Overpowered Wizard

For longer than Zarian could recall, he sat there in silence as he thought about the implications of Jack still being alive. Zarian wasn’t exactly angry. He wasn’t entirely upset. He was, however, a little bothered.

That crazy guy, a former peer from highschool of all things, should’ve died in Castle Grimrock. Instead, Jack was alive, and he was working with Foodie to kill Zarian.

It didn’t take long for the Madness Wizard to connect the dots. He soon realized Jack had the help of the Grimrock Warlock, the evil mother.

“Do you have to report this conversation to your mother?” Zarian asked quickly.

“Yes,” Foodie said. “She’s renewed my slave mark. It’s more powerful and controlling than ever before.”

“Fuck,” Zarian cussed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

As lackadaisical as Zarian could act, this was a serious matter. He’d given away so much that he wanted to punch himself right now.

He wondered what Luciana was thinking of all of this. They were officially friends, but she was also the goddess of the corrupted goblins holding Castle Grimrock.

He imagined she had to play impartially in matters such as these. Still, he could try bringing the goddess into this.

“Can you do anything, Luciana?”

The Evil Goddess Shadowfell spoke in an alluring and somber tone. Foodie shivered as she heard her goddess for the first time.

“I will not.”

“Okay, I won’t push.”

Strangely, Zarian wasn’t bothered by that response. Friendship with a divine entity like Shadowfell meant he had to appreciate her impartial nature regarding evil-on-evil conflict, especially under her house.

Maybe if it was against anyone else, Shadowfell would do something.

“Okay, so I can’t tell you much more than this. Fuck me. Why wasn’t I thinking?”

He was tired. Beat up. He’d fought the evil gods at their altars. He’d overcome impossible feats. He was riding high on the highs while he hadn’t cared about what he was saying. It couldn’t be helped.

Once Zarian thought that over, he noted his mistake and moved on. He questioned what it would mean for the Grimlock Warlock and Jack Masters to know about his party and their successes.

They don’t know about Gilbert and Naomi’s advancements. Those two hadn’t advanced yet, although Gilbert might advance soon if Zarian’s charity idea came to fruition. Even if they know about the wolf dragon and Forgotten Kingdom, are Jack and the warlock willing to risk leaving their fortifications to challenge us?

“Wait, what’s Jack’s class?” Zarian asked.

“He’s the Star Crossed Hater,” Foodie said. “He’s currently Level 37. He’s hunted various adventurers from across the Stone Sea River east of Castle Grimrock. That’s the opposite of where you are. Many adventurers from the small kingdoms across the river have come for the riches my mother hoards that the orcs left behind. And Jack has sharpened himself, fighting them solo for the eventuality of facing you.”

“Legendary?” Zarian asked.

“Yes.”

“Once he gets his first class advancement, he might get mythical.”

“I agree.”

Zarian slowly nodded. “I can’t imagine him as much of a threat to me. You’re more of a threat if you fight me seriously.”

“I know.”

The two looked at each other. Zarian wanted to reach into the crystal ball and pat Foodie on the head. He wanted to tell her everything would be alright.

Despite how tough she’d acted when they initially meant, Foodie looked more open and emotionally raw now. He could see the fragility behind her tough facade. She could only be strong for so long, despite all of her mythical power.

“Foodie, I need you to hold on. We’re going to tackle some quests and head back your way soon, okay?” Zarian grinned confidently. “We’ll have the rare super weapons of the Forgotten Kingdom with us. Your mother will be doomed!”

“Doomed!” Foodie chirped. “Ah, sorry. That’s a strange tic as a goblin. Strong, evil words make us goblins want to repeat them when we’re excited or emotional.”

“Doomed!” he repeated.

“Doomed!”

Zarian laughed despite the pain of his busted body. The fragility behind Foodie’s demeanor faded. She even giggled along with him.

It was unfortunate that they would have to end the call. This would probably be their last conversation for a while.

“Can you tell me as much as you can before we go?” Zarian asked.

She did her best. Throwing everything she could at Zarian. She talked about various defensive measures and weaknesses in the main fortresses and walls at the top of the Castle Grimrock Mountains.

She explained how the caverns and subterranean floors were actually lead-ins to major traps in the bowels of the castle, which had killed or captured all adventurers who’d sought her mother’s death and the treasures. The best way to overcome Castle Grimrock was also considered the more daring way, which was directly over the top.

Foodie had also talked extensively about Jack, his powers, and his obsession with killing his sworn enemy. Yeah, Zarian could clearly see that Jack had lost all of his marbles. When Foodie spoke of her mother, Zarian had to correct Foodie on something she was misinformed about.

“My mother isn’t in the Level 50s?” Foodie blinked, her ears lowering. “If that’s the case, then much of my information could be wrong. I’m restricted from certain sections of Castle Grimrock, and Mother only tells me so much.”

If that was the case, then Zarian would have to take everything Foodie said with a grain of salt. He wanted to think that the Grimrock Warlock was in the Level 70s. The gnoll elders should be able to defeat her if they could get to her, but Foodie’s mother came across as very cunning. She might even be higher than normal in the evil alignment as well.

There was no point in asking Shadowfell. The goddess wouldn’t say.

“I need to go, Zarian,” Foodie mumbled.

“You don’t have to resist telling them what you know. In fact, tell this to Jack. He’s a nobody to me. Hell, I don’t even care to fight him. If anything, Naomi would wreck him for me.”

“He won’t like that.” Foodie smiled. “If I’m forced to explain what happened here, then I will tell Jack that.”

“Don’t get hurt, Foodie.”

“I’d like to see them try. Farewell for now … Zarian.”

“Farewell.”

Zarian and Foodie shared a look that said everything. They were truly amicable and connected. She was a friend, even if her mother forced her to go after Zarian’s life.

The Madness Wizard figured he’d make himself strong enough to keep Foodie contained until the Grimrock Warlock was slain.

The call ended. The crystal ball returned to being a milky white orb. Zarian stored it away in Para’s pocket dimension.

He lounged on his throne, his stomach growling fiercely. He really needed to eat. He really, really needed to rest.

“Are you not angry with me?” Luciana asked through her altar.

“No.” Zarian shook his head slowly. “Friendship also means I won’t push you to intervene in things that make you uncomfortable. I’ll deal with it.”

“The fall of the Green Hop Explorers and what happened to them is part of my evil nature, Zarian. I didn’t care to help. I allowed it all to happen. Then I shed a few tears over the tragedy and let it be.”

“Do you feel bad?”

“I always do.”

“Heh. You’re an interesting character, Luciana Shadowfell. Well, this conversation has revealed a lot to me. The gods are incredibly monstrous. You’re busy doing countless things across the universe while having this conversation aren’t you?”

After a few seconds of silence, Luciana answered: “Yes. This is the capabilities of us true gods. Universal omniscience, plus more. It’s a part of the System that’s special to us. However, I am devoting more attention to you than all the other lesser worlds and more.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes. For I’m invested in you. And I find you impressive. And I like you.”

“Ah, yes, you’ve said that you found me impressive in your letter. Thanks for the boons, by the way.”

“Once you leave for the North Crown Peak, I will deliver upon you more boons. I suppose you’ll like more coffee, yes?”

“Very much so.” Zarian wanted to ask how she’d gotten the coffee from the old world but held back. He would get his answers with time. Building a relationship mattered more.

Luciana let out a brief chuckle. The area rippled with her somber but genuine laughter. Zarian wondered if she was laughing for him or if she was genuinely laughing because he made her laugh.

Despite his terrible condition and the situation with Jack Masters, Zarian’s mood remained high. Things only grew better when he felt a significant ping from one of his spectral spiders spying on the Bramblevale Keep.

He looked through the spiders’ eyes. He saw Arnold of Ambrose on an early morning walk.

Bingo bango, we’re getting somewhere.

“I have a charity effort to wrangle together, so I need to head off for now, Luciana.”

“Charity?”

“Yeah. It’s when you do free things for others.”

“How strange.”

“Watch and learn. Maybe you might like it. Or maybe it’s too troublesome, so you can live vicariously through me, if that’s what you want.”

“I would like that very much. Thank you for your consideration, Zarian. I will watch closely as your benefactor and … friend.”

“Later gator.”

“Later gator? Is that a saying? Can I still say farewell? Um, farewell!”

Zarian chuckled at the obvious confusion in the air from the goddess. Yeah, Luciana was a fun character, even if she was mainly an awkward downer.

Now it was time to make like a tree and leave.

His throne transformed into bone plates and spidery legs and rose upward.

Para still had Zarian all strung up like a puppet. But instead of relying on nearby rubble, she moved about with long spider legs, keeping Zarian inches off the ground. She held the evolving dungeon core on the top of her body where all the legs merged.

Para was jittery and jerky at first until she formed more legs – up to twelve – then she spread them out further and arched them higher. Zarian remained in the middle as a puppet on Para’s strings.

They lumbered away from the rubble and reached the staring beggars gathered in a crowd in the far corner. Half of them fled away into the dark tunnels and staircases of the underground. Others waited with bated breath.

At the front stood the little boot girl and the Infernal Witch.

Turning toward the Infernal Witch, Zarian’s body and head lolled from side to side under Para’s playful manipulations. Para even moved the threads infused with his body, making his face twitch as he smiled.

“Congrats,” he said wheezily. “You’re the last evil aligned person in Central Bramblevale. What are you going to do?”

“Make noble bastards suffer,” said the Infernal Witch.

“Perfect! That’s the right answer.” Para slowly turned Zarian’s body toward the little boot girl. Then Para dipped him forward and pulled his limbs up. His head lolled to the girl’s eye level. “So, are you going to come to the Lovewar Mansion for free food and healing?”

“You’re scary. I should say no,” she said. “But if you do have free food and healing, then I don’t want to miss it. I’ll let some others know.”

“Good, good, good. If it helps, I’m using you guys to level up a friend of mine. He’s the healer with the free healing, and he’s almost at his first class advancement.”

The little boot girl nodded slowly. She examined his busted body.

“Yeah, I know. I need some healing for myself. But I’ll get there soon enough. Got a few errands to run. Later gators.”

“What gator?” the Infernal Witch asked.

Zarian laughed like a bloody lunatic before casting Void Step. Para’s massive spider legs moved in and out of the void, the air wrinkling as morning mist swirled about. The dawn sunbeams struggled to break through, but there was enough light to notice his shrouded form and giant spider carrier.

Immediately, a woman screamed. Then other women and men screamed as Para’s giant and bony spider legs strung along Zarian’s broken body.

He found Arnold of Ambrose around the corner. The White Rose of Serve Serf prepared to swing his liquid silver sword when he hesitated and looked closer at Zarian’s horrifying form.

“Lord Zarian Darkrun?” Arnold asked.

“I’m the one!” Zarian jiggered about on Para’s flesh strings, his limbs flopping painfully for comedic effect.

Arnold opened and closed his mouth repeatedly. His eyes were opened wider than Zarian had ever seen from the elderly man.

Some people might even think that Para had completely taken over Zarian and was the true personality behind the Darkrun body.

That was silly, of course.

Para was his friend.

Still, the reactions, high-pitched screaming, and overall panic were funny. The thick misty morning effect and gray blocky clouds added to the mood.

Zarian soaked it all in. Arnold was still trying to regain his composure and was frankly taking too long.

“Hey, so quick update, Bianca, my good +3 friend, went on an ill-advised genocide of the underground evil alignment,” Zarian said.

“Uh, yes, I’ve heard reports of such. I was working on the paperwork for the deaths of the leading guards at the time. I’m preparing to deal with the eventual backlash of Lady Bianca’s actions.” Arnold’s wrinkles deepened with his frustration.

Apparently, he was highly aware of bad things happening when the alignments went out of whack. It was a good thing he had a concerned adventurer like Zarian around.

“First, it’s Princess Bianca! And don’t worry! I had a chat with all the Evil Gods. Only two of them, Sinfeast and Killall, had problems. So I gave them the boot. The others won’t seek retribution.”

Arnold blinked and shook his head. “Good God Serveserf, bless me with patience. What did you do, my young lord?”

“I checked with The Dragon and he didn’t respond. Sickspread doesn’t want me to help the towns out west. Hint. Hint. Maybe something sick is spreading west. Other than that, I paid off Goldhound. Hisscreep is kind of cool. Sinfeast got the boot hardcore. I defeated two boons of Killall.”

“Two boons! You’ve defeated two boons of the most murdersome god!” Arnold was truly taken aback.

“Yup. Now don’t interrupt me. I was just going to say Shadowfell is chill and kind of lazy. She will not do much of anything other than cry because she feels like it. But I don’t think she’ll spread her corruption much here, so be glad that Central Bramblevale won’t be used as her Kleenex.”

Arnold slowly shook his head. “I’ll, uh, have to confirm this. Perhaps I can have an answer from my god if he’s willing to check with Hisscreep. The two of them have an odd but lasting relationship.”

Oh! So there’s more than one pairing between good and evil.

To Zarian, the pairing between Serveserf and Hisscreep sounded like two chummy but competitive old dudes with different philosophies. They would debate often while playing chess at the park that all the old dudes go to.

“If what you say is true, Lord Zarian, then you are to be commended even further for all you’ve done.” Arnold sighed. “And I owe you an apology.”

“Shove off with your apology! Instead, get a food drive going!”

“Food drive?” Arnold’s eyes glimmered.

“We’re going to feed as many beggars as we can. And give them free healing. All before we leave.”

“You’ll need the food to support such an effort. Yes. I see. Coming to me with this is perfect. I’ll have it done.”

The White Rose of Serveserf looked more animated and chipper now. After all, his god was the type who looked after the downtrodden and the poor. Who else was better at helping get a charity organized than Arnold?

“Sweet! I need to head off now. You should talk to Hannah and Gilbert at the mansion over the food drive beggar stuff. I’ll probably be unresponsive for a while. Oh, and one last thing before I forget. You know what Aura Ignition is? No, don’t answer. Of course you do. I want you to help Naomi with her Aura Ignition.”

Before Arnold could respond, Zarian cast Void Step once more. Para carried him through like a giant mutant spider.

They ended up behind the Lovewar Mansion and among the camped soldiers.The screaming, shouting, and attempts to take up arms started as expected.

Zarian cackled like a maniac as he dangled from Para’s strings. He threw out some villainous phrases while Para extended tentacles and slapped around soldiers here and there who tried to attack without recognizing who or what they were attacking.

“Stop it, you fools! That’s Lord Zarian and Lady Para!” shouted Roland of Wood.

“Hola!” Para said with a monstrous voice.

The soldiers settled down. But not by much. Not all of them were deeply familiar with Zarian, so the Uncanny Valley Effect was in play a little.

Roland stepped up while trying to hold in his fear and horror at Zarian and Para’s monstrous display.

“How may we assist you, milord?”

“Is everything prepared for our journey to North Crown Peak?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. You’ll be needed by Gilbert, Hannah, and Arnold of Ambrose soon for a charity.”

“A charity?”

“It’s when we do things for free for those who are less fortunate.”

“Why would anyone do such things?” Roland was flabbergasted.

“Because there are hidden benefits. And it’s fun.” Zarian chuckled. “Nobody can stop me from doing what I want, and what I want to do is have a charity. Are you going to stop me?”

Para maneuvered his strings until Zarian was dangled sideways, limbs all loose, head lolling. The bloody smile on Zarian’s face twitched with withering threads under the flesh.

“No, milord. I dare not stop you. Nor would any man.” Roland looked back at his noble soldiers.

They all shook their heads. Roland returned his gaze to the creeping horror that was the broken Madness Wizard and his transformed Parasite Cloak.

“Good, now if you excuse me, I’m going to have a quick chat with Lovewar in her chapel.” Zarian turned away.

Roland choked on air. So did some other soldiers. They should get that checked out. They were blabbering and sputtering, unable to say anything intelligible.

It almost sounded like they wanted to stop Zarian.

It was too late. Para squeezed into the chapel through the front entrance with Zarian in tow.

Immediately, Para hated being there. She was weaker. Zarian also felt weaker and more drained. His wounds sealed by arcane webbing throbbed with pain and leaked blood.

Little by little, Zarian and Para lowered to the floor. The divine power of the Lovewar Goddess flattened them.

“Lord Zarian! What are you doing here?” That was Head Acolyte Lora speaking. The young woman fretted over him. “Oh no, my lord, you can’t be here. Um, shall I help you out?”

“Nay.”

Zarian used his Parasitic Cloak to wrap up his limbs further. Together, Zarian and Para crawled through the front lobby of the chapel. They dragged their bloody body while the dungeon core remained bound to Zarian’s back by a few strands.

They passed through the threshold that led into the nave. There were no pews. Just a stone floor and an array of shiny weapons on the walls. At the front was a Grecian sofa, a pitcher of alcohol set on a stone block, and multiple weapons of war lay out in front of the altar.

“Yo, Lovewar!” Zarian called.

Good Goddess Lovewar responded with style.

Zarian heard the clashing of thousands of weapons meeting shields. He heard the shouts of countless men at war. There were the unified voices of many women singing stridently like amazons on a march. Then the powerful and energetic voice of Lovewar came through, sounding like an attractive tomboy:

“Darkrun! You’re a mess! You should’ve given me a heads up or I would’ve dialed back on the goodness. I had some annoying stuff going on up here in god land that had me distracted.”

The crushing pressure of the Lovewar Chapel faded. Zarian could breathe easier. Para reformed her spider legs, albeit smaller, and lifted Zarian up.

“I had a conversation with the evil gods. They were cool, unconcerned, or plain weird. I had to kick Sinfeast and Killall’s ass.”

“It’s always those two who get on my nerves the most. That and freaking Goldhound! Actually, I think I hate Goldhound the most! I swear I’ll kill him next time I catch him.”

“Yeah, cool, okay, if you want the deets on how it went down, talk to Shadowfell. She likes your presence even when you’re being pushy. She doesn’t mind as much as it seems.”

“What? Really? I can be a little much sometimes. But she’s the only one who feels like she’ll listen to me when I go off on my rants. I can get all descriptive about my conquests and the other gods aren’t as cool as her. But, yeah, if she actually doesn’t mind, I’ll go bug her more. Thanks! Also, I’ve noticed you and your party have been busy.”

Lovewar took a deep, climatic breath before saying, “My little brother of war, you are a hell of an adventurer.”

Zarian shivered at being called ‘little brother.’

He didn’t know how to respond to that. So he kept going as normal.

“Yeah, I know. We can talk more about it later. But I think I’m on the verge of dying from exhaustion and lack of vitality. Also, Sinfeast did some bad shit to my life energy before I gave him the boot.”

“I really need to know how that went down. I’m going to bug Shadowfell so hard.”

“Wait, wait, let’s stop getting sidetracked. I really have an important reason to be here. Answer me this. Are the good gods going to turn Bianca against me?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, thank you. I imagine you’ll give your disapproval, yes?”

“Of course! Anything beyond +3 at the newbie levels is ridiculous. She’s got plenty to make a difference. And that’s what I wanted when we did that push earlier. But now I can tell Purgehunt and the others are scheming, since they’re keeping me out. I don’t think Serveserf is involved or scheming much of anything. He’s always more of an outsider.”

“By the way, I don’t like the gods meddling too much.”

Lovewar sighed. “That’s just how it goes, little brother. You have your ways of getting to power. But we big, omniscient, and advanced beings have serious hook ups with the Star System. Once you trigger something we can influence, most of us will get involved, and you’re doing too many incredible things for us not to go in and tip the scales. All the gods are paying more attention to Corma than they usually would.”

Zarian imagined the gods were paying more attention because of him and his party. Maybe they’d truly done too much.

Lovewar continued: “I know that’s all frustrating. I found it frustrating too when I was on the come up. But do your time. Grind your way up. And maybe you’ll be the one who gets to mess with others far under you.”

“I’m guessing the only way to avoid your influence is to stay neutral,” Zarian said.

“Yeah, well, somewhat. Even then, we have our ways of influencing stuff even if we can’t get to neutral types directly. I know that sounds bad, but that’s how it is.”

Zarian held back a curse since he wanted to be polite with his good aligned benefactor. Lovewar was answering some important questions that he’d suspected already. Now he had her godly confirmation, which placed his paranoia and evil alignment in accord.

Incredibly, the good gods didn’t strike with Bianca when she’d led a genocide of the underground. But they might have leverage to meddle again later on.

I’ll deal with it when it becomes a problem.

At the very least, he wouldn’t be surprised.

“Okay, cool. The last thing I have to say is we’ll get the thing you want done through a proxy. Meanwhile, the Lovewar Acolytes here will be coming along with us.”

“Much appreciated. Once things pop off, my little girls in Bramblevale won’t be well prepared. At least not the ones with you. I have others who are more than prepared deeper in the Eternal Garden Kingdom. Again, you don’t have to involve yourselves any further. I just need that spark to light the fire.”

“Good to go. Now if you’ll excuse me … I’m literally dying of exhaustion.”

“Oh, yeah, that sucks! I’ve already used up my boons for you. But once you’re on your way out of Central Bramblevale, I’ll have boons reloaded. I’ll say this though. Don’t linger too long. Troublesome people are heading your way.”

“Let them come.” Zarian cast Void Step, and the spell failed.

“Sorry, bud. You’re going to have to cast that outside.”

“I do all I can for you, Lovewar, and this is how you treat me? You do know I’m Shadowfell’s first friend, right? I have a major influence with her. She’ll cry if she knows how you’ve mistreated me.”

“Wait, come on, all you gotta do is go outside.”

“Oh, Shadowfell! Lovewar has been so cruel!”

“Hey, fine, here, little brother. I’ll open up a little for you. Dang cretin.”

Zarian cast Void Step again and succeeded. He crashed into the kitchen. There was screaming. He reigned in all of his abilities and overt power to keep from giving the acolytes heart attacks.

Thankfully, none of them fell over and died. They might even get levels out of the experience.

There was more shouting. He vaguely recognized Gilbert’s voice and felt a healing force enter his body. He recognized other vague shapes. The closest looked like Naomi.

Zarian felt a little worried. What if she thought he’d gone off and done something dumb to nearly get killed again?

I should really stop doing this dramatic near death stuff.

Maybe he would learn to stop after a well-deserved rest.