[OreGaIru : New Me!]

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[-Continuation-]

[-After Some Time-]

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[Hachiman's POV]

"...*cough…" I fake-coughed my throat in an attempt to get her attention.

"...what is it?" Yukinoshita looked at my side from her book and asked in a slightly irritated tone, probably again due to my stares up until now.

"....*ahem, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with Ms. Hiratsuka earlier, and I wanted to ask... Did I really come across as judgmental?" I was genuinely curious.

"..." She simply raised an eyebrow at me, suggesting that she was not entirely convinced by my innocence, her piercing blue eyes meeting mine with a hint of surprise and anger. 

There was also a flicker of annoyance in her expression, as if she found my interruption irksome.

Chill out, women. Can't a guy make a mistake?

I messed up my first impression, for sure.

I thought I had a handle on things, believing I could control my thoughts and avoid giving off any wrong impressions.

However, it seems my attempt to express 'curiosity' might have come across as judgmental instead.

"Okay. I get it. I get it. No need to get worked up…" I interjected, hoping to ease the tension with a casual wave of my hand.

Shifting gears, I forged ahead. "So, regarding your response..."

Did I actually receive one? I don't know. 

Well, given the entire mess, I guess I did, in a sense.

I should just take that as a 'Yes' based on my own judgement.

"And it seems I did come across as a jerk, which, by the way, was not my intention." I clarified, aiming to clear my stance.

Continuing on, I offered my apology. "So, all I can say is that I am sorry if I caused any trouble."

".." Yukinoshita's eyes were fixated on me as I calmly explained my side of the story. 

However, I caught a faint tremor in her gaze, hinting that my words might be affecting her more than she let on.

Her response was cutting, and her words were sharp with criticism. "Shockingly, it seems you are not as dense and an ignorant fool as you appear to be."

She didn't stop there, though. "Still, I would have preferred a more sincere apology. But I guess I can't expect anything more."

God, this girl. She really doesn't have any filters, doesn't she?

I couldn't help but roll my eyes internally.

"Oh, I am glad to hear that." Ignoring her later comments, I replied sarcastically.

"…" - "..."

Our conversation came to an end, and we left the room once again in silence.

But it didn't remain the same for too long, as Yukinoshita took the initiative to point out. "You don't strike me as someone who cares about others' opinions."

"I don't, truly." I replied, affirming her guess, and added. "And I could say the same about you. So why do you care what I think of you?"

I don't know at that time, but those words of mine stuck in her mind deeper and more impactfully than I could have ever imagined.

Yukinoshita shifted the topic of discussion, hiding the disturbance my statement caused her. "...You seemed to be pretty alright with everything Ms. Hiratsuka said."

"I am not exactly alright. But I have to make do with it, I guess." I gave an honest reply, as I was unable to see through her facecad.

Not like if I were to protest, smoothing gonna change.

"I suppose so." She mused, leaving the conversation hanging in the air.

Changing the subject, I glanced around the cluttered classroom. "Is this the Service Club?"

"...that's right." Though surprised inwardly by my correct assumption, Yukinoshita answered.

"*nod…" I simply nodded in return.

"Are there any other members besides us?" I inquired, already considering myself a member of the club.

"No, there aren't."

"Ah, doesn't that make me the Vice President of the club by default then?" With my chin held up, I spoke proudly.

I am not sure why, but I really liked that title.

Umm? Vice President….t-that sounds so damn cool!

But to begin with, does a position like Vice President even exist? 

Who cares? 

I like it, so I will simply make one for myself.

"What gave you the idea? Do you think I would give such honor to someone as incompetent and lousy as you?" Yukinoshita revoked it immediately, showing clear dissatisfaction with my declaration.

She continued. "Is this the reason Ms. Hiratsuka brought you here? You truly are as self-centered, ignorant, and overconfident as she listed you to be. And I must now add one more to the list: narcissistic."

"You're spot on. I am narcissistic. But to be fair, in some manner or another, everyone in this world is. They just refuse to admit it."

"Spare me. 'Everyone in the world…' is such a defensive statement that people typically use when their arguments lack substance."

"What! Surprised? I have only recently learned how to use it effectively."

"How shameless of you to accept without a hint of hesitation."

"I would argue there is no shame in being honest, especially when the cat's already out of the bag."

"....well, Hikigaya, since you are being honest, then I must inquire, what exactly led you to be dragged here by Ms. Hiratsuka? Because, as unconvincing as it may sound, I don't think you lack the ability and qualification to have a normal conversation. In addition, your appearance is not something that is totally unapproachable, and you seem capable of handling various situations with calmness."

This time, it was me who found myself taken aback by her unexpected initiative in the conversation. However, I couldn't help but think– 

Come on, can't you be a little more appreciative? I mean, I put in a considerable amount of effort and faced many challenges to get over many things, which I could have easily sidestepped if I had no desire for change. 

Particularly my rotten eyes. On second thought, I suppose it wasn't all that difficult, as I didn't always have them. Presumably, I developed them somewhere in middle school, where all my trauma accumulated, leading to the avoidant attitude.

But again, after receiving a slightly positive assessment from Yukinoshita Yukino, even after the initial slip-up I made, I think it's all worth it.

"Oh, I will take that as a compliment. And yeah, first and foremost, I don't have any problem…" 

Taking this chance, I went on and revealed the context of the essay I have written….

Only to hear : "All I see is a loner nagging at others because he is envious of what they possess, rather than taking the initiative to attain it for himself."

"You think I don't know that?" 

Reflecting on my past experiences, I realized that, while my perspectives may not be entirely accurate, they are not entirely false either.

Confronting the bitter truth, I acknowledged that my slightly exaggerated views stemmed from jealousy toward those seemingly relishing in their youth.

I understood that embracing youth often entails ignoring the very criticisms I was voicing.

However, I couldn't concede that they were entirely baseless.

I am the type to only believe it when I experience it myself.

And this is my desperate attempt to find the 'Joy' in my 'Youth', which will make me ignore those points. I just hope I can find it here.

Yukinoshita's intense stare pierced through me, her words cutting like shards of ice. "You are not denying this, are you? No wonder they brought you here. Are you some sort of terrorist posing as a student? Your beliefs and principles are so twisted."

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[Third Person View]

It was unlike Yukinoshita to question someone's choices so harshly.

She was typically one to respect individual choices, viewing them as a fundamental right for every person. She usually wouldn't bat an eye if someone's ideals didn't align with hers – it just wasn't her style to get worked up over differences.

Instead, she would be more fixated on proving the validity of her own path than proving the falsehood of other paths.

But she can't seem to apply the same concept to this person named Hachiman Hikigaya. Something about him seemed to throw her off her game.

His nonchalant way of agreeing with his flaws, and even resonating with them, none of it didn't sit right with her. She felt like his existence alone was a threat to the truth she believed and relied on to navigate her life thus far.

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[Hachiman's POV]

I felt a surge of anger rise within me at her accusation. "What? What's wrong with calling out a fool for their foolishness? If anything, I should be applauded for daring to expose the truth behind 'youthful indiscretion' based on my own experiences."

"Personal experience… Hikigaya. How many times did you get rejected in your confessions for you to claim-youth-as-evil?" 

Her question was irrelevant, yet it struck a nerve, somehow managing to awaken a distant and recently abandoned memory within me. 

It was like poking a sleeping bear – an unnecessary and uncomfortable deleted scene from my life. 

I mean, confessing was about as common for me as spotting a unicorn in downtown Tokyo.

"Let's just say that I had my fair share of setbacks in my life in 'that' particular genre, and I would rather not revisit that chapter of my life again." I explained using as few words as possible.

After a pause, Yukinoshita nodded in acknowledgment, her demeanor softening ever so slightly. 

"I understand." She replied back to her usual calm self.

"Anyway, the fact that joining my club is viewed as a form of punishment still troubles me, but it can't be helped, I guess." Yukinoshita remarked, rising from her seat. 

With her gaze directed downward at me, she continued. "Welcome to the Service Club. I invite you."

Her proclamation echoed through the room, carrying an air of authority.

"According to Ms. Hiratsuka, it is the duty of those who are superior to save those who lead a pitiable existence." 

"I will ensure that I fulfil this responsibility and address your issue. Show some gratitude." She finished standing there with her arms folded, undoubtedly spelled with an aura of nobility.

In a mischievous move, I also stood up, mimicking her posture with a touch of humor. "I beseech your gracious presence, Majesty Yukinoshita Yukino. Please allow me to endeavor my modest part in your Noblesse Oblige and amend the sins of this lowly commoner." 

"..." On the other hand, Yukinoshita glared at me as if to say - 'Why are you even alive? - while her cheeks dyed a light pinkish hue.

"..." - "..."

Soon, silence descended upon the room, with me standing in an awkward position – enough to make my ears and legs hurt.

I couldn't help but notice Yukinoshita's valiant effort to maintain her composure, resisting the urge to crack a smile.

It was clear she was trying her utmost best.

And honestly, I was rooting for her... sort of.

Undoubtedly, to say I am not interested in seeing her lips curve would be an understatement. I was itching to deliver another one-liner or even more cringe dialogue, but my instincts warned me that doing so would put my life in possible danger.

So the silence only deepened as we both stood. 

"Yukinoshita. I am coming in." However, the silence was soon shattered as the door was violently pulled open with a resounding clatter.

"I told you to knock…" - "Were you spying on us?" Yukinoshita and I flaunted Ms. Hiratsuka at the same time.

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[To be continued….]

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