LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 31: Quitting
I wait to recover my Arcana Points and Barbatos actually does a good job of licking my fingers which heals me a bit. Then it's time for the 5th floor.
I crack open the door and see just about the worst thing I could possibly imagine. It's the parrot.
Pete the Pirate Parrot. This parrot has grown to be 5 feet tall. It is too big to fly in here, but that's okay because its psychic powers are also 5 times bigger than what they used to be. Also, it wants its eye patch back.
The black parrot squawks and turns one creepy bird eye at me and says, “Nevermore, nevermore!”
I pull my Nemesis Pro Negator from inventory and open fire with it, sending dime-sized void balls at the winged bastard before it can attack. “That's a raven thing to say!” I yell as dozens of black orbs eat holes into the big bird. All I've done is destroy one of its wings. I start to see psionic energy charge around its head like waves of heat and I just go back inside the stairs and close the door behind me.
I take a sigh of relief which is followed by the door blasting in on me, toppling me down the concrete stairs. I think my nose is broken. The door is on top of me and I'm on my stomach, pinned to the stairs. The parrot taunts me, “nevermore mother fucker, nevermore!” I feel waves of psionic energy shoving the steel door against me, threatening to crush me to death.
That's when I hear the meow of Barbatos, then a mean hiss and the sound of scratching. The pressure lifts from me and I get up to see Barbatos clinging to the side of the big bird's head, clawing at its eye. I take it that at close of range it can't use its powers? Sure, let's try it. I rush the parrot and get in close, then stab with a knife. I have to push in against thick feathers but I find flesh and I rip and tear away. It takes about a minute but together me and my kitten take down a really big parrot.
I take a breath. I'm almost out of healing snacks and I drank my last Dr Pepper just a minute ago. But we're close to the break room. Really close. Should just be dogs and cats in our way. Should be fine. Should be.
I turn to Barbatos and look her in the eye. She's a real cutie, but she's smeared with blood right now. She gives me a curious head tilt and I know I gotta risk it for the pet biscuit. I stand and stride into the pet department, knives at the ready.
Bobcats leap on cat trees to growl and I throw knives at three and shoot the fourth with my Sig Sauer P226 handgun. Six devil dogs round the corner and I just pump pistol rounds into them. One gets close but three knives punch into it from above and drive it to the ground.
I look around. There's nothing left alive. I sweep the room and double check. Nothing. Everything is dead except me and my kitten which has already chewed a hole in some kitty chow and is eating dry food off the floor. I frown. This shouldn't be this easy. Actually, maybe it's me. I realize that after the hydra den I'm just amped up and in a battle mindset.
I need to cool off. I need to let my brain and body reset. I've got about 45 minutes until the dungeon resets and monsters spill out into the town. So yeah, let's take 15.
I rummage through things in the pet supplies and find nothing of import. I go and check the break room. Still full of vending machines. I pop open some folded up duffel bags and fill them with healing snacks and drinks. Once they're as full as possible, I place each bag into my inventory. Jose taught me this trick. Your inventory is limited by your Luck, but any container counts as one item. He figured it out because of the 97 inch LG OLED 4K TV boxes. Those counted as one item, despite containing Styrofoam padding, a remote, instructions and the like. He really is a clever dude. Most people don't get that.
I sit in the break room and drink a Dr Pepper not for the Arcana Points but just for fun. Barbatos jumps into my lap and purrs. I turn and realize that I'm sitting at our table. The dungeon map for Brian's game is still here. My dice are scattered across the floor. My character sheet is here. Good old Trent the stoner tree man. What a dumb character I made.
I laugh looking at some of my notes. “Can't see both moons at night.” “Bardo has bombs in his pants.” “Do slugs have souls and can I trade them to devils?” “Printing press is evil, I bet.” I have no idea what most of these notes even mean anymore.
I sit there and smile, petting my winged cat, fully decked out like a Ranger, sitting in my retail job break room with a gun on my hip and magic in my soul. I feel like this is probably symbolic or something literary but I can't think of what it could mean.
My watch alarm goes off to tell me my 15 minute break is over and I get up, Barbatos jumping off my lap. I stretch and yawn. It's time to finish this. It's time to go to the manager's office.
-----
The steel double doors are painted black. They are also lined with red glowing light, and emitting a light fog. So you know it's the boss room. Wouldn't want anyone getting it confused with the bathroom.
I've got 30 minutes before monsters leave the dungeon to invade my town. 30 minutes before monsters respawn in here and I probably can't escape. So hey, fuck subtlety. I kick the doors open and immediately regret my decision.
Inside is a giant 25 foot sunflower with human hands instead of petals, and a gross human mouth instead of the center full of seeds. It doesn't seem to have legs or a body. The room is long and narrow and it seems to just pull itself along the walls towards me. The hands seem to be able to reach out with much too long arms when they need to grab or push along the floor and walls. I am about to unleash hell when I hear screams from behind the thing.
“Run! It's a monster!” the helpful voice tells me.
I start with the handgun and unload bullets into the mouth. “No shit, really?” I yell back.
The monsters isn't fazed in the slightest. What is this thing?
Hand To Mouth Lifeform. This embodiment of the modern retail worker just wants a raise. And to eat you. Good job collecting all those Sacagaweas. They'll make you extra tasty.
Possible Loot: Enchanted Rings (various)
Fuuuuck no. I am not taking bullshit social commentary from a dungeon. I throw knives up and into formation and prepare Flame Thrower.
“You have to go!” I know that voice. Dammit, it's the store manager Jeremy. I can't just torch this whole room and him with it. Fine, I'm doing this the hard way.
The monster is almost on me when I leap back firing Freezing Beams from my knives instead of Flame Thrower. The thin, teal beams of cold look almost like lasers, coming out in clean, constant streams of frost. I direct the teal colored beams to cut across the monster's bottom hands and they freeze solid and break off, spurting blood below it.
The monster crashes through the door frame and cartwheels out into the pet supplies area. I'm barely ahead of it and scramble up the cat litter ziggurat. The Lifeform just crashes right into it and the boxes go flying backwards, me with them. I crash into a big dog cage and look up in time to see the Lifeform still charging forward at me. I pull my knives back to me and their path takes them directly into the creature's back. I hear the impact and quickly cast Rising Ignition with all three blades.
Rising Ignition sets things on fire, but only works with a touch. So far I hadn't used it but this thing is big and I need a distraction. The monster is so big that it's blotting out most of my vision. I can't see the flames on its back but I hear the whoosh of fire and the massive, unearthly scream. The shockwave from the scream is so powerful that I'm pinned against the dog cage for several seconds. When I finally get control of myself again I see that hands, too many hands, are gripping around my legs and right arm. The hands have reached out on long, thin arms and have me in a firm grip. I cast static snap and try shocking a hand but it does nothing. Hydrate? The giant mouth just burps up gallons of water right in my face. The arms lift me off my feet and I'm dangling 4 feet in the air, being brought to the big mouth.
My knives ignite with flames and I try to sear this son of a bitch but he's just too big and too tough. I am pulled to the mouth, then tossed inside. The inside of the creature is just more hands. The hands inside the mouth are dirty and rotten and corpse-like. I shudder as the smell of rotting humans hits my nostrils.
I should note that the hands are of various skin types. So nice of the horrible monster to also be inclusive.
My knives are outside and I don't know where. I drop my telekinetic hold on them and summon three Fire Bats. The metal bats tipped with flame float in the air and I push them in opposite directions as the mouth closes in around me. I'm trying to keep this thing open, trying to keep the hands from tearing at my flesh. The mouth closes around me and my bats.
Hands grab me everywhere. Broken and torn nails dig into my skin anywhere armor doesn't protect. Fingers pull at my mouth. I feel a hand trying to rip off my ear. My arms and legs are bleeding. This is horrible. This is not how I want to die. I close my eyes to avoid the madness.
And that's when my menu pops up. I have four level ups. I need to be stronger to break free. I drop all four levels into Magus because it gives me 8 free stat points per level. I pump them all into Strength as I feel my ear rip off. A finger presses against my eyelid. I open my other eye and throw my fire bats in different directions away from me. All three bats, now using my super human Strength of 52, simply punch out through the hands. I myself flex and feel hands desperately try to keep me down to no avail. I free my right arm and use it to grab and crush a rotting arm that's wrapped around my head. The feeling of my hand just crushing through this monster is exhilarating.
I kick out and free my legs enough to right myself. Between the parted teeth I see the inside of the lips and punch. The lips of the monster pop open as if it were trying to do a Homer Simpson lip quivering belch. I climb out of the mouth and pull all three bats to me. I rear back as hands reach for my flesh and I swing all three bats like they were meant to be swung. The triple, home-run style strike blasts the monster backwards. Its flaming back cracks into the boss door frame.
I take two seconds to refocus, breathing in deeply, then out sharply. Then I'm the one rushing forward. My bats fly ahead of me and crash into hands, crushing them into splotches of blood and bone. My own fist hits the bottom of the mouth and it busts open, bleeding red blood. I have this thing now.
I put my 52 Strength, 58 Dexterity and 45 Agility together and begin to punch. All three stats are now beyond the normal human maximum of 40. And all three let me unload dozens of powerful punches in a row, crushing hands and bone and bursting flesh open.
I feel my gritted teeth as I'm splashed with blood. I should stop and wipe off the gore. I don't. I feel my fists throb with pain as my attacks begin to overcome my own body's ability to dish out this punishment. I should stop, but I don't. My newly strengthened muscles burn with the effort, begging me to stop. I don't.
I don't stop because I played Ranger in real life, not in the game. I'm US Army Rangers. And we don't stop for anything.
The thing finally dissolves and drops a ton of coins and some items. I must have killed it... A whole minute ago? More? Less? Who knows? I let my fists drop at last.
I'm not sure what just came over me. It was like there was no other option. No clever escape. This was a boss monster and I was alone. I just needed to deal damage. I just wanted to deal damage. Maybe to prove myself after the hydras. Maybe to prove I could crush this dungeon. Maybe to prove to myself that I am, in fact, still a damn Ranger.
I don't know. Maybe I'll figure it out later. Maybe not. My Wisdom is still only 8.
I turn and look down at the loot. There's a key and Sacagaweas and about a dozen rings. I just pocket the rings. Fuck the coins.
Boss Key. This key can do one of three things: 1) It can open the boss chest. 2) It can be given to the dungeon core to increase its power and give it another floor. 3) It can be used to disable the dungeon and turn it back into its original form.
Alright. I walk back into the boss room. It's mostly crushed desks and chairs. The Lifeform didn't have much room to maneuver in here. It's just a long narrow room with my old boss crouched down in it. My old boss from... Last week. Yeah, he was my boss just a week ago. Seems like so long ago.
“Hey, I killed that thing,” I say. “But how are you alive?”
He's cowering before me. “This, this line here, he, it couldn't cross it.” I look at what he's talking about. Inside of this room, at the far end where Jeremy is, there's a semi circle around the back wall. Inside the semi circle, aside from Jeremy, there are four things. 1) An empty water cooler. I'm assuming this is why Jeremy hasn't died of thirst. 2) A treasure chest the size of a microwave. It's your classic wood, brass edges and keyhole in front. 3) A floating sphere that glows with red and white energy. I'm assuming this is the “dungeon core.” 4) A podium with a keyhole. Must be the off switch.
I turn to the podium and try pushing the key in. Jeremy interrupts. “Hey, wait. Are you... Jun?”
“Jeremy,” I say as I turn the key. “You're a huge dick and everyone hates how you suck up to corporate while you shit on us. You're a terrible leader and I wouldn't follow you into a Whataburger and I fucking love Whataburger.”
The whole building begins to vibrate and tremendous sounds come from above and below us. A voice comes from all around us. “Warning! Warning! Dungeon will return to previous form in 150 seconds!”
I pull Jeremy to his feet. I say to him, “I quit. Now let's get the fuck out of here.”
It's a pretty mad dash through the Get!, I'll be honest. I have to use my new awesome Strength to carry him through the hydra infested 4th floor. I also have to smash the giant skeleton from seasonal who had apparently hidden from us earlier. But we make it out with about 12 seconds to spare. We hit the front door and Jeremy just keeps running. I move over to where my team is waiting with two EMT vans. I tell them to back up more.
The stretched, broken, exposed building shudders and we hear tremendous grinding. The tearing and rending of steel is deafening. The building starts to shrink and untwist. The letters on the front of the building re-align. The concrete front of the store is still cracked and broken but then the cracks start to seal up. The broken glass from the front door flies back into position and uncracks, leaving pristine, just cleaned front doors. The whole process takes about a minute, and then it's like it never happened.
I take just a minute to check on Gwen and Jose. I toss Gwen some healing Ruffles. It looks like her legs have been healed but are scarred. She herself looks exhausted both mentally and physically. She'll be fine. I need to make sure this is finished.
I approach the Get! cautiously. I look through the big front doors. I see orderly shelves, clean floors, a produce department just stocked. I walk forward and the doors open wide to me. I find my team alongside me, minus Gwen. We enter, 5 fully armored soldiers looking utterly out of place as we peruse the front aisles of the Get! experience.
We say some dumb, obvious things like “it's back” and “Woah” and “these are only $4.99 in Texas?” I calmly walk down the grocery section, hand on my knives, just in case. There's nothing out of the ordinary. Everything is back where it should be.
“Jun,” Jose calls to me. I turn and see my friend hobbling slowly. The EMTs gave him a crutch but he's not fast with it.
“Yeah?” I ask back.
“Can you grab two sleeves of Bagels? One plain, one cinnamon raisin? For the kids.” I nod and go collect the breakfast breads. You know what? I'm getting him the fancy organic ones. I walk over to the registers. There's a surreal moment as I walk through the busiest part of the store all alone. No sounds of beeping registers. No employees asking “how's your day going?” No customers complaining about the online coupons. Just utter quiet. It's not bad. It's kind of nice like this.
I go through self checkout, which seems to be in perfectly working order. I drain a stack of Sacagaweas into the register to pay for the Bagels. I bag them up and we head out.
Mercy Mahar, my girlfriend, is there to meet me again. Apparently she waited in her car the whole time again. I'm starting to think that she might be into me. She comes over, kisses me, and then perkily asks, “soooo, how was work?”
-----
Dossier RM-4499, Raoul Mendoza
Raoul Mendoza's early life is a mystery. We know he grew up during the drug revolution in Columbia, and made his name as a kingpin during the height of the Reagan era drug wars. He survived many upheavals from both internal and external threats.
Mendoza's main strength is his ruthlessness. He executed 14 aid workers in 2002 because they got just one of his employees off of heroin. In 2007 his troops invaded the small town of Miraflores and took control of it for 187 days, killing and torturing citizens while looking for CIA agents who didn't exist. In 2011 he had the president of Columbia assassinated, and in 2019 he was rumored to have a hand in biological weapons manufacturing.
Since the Dracosys initiation he has forced his men into the nearby Ruins of Cerro Azul to both clear threats and gain levels. He himself leads teams in daily, and our drone photography shows him looking 20 years younger than he did a week ago. When he takes his men into battle now, they seem to actually transform into demons or devils. He seems to be growing his army by the day, using the lure of power and wealth to draw in the poor and despondent. His gang now numbers around 14,000, almost 3,000 of which joined after the ruins opened and people learned of classes and levels.
Raoul Mendoza
Alias: El Verdugo
Age: 71
Height: 5 foot 7 inches
Build: overweight (formerly), lean (current)
Skin: Red-brown
Hair: short, grey, slicked back
Tattoo: a scorpion on the back of his neck.
Wears a silver cross necklace.
Usually in white linen clothes but wears body armor often.
Class: Warlord