LIGHTNOVELONLINE 59. Unto the Trial of Will (III)
I step to the side of the sword, hearing a loud crash reverberate throughout the city street as the blade smashes into the cobblestones. I can feel the vibrations on my feet through ground, the power that was contained within that throw. With [Aesthesia], I can tell that it made a crater the size of a small wine barrel. Either way, its longsword is now firmly lodged within the ground. There's no reason to stop my assault here.
Utilizing my dagger through [Telekinesis] is powerful, but risky. Jemith beat it into me that the risk increases the further out the dagger is from me. It's one thing to retrieve it with another casting of [Telekinesis] if it's rather close, but it's another thing entirely if it's meters upon meters away.
If I throw it out now, I'm almost positive that the thing will be able to swat it away with ease, or sever the threads holding it up. Even if I use that opportunity to cast a spell, it would be free to dodge it -- easily, even. Why is it so difficult to land a blow on it from far away?
As I'm lost in thought, the tendril tethers begin to waver and shiver, contracting like muscles. The sword stuck in the ground beside me starts to rattle and shake, trying its hardest to slip loose.
Is it... Controlling the sword?
The wheels in my mind begin to turn, and I recognize the path forward. The weapon is a part of this monster, and so are the tendrils holding onto it. If I can destroy those tendrils before it can retreat back...
My hand moves of its own volition, swinging Tanascáil down with vigor towards the tendrils. The blade carves its way through a third of them, before the momentum of my swing is stripped away and the dagger comes to a halt. It's like hacking through brush, the tendrils in the center are far sturdier than the rest. A dagger just isn't the right weapon for this.
After being struck, they begin to wiggle and shake even more intensely. I've lost my chance at severing them.
I leap back just as the tendrils recoil. The sword is drawn from the ground with the sound of rustling stone, but it doesn't make its way back to the one wielding it. Instead, it veers straight towards me.
It's hard to see the tendrils through the sword flying at me, but I see that the monster's been wounded by it. The cracks on its chest splinter a little more, growing in size.
If it worked before, it will work again. It's cheap, but safe. I raise a hand, casting [Barrier] in front of the sword's path. Once more, the two clash, and once more the blade shatters. I've done more damage to the monster, the longsword now missing its tip.
The crack fractures out even further, but the amalgam refuses to stop. The tendrils begin to shudder once more. But instead of the sword withdrawing to it, it advances to the sword.
Faster than I thought possible, it's pulled towards the longsword by its tendrils. Its curved sword is raised high, waiting to strike towards me as soon as it's within range.
For this entire fight, I've been trapped into a defensive position. No...
My mind flashes back to the first monster I fought, running me down and forcing me to cast [Energy Missile] from the ground. The minotaur... I ran and ran as fast as I could away from it, before I was eventually forced to fight it. The imps...
Even the imps...
When I'm forced to fight, my mind shuts down. Every thought adds fuel to the fire of panic. It's a frightening thing to put your life on the line -- it's the scariest thing there is. Against the devil in the mines, I felt the looming threat of mortality with each swing of its sword. If it just so happened to strike me, I would have died in an instant.
Against Josephine Cirix, I forced myself to move. I willed my weak, broken body forward despite the fact that death hung over my head. There was nothing more to do than to die, and I understood it then.
For every fight I've been in, I've been trapped in a defensive position.
A trap made by my mind.
Ah...
I space out, but the flow of combat has kept moving around me. That curved sword is falling down upon me, making its way for my neck. It's going to decapitate me.
Am I going to die..?
Time crawls to a halt as thoughts overwhelm my mind, my life flashing before my eyes even as my body refuses to act.
I remember the pain, and my body remembers it, too. The minotaur sent me flying, broke my body in ways I didn't think that I could possibly survive. It shattered several ribs with a single punch to my side, and very nearly sent me to the afterlife. I wouldn't have lived if Adeline hadn't saved me.
The Hunters were all fierce as could be, knowledgeable in how to take out any combatant before them. The feeling of their arrows and daggers piercing into my flesh are etched into my mind. They were unrestrained in their attacking, but... They
The worst of all was Josephine Cirix.
She slashed me open, forced me to expend every bit of mana I had left, and then tore into my heart. She seared whatever was left to destroy with that flaming sword of hers. Gods.. It hurt. All of the things that happened before I died, I mean.
The truth of the matter is simple. Within my heart there is a deeply rooted fear, coiling and twisting around my consciousness like blackened, thorny vines. A fear of experiencing pain, a fear of having to hurt others, a fear that I'll become someone terrible if I accept violence as a routine part of my life.
Above all of that, I'm afraid of death -- even though I've already experienced it.
I'm weak. In body and spirit both.
"Are you kidding me? Of course you aren't."
It's her again. Adeline, always there to reassure me. Always there to guide me. This time will be the same.
"You're strong! You just don't have enough experience to back up that skillset. But if you become someone who can cast off those fears... Someone who can put her body on the line in order to win... Someone who can fight without the burden of loss!"
I feel her arms wrap around me once more.
"Even in this situation, there are plenty of ways out."
I can feel it, the blade mere centimeters from digging into my flesh. But the fear has fallen from my body, and I am left with nothing more than peace. Nothing more than Adeline's arms around my shoulders.
"Watch."
Mana surges where the blade would strike in my neck, solidifying and hardening as I cast [Barrier] directly over the spot. It's hardly a conscious action, just one that my body forces. In that transcendent moment, everything I do feels as natural as breathing air, as if I'm not even doing it myself. I can see it, now, that gilded path that leads to my victory.
Was that something that I could always do?
"I think the little hint Jemith gave you made it more feasible than before. It's the same as using your hands, but... It's your neck. It should work pretty well from every part of your body!"
The amalgam's curved sword shatters on my barrier, the fragments of shadow splattering across my skin before dissipating entirely. The monster is close now, looming over me like a wolf.
A tranquil smile parts my lips as I reach out a hand, pressing it against the amalgam's chest-plate. I can feel the cracks and fractures beneath my fingers, and the beating sound of the light humming deeper inside.
The longsword swings towards my arm in one last struggle to put a stop to what comes next, but it's too late. I've already put everything into place for a decisive victory.
[Forcethorn Burst]
