Novelist Running Through Time

TL: KSD

“How did this happen…”

The story goes back to some time ago.

Right after it was revealed through a broadcast that I was aware of my parents’ existence and had identified them, the company received a significant call.

They were asking if the content aired on the broadcast was true.

Lim Yang-wook explained with a serious expression.

“The call wasn’t directed to our department but to the PR team. They handled it internally and didn’t think it was necessary to inform us, considering the question seemed trivial when taken out of context…”

“So, what was the response?”

“Of course, ‘Yes’. Who would claim it’s fabricated? Especially when it was a fact this time.”

Baekhak Entertainment confirmed it as true.

The first contact ended there.

And then, not long after, the second contact was made.

“The second contact was from someone different from the first caller. This person revealed from the start that they were your parents. They requested to meet you.”

“…”

“Only then did our PR team realize that the situation was getting serious. They contacted the individual from the first call again, confirmed that person was indeed your parent, and shared this information with our department…”

I cautiously raised my hand to interrupt Lim Yang-wook.

I didn’t care about the details.

“What do these people want from me?”

“They want to meet.”

“Ha…”

I felt all my energy draining. My strength seemed to seep out from my spine, and my head listlessly fell back.

Leaning against the passenger seat listlessly, Lim Yang-wook cautiously spoke up.

“For now, the company has been coordinating with both parents for a meeting in an undisclosed location. Well, to be precise, it’s still under negotiation. We haven’t asked for your opinion yet.”

“What happens if I say I don’t want to meet them?”

“What would happen? It would be the end. I’ll go to them in your place, explain things well, and send them back. So, do whatever you feel comfortable with. Though, I know it’s not exactly a comfortable situation…”

I pondered deeply before throwing a question at Lim Yang-wook.

“What do you think, Department Head~nim?”

“Me?”

Lim Yang-wook paused to stroke his chin before responding.

“As the head of the Publishing Management Department, I’d say meeting them is the right move. If you’re to continue as an author and a public figure, it’s best to tie up this issue sooner rather than later. In any manner.”

“…”

I guess that makes sense.

Just as I was trying to accept this with a heavy heart, Lim Yang-wook offered a twist.

“However, as a senior in life, I think it’s also okay not to meet them.”

“…Why?”

“It’s not like the world will end if you don’t meet them, right?”

“…”

I waited for him to continue, but Lim Yang-wook naturally closed his mouth.

“…Is that it?”

“What do you mean?”

“The reason not to meet.”

“What else could there be? Live life without regrets, doing what you want.”

Hearing Lim Yang-wook’s words made me spontaneously laugh. It felt slightly absurd given my situation of living life a second time.

I told Lim Yang-wook, who was looking at me with a peculiar gaze.

“Okay. Let’s meet them, just this once.”

“That’s the spirit. You’ve mustered a lot of courage. Want me to come with you?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll go alone.”

It wasn’t the first time meeting them, after all.

EP 4-Red Hunter

I became aware of my parents’ being alive around my second year of middle school, but it wasn’t until I had grown up that I first encountered them.

Right after my desperate concern of ‘What am I going to live on’ was resolved by Professor Gu Hak-jun’s declaration, “You, become my student.”

I was enjoying the springtime of my life, as an assistant to Professor Gu Hak-jun and a freshman at the university he was affiliated with.

Of course, there was a minor mishap when a department assistant carelessly revealed that I was an orphanage graduate, leading to some bullying, but compared to the numerous trials I’ve faced in life, it was merely a trivial pain. After all, isn’t frustration supposed to make a man grow?

Anyway, when people are well-fed, they tend to philosophize. The financial statements of many philosophers throughout history prove this.

So, uncharacteristically, I embarked on a journey to find my roots. I decided to confront the parents who had abandoned me.

I formally contacted my parents through the New Light Spring Orphanage, and after some contemplation, they each met with me.

Thus, I had one meeting each with two individuals marked by wrinkles.

Both had remarried and had one or two children each, and they faced the biggest mistake of their youth with varying expressions.

However, the difference in their expressions stemmed from their personalities, but the emotions behind those expressions were the same.

Upon seeing me, they cried, felt ashamed, and were frightened.

The karma of foolishly believing in everlasting love during their youth had suddenly caught up to them.

My existence, which they had tried hard to forget, seeking their own new happiness and peace, was a painful but undeniable wound to them.

Thus, I learned that my very existence was someone’s regret, distortion, mistake, a secret that could not be shared with their spouse, and an indelible stain spread throughout their lives.

This was not the reunion my deepest heart had dreamed of.

The reunion between parent and child, after nearly 20 years, ended leaving wounds on both sides.

Nonetheless, looking back at that time, there was at least a minimum level of dignity between us.

That dignity was the etiquette between human beings. We respected each other’s lives.

They acknowledged the pain caused by their mistakes and tried to apologize with tears, offering alimony. I refused the money for the sake of my dignity.

On the other hand, I acknowledged that they were not demons but humans, and I decided to quietly disappear to protect the peace they had earnestly achieved.

The long-standing bad karma thus ended.

Even if I were to die before them, the tragedy of a family (once was) ended that way.

But within the twisted flow of time, I was confronted with my roots once again.

About 10 years earlier, I saw them.

It was in a quiet and secluded place in Seoul arranged by Baekhak Entertainment.

They were much younger than I remembered. The man and woman in their early to mid-30s had no wrinkles on their faces and were beautiful enough to still charm the opposite sex.

They had not yet remarried, naturally had no children other than me, and there was no spouse who needed to be kept secret from, so they appeared more confident.

They seemed less wise than I knew, lacked the maturity and responsibility characteristic of parents raising children, and appeared financially unstable.

And…

They were more repulsive than I remembered.

They did not come alone. Their siblings were with them, sending greedy smiles my way, coaxing me to call them uncle, aunt, and asking to be treated as such.

My parents seemed troubled and ashamed by the situation but did not attempt to stop their siblings from trying to accept me into the family.

Someone proud to be my uncle pushed his young child towards me, claiming this child was my cousin.

It was then I finally came to my senses, angered by the situation, and stated that I could not agree to their claim.

A sordid argument ensued.

The other side strongly advocated for reconciliation, and I refused.

I declared that there was no way I would reunite as a family and serve them as parents when they chose not to raise me but to leave me in an orphanage at the time of their divorce.

However, it seemed that the other side had already prepared legally, pressuring me with the complex concepts of parental and custody rights.

But there’s no one who understands these issues better than someone from an orphanage. I warned them that I could file for the loss of parental rights in family court and that I could hire a lawyer to protect my integrity, mentioning my advisors who were ready to help me at any moment: Director Moon Chung-jae, Department head Lim Yang-wook, Professor Gu Hak-jun, CEO Baek Seung-won, Deputy head Baek Seol, Author Park Chang-woon, and so on.

The argument gradually shifted from legal issues to personal ones.

They accused me of not fulfilling my duties, and I protested that they were the ones who had first severed the ties of blood.

I insulted them by suggesting that this argument was all about coveting my wealth, and they tried to deny that fact while picking apart my choice of words.

The same conversation repeated several times. There was no progress in logic, just mutual slander.

The blood-related cousins they brought to persuade me burst into tears amidst the hostile atmosphere, and some of the more faint-hearted tried to mediate our fight as the situation worsened, turning pale.

But we were both extremely agitated. I did my best to insult their dignity, and in response, they hurled incoherent curses and threats at me.

Eventually, my biological mother fainted in tears. A relative on my father’s side, involved in the fight, accused me of being unfilial.

Then, my biological father punched his brother who had called me unfilial. My biological uncle fell, blood streaming from his nose, as screams of horror echoed through the restaurant.

And my biological father, trembling in his hands and legs, collapsed on the spot.

He sobbed like a child.

Watching him, I tried to guess his feelings. Why had he brought his relatives? Was it because he couldn’t overcome the pressure, or did he want them to say things he couldn’t?

Maybe he thought everything would work out like in a movie. But he couldn’t have imagined things would turn out this way.

But this is just my speculation, I’ll never truly know his innermost thoughts.

I don’t know.

The human heart cannot be clearly expressed with any words. It’s that complex and strange.

So, what remains in the relationships between people is only the outcome. Humans can’t accurately grasp others’ intentions, and intentions not observed remain unclear mysteries.

Thus, regardless of the intentions, only the outcome remains.

And today’s meeting became the most terrible and tragic result. Everyone present, if they were to look back on this day, would judge it as filled with nothing but sorrow and regret.

In the end, I concluded that they might be my biological family but could never be my social or legal family. If they coveted the status of a legal family, I would not consent to it and left the place.

The end.

* * *

“……”

Back to home, no, I have no home.

I returned to my studio and sat in a daze for a long time.

Everything I had just experienced felt like a story from a dream.

It was hard to believe it was reality.

But it was real.

The world often throws unbearable trials at fragile humans like me.

“……Ah.”

Having caused a scene at a dinner that was supposed to be a peaceful gathering, there was no way I had eaten there.

I hadn’t eaten dinner, and after sitting idly in my room for a while, my stomach started growling as if it would starve to death.

Right. I should eat something.

I have to eat to live……

But when I opened the refrigerator, there was nothing in it.

Only trash that I had been too lazy to throw away, like empty coffee cans, chocolate wrappers, and kimbap wrappers, rolled around.

Fortunately, amidst the graveyard of empty coffee cans, I found an unopened can of coffee and quenched my hunger to some extent by gulping it down.

Then, sitting on a child-sized office chair, I blankly stared up at the ceiling of my room.

After a while, I quietly closed my eyes and looked into my heart.

A storm was raging inside.

Why do these things only happen to me? Why wasn’t I born into a normal family? Why didn’t I meet parents who would love me? Did I commit some sin in a past life? Upon reflection, I did kill someone. Myself.

What’s the difference between the parents in my memories and the parents in reality? Are they the same people or different? Is time linear or planar? Does humanity grow or does it devolve?

How should I accept them? What if they harm me? Why did this misfortune happen? Why am I suffering…

These unresolvable questions tormented me until dawn.

After suffering for a long time, I suddenly noticed a book on my desk.

‘Red Hunter.’

An autobiography I had written as if vomiting out after enduring terrible agony in my childhood.

Looking at it, I found courage.

Should I wait quietly until the storm inside me passes?

No. I already knew how to move forward through the storm.

And it was already in front of me.

“……”

Paper and pen.

With just these two, I could momentarily escape the painful reality.

And leave all my sorrow in that world.

That was my literature.

* * *

“What? A week?!”

“Technically, it’s been much more than a week. There was a holiday in between……”

Min Hyo-chan scratched his head irritably.

Kim Byul listened quietly, shocked by Min Hyo-chan’s words.

“Anyway, that guy Moon, it’s been quite some time since he came to school. I thought he was on some variety show, but when I asked the teacher, there was no particular contact from the company? It’s unexcused absence by sheer willpower.”

The news awaiting Kim Byul, who had returned to school after a long time, was that Moon was practically in a missing state.

The atmosphere in the club room couldn’t have been more gloomy.

Gu Yu-na was hugging a pillow gloomily in a corner of the club room, and Min Hyo-chan also looked worried as he inquired about Moon In-seop’s well-being.

“I’ve been busy with events lately, so I only noticed recently. And you know, there are a lot of students like that at our school. Missing school for weeks because of schedules……”

“That aside! So why isn’t he coming? Is he sick?!”

“That’s exactly why we’re worried……”

It seemed that something had happened while Kim Byul was filming the movie.

The trio in the club spent a few more days filled with worry.

But Moon never showed up for school, and their patience eventually ran out.

“I’ll check it out myself.”

Eventually, Kim Byul contacted Baekhak Entertainment.

Management Team 2 gave Kim Byul Lim Yang-wook’s phone number upon her request.

-Hello?

“Hello, this is actress Kim Byul. I am… uh, a friend of Author Moon.”

Kim Byul explained the situation to Lim Yang-wook, Moon In-seop’s manager, and inquired about his whereabouts.

But even Lim Yang-wook was unaware of this situation?

-What? He’s been missing school?

“How could you not know about this!”

Kim Byul couldn’t help but retort sharply, astonished by the situation.

Kim Byul regretted it immediately, flustered because there was no taking back what had already been said.

Fortunately, Lim Yang-wook seemed just as taken aback and didn’t have the time to point out Kim Byul’s rudeness.

-No, I mean, he does tend to skip school on his own accord, but it’s odd he didn’t tell me about this in advance…

Then, Lim Yang-wook spoke to someone else in Japanese over the phone.

“Are you in Japan by any chance?”

-Yes. I’m on a business trip abroad… I guess I haven’t been taking good care of In-seop.

Lim Yang-wook, after briefly conversing with someone in Japanese again, concluded the conversation with Kim Byul in an apologetic voice.

-I’ll have one of our staff visit Author Moon’s house to check on him. Thank you for letting us know, and hopefully……

“Ah! We’ll do it!”

-Excuse me?

Kim Byul exchanged a quick glance with Gu Yu-na and Min Hyo-chan.

They looked back at her and nodded.

So, Kim Byul gathered everyone’s will and responded.

“We three will go check on him! We’re currently at school, you know? Doesn’t In-seop live near the school?”

* * *

“Is this the place…?”

Kim Byul checked the apartment number with a puzzled look. But after taking out a note from her school uniform pocket and checking, this wasn’t the right house.

Then, Gu Yu-na tugged on Kim Byul’s shirt sleeve.

“It’s over there.”

“Ah!”

Kim Byul, Gu Yu-na, and Min Hyo-chan arrived in front of Moon In-seop’s studio.

Min Hyo-chan, with his pink hair, checked with the others before operating the door lock.

“Shall I open it…?”

As Min Hyo-chan entered the four-digit code, a short beep sounded, and the door opened.

The trio cautiously entered Moon In-seop’s studio.

“Anyone here…?”

“Are you in…?”

“Excuse us…”

Moon In-seop’s studio was eerily silent upon their first entry.

It was aptly described as empty.

The heating was off, leaving a cold air settled on the floor, it was dark even though it was evening, and there was nothing visible besides the standard furniture that came with the apartment.

Shoes and a bag at the entrance, along with a school uniform, were the only signs that someone lived here.

Kim Byul entered the studio with a feeling of eeriness.

The quiet, dark, and chilly interior of the house.

A living room devoid of any furniture.

There was one closed door, likely leading to the main bedroom.

“Are you in there…?”

Kim Byul cautiously opened the door.

And inside was…

A body lying face down on the desk-

“Kyaaaaaah-!”

Kim Byul’s scream made Min Hyo-chan jump, and Gu Yu-na froze in shock.

Kim Byul, who had fallen to the floor as if foaming at the mouth, trembled in her legs but managed to stand up.

She then closely inspected the inside of the bedroom.

There was a bookshelf, a blanket, a desk, and a chair,

And on the desk were a monitor, keyboard, manuscript pages, a lamp, and Moon In-seop sprawled out.

Moon In-seop was quietly breathing in and out, alive.

Kim Byul, who had mistakenly thought Moon In-seop was a corpse, marched up to him, irritated.

Just as she was about to wake him up by hitting his back,

‘Oh.’

She noticed that even in his sleep, Moon In-seop was clutching a manuscript page as if it was everything he owned.

“……”

Kim Byul felt a certain desperation in that scene.

So, she quietly closed the bedroom door and walked out.

Gu Yu-na and Min Hyo-chan, who had come close, asked with their eyes if the boy was okay.

“Yeah. He’s just sleeping on the desk.”

“Geez, making us worry, that guy…”

“Let him be. He seems really tired.”

Kim Byul sat down with a thud on the living room floor, where there was no sofa, so they had to sit on the floor.

Min Hyo-chan and Gu Yu-na sat down on the floor next to Kim Byul. The cold floor felt chilling.

“Doesn’t he even turn on the heating…?”

“Seems like it.”

The three of them gathered to share a moment of relief that Moon was safe, their feelings exchanged through looks rather than words.

For a moment, they sat together, calming their startled hearts.

Then, a playful thought seemed to strike them. Min Hyo-chan grinned.

“Well… we should at least get a meal out of him, right?”

“Of course.”

At Min Hyo-chan’s suggestion, Kim Byul crossed her arms and nodded agreeably.

Min Hyo-chan, with a mischievous smile, also egged on Gu Yu-na.

“If he made us worry this much, shouldn’t he at least treat us to something? Right? What do you think, Gu Yu-na?”

“Agreed.”

“That’s right. That’s right.”

While adjusting her skirt hem as she sat, Kim Byul grumpily spoke.

“Guys. Let’s turn on the heating. I’m freezing to death here.”

“Where’s the boiler?”

“Are you expecting your sunbae to go look for it?”

“Yes, sunbae…”

Thus, the three of them unceremoniously made themselves at home in Moon’s apartment, turning on the lights and the heating.

Then, Gu Yu-na pointed outside the window with her finger.

“Look, outside there…”

“Huh? It’s snowing?”

White flakes began to gently fall outside the dim window.

The white snow slowly covered the dark city. Countless snowflakes fluttered against the black sky.

Captivated by the beautiful scene, the three of them gazed out the window in a daze for quite some time.

It was the first snow of the year.

*****

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