel barrels into the ghost and promptly knocked it out.

 

I slowly approach the prone form of Misdreavus. A Ghost-type with Psychic-type moves… Yes, this’ll work. Most Ghost-type pokémon don’t require food as they can be incorporeal.

 

“You’re coming with me.” I say to nobody in particular as I press the slightly illegal pokéball onto it.

 

It’s only a few shakes to confirm that catch.

 

Releasing a pent-up sigh I didn’t realize I was holding in, I waved to the other pokémon. Come on, let’s get out of here. We’ve got training and tests to do.

 

Still wonder what that mirror was about.