Orochimama

Tayuya scowled as yet another hour passed without Orochitama's special guest arriving. People were pouring into the fair in droves and it took all her concentration to check every single one of them from afar to make sure none of them were the one she was looking for. That's not even taking into account that most of the people coming in were ninja that were under illusions and practical disguises. It was annoying as fuck.

She'd already be giving it up if the Boss Lady hadn't made sure to-

Wait.

Was that the fucker?

She narrowed her eyes and saw the blonde kid from wave running in with with a short brown-haired child that bounced in place with a dumb look on his face.

It was exactly like the illusion that the Boss gave her. So, she made her approach.

"I told you it would work, Konohamaru! My Shadow Clone should be inside saving us a seat, so we just slip in right when the show starts and we're golden!"

"You're so smart Boss!" The kid gushed.

Ugh. Still. Neither kid had even the barest amounts of awareness as she approached. First she placed the the typical pamphlet into the blond's pocket that they tried to slip into everyone's pockets that gave coupons. Then she approached the other kid, in full view of every ninja watching and on alert, and slipped the package into his pocket before walking on her way. Not a single person seemed to react besides a few ninja's giving a chuckle.

Most experienced ninja's favorite part of the fair was watching all the chumps get reverse pickpocketed and they'd been trying to do it with almost everyone. Academy Students and Gennin in particular. All for this one moment and not a single person seemed to notice.

"At least we know one thing is going to go right." She muttered before moving on her way. She had a success to report.

xxxxx

I had to jinx myself; I wasn't sure when exactly I managed to do it, but clearly I did. I didn't see any other reason for Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame to pop in on my little side project here. They didn't seriously hunt Orochimaru in the original and I wasn't sure what changed enough for them to come. Something I changed caused this. Some information that they managed to-

Fuck, it was Danzo wasn't it?

Some information leaked to them that made them think I was a more pressing priority and Danzo was looking to get rid of me. One problem takes care of another. Seemed his style.

Though, as I watched, a second Naruto and Konohamaru walked in and a victorious smile came to my lips.

"Orochitama-sama. Mission accomplished." Tayuya stated as she approached and gave a slight bow.

My smile grew even more predatory. "Excellent job, Tayuya-chan. Help with the packing up and start slipping the people that you can out of the fair."

"Sure thing Boss Lady."

So what if Itachi and Kisame were here? Sure, it was doubtful if I could beat one of them, much less both at once, but I didn't need to. If Danzo could solve one problem with another problem, so could I. Now, there was just one more wild card.

"Now, where is Jiraiya?" I muttered, studying the crowd to no effect. Either he was being particularly sneaky, or he wasn't in the big top, even as the starting music began to play. He was a dangerous one to be off my radar right now, and more than that... "Darn. I thought he'd like Episode VI."

Still, I had to get dressed. I was going to make my debuted to the world and I had to be properly attired.

xxxx

Itachi had to admit that, if nothing else, the story was unique. Not that Itachi had particularly seen many plays, but he'd heard of a fair number of them. Shisui liked them and would talk about them often enough. The music was unique, if a bit loud for his tastes. Though many of the elements were familiar.

Infiltration of the enemy's stronghold with a three layered plan with two of those plans failing and the last desperate attempt being what gets everyone out alive as a cascade of errors ruins all your previous plans.

It was very relatable to any experienced ninja; such missions ended up happening eventually.

"You told me Darth Vader betrayed and murdered my father."

Itachi sat up taller. The villain was the main character's father?

"So what I told you was true...from a certain point of view."

Kisame scoffed beside him. Itachi ignored for the moment as began to analyze what was being said closer.

"Luke you're going to find that many truths that we cling to depend greatly on your point of view." The actor said.

The basis of high end genjutsu. The thing that held most genjutsu users back was their thoughts that the art was but illusion existing only in the mind. But reality itself was subjective. Rare to see such insight put on display in mere entertainment.

Thus the play went on, with Itachi categorizing and filing away what was being said. Was this meant as some form of advice for ninja but put in a story form for easy digestion? He could already see the threads of committing one's duty being woven into the story. Luke did not wish to kill his father, but his duty bound him. He would need to for peace to come.

He tried to go about it in a way that was against his teacher's methods and found himself disarmed and before both the Emperor and his father. His kind heart got him into trouble, a lesson that came too late for many. Even as he was made to fight his father or die, he held back. He refrained.

"Yes. Your thoughts betray you. You're feelings for them are strong. Especially for...sister." Vader said with a low satisfied hiss.

And the fight changed. Luke went on the attack. To defend his friends and family. To defend the cause, he'd kill even-

"Never." Luke said as he stopped and threw away his weapon.

Itachi blinked in confusion. That...wasn't how this was supposed to go.

Then he watched, as Luke stood before the symbol of hatred and spoke of his mercy and forgiveness as a strength. How he had won just for refusing to take his father's life. That even if it would put his friends and sibling in danger, that he wouldn't resort to hatred.

Then, Luke suffered. Crackling lighting poured out from the Emperor's hands as he tortured Luke, making it clear that he would either submit to the Dark Side, or he'd die. But he stuck by his principles.

Then Itachi saw it. It was meant to point out the futility of such a gesture. Darker than he expected from the play, but it still fell in line with-

Vader seized the Emperor by the back of his neck, held the man over his head and threw him down the nearby hole.

However, in the act of throwing him, the lighting arced into Vader. The devices that seemed to keep him alive began to release smoke and the once menacing sound of his breaths came out as high pitched mechanical whines. Luke dragged his father away slowly, trying to save him. Desperate to get out in time and help the one that had caused so much pain. The man who was the villain, in his last moments, asked to see his son without the mask he put on that separated him from the rest of the world.

"I'll not leave you here! I have to save you!"

"You already have."

Itachi's heart clinched and he gave sharp intake of breath through his nose. Too much. A lapse in his composure.

The rest of the play blurred past. Celebrations. Small talk. Completion of the romance arc for two other characters. Inconsequential things. The meat of the matter already happened. The play promoted forgiveness. Love, not might, won the day.

Sasuke saw this. Would it influence him? Would he refuse to do what Itachi needed to have him do? The questions began to spiral in his head as he wondered how to address this, or even if he should. He questioned if all of this was meant for Itachi to see it and inspire these questions. Was this an attack against him and his plans? But how would Orochimaru know?

There were so many question, but the one he tried hardest to not think about kept returning to him.

Would things have turned out differently if he'd been honest and acted in love towards his father and refused Danzo's orders?

xxxx

Hatake Kakashi had to admit that, despite Naruto committing surprise treason by bringing Konohamaru here despite direct orders from the Hokage, this show, the whole series, had been quite enjoyable. The message was one that would resonate with his cute little Gennin. The fact that, on top of this, Orochitama was hanging around somewhere didn't even dull it that much. He agreed with the message this was putting out into the shinobi world and he had to question why the hell Orochitama of all people would be putting it out.

Unless...this was a call for forgiveness?

His mind raced as the play ended and, rather than all the actors coming out for a bow, the lights dimmed. A male voice announced "And now, the chance to speak with the creator of the series!"

The crowd muttered. A deep base drum beat thudded through the crowd.

*Thud*

*Thud Thud*

Distant strings picked up. Softly at first, but slowly becoming louder and louder.

*Thud*

*Thud Thud*

The tension built as a vocal choir built up along with the music now. Though, Kakashi noted, it was through the seals used as sound effects earlier rather than the live band, which seemed to make their exit. Naruto's friend, the Kazekage's son left too.

The sound of some large animal roaring built in with the music as it began to reach a crescendo. This was a real. This was something big.

No. She wouldn't.

In the heart of hundreds of enemy shinobi? On the doorstep to the village she was a traitor of?

The music came to a climax and abruptly cut off.

"Ara ara. What a fine audience we have tonight." A familiar voice purred.

Kakashi bolted upright and shifted to stand in front of his students.

"Is that-" Sasuke started.

"Why is she here?" Sakura asked in disbelief.

A single spotlight snapped on with a pop, illuminating the woman. The pale woman wore a vibrant red jacket decorated with an intricate golden pattern and a black trim. The jacket hung behind her with twin tails over her black trousers.

A top hat sat on her head at an angle, concealing her face, but he recognized her anyways.

"Ladies and gentleman. Boys and girls. Children of all ages!" She announced gleefully as all around the room ninja began to shoot to their feet and let out gasps of shock. "I hope you enjoyed the greatest show on Earth! I have a few things to say, so put a weapon in your hand if it makes you feel more comfortable!"

All at once, hundreds of ninja held blades at the ready and pointed at the heart of the woman on stage. The woman's smile only grew wider.

"Heya Orochi Lady!" Naruto called out happily, if cautiously.

God damnit Naruto.

Orochitama, in response, winked at his blond knucklehead with her barely visible eyes. The embodiment of a stress induced ulcer then reached up to her head, grabbed the brim of the top hat.

"Now that the play has reached its end, I welcome you to the beginning." With a flourish she pulled the top hat off her head and proudly proclaimed, "The beginning of the end of the Shinobi World."

This wasn't good. This was something that built up to an attack. He didn't like where this was headed.

"Get Konohamaru out of here." He hissed to his team. "All of you."

"What? But it's just-"

"That's an order Naruto." He cut in. The blond looked conflicted, but he didn't fight it. Not surprising, he could sense how much the boy got upset the moment Orochitama declared the end of the Shinobi World.

The four left quickly and quietly while Kakashi gripped his kunai tight. The sad thing was, she probably could kill most of them by herself. Orochitama was just that strong. He could only hope the ninja with her weren't outside waiting to ambush his team as they left.

The snake woman on stage didn't seem to mind people leaving. Children, civilians, and many ninja that decided this was above their paygrade began rushing out of the tent.

Kakashi couldn't decide if her letting them leave was a good sign or a bad one.

"The Shinobi World has gone on too long in it's current state. Change is on the horizon and I plan to usher it in. Because if I don't, others will. Like Akatsuki plans to. Isn't that right, Uchiha Itachi?" She asked and Kakashi's blood ran cold.

The only thing he could comfort himself with was that Sasuke had already left.

Kakashi slowly turned to look behind him, as two figures at the back slowly came to rise. Their wide straw hats tilting up to reveal not just Uchiha Itachi, but Hoshigaki Kisame as well.

Three S-Classed ninjas. Here. At the same time.

"Orochimaru." Itachi intoned, "I don't know-"

"Orochitama now, actually, Itachi-kun." The woman corrected as she flipped the top hat and rolled it along her arm then bumped it with her shoulder to toss it up on top her head. "And, please, stay quiet for the moment. The adults are talking."

They were all going to die.

"Now, as I was saying-"

There was a blur and a tremendous crack sounded through the air as the giant form of Kisame was suddenly above Orochitama. The stage under the woman had cracked and a sword sticking out of her mouth was the only thing that stopped the massive weapon of the Mist Ninja from smashing into her.

The woman's mouth opened wider and she took the hilt of the sword into her hand as she commented, "That was rude."

"Heh, sorry. You seemed so happy to give the speech, I couldn't help but ruin it." The fish man stated smugly.

"No appreciation for art." The woman tutted before the sword in her hand suddenly extended rapidly, driving the former Mist ninja back and away until he punctured a hole in the tent and left sight.

The hole began to let in sand and the sounds of howling wind.

"Now, as I was-" Orochitama started, only for her to suddenly snap a hand to the side and catch the wrist of of an invisible form that slowly consolidated into Itachi. "Oh hush now darling. You'll want to hear what I have to say."

"About your nonsense on the end of the Shinobi World?" The terrifying teenager intoned.

"Exactly!" Orochitama said, clapping her hands together as she let go of his wrist as if she were an excited housewife. "I've put quite a few things in motion and I think you will all want at least one tinsy little hint on what to expect."

Itachi paused. An enemy offering intel was always valuable. Especially in regards to people like Orochimaru and Orochitama, who could have things happen for years after they die. Itachi didn't continue to attack.

"Thank you. Now! the first step to my plan will happen during the final stage of the Chunin Exams! A great time for it, I know. Keep a close eye on things and you'll see...quite the change in the political landscape of the Elemental Nations. Like Kage titles changing hands." She continued in a vapid and light tone. As if she hadn't just implied that she was going to kill a Kage. Considering the exam was at Konoha, probably the Hokage.

The room tensed. The various ninja of the different nations clearly not sure who they should be helping and who they should be attacking. Especially since, technically, she could have just been threatening any of their Kage as well.

Then, Kisame came back into the tent, hacking and coughing.

"I hate sand! It gets everywhere!" The swordsman groused as he wiped at the slits on his cheeks that looked rather like gills.

"And why shouldn't we cancel the exam? Or kick Sound out of it?" Kakashi surprised himself by saying. Though, the more he thought on it, the more sure he was that Orochitama didn't intend on doing anything. At least not here. Not now. This was distraction or a warning to something greater. He wasn't sure what yet, but the woman's sense of drama alone would make her wait to act.

"Oh don't do that, Kakashi-kun." The woman's lips pushed out in a pout. "That would be very upsetting to me. And you wouldn't want to upset me, would you?" She asked in a manner inappropriate for children to be present.

Thankfully, there weren't, though all the eyes in the room turned a questioning gaze at him.

Not this again!

"Regardless, I'm not sure why you are all so concerned about me, and not Itachi-kun's little club that plans on gathering all the tailed beasts of every nation into one giant weapon that all the nations together would not be able to oppose."

The room went silent except for the sound of of wind blustering outside.

"Well fuck," Kisame said scratching his head, "I didn't expect her to just say it."

She'd already mentioned it to him previously, so Kakashi wasn't particularly surprised, but to just say that right now?

She was trying to turn the crowd to seeing Akatsuki as the more pressing threat right after saying she intended to destroy the world. The gall was impressive.

"Now, Itachi-kun. You have two choices. You and your partner can fight me. I won't fight to win. I'll fight to tire you out. I'll fight to make you tired and weak after we are done. You can both certainly take me, but can you take me and then all the ninja around us ready to capitalize on your weakened state?" The woman added.

All the ninja exchanged glances in the room. Everyone not an S-Class ninja didn't particular care for that idea, but the opportunity to take down threats this big also couldn't be ignored.

"Then what do you propose?" The Uchiha intoned dryly.

"Easy! We both go our separate ways now, and kill each other another day. They'll chase us both and fail doing so. Simple!"

He hated that she was probably right.

Well, she'd be right were it not for one thing she didn't know yet.

Still, the room was tense as all the ninja present began doing the math. Began calculating who they planned to attack first when things went down.

"Kisame." Itachi stated, raising his voice and the seventeen year old made the whole room of killers flinch. "We're leaving."

"Kek. That's no fun." The Mist ninja stated, though he placed his sword on his back and the two began to walk towards the hole in the tent. "We'll have to dance later it seems, Snake Bitch."

"I'll get myself all ready for your biiiig sword next time." Orochitama practically moaned and Kisame stopped in his tracks.

"Huh." Was all the man said before resuming his stride.

When Kakashi shifted his gaze back to the stage, Orochitama was gone as well. The various ninja in the tent stood awkwardly for a few moments before slowly coming out of their ready stances. All of them processing what happened and coming to the realization that they had a shit ton of paper in their future.

Kakashi drooped in weariness as he realized that Sasuke would likely find out as well and he'd have to deal with that.

"Take a vacation Kakashi. You need to have a chance to relax Kakashi." He mocked under his breath. "Some vacation."

xxxxxx

Orochitama made a dash for it. Though not in a straight line, obviously. She ducked through the various stalls and hopped over walls in the fair as she made her escape before reaching the forest heading away from the village.

That went about as well as she could possibly have expected! Plus it gave her the chance to air some of Akatsuki's dirty laundry. An all around win in every category! She was lucky Itachi let her talk so much. Still, best not to stick around.

I took a little path I had discovered long ago and would use whenever I needed to slip away from Konoha to do...well the things that Orochimaru did. I'd never told anyone about it so the chances of someone-

The broad form of a man with a mop of stark white hair sailed through the air in a blur and I barely managed to pull myself out of the way as the ground cracked and shapnel flew through the air. A fist flew at my face and I dodged out of the way, only for a massive force to still smash into my face and send me tumbling through two trees. The Snake Skin Body broken apart as it's mouth opened and I stepped out it, unharmed.

Unharmed but very scared.

"Jiraiya-kun. Shima-chan. Fukasaku-kun. What an unexpected surprise." I commented as I beheld the sight of Jiraiya with the two Toad Sage's on his shoulders and the lines and warts of his Sage Mode clear on his face.

"Orochimaru." The man growled. "I've seen through your plans. You're not going to catch me by surprise."

Fear gripped me. A Jiraiya in sage mode was something I wasn't sure I could handle. Ever since I became...well, me, I hadn't fought anything like him. I'd very specifically made sure to avoid encountering people like him. Though there was a pressing question that did need to be asked.

"Jiraiya...what the fuck are you talking about?"

xxxxx