Pathway

The wave of grief shocked her with its intensity. She slid down the curving wall, curling into a tight ball. She covered her head with her hands, trying to be silent, unwilling to cry out her misery in front of her companions.

She heard a stir in his corner, but Ju Feng said, tersely, "Leave it, Chang. Go back to sleep."

He thinks if something comes over, that will be the end of me, Chang Chang thought. I'll be howling, and bring every damn guard above and below the water running to throw us off the ship. He was probably right.

Wiping her eyes, Chang Chang took out the box again and removed the stack of letters. She wanted to read them. Even if they weren't in Chang Wei's hand, they were the closest link she had to her first great-uncle. She removed the ribbon and unfolded the topmost sheet, the one bearing her name.

Dear Granddaughter,

I leave today on a new adventure. Wuzhi calls to me, and I find I must answer her gentle whisper.

Granddaughter. Chang Chang mouthed the word. The letters were from Chang Wei. She read the rest of the letter, hastily scrawled in the same bold writing. There was no mention of spellscars or powerful abilities, just a farewell from an aging adventurer setting off on another journey.

Chang Wei was my best friend.

Cerest's words haunted her. Did she really want to know the man who'd been friends with the monster that hunted her now? She held the letter, staring at it but seeing Cerest's scarred face instead. She folded the parchment and laid it beside her with the other letters. They beckoned to her, silently, but her arms felt weighted to her sides. She couldn't focus her eyes. Sleep, so elusive, was claiming her at last.

You speak to me of adventure, Grandfather. Chang Chang sighed. I know the word. I've already had enough for one lifetime.

Ju Feng waited, alert in the dark hold. He watched the square of dull sunlight above him turn steel gray, and then the rain came with full force. The air in the hold grew chilled, and a puddle formed at the foot of the ladder. The rain did not abate until the sky began to darken and the gateclose bell was near to sounding. Through all the weather changes, his companions slept, the butcher snoring in intermittent gulps and wheezes.

Chang Chang lay on her side, twitching now and then in the throes of some dream. If not for those small movements, Ju Feng might have thought she was a resting corpse. Her face was pale, her cheeks etched with dark circles where exhaustion had worked on her. 

Ever since they left the dwarven underground city of Myria, she had not rested. Looking at her, Ju Feng nodded in appreciation. She had done more than enough for her. And now, she's still doing more.

Before the past night's ordeal, she might have been beautiful, in a fragile, glass-blown sort of way. Grief had certainly left its mark on her, but the unstable magical essence she wielded had drained her more than any emotional trauma. She was dangerous, to herself and those around her, anytime she used the Art. Yet, what choice did she have, if she had any hope of survival?

***

The dream took her again.

She stood in the center of the ruined tower, looking straight up at the sun burning through a gap in the ceiling. Her skin tingled. The hair stood up on her arms. She didn't like this place. The shadows moved when she wasn't looking. Frightened whispers—the footsteps of folk who'd walked and died here a century ago—made it impossible to hear her own thoughts. She turned in a circle, searching for the gap in the wall, but something impeded her.

I am a child, Chang Chang thought. Her limbs would not move properly. She stumbled and fell, scraping her knees on rock.

She started to cry. Her knees hurt. The sun burned her neck. It was so hot in the tower. Why didn't someone come to pick her up, to take her away from this place?

"Chang Chang," said a feminine voice. She didn't recognize it, but it spoke with enough urgency to make her turn. Chang Chang tried again to stand and was suddenly knocked from her feet.

"Get her out!"

The shadows were shouting at her. It was too hot. Chang Chang looked up, and her body burst into flames.

***

Chang Chang awoke shivering, but her body poured sweat. Her bodice was saturated. She buried her head in her hands and waited for the dream fear to subside.

In the panic and grief of the night before, she'd almost forgotten the nightmare. After the boardinghouse fire, she'd been terrified of seeing the faces of the dead in her nightmares. But she only ever dreamt of the tower. It was a perversion of the tower had created for her. She thought she'd left it behind when she'd left her great-uncle's shop, but the tower had followed her, to the warehouse and now here.

Drawing a slow breath, Chang Chang forced away the frightening images. Her heartbeat resumed its normal pace, and she drifted for a time, meditating, summoning the energy she would need to call her magic for another day. The words of the spells were there; she had no need to memorize them, but the power required concentration.

When she was finished, she opened her eyes and looked around, blinking in the darkness. Slowly, she recognized her surroundings. The ship's hold—their sanctuary for the day.

She longed to cover her head and sleep for days on end. The cold combined with the raw emptiness in her stomach forced her to a sitting position. Her hair, stiff from multiple dunkings in salt water, stood out in snarls all over her head. And the smell… Chang Chang groaned. The smell was coming off her body. Seeing she was awake, Ju Feng ambled over to sit next to her. The butcher looked and smelled as unkempt as she.

"How do you feel?" he asked tentatively. His face was pale under his black hair.

"Food," Chang Chang said. She tried to run a hand through her hair and ended up getting her fingers stuck. Cursing a streak that would have made Brant blush, she yanked her hand free. "Food," she repeated, and smiled for Sull's benefit. "Delicious lamb's stew, to start, with fresh vegetables smothered in butter. Sharp cheese melted on bread slices. For the main course"—she scrunched up her face, pretending to give the matter grave consideration—"nothing whatsoever that includes fish." She waved a hand imperiously. "That's my order. Off with you."

Ju Feng's deep chuckle filled the hold. "Ah, thank you, Chang. I was worried you'd lost your good humor forever." He shot her a look of chagrin. "As to the food: the waterskins are fine, but the rations are soaked. I don't think they're fit to eat. But I found this next to me when I woke up."

He handed her a loaf of crusty bread. Chang Chang tore off a hunk and bit into it, expecting the worst. Surprisingly, the bread was flavorful and chewy inside. She took several more bites and a swig from her waterskin and immediately started to feel better.

"What's happening?" she asked, noticing for the first time that the thief—monk, she reminded herself—was not in the hold.

"Don't know," Ju Feng said, but I heard a lot of activity going on up there. Must be near fightin' time."

Chang Chang listened to the footsteps clattering above them. Ju Feng was right. The voices were building into a dull roar. She wondered how many people would be present for the fight. Her earlier apprehension returned in full.

Ju Feng meant to win them protection by fighting in the Cradle. But for how long could they realistically hope to stay safe? Chang Chang had never met Ju Feng's contact, but already she didn't trust the man. If Cerest offered him coin enough, Chang Chang had a feeling he would betray them in a heartbeat.

"Feng," she said.

Ju Feng slanted her a look, his mouth puffed up with bread. The sight made Chang Chang smile and twisted her heart at the same time.

"If you succeeds tonight, it will be protection for us. But there are danger there too."

"Aw, don't go startin' that again, Chang." Sull wiped the crumbs from his mouth with an angry swipe. "Doesn't matter what danger lies there,."unless you think I'm slowin' you down." He clenched his hands into fists. "I know I'm not much good in a fight."

"Feng, that's not what I—"

"I know it!" His face crumpled. He looked near tears. The sudden shift in mood caught Chang Chang completely off guard. "I know you're worried about me gettin' hurt on our account. It isn't fair—me strappin' myself to you, makin' you worry. Selfish is what it is."

"Selfish?" Chang Chang said incredulously. "You've risked your life over and over for me. I'm the one who's selfish and no good in a fight. Without you,  I'd be lost." Chang Chang felt dangerously close to tears herself.

"But it isn't for you," Ju Feng said, his voice barely audible. He dropped his head in his hands.