Pink Ranger Problems

It's always amazing watching Alison teach martial arts. Every student she has agrees on that. No matter the day she's had, the season or the bullshit from her family she is always full of energy and excited to teach. It's awe-inspiring.

Until you're her demonstration partner.

You see, my arms are toothpicks compared to hers. Despite the fact that I should have some manly advantage, I know she is stronger. I signed up for the class to try close the gap between us. To get more manly. To be stronger, better. Plus my best friend is teaching it! A girl who can snap me in half! What better excuse to learn some skills from a pro? Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to get why I’m here.

"Come on Ryan, I won't hurt ya," she says with her signature smile. A smile that’s reassuring, but makes my heart jump in fear. The last time I saw that smile, she started a fight that left my tormentors crying for their mummies. 

"I'm only an orange belt."

"You're tougher than you think. I'm just asking you to try a couple of punches and I'll try and dodge."

"Alison."

"You're my best student so come on. You can do it."

I've dealt with bullies (another reason I signed up for the class), but they were untrained and usually slower than I was. I could just run away. Alison is a martial arts teacher. She is the one that dealt with assholes when I couldn't just run, but now she is putting me on a stage.  She has control over her own strength, and she won't hurt me, but that doesn’t make the idea of fighting her less intimidating.

"Just don't counter or anything."

"I won't."

I assumed the stance she taught us when we began. Left foot in front of me, my leg bent, my right foot behind me, my leg straight. She’s drilled these stances into us from the beginning.

"Begin."

I start by punching with my left hand, which she easily moves out of the way of. I go back in with my right. Again she moves out of the way, shuffling her body in ways that I can't. I aim for her chest and she blocks with her right hand. 

"Stop. It's not hard to dodge and block if you pay attention to the movement of your opponents and keep your feet in position. Never let your opponent get you off balance…"

She isn’t breaking a sweat, and she isn’t fighting back, just like she promised. So why am I scared? Maybe it's that smile that’s throwing me off. That kind of thing always makes my heart beat a little bit faster. Anxiety is weird.

"Dismissed."

We bow to our instructor and leave the mats where we train. In a better world where I don’t have to deal with fatigue or the stench of my own body, I would stay and talk to everyone. This is not that world. If I want to be around people, that requires changing in the change room and I’m nowhere near comfortable around other guys for that. 

"Ryan, where are you going?" Alison calls from across the room. I'm almost at the door. She starts walking over, damn it.

"Uhh, home."

"Dude, why?" Even after teaching for an hour, she's somehow still raring to go. Her eyes gleam with energy and her cocky smile betrays nothing. It's almost hard to look at her. If she was a guy, she'd be a perfect one. A man amongst men that none of us mere mortals could hope to live up to.

"Because guys smell after working out, Alison. I can't just go and sit down with everyone like you can."

"What's the difference?"

"You're a girl. I smell worse than you." Her face crinkles up at that. I'm right, though. The stench of an unwashed man wafts off me, as if I’ve just bathed in sweat with a bunch of guys.

"I'm not a girl anymore, I can drive, and drink," she said.

"That’s not the point. I can smell myself, Alison. Man sweat isn’t easy to ignore." The gi I wear for training sticks to my skin, as beads of sweat trickle down my back. Can she just let me go? 

"Too bad, you are eating with us. My lessons aren’t enough to keep the youth centre open."

There is no point arguing with her. Not when she has wrapped her hand around my arm and is dragging me over to our table. There is no fighting her strength or will when she decides to do something. Trying to resist would be more embarrassing than being dragged anyway.

"Alison, we're over here," Leo calls. Were they watching the whole lesson or did they just get here? I try to focus during lessons instead of looking over to the snack bar. If Leo tries to distract me or something, I would trip over my own feet and he would never let me live it down.

"Nice job, Ryan. Your form was great!" Summer adds.

I take a seat next to Alison. Ziggy, Leo, and Summer don't need to know how badly I stink or how greasy I am. 

"I just threw some punches and practised?"

"Yeah, but that's good. Your basics are great. A good foundation makes everything else easier, bro," Leo explains. I wince at being called ‘bro’; yeah, we’re friends, but we aren’t that close. The only person allowed to call me that is Alison. Maybe? He gave me a solid pat on the back for good measure, knocking the wind out of me.  

"Maybe." My eyes droop as I try to listen to their praise. I wish she had let me leave.

"What were you guys doing?" Alison asks. 

“I was practising my gymnastics,” Leo started. “Ziggy was wat-- do y’all feel that?”

The chairs and tables are shaking. An earthquake? Stingray Cove isn’t on any fault lines. Creaks ring from the walls, and the industrial lights that light the youth centre swing from their chains.

“It’s an earthquake! Evacuate!” Ernie shouts from behind the bar.

Like a stampede, everyone bolts for the door. Is the ground shaking because of the people running?

A lull in the shaking. Now is the time to get up. We can get out if we get into the herd of people.

“Everyone’s going to the front doors, we can't get out that way!” Summer yells over the commotion.

“What are we meant to do?” My breathing speeds up. Why is this happening?

CRASH

Another tremor. A sheet of metal from the ceiling hits the ground behind us. If we don't get out soon, the building will come down on us. No amount of martial arts saves you from crumbling debris. Another huge shake hits. How am I meant to stand when the floor beneath me is shaking? 

“The quake has stopped, we need to get to the exit!” Leo shouted. 

Has it stopped? Everything still feels wobbly. Am I able to run like this? Leo and Ziggy are almost to the door; at least they'll be safe.

"Snap out of it, Ryan!" Alison shouts. She holds out her hand. I need to take it. She smiles as I reach towards her and my heart does that thing again. Why is it doing that? Why is my body not responding? "Let's go."

She runs and I stumble to my feet. We are almost at the door. The others are waiting for me. We are gonna get out! So why is there a sheet of metal heading for our whole group?

--------

The ground stops shaking as suddenly as it started. Was I just hallucinating or something? There was a flash of pink and then nothing. It's hard to see. Like the room around me doesn't exist. Was I crushed? Did that piece of metal kill me?

"Hello?" I probed. An airy voice escapes my throat. Its high pitch rings through the room. Is there a helium leak?

"Hi, do you know what's going on, miss?" That's Leo accounted for. Him being here makes the dead theory less likely. That's good news, but why doesn't he recognize my voice? His voice seems fine! My eyes dart around. I need to get my bearings.

"Leo, is that you?"

"Ziggy? Oh thank goodness, someone I know," Leo says. "Yeah, it's me."

"Ziggy, Leo, do you know where we are?" Summer asks. "Do either of you recognise the other girl's voice?" What's happening to my voice?

"Uh, guys?" a deeper voice asks. He sounds like he knows the others, but I can't place his voice; it’s rich and soothing. Is that weird to say about another guy's voice?

"Who are you?" Summer asks.

"It's me, Alison," the voice responds. Alison's voice changed as well?

Whirring and crackling echo through the room as what must be a generator boots up. Blinking buttons light up around us. The overhead lights flicker as they turn on, revealing what looks like a scifi command centre, complete with buttons, dials and screens on every surface. 

“Welcome to the command centre, Rangers," a voice from behind us booms. I must be in another dimension or something. There’s a hologram. A holographic man's head is suspended behind us. "You five have been chosen to become the new generation of heroes. I am Astrus."

Ziggy, Summer and Leo are here, suited up in yellow, black and blue respectively. That leaves me as the pink ranger, the same colour as the ranger that rescued me six years ago. The last person in the room is unfamiliar, the Red Ranger. He’s handsome. Almost to a ridiculous extent. He bears a resemblance to Alison. If it weren’t for the fact that Alison was a girl, it would make sense for her to be the Red Ranger. She's kind, leaderly, and a badass. She would make a great team leader. So where is she?

"Why is everyone looking at me instead of the floating head?" Red asks the group. At least I'm not the only one gawking at him. This guy can’t be her. He's too manly to be Alison. His body is more masculine than mine!

"Because someone said they were Alison, and I know for a fact that girl isn’t Alison." Why is Summer pointing at me? I'm not a girl. That's ridiculous. Just by looking at my body, my malformed, lanky, broad and disgusting body, anyone can see that I'm not a…

Why am I a girl? 

"Yeah, I'm Alison," Red says. This isn’t  happening. Why am I a girl? Why is she a guy? How is any of this possible? Why did she get turned into a badass dude? "More importantly, where is Ryan? Did he make it?" I’m right here. Can he not recognize me? How different do I  look?

"He's--" The hologram looks at me without saying a word. "Safe."  Astrus knows who I am. Why isn't he telling them I'm here? 

"Alison, you look like a guy," Leo said. 

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, dude.'

"Oh. Well, that does explain the voice."

"Red, I'm sorry this must be confusing for you, but time is of the essence."

"It's about those quakes, isn't it?"

"Correct. Six years ago, Dysphorus was defeated by six legendary warriors, but now his assistant, Loch, is seeking revenge.”

“You mean the guy that made all those monsters? Like Gender Vendor, or the Cuttle Copier?” Summer asked. Why didn't the others change? Summer still looks gorgeous as usual, Ziggy might have grown a couple of inches, and Leo, well he still looks adorably dorky.

“The very same.”

“Cool!” shouts Leo. He's excited, that makes sense. I mean I would be as well if I wasn't so confused. 

“Not cool, Leo,” Ziggy responded.

“They are right. It isn’t ‘cool,” said Astrus. “The Power has chosen you five to fight his forces. I will be your mentor. Your suits will give you extraordinary strength. Even more power than my previous team. If you five work together, you will surely succeed.”

“So--” What is wrong with my voice, why does it sound distinctly not like me? “So, we are meant to just listen to the guy who abducted us?"

“I don’t control the Power, I only help those who wield it. Pink, we can talk when the world isn't in danger,” Astrus said. They sound like a teacher who’s about to scold me. Just what I need when I’m freaking out about wearing a pink miniskirt and spandex. 

“The teleport gave you each a Morpher. Protect it with your life.” I move my hand to my belt. A piece of metal grazes my hand, it's warm. Friendly? How does metal feel friendly? "Loch has sent out a group of Anemobots. No monsters have been sighted yet, but the people of Stingray Cove need your help. Can I count on you to help those in need?" 

"Yes," Alison says. It isn't like I could turn him down. The others are going to be on board.

"I'm in," I announce. I’ll be a ranger, at least until I figure out how to go back to being a guy.

The other three look at each other. 

"We'll do it," Summer announces.

 

The damage could be worse. Most buildings are still standing. Newer buildings like the community center were hit the hardest. Dysphorus' attacks all those years ago meant most buildings could stand a tremor or two. Main Street’s biggest issue is the Anemobots.

I'd seen one in person before. Years ago. One threw a bag of soil at me and the pink ranger saved me. These ones look identical. Did they grow together? Were they farmed? The bush-like tentacles that grow out of their necks distinguish them from simple people in costumes. I want to run. These are the monsters in my nightmares. Am I going to face them? There are no obvious eyes on the creatures; it’s a wonder they can see at all. I can feel them watching me though. Their tentacles point at us. Their bodies, made of rock and moss held together with even more of those horrible glowing tentacles, stop moving when they see us. Are we going to fight them all?

"So the rangers finally show up, hmm?" a voice booms from the sky. "I knew Astrus would send a new team of children to fight me if I made a ruckus!" The voice is raspy but deafening. 

"Where are you?" Alison shouts.

"Don't worry about that, little girl."

"Don't call me that!"

"Sorry, little boy."

"We aren't little," I try and back her up through my fear.

"I've been alive longer than your parents. I have watched countless civilizations fall at the hands of my master and I will crush this one in his name."

"Show yourself!" Summer shouts at the sky.

"Not yet. You should focus on saving the civilians. Let's call it training for when the real threats come."

"Stop toying with us," Alison's voice booms and the voice stops.

The anemobots harassing people stop in their tracks. Was Loch toying with us? Flashes of light erupt from under the horrible creatures and their bodies are gone. I can’t tell whether it was teleportation, or disintegration. The dark patches underneath where they stood don't help keep me calm.