Chapter 221: aurum's answer
MISHLA raised his head as soon as he heard that voice. And there, standing at the foot of the stairs was the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on. Seeing her, he felt his heart beating crazily. If it could speak, it would probably be shouting at him right now. Telling him to rush over there and pull Aurum into his arms. But he stopped himself. Because he knew that she wouldn't like it. So, at the end, he could only stare.
Her long golden hair was flowing freely behind her back. The sky-blue dress she was wearing made her skin looked softer and more delicate. And her pair of beautiful amber eyes were filled with shock. As if she didn't expect him to be here.
That's probably truly the case. After all, her return to Albion was obviously a secret. She wouldn't want anyone to know about it. And yet, here he was. Clearly trespassing.
But even knowing that, Mishla just couldn't stop himself from coming here. It's not just because he wanted to see her. More than that, he wanted answers. To know what he had done that was so wrong that she would avoid him so blatantly. Although he already had an answer in his heart, he just refused to believe it. There's no way that he would.
Aurum, on the other hand, was truly surprised seeing Mishla here. The first thing she thought was how did he know that she was back? She probably could easily find the answer by reading his mind. But she wouldn't do that. Despite everything, she considered him as a friend. And she would never read the mind of someone she thought of as one. Just like how she wouldn't do it on her family and other important people to her. That would simply be disrespectful.
Despite that, it didn't take long for her to reach an answer in her head. There's only one that she could think of, really. That one of the servants tattled. Thinking of that, she suddenly felt angry. It seemed that she needed to talk to talk to Gregory about the servants in the manor. They needed to do some cleaning up. Those who couldn't be trusted should be let go and only let those faithful to the Blackbourne family remain.
They were in a sensitive juncture right now. They didn't need people who could easily tell others their whereabouts in exchange for something. In this case, she was almost sure that it's most likely money. Aurum didn't want to worry about those types of people, let alone let her brother worry about it, when they already had a lot of problems in their hands.
"Let's go to the drawing room," she said to Mishla.
"Milady, should we accompany you?" asked one of the maids standing on the side, waiting for orders.
Aurum almost forgot that it's inappropriate for an unmarried young lady to stay alone in a room with an unmarried gentleman. She's probably too used to the freedom she had whenever she���s with her brother. But seriously, this etiquette thing was just too annoying.
"No need," she said.
If what happened here got out and became the topic of the gossip mill, then that would only prove that the quality of the manor's servants was truly not that commendable. She didn't wait for any of the maids to reply and walked straight towards the drawing room. Mishla, of course, followed.
When the two entered the room, Aurum closed the door. To make sure that no one would eavesdrop on them.
"Please, have a seat," she said, gesturing to one of the seats inside.
"Thank you," Mishla said.
And the both of them sat down.
"I won't ask you how you found out that I'm back, because I feel like I already know the answer," Aurum started. "But I hope you won't do something like this again. It would be really inconvenient for me if someone was to know that I'm here. I hope you could understand."
Mishla clenched his fists, his nails almost drilling into his palms. She sounded so distant. As if she was talking to a stranger. His chest tightened. It's almost like he couldn't breathe. As if he was slowly drowning. Suddenly the confusion and pain he felt just turned to anger.
"Maybe if you at least answered one of my calls, I wouldn't resort to this," he said, almost gritting out the words between his teeth. Maybe there was even a tone of accusation in there. But he didn't care. "Do you really even think of me as a friend?"
Aurum was startled by what Mishla said. She was even more surprised seeing the obvious pain in those russet eyes. She suddenly felt extreme guilt.
When she realized Mishla's feelings for her might be more than that of a friend, she decided to avoid him. Because she didn't want to give him false hope. She believed that Mishla was smart enough to get her message even if she didn�����t tell it to him directly. No matter how deep his feelings was for her, he would no doubt be hurt. But a quick pain was infinitely better than a prolonged one.
She took a deep breath. This was an opportunity for her to cut off whatever hope that still remained in his heart. She couldn't let him pine on her when she knew herself that her heart would never turn towards him. Mishla didn't deserve that.
"You're the first person that ever reached out their hand to me and asked me to be their friend, for that I will forever be grateful."
And that's truly how Aurum felt. She probably wouldn't be able to adapt to society without his constant calls and messages. But she couldn't fool herself into thinking that she could return his feelings simply because she felt grateful. Being grateful and being in love were two completely different things. If she did accept him, the both of them would just be miserable in the future. She couldn't subject both of them to something like that.
She looked straight into Mishla's eyes. "You'll always be an important friend to me, Mishla. That will never change. But that's all I could offer to you – a lifelong of friendship. I hope you could understand."
Mishla felt like his heart had been hit by something. It's like a big rock pounded it into smithereens. He hadn't experienced something so painful in his life. He already knew that this would be her answer. For almost eight years that he had been friends with her, she never looked at him the same way he looked at her. But he hoped, he was still hoping, that one day he could change that. That one day, she would finally look his way.
But right at this moment, Aurum completely cut off that hope.
He laughed bitterly. He wanted to cry because of the pain. But he couldn't continue to make a fool of himself in front of her. He stood up.
"I- I'm sorry. I need to go."
He walked out of the drawing room, then out of the manor in a daze. He climbed on the back of his horse and left there. He wasn't even sure how he managed to go back home.
And then, inside his room, he fell down on his knees and cried.