Paladins of the Pickle Goddess

I had tried a larger approach to the problem, attacking the maze blindly. Clearly, that had failed. This needed a more delicate touch. Before parts of me I actually cared about got removed via dart.

As Duran pushed aside cobwebs, I stepped inside the small space, ducking my head. I ran my hand along the edge of the walls, squinting for any lines of inscription. The other temple in the Capital- as vastly different as it had been- had contained a secret passageway. Perhaps this would, too.

Squids. So sneaky. Andrena wouldn’t do something like that. At least… I didn’t think she would. I hadn’t actually spent much time in her temples.

I sneezed as I disrupted a little too much dust. Behind me, Duran had climbed up on a shelf to peer up at the ceiling. “It’s more rock,” he reported. “I think there’s a shell in it.”

“Good work,” I said.

I scuffed my shoes along the floor, trying to find a pattern in the paving stones. They looked like most of the temple; well-rounded gray rock. Pale grout. Not even a squid carving among the lot. Had Teuthida really cheaped out on her temple? This was supposed to be the center of belief. Even if we were only in the outer ring, I thought it was strange that we hadn’t seen more than rock and some statues.

Well, and some darts. My hand went to my arm again.

“The mattresses look fairly well maintained.” Apis had come in behind us. He was fluffing one of the mattresses with what looked like genuine interest.

“I thought there was supposed to be hidden treasure,” Duran complained.

Outside, I thought I could still hear Herminius wailing about his injuries. Something about it ruining his profile. Vita was suspiciously silent.

Beyond Duran’s shoulder, there was one wall I still hadn’t inspected. I thought I could see an engraving. I squinted. There was something else, too. It looked like a shadow moving.

I blinked. For a moment, there was a face looking out at me. A finger beckoning me forward. Then I rubbed at my eyes, and it was gone.

Good going, Elysia. One day in a temple and you’ve already lost your mind.

I looked over my shoulder. Apis was looking in the same direction, but he didn’t seem to have noticed anything. He was dusting off the mattress, whistling under his breath.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Stone. Dust. Around me I could hear Duran chattering. Apis whistling. Outside, Herminius was complaining, and Vita was humming under her breath. Loud, the lot of them. We’d never sneak up on anyone. There was a whistling of wind through the halls, and running water somewhere under my feet. The stone was cold underneath my hand.

When I re-opened my eyes, there was no face in front of the back wall. Only the engraving. I must have imagined it. A long day and too much company. That’s all.

I still felt a little hesitant as I reached forward. The last time someone semi-transparent had appeared, I’d been forced into duty as a Paladin. I had a distaste for the entire concept, even if this vision was entirely my imagination.

Thankfully, my fingers only brushed stone. I ran them over the engraved stone, trying to figure out if there was a button I should press, or- I frowned. One of the tentacles was too long, wrapping around and over.

It looped around itself and pointed… to the right? I squinted. All I could see was the corner.

Ah, well. Who was I to argue with a carved squid? I’d already come this far. I crouched in the corner and began to press on stones at random. After a few minutes of failure, Duran came to join me. He didn’t even ask what I was doing, which was concerning; he just started poking at the wall.

When Apis came to join, and did the same, that was when I knew we were too far gone. “Aren’t you going to ask what we’re doing?” I said, as I tried to wiggle a stone free.

“We’re trying to find a secret door,” said Duran. “Obviously!”

Apis poked at a stone above my head. “There must be more. Otherwise, why would this be here.”

As much as I wanted the stone carving to show me something, I was losing hope. I stood back and sighed, leaning back on one of the shelves. It had been a long day. All we’d found was a half-rate storage room, already emptied-

My arm fell underneath me. The shelf collapsed. Before I had fully understood what was happening, I was thumping sideways, into the wall. My shoulder lit up bright with pain.

“Elysia!” Apis grabbed my other shoulder, pulling me back. I stumbled.

“I am going to fry that squid in two layers of flour,” I muttered, “With an egg and ale batter, and seven different spices.”

I shook my hand off. I was trembling. I tried to look like I wasn’t shot through with adrenaline. This was nothing. I had just fallen.

I brushed my knees off, trying to seem casual. Duran pulled on my cloak. “What!”

“Madam Elysia, where you fell,”

“Obviously a bad design. What did you expect?”

“Look!” He pointed. I turned.

“…oh.” It hadn’t been a shelf. It had been a lever. Beyond, where it had been stone, the wall had opened up. Where my fingers had uselessly scrabbled against the wall, there was now an empty space. My mouth watered. I saw pantry-stable foods. What looked like pickled vegetables (hey! Wasn’t she taking Andrena’s spot?), fish in jars, and a sheaf of wood.

“We’re back in business, boys.”

“You.” We turned automatically. I reached for my sword. Herminius grabbed for the crossbow. Vita pulled up her crutches. In the doorway of the small alcove, hood up and spectacles reflecting her own lantern, was Katla. “I thought you said you would take your own path,” she said.

“What?” I was the first one to recover from the shock. “Excuse me. You’re the one that ran into us.”

“You should be gone from here by now,” she said. “I’m inspecting the maze. You are finishing the temple, are you not? Why are you lingering?”

“Lingering?”

“It’s been a full day. Why are you still here?”

This was just insulting. I stepped back and dropped my hand from the sword. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, get out or tell us how to get through this. We’re solving it. At a normal pace.”

She looked in between us. “You…”

“Look,” I said. “This is our-” I paused. How to even describe it? “Our hole in the maze. Get your own!”

“Fine,” she said. “Since you’ve requested my help, I’ll guard you. But for tonight only.”

Then, as if we’d invited her, she put her cloak down, stepped past the statue, and came into our safe little hide-away. The gall! Before I could reach forward and throw her out, she reached into her pack and pulled out a rabbit.

I decided I could forgive her. For now.

“How many of those did you keep?” I said, poking at the fire. Apis and I had scavenged some of the shelves for additional firewood, wanting to save the nicely stacked piles for a later emergency; Herminius had ‘helped’, which in his case had meant watching us and giving unhelpful advice.

Vita was curled up in the corner, just watching. Apparently she was just here for ‘theological support’. I would let it pass as long as she was still injured.

“The rabbit won’t keep past tonight,” said Katla. “But I expect some of your rations in return. This is an exchange, after all.” She glanced up. “Perhaps a flat-bread? To go with the apple butter?”

Oh, she was bold.

“Duran,” I said. “You heard the woman. Stop moping, start cooking. Remember when we made those flatbreads on sticks?”

Duran pushed himself up from where he’d been flopping all over the bed. “What? I thought we were all going to die and it wasn’t worth anything.”

“You should always be ready to cook,” I said. “Especially when you’re afraid for your life.”

He looked like he wanted to complain, but I put on the pressure. “It would earn you another recipe, if you could complete it in these conditions.” He brightened at that, flipping out of the bed and rooting through the bag. “Um, am I allowed to use the flour?”

“Just some of it. As much as you think she deserves,” I said. I certainly wasn’t going to offer any of the fish or vegetables. Those were the tasty stuff.

He met my eyes and put some of it back. I smiled. Yes. He was doing very well as an apprentice.

Across the fire, Katla was pulling various instruments out of her cloak and cleaning them with a cloth, then putting them back into a little case. I watched her for a while as Duran mixed his dough in a bowl, occasionally asking me for advice. I had expected not to recognize any of the tools. Strangely enough, I did.

“Why do you have lancets?”

Her hands stilled. Before I could watch further, she began tying her bag up again. The many little glass vials went back into the case; everything was tied back and put into her cloak. “I told you,” she said. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Teuthida isn’t the god of blood, is she?”

I lost track of all the domains, but that didn’t seem to fit with Teuthida. I supposed blood did flow like water. But if you had enough of it to be making that decision, surely it was Cabellus’s problem?

“Do you want the rabbit, or not? It looks like your apprentice is finished with the flat-bread. Don’t you cook anything yourself?”

“Duran manages well enough. Part of teaching is letting your students grow.”

Sure enough, Duran had twisted the flatbread dough around the shaft of some of Herminius’s overly-fancy metal crossbow shafts and it had crisped up pretty well.

“Very good,” I said. “Unlike last time, kneaded perfectly. You can actually swallow it.” Last time it had been more like a bread-shaped rock. Useful as a weapon, not as food.

Duran brightened. “Do I earn the recipe?”

“Apis?” I finished my half, then handed it to Duran.

Apis took a piece, then chewed thoughtfully. “It’s good,” he said, finally. “Yes.”

The rabbit was tasty, but anything would have been. As I watched the embers die, I kept an eye on Katla. She guarded her cloak jealously.

Why did she want those lancets? Whose blood was she here to take?