PokéLove

After a quick night in two separate beds in a shared room at the Pokémon Center, we hastily made out way to Santalune City. The whole town, or rather, most of the town is paved with quadrilateral rocks, making the entire public area anti-OCD. The town is divided into various sections since whoever planned it decided not to flatten out the hillside.

 

What it means is that I must ignore the bouncing bosom of my compatriot as we go up and down many staircases. Honestly, this girl isn’t that situationally aware, what with her happy-go-lucky humming as she practically jumps up and down.

 

Whichever Legendary Pokémon is listening right now, give me strength.

 

Following the map on my phone, which is another point for the phone in phone vs. ‘dex, we make our way to the Pokémon Gym. We’re greeted with a surprisingly empty hall with honestly beautiful works of art.

 

Makes you wonder how long Viola spent laying in the grass, patiently, waiting for the perfect shot.

 

I might have some patience, but not that much.

 

We find an attendant towards the back, who looks up as we approach her. “Hello. Are you both challenging the gym, today?”

 

I raise my hand. “I am, not sure about her.” Serena, turned around by my sudden subject change onto her, stutters a little.

 

“I-I’m just here to spectate.”

 

Nameless Attendant turns back to me. “Very well. There’s a challenge in progress right now. Would you like to schedule or wait until the challenger is done?”

 

“I’ll wait.” I hand over my pokédex, begrudgingly giving a point to it. After I register, I notice the expectant look Serena has on the field behind the frosted glass doors. “Is it okay if we spectate the current battle?”

 

We receive a confirming nod, much to Serena’s elation, and her action causes something in my chest to feel tight. Something…envious. Or maybe I’m having a heart attack? I’ll run a self-diagnostic in the meantime.

 

We step inside to find the field covered in a thin sheet of ice, thin ridges where the instantaneous change in temperature was not accepted well by the ground.

 

Giving me another heart palpitation, I’m forced to direct Serena away from charging at Ash, and instead, towards the trio, plus Helioptile, waiting on the side.

 

“Oh, hello there!” Alexa, Viola’s sister, greets us. “Can we help you?”

 

“I-We were wondering if we could watch the battle?” I stand there stoically, repressing any emotions my heart is attempting to produce right now. It’s not love I’m feeling. It’s lust. Just lust. Not…love…

 

Hrng…Why make humans such fickle creatures when it comes to the matters of the heart?

 

“Of course, that would be just fine,” Alexa responds, breaking me from my thoughts. Before anyone else can get a word in, I shuffle over towards them, shrinking the total gap between us.

 

“Hello, Clemont,” I say, forcing myself not to drawl his name. I lean on the railing, a single hand propping up my head as I stare at him. “How have you been?”

 

He stiffens up, staring right at the field, avoiding my gaze. “Just-Just fine.”

 

“Mmhmm.” It’s something of an open secret within Lumiose City, that Clemont is the Gym Leader for Prism Tower, and yet, there’s a voice within the tower that rejects all challengers. Most of those with a Frost Cavern-room temperature IQ will think that that obviously non-human voice is Clemon, and he has received many a complaint.

 

Of course, I’ve already broken in there. That robot of his has a shockingly good picture-to-string parser. However, if I just write some code on a blank sheet of paper and hold it up to a camera, well… Let’s just say Clemont forgot to put some protections on his variables.

 

Once I had the robot spitting out every command and line of dialogue it knew, it only took a screwdriver kit, a wire hanger, and a 9V battery to bypass the electronic lock once the AI wasn’t monitoring it.

 

That whole debacle was just to prove I can, though. I wasn’t going to fix Clemont’s problems for him. He’s a grown-ass man. He can do it himself…if he ever grows a spine.

 

Turning my attention to the battle, I find Ash confident. That fills me with the confidence that he’s about to get his ass handed to him. Oh, wait. Surskit’s out already?

 

Damn. How long was I in thought about how trash Clemont is?

Viola sends out Vivillon. “Vivillon, use Psychic!” I hear her call out, and I unintentionally smirk. I missed the ice portion, but I think I’m going to enjoy this next bit.

 

“Fletchling!” Ash yells towards the aforementioned, soon-to-be flame bird.

 

“Since I made an ice battlefield, I want you to learn what it’s all about!” In response to her words, Fletchling is tossed around like a ragdoll before being shoved into the ice.

 

Recovering nicely, Fletchling takes to the sky once again, but while it’s still slightly out of it, Viola shouts, “Vivillon, use Gust!”

 

And…Fletchling’s out. Pushed into the Sticky Web that Surskit had made prior. With that the battle is all-but decided. A single Solar Beam is used next to knock Fletchling out, and it’s declared unable to battle.

 

What I expected from a person who shoots for the sky without doing the extensive prerequisite math. He wouldn’t even land among the stars, no. He would be more likely to burn in the atmosphere or collapse on the launch platform in a fireball of regret and taxpayer dollars.

 

As Viola is declared the winner, the previous Attendant runs up to her and whispers something in her ear. Viola looks over at me. “How about we have our battle after lunch? The field should be reset by then.” I don’t say a word, just giving a thumbs up.

 

———————————————————————————————————————

 

The five of us sit in the Pokémon Center’s cafeteria. Ash had almost forgotten his bag in his rush out, but I had picked it up as Serena and I ran out.

 

Ash stares blankly off into space, only going through the motions to eat the spaghetti we had to order for him. Clemont’s little sister, Bonnie, feeds a little Dedenne its chow, one nibble at a time.

 

I think I can sum up the mood as…well, dour? Serena is hopelessly fawning over a person I’m unsure of even having the capacity for romantic love, causing me more pain. Bonnie is…distracted. Clemont is stuck in the middle of all this.

 

Me? I’m eating a pretty damn good brisket sandwich. I wonder where they ordered the meat from. I might need to get mine from there, too.

 

I swallow, because manners. “Ash, if it’ll help, you can watch my battle with Viola. You might get an idea. Or maybe you just need training. Actually, disregard what I’m saying. If my plan actually works, then Viola will likely have to permanently change her modus operandi for trainers.”

 

Ash just stares, not responding.

 

At that moment, Alexa walks in, sees the despondent Ash, and sighs. “Come on, Ash. It isn’t the end of the world. How about a battle?” He looks up and nods.

 

The pair go off back towards the main lobby to retrieve Ash’s pokémon. Bonnie and Clemont get up to go towards the porch area to spectate. Serena, however, looks conflicted between me, who is eating her lunch, and Ash, who appears to be her childhood crush.

 

...

 

Eating alone is fine, too…I guess…

 

This brisket doesn’t taste that good anymore.

 

———————————————————————————————————————

 

“The Gym Battle between Nicole the Challenger and Viola the Santalune Gym Leader will now begin!” I barely parse the referee’s words as I tap my fingers on a pokéball. This…will probably look idiotic. However, while I’m pretty good at taking care of pokémon, Viola’s pretty good at fighting with ‘em.

 

So, I’ll have to use my expertise in other areas to fight here.

 

“Each side will have the use of two pokémon and the battle will be over when either trainer’s pokémon will be unable to continue! Only the challenger may substitute pokémon.”

 

“Surskit, go!” Viola sends out her primary, as is customary for Gym Battles for Gym Leader to send out their pokémon first.

 

“Right. Hazel, you’re up.” I casually toss out my Ferroseed, ignoring the shocked gasps of the peanut gallery. I hear some remark about how Grass types are weak to Bug types.

 

“Well, I’m about to prove a certain typing weakness incorrect. And here’s my thesis!” I shout, much like those trainers on TV. However, unlike those trainers, I immediately break pose and shiver. That…hurt…on a metaphysical level.

 

“Now…battle begin!”

 

“Hazel. Harden.” Step one. Raise a Ferroseed’s already unreasonably high defense even higher. Hazel’s going to be feeling it this battle. Thankfully, albeit with many eyerolls as she misunderstood my thought process, she agreed to this plan.

 

“Letting us attack first, huh? Okay then, Surskit, use Ice Beam on the field!”

 

“Sur-skit!” The field freezes over, massive amounts of Joules being expended as the ambient water vapor is immediately turned into ice. The ice barely catches on Hazel’s outer layer; the salt I fed her lowering the freezing point of water further.

 

“Hazel, shake it off.” She wiggles, popping herself out of the ice level; her outer spikes allowing her to dig into the ice. “Alright, Hazel. I know you aren’t exactly built for speed, so just keep using Rollout to dodge.”

 

Viola narrows her eyes, trying to figure out my plan. I don’t think she’ll get it. Or at least, not in time.

 

“Surskit! Use Ice Beam again!”

 

“You know what to do.” Nonchalantly, I close the buttons on the trench coat and put my hands in my pockets. The thick leather encapsulating the heat perfectly. “Brr. Getting cold in here,” I comment. Viola doesn’t think much of it, but it’s a vital thing.

 

The ice around the field grows, climbing up the walls and onto the garden boxes. I have to step forward and use my Octillery arms to brace myself just to not slip on the ice.

 

Hazel, meanwhile, gets hit a few times by the errant or targeted Ice Beam, and the occasional Signal Beam. We planned for this. Well, we accounted for how much Hazel’s defenses can take before she calls it quits. Luckily, that number is pretty big, and Hazel is really good at not giving a shit.

 

However, as the beams fly, it’s getting marginally easier for Hazel—the Ferroseed with a speed stat of 23…whatever that means—to dodge a freaking Surskit’s attacks. “Hey, Viola!” I call out. “Looks like your Surskit’s getting tired!”

 

For the first time since the battle began, Viola frowns. “Surskit, use Sticky Web on the ceiling and the ground.” Surskit, being a magnitude faster than Hazel gets off the same move twice.

 

“Hazel, if you get caught, use Gyro Ball on the ground.” I rub my nose. Honestly, it’s getting pretty cold now. I think my nose is getting runny. It’s hard to tell; it’s numb.

 

Should be any moment…now!

 

Just as planned, Surskit collapses for seemingly no reason. “Surskit!” Viola yells, confusion evident in her voice.

 

“Heh. Heh. Hahahahaha!” Laughter breaks out in an eruption as the mad scientist within me finally makes herself known. “Ahh, alright. Viola. I’ll say it now. You’re kinda screwed.”

 

“What did you do?!” She yells, her cool demeanor nowhere to be found.

 

“Hey, hey, I’m not cheating if you’re accusing me of that.” I put my palms forward in a placating gesture. “It’s not my fault your pokémon’s biology works against your plan.”

 

“My pokémon’s…biology?”

 

“Yeah,” I sniff. Yeah, it’s running now. I wipe it with a spare tissue. “Bugs are something called poikilotherms. Otherwise known as cold blooded. They maintain their body temperature—thermoregulation—by exchanging temperature with the environment. Unfortunately, for you, Ice Beam is exceptional at making the battlefield cold fast.”

 

I blow my nose. Walk back towards the edge of the field and throw away the fully used tissue, then return to my post. “Anyway, poikilotherms, if the environment is too cold, go into hibernation to preserve energy—in a Bug types terms, it’s called diapause.”

 

“So, since you can’t switch out your partners. Your pokémon will remain asleep until they’re warmed up. So, either we wait several hours for this ice to melt, or you can forfeit Surskit this round and send in Vivillion, who, by the way, is also poikilothermic.”

 

I give her a wide smile that doesn’t reach my eyes. “So! What will it be?”

 

———————————————————————————————————————

 

The peanut gallery and the Gym Leader are both in silence at my resounding victory. Underhanded in forcing her to forfeit? Absolutely! However, I think this does highlight me as someone to be reckoned with within the Gym Leader circles.

 

So, win-win-lose with both wins being for me.

 

“Here you go, Nicole. Despite being a little unorthodox, you managed to beat me with my own tactics. I’ve been told by others that it’s always a good day when a Gym Leader has to learn new tricks. I guess it’s true now. So, with that said, I award you the Bug Badge!”

 

Hell yeah! Now we’re in business!