Of Men and Spiders

Cleo was laughing as Scott described his initial meeting with Charlotte's people. "You can't be serious! You called them a bunch of primitive bugs? To their face?!? And you're supposed to be representing humanity out there?"

Scott rolled his eyes. "No, I didn't call them primitive bugs. I said some people might perceive them that way. And it was only in response to the one that called humans nothing but a bunch of 'smart beasts,' implying we were beneath their notice. I didn't want to be too insulting, but I didn't want to look like we'd be happy to be walked all over, either! Besides, it was just one of them. Honestly, she kind of reminded me of my old grammar teacher, 'Doctor' Fizz. I swear that woman was never happy unless she was telling us how educated she was or explaining how we failed to live up to her standards! Still, once you figured out how to work with her, it was an easy enough class to pass. Maybe I just need to figure out what makes her tic..."

Cleo looked amused. "Ohhh, is that her name now? Fizz?"

Scott laughed and shook his head. "No! I'm not going to name some grumpy alien after my old grammar teacher! That's a terrible idea!"

That was when Charlotte leaned in to interrupt. "Cleo might be right, though; giving them names would probably make meetings easier for you going forward. Although, if you wanted to name them after their characteristics, I remember Alice telling me a story about a girl raised by seven miners who each had names based on their personalities..."

The snort at the other end of the table drew Scott's attention back to Cleo, whose eyes were positively bulging as she tried to cover her laughter. "Oh my god, YES! Please name them after the seven dwarves! We already know which one's grumpy!"

The idea did make Scott chuckle, but he shook his head. "Short-term, that might be fun, but long-term, I imagine that could cause some...diplomatic issues. Your first idea was better."

Cleo rolled her eyes. "Ugh, you're no fun! But fine, we can go back to calling her Fizz. Even if she learns you didn't like the teacher, being named after an educator has some good implications, right?"

Scott looked to Charlotte for salvation, but she seemed to be nodding. "Yes, I think that would be an acceptable name."

Scott shook his head. "Great. Now, every time I remember her name, I get to relive traumas from my past... Still, maybe it'll remind me to stay on my guard around her. That could be handy."

Alice, who'd finished getting her own food and joined them at the table, looked interested. "Oh, Oh, are we naming the She?"

Scott nodded. "Apparently so. Well, not all of them, just the ones I'm meeting with."

Cleo grinned like this was one of the best games she'd played in a long time. "Now, what are we going to name the friendly one?"

Alice decided to offer her own idea. "We could name her Dot!"

Scott rolled his eyes. "I doubt a being who's lived for..." Then he looked over at Charlotte. "Hey, just how long has she lived for? The one that was to my right?"

Charlotte looked away momentarily, probably speaking with the one in question, before turning back to Scott. "She has been alive for approximately one-thousand-seven-hundred years, so She is relatively young by our standards."

Cleo coughed out some of what she'd been drinking. "One thousand seven hundred is young? How old are you?"

Charlotte looked over at Cleo. "I thought it was inappropriate for a human to ask someone their age?"

Scott laughed. "But you just asked 'Dot' how old she was!"

As she turned to Scott, the boy could almost feel the mischievous aura the giant alien spider woman exuded. "But I am not human."

Alice meanwhile cheered. "So we are calling her Dot!"

Not wanting to disappoint his sister, Scott felt a little torn. "I don't know, it still feels kinda...odd. It feels more like a name for a pet than a person..."

Cleo wasn't going to be so easily dissuaded. "You could call her Dotty... Or Dot for short!"

Alice seemed more than a little pleased as she danced around while singing. "Dotty, Dotty, Dot Dot! Dotty, Dotty, Dot Dot!"

Scott wondered if he'd get to name any of the aliens or if Alice and Cleo would simply steamroll over all his thoughts on the subject.

-

Charlotte watched as Scott, Alice, and Cleo squabbled over names for the other. A portion of her thoughts was directed more at her own recent revelations. Returning to her people had taught her a somewhat surprising lesson. Though She remained loyal to the betterment of the She during the council meeting and again later in the smaller meeting with Scott and the other She, Charlotte realized She felt more attachment to Scott and Alice than to any of her own people.

Looking back, it was kind of obvious. She'd already risked so much on their behalf. Yet, being amongst her own kind had drawn the realization into a sharp contrast she could no longer ignore. Scott and Alice were Charlotte's...family.

Such a thing was unprecedented. Yet, as Charlotte considered it, her relationship with these young humans did not necessarily go against her people's imperative to focus on their evolution. Yes, as proved by the risks She'd taken, there was danger in the exploration of developing attachments like this, but the risk was no more significant than those she'd taken before her fall. Additionally, it held the potential for even more substantial gains, even if some of those gains would have been previously incomprehensible to her.

The She Alice has named "Dotty" sent a curling tendril of thought Charlotte's way, idly questioning why her lifespan had been questioned. In response, Charlotte returned images of their dinner with the thought, "It was relevant to their discussion about what to name you."

Dotty seemed intrigued by this. "But why give me a name? I already bear the title, 'She.'"

Charlotte affirmed but clarified. "Yes, and how long would it take to verbalize all the concepts identifying features contained within your title of 'She?'"

There was a moment of silence while Dott performed some simple math. "Well, assuming a cadence in line with your human, Scott's, vibrations, it would likely take several hours."

Charlotte agreed. "And that is why humans developed names. As short as they are, when meaningfully attached to an individual, they contain all the same information as your title, She, and sometimes even more. It is one of the many tricks they use to compensate for inefficiencies in their primary method of communication."

This time, Dotty seemed excited. "So that is why he addressed only you by the title of Charlotte? Is it your unique title? And they are deciding a similar but different vibration for myself?"

Charlotte again affirmed. "Yes, you are Dotty, or Dot for short."

Dotty seemed amused. "Dotty is so long they required a shorter version of it? My, your humans are amusing sometimes!"

Charlotte agreed. In fact, Scott was currently shaking his head in response to Alice's most recent suggestion. "No! Absolutely not! I will not name a hyper-intelligent insectoid alien 'Spot!' This time, I'm putting my foot down! It's not going to happen!"

However, judging by the mirth Cleo was exuding, it seemed as though she felt inspired by the name. "Well, we could go with Spike!"

Charlotte wasn't sure why Scott felt these names were inappropriate, as the She in question did indeed have spots and spikes on the carapace Scott had met, but he seemed adamant in his refusal. "Nope! Not gonna happen! I am not naming them after some kid's first dog!"

Charlotte felt the urge to egg Scott on. Thinking back to what she knew of human "pet names" she'd come across in some of her exploration of human traditions, Charlotte decided to add her own suggestion to the list. "How about 'Stud-Muffin?'"

Scott looked up at her in a way that Charlotte had come to associate with humans when they weren't confident about how serious She was being as Alice and Cleo collapsed in laughter before he responded, "That's... I mean... No. Just no."

Dotty was right. Her humans were amusing. This was turning into a good family dinner. However, Charlotte couldn't help but be aware that some family members were missing...