Object of Obsession

After that sobering dream I was unable to fall back asleep. I picked up my phone and pursed my lips in thought. I decided to reply to the texts Mae had sent me - not just because I'd be returning to school soon and couldn't avoid her for much longer anyway - but because I genuinely did miss my best friend.

Norma: Been a bit, huh? I've been pretty busy, but what's up?

I had forgotten how early it was, but Mae responded almost instantly.

Mae: Ah, not much I guess. You can ignore all those other texts, I'm still grounded so I was just bored and wanted to mess with you, lmao.

To be honest, I was getting pretty tired of Mae passing off her obsessive tendencies as mere jokes. If I ever wanted to have a serious conversation about all this, it was going to be almost impossible at this rate.

Norma: Yeah, sure.
Norma: -Ignored-
Norma: There. Now I'm pretending you never said all that crazy shit. Yep, it sure is just another regular day up in here.
Mae: Uh, are you okay?
Norma: Everything's just fine and dandy. There's nothing out of the ordinary to talk about whatsoever. Huzzah.
Mae: ...I don't know if this is a 'text has no tone' thing but there's something different about you.
Norma: You think?
Mae: God yes. You sound even more nihilistic than I usually do, so that's concerning. What's wrong, Normie? 
Norma: Not to take a line from the holy handbook of young goths, but; "You wouldn't understand."
Mae: Pffft. Try me, you basic bitch.

It was tempting, but no. Spouting nonsense about mind control all of a sudden just wasn't going to get us anywhere. Mae was playing it cool for now, but I knew my long silence had been painful for her. I decided to transition to the simple truth at the forefront of my mind.

Norma: ...I really miss you, Mae.
Mae: ...yeah, definitely feel you on that. I miss the hell out of you too, bestie.

We stopped texting for a while. As the light started pouring through the window I covered my eyes with my arm, still clutching my phone. I suddenly got another text, but this one was from an unknown number.

???: Hello, Norma. It's Luna...

Oh, shit. I really didn't know what I was going to say to her. I decided to start by checking in.

Norma: It's good to hear from you! Are you doing okay?
Luna: ...not really. It hurts, Norma. Not knowing whether to call you darling, wondering why you ran away from me... it's been hard. But I haven't been cutting. I swore to myself that I wouldn't guilt you into coming back to me.

I breathed a massive sigh of relief. That had been my biggest concern - if she had never texted me back at all, I'd have had to check in with her sooner rather than later to make sure that she wasn't hurting herself because of me.

Luna: Mother even got me a new phone, obviously, and it genuinely looks like she's trying to make up for her mistakes. I'm not sure if she ever really can, but it means a lot that she's putting in some effort. So, thank you for that.
Norma: I really didn't do anything - not consciously, anyway.  Actually, that's sort of why I ran away...
Norma: I think I had a panic attack, or a psychotic episode or something. Remember how you joked about me telepathically controlling your mom? At the time, I actually believed that.
Norma: And to be honest with you, Luna... I still kind of do.

I realized this was the perfect opportunity to bring my compulsion theory up in conversation. This was about as natural a segue as I was ever going to get.

Norma: It's not just her, either! Quin offering to come down out of the blue and abducting me, Mae suddenly getting jealous of you and I when she's always been straight... even your own feelings for me, Luna! I think I might have subconsciously planted the seeds of all of it.
Norma: If... if I had somehow forced you to love me, I couldn't-

I was going to say 'live with myself', but I didn't want to worry her anymore than I probably already was.

Norma: Umm, the thought was, and still is, too much to bear. That's why I ran.

Luna didn't answer for several minutes. Then...

Luna: ...I wish you had told me. I would have listened. We could have worked it out together.

I shook my head sadly even as tears came to my eyes. Her being able to consider my theory with a straight face, like it was just another marital problem to sort out, was simply too good to be true. It only reinforced my belief that I had subconsciously compelled this mania out of her.

Norma: ...I know you would have, Luna. Maybe some day we can talk more about it. But for now, I need more time. I'm sorry.

I waited a while for a reply, even a simple 'okay', but it never came. She might have been too hurt to compose one. For better or for worse though, the best thing I could do for Luna right now was to stay as far away from her as possible.

At long last Ves' alarm sounded, and after turning it off she smiled shyly at me as if only now remembering the night's events.

"Mornin', sis. Looks like you didn't end up needing me last night after all, huh..." she said with a hint of regret.

"That's not true - I only slept so soundly because I knew you were there."

She seemed relieved about that.

"Oh, really? Then it was my pleasure..."

Ves had to get up and yet she seemed to be lingering, a blush still painted all over her face. Now that a new day had risen she seemed embarrassed to bare her body to me again. Chuckling silently to myself, I threw the blanket over my eyes and feigned weariness for her sake.

"I hope your class isn't too rough today - Math first thing in the morning sounds like hell. As for me, I'm going back to sleep. It's way too early for us layabouts."

She laughed as she finally stood up and got dressed.

"Come on, it's not that bad - and you're going back to school in about a week, aren't you? Don't act like you're some good-for-nothing drop out!"

Still under the covers, I popped one hand out to wave her away.

"Don't remind me. I know I asked for this but now that the reality is setting in, I'm already dreading every second..."

"Don't be so dramatic, high school is fun! University, however - now that's a special kind of hell."

"Oh boy, can't wait."

It sounded like Ves had finished getting ready. She suddenly spoke in a much more serious voice.

"I love you, Norma."

"...y-yeah. I love you too..."

She pulled the blankets down so that they no longer covered my face, and with smiling lips tenderly kissed my forehead before heading down the hallway to her own room. After she left I thought I saw that desperate Quin from my dream for a moment, and realized that despite everything, I missed my childhood friend terribly.

I love you... I'll definitely have to be careful with those words from now on.

I continued to lay in bed for a few hours, feeling an onset of something like depression. Bearing the weight of the desires of every person I met was getting harder every day, and I didn't know how much more I could take.

And it's only going to get worse from here on out, isn't it?

It definitely was. I had no way out of this, no plan to break free from this curse or madness I'd been afflicted with, whatever it was.

I could become a hermit? Go out into the wilderness, far from any other living soul, and live off the land?

But no, I didn't know the first thing about survival, and a quick goolexiri search just wasn't going to cut it.

Not only that, but they found me at Quin's hideout, somehow. Doesn't that mean they can find me anywhere...?

It was getting harder and harder to breathe. Despite what I'd told Luna I'd never had a panic attack before, but this felt pretty close.

It's all so goddamn hopeless, isn't it? If I don't trust myself to find survival tips on the internet, I'm sure as hell not about to become an expert on the occult through a few web searches, am I?

With herculean effort, I managed to slow my breathing. There wasn't much point in panicking until things around me got bad enough to warrant it. In the meantime, maybe I could try using these powers consciously for once, rather than allowing them to manifest subconsciously as I assumed they always had. I didn't have the first idea how to go about it, but it was somewhere to start, at least. And somewhere to start was something I desperately needed right now.

I just had to think of a trial that could prove one way or the other whether my powers had been responsible for the outcome... but that was no easy task. It wasn't like there was any visual indication that I'd affected somebody before. And I couldn't travel back in time, so performing the exact same experiment under the exact same conditions was never going to be possible... I was starting to feel tired again already, but I kept riding the high of feeling like I might actually be able to get ahead of this.

Well, I'm going back to school soon, aren't I? There's never been a better reason to crack open a science textbook...

Throwing myself into study like I never had before in my life, I lost track of the minutes, then the hours, then the days...

If there's a way to find out what's happening to me, I'll find it. Luna. Mae. Quin. Raine. Ves. I swear here and now that I'll free you from me, or die trying...