[OreGaIru : New Me!]

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[-Continuation-]

[-Time Skip-]

[-After Three Months-]

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[Hikigaya Hachiman's POV]

In my room, I found myself face-to-face with my father's retired laptop, a relic from his past that he no longer used or can be used…

Seriously, this thing looked like it had time-travelled from the '90s.

As I tentatively ran my fingers over the stiff keyboard, a thought crossed my mind – perhaps I should sell it to make some extra cash?

However, a flood of memories intervened as I recalled my dad's mushy stories about how this was his first-ever laptop, bought with his first salary.

The guy practically serenaded this laptop with sentimental tunes. It was practically his first love. If I dared to part ways with it, I might as well start packing my bags because eviction was inevitable.

This again reminded me of how low my status as the only son in this family is…how cruel?

"That's ¥30,000 yen, I suppose…" I murmured to myself as I glanced at the remaining balance in my bank account after a recent shopping spree.

My eyes then wandered to the bottom right corner of the laptop screen, and I noticed the time displayed, [04:00] PM.

Komichi should be returning home soon.

….should I prepare something like an evening snack for both of us? The thought crossed my mind.

After a moment, I decided it was a good plan. With a gentle click, I closed the laptop and saved my progress, then I powered it off and made my way to the kitchen.

While I gathered ingredients and pondered what Komichi might enjoy, I reflected on how long it had been since I was last at school.

Since the accident, three months have passed.

So that also means it has been three months since I stopped attending school.

The accident happened in early January, right into the first day of the third term. It forced me to stay in the hospital for one and a half weeks, and then I had to spend an additional two weeks in rehabilitation at home.

In a typical scenario, I should have returned to school by February's end.

But my situation was anything but typical. I somehow managed to complete the last term of my first year from the comfort of my home, completely avoiding classes and only attending the Year-End Examinations.

My excuse? 

I cited mental trauma from a supposed accident and took medical leave. 

Of course, it was all a lie.

And I have to admit, being at home was a welcome change. Having the luxury of not worrying about anything was incredibly enjoyable.

No early morning alarms or looming homework deadlines - just me and my solitude.

It was a much-needed break after the grueling two weeks spent in rehabilitation following my accident.

At least the two weeks spent on rehabilitation, as the later part was a completely different story. 

I was far from free.

So, hey, don't get it twisted. I wasn't slacking off during my break. Nope, I kept myself busy with some worthwhile stuff.

Now, you might be wondering what I did to be so confident, and I will spill the beans on that in a bit.

For now, despite all my complaining, I enjoyed everything and every bit so much, and I now feel somewhat disgruntled about the idea of going back to my life as a second-year high school student after the spring break.

…well, there is still a week, I guess.

Everything will be different now, and it definitely won't be the same as in my first year.

Convincingly, the time I spent in the hospital bed with my leg hanging itself helped me give myself a lot of time to concentrate and sort out my thoughts properly from whatever hazy recollection I could.

But, no matter what, I couldn't remember anything past the things I already knew. I mean, I can go deeper and more detailed than before about the experiences I have had on the first day, but I cannot get into anything new. Especially my own personal details, which are, like, crazily foggy.

In the end, I gave up on trying to recollect my past-life personal details. To be honest, I even preferred it that way. But my curiosity got the better of me, and I attempted to jog my memory.

Fortunately(:or unfortunately), I failed. 

And, since I was unable to recall those personal details, I abandoned the idea of ever trying again.

Instead, I directed my attention towards the show that depicted the world I currently reside in. However, this was only a partially successful attempt. I only managed to retain some key events, a couple of plotlines, and the characteristics and personalities of a handful of the main characters from 'SNAFU.'

Following this realization, I was soon discharged from the hospital and found myself back in the familiar surroundings of my childhood home. 

Nonetheless, something was different this time. 

I carried with me extra memories from my past life, giving me a new perspective on everything I had done and all the decisions I had made.

From that point on, self-reflection became a constant practice for me. I revisited every event that had shaped me since childhood and led me to become the person I am today.

I understood that my preference for isolation & lack of interest in social interactions, my resistance to conforming to societal norms & expectations, my inability to make any friends, my lack of empathy, my undiplomatic communication skills, and my highly cynical and pessimistic view of the world were all characteristics and behaviors that led to my current outcast status.

Somehow, these traits were not inherent to who I was as a child but rather something I have developed as a defense mechanism from a fear of being hurt emotionally for no particular reason.

All that bullying during elementary school, under the disguise of a simple activity of making fun of my name, and many more from my fellow peers have accumulated, disturbing my confidence and slowly contributing to my guarded and solitary nature.

I couldn't blame them entirely, though. Despite the trauma they caused, I understood that they were just kids themselves, acting out in their own ways.

So. I don't blame them.

….well, at least not entirely.

I wasn't exactly a saint in figuring them out as just ignorant kids.

I simply chose not to hold them accountable and hoped that I wouldn't do anything if our paths ever crossed again. At least, that's what I told myself.

First and foremost, I decided to accept every humiliation and rejection I had suffered up until then with a pinch of salt.

I began looking at them differently and gradually became indifferent toward those incidents. My focus shifted towards increasing my self-confidence and eliminating self-doubt from within me.

Despite all these changes, my ideals remained the same, albeit with a newfound maturity.

…and maybe a little less grumpy and less lazy too.

In all of this, if there was one thing I was truly proud of accomplishing since my accident, it was successfully overcoming my trauma.

Particularly my Low Self-Esteem.

Yeah. Now I am cool, and I KNOW it.

Through hard work and introspection, I learned to understand my own worth and embrace who I am.

My newfound confidence within me was not solely attributed to the transformation in my attitude and physical appearance, but also because of the money I had cashed in and planned to continue earning in the future.

After spending a week …..

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[To be continued….]

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