29. Meditation
The two of us stayed at the inn for the next week, touring the city here and there. She explained quite a few tidbits about dwarven culture and history to me during our time there, which I enjoyed a great deal.
We were also able to spend the time shopping for necessities. Namely rations, equipment, and clothing.
I was also able to speak with Cairbre some more. In particular, I was able to ask him if he knew anything about the numbers that eluded me. Though the specifics and intricate details of it seemed to be missing from his repertoire just the same as myself, he was able to tell me that the figure represented a “volume.” The amount of space that the skill would affect, in essence.
The three was representative of the fact that this volume’s dimensions stem from three numbers, or at least that’s what I was told.
So, in theory, I would need one thousand mana in order to transmute a 1 meter cube. A truly staggering amount. Even at one hundred intellect, it would require me to spend every last bit of mana that I would have. The more “realistic” numbers were more difficult to derive. Cairbre was quick to let me know that, while he knew basic arithmetic, that kind of task was well beyond him. In a sense, he was in the same boat as I was. It meant that I would mostly have to experiment, figuring out for myself what amounts were reasonable and what amounts were not.
Most of our time, though, was spent on Adeline’s meditation practice, something that she said I would have great need of when we enter another dungeon. Or, gods forbid, encounter another group of soldiers or bounty hunters.
The process remained largely the same as the way she trained me when we were traveling in the wilds. The two of us would sit down, and I would keep my eyes closed as I focused on my breathing. The goal of the practice was to reach out with my “senses”, and see without seeing. I was skeptical about the feasibility of the task, but I continued to follow Adeline’s teaching in the matter.
“Sybil, do you know how you can immediately put your hand to your elbow if you need to? Or touch your knee with ease, even if you can’t see?” Adeline sat behind me as we took a break, arms wrapped around me while I tried my very hardest to continue hearing what she said. “Your senses tell you where everything is. It’s as easy as breathing.” She rested her head on my shoulder, “I know it’s ridiculous to understand. And once you do, it’s nearly impossible to explain to someone.”
“So, maybe I can make things a little easier.” She put her hands on my shoulders, patting them gently. Her breath touched against my ear as she whispered in a way that drove a shiver down my spine, “Succeed, and you’ll receive a prize.”
I clasped my hands together tightly, my shoulders stiffening. At that moment, I was all but certain that my face had gone red as a tomato. At least, it felt that way.
She took her hands off of me. “Let’s start again, from the beginning.” I closed my eyes, blotting out my vision to prepare for the exercise we had done countless times before. “Imagine your awareness, all around your body. You know where every part of yourself is because your senses dwell there.”
I took a deep breath, slowing my breathing while her explanation went on. “Slowly, carefully, imagine those senses moving outward. Will them, you have the capacity to.”
She made it sound like a simple task. To begin with, I wasn’t even certain if these “senses” were truly something that I could move around. The goal was to expand your circle of awareness, in concept it’s a simple thing to understand. The idea that I could force that to happen through sheer will felt almost ridiculous, but she was teaching me to do it. It was something that could be done.
Right. I needed to cast aside all doubts and truly try to do what I was told.
I imagined my body, every part that I could sense and feel. From my feet, all the way up to my head. Gradually, I worked my way around until I was conscious of my whole body all at once. I felt the air on some parts of my skin, and cloth on others. I felt the way that my limbs connected to one another, the way that they flowed as one singular ‘thing’.
Just like manipulating mana, I began trying to push outward. I felt nothing out of the ordinary, at first. A small amount of frustration was growing in the back of my mind, but I pushed it away at once. The feeling of my heartbeat began to fade, and I almost forgot that I was breathing.
I felt as more of the bed underneath me came into my perception. Even with my eyes closed, I could sense it, in the same way as the rest of my body. It felt odd, to put it bluntly. I had an acute awareness of what was there, without really seeing it.
It had been real after all, this feeling. It was something that I could actually use. I pushed out just a touch more, only to sense Adeline.
My eyes jolted open as an alert came from my status window.
[Congratulations! A skill has been unlocked: Aesthesia]
A smile came to my face as I opened my status window fully. The skill was near the bottom of the list, an F-rank. But I had acquired a new skill nonetheless, this was a momentous occasion.
Aesthesia
While concentrating, your senses extend beyond your body, allowing you to become keenly aware of your surroundings within 2 meters.
(0%)
“I got a skill..” I spoke out to Adeline, who was still behind me.
“What’s the name of it?”
“Aesthesia. ‘While concentrating, your senses extend beyond your body, allowing you to become keenly aware of your surroundings within 2 meters’ is what it says.”
I heard a deep exhale from behind me, and then felt Adeline’s arms wrap around my front once again. “Won’t you just share a little bit of your luck, Sybil?” She rested her head on my shoulder once more, “It’s a little vague, though. What can you detect with it?”
“I only really got as far as the bed before it opened. I think I sensed your knee?”
“You can sense objects?” Adeline sighed, “A swordsman would be unstoppable with a skill like that, you know? But.” Adeline laughed mischievously, “I suppose I do owe you now, don’t I? You did good work, so you deserve your prize.”
Why had she kept saying ‘prize’ in that tone..? And, gods, why was I so warm? She had me held tightly, bound by her embrace in a way that wouldn’t allow for my escape, even if I tried. It felt as if my head were going numb.
“Sybil.” I blinked a few times as she called my name. “Don’t bite your lip.” I had been biting my lip? I opened my mouth for a second, but no words would come. “I’ll have need of them in a moment, so they need to be pristine.”
My lips? My mind raced back and forth, barely comprehending that Adeline had gotten up from behind, moving around to sit right in front of me. She smiled at me sweetly. “You alright in there, Sybil? We don’t have to do this if it’s too much.”
“N-no! I..” My voice had come out far louder than I meant for it to, and I cut myself short. It was getting difficult to think straight with the haze in my mind, easily blotting out any hope of a full thought. “I just mean.. I-I’m fine.”
Adeline put a hand on my shoulder, pushing me down until my back laid flush against the bed. A moment later, she was looming over me. She smiled down at me, “There’s some enthusiasm. Good.” I wanted to reach up and cover my face, to cover any part of myself from her gaze. I knew better than to try, though. Adeline wouldn’t have it.
She claimed that I was lucky for obtaining a skill, but I knew my luck resided elsewhere. This was proof of it. She wanted to see me, all of me. Even the parts that I’d cover from shame. The blushing, the nerves, everything. My thoughts were swirling all about. Was it truly possible for somebody to hold these feelings for me? I could have been dreaming.
Adeline lowered herself, her face getting closer and closer to mine. I thought that I might melt as some of her weight pressed down against my body, sinking me slightly into the bed. “You look perfect like this. I almost just want to admire the view for a while.” My legs squirmed a bit in a response. I was puzzled about how she could say those things with such ease. It would have been impossible for me to do the same.
“But I shouldn’t.” She put a hand on my face, caressing it in a way that made it feel like somebody was stuffing a blanket into my skull. “You made it very clear that you want me to continue, so I shouldn’t slow things down, should I?”
I didn’t answer her question, but my response must have been quite clear from my reactions alone.
Adeline moved down the last bit that was required, closing the gap between the two of us. Our lips met one another’s, and I felt a surge run down my spine. My face felt like it might erupt from how much heat was rushing to it. She held the back of my head, whispering into my ear with a softness that threatened to unmake me, “Apologies, but just one isn’t enough for me at the moment.”
As it turned out, a few dozen wasn’t enough either.