Newly Broke Heroine! [Cozy, Fantasy, Slice-of-Life]

Ch. 18: I Can Dance On The Head Of A Pin, As Well!



It took another day of renovation work, but the store was completed, and everything was staged. Fiona was carefree in the number of hugs, girly shrills, and glittery-eyed doe faces she made as she surveyed the hard work invested in the storefront, now showing some glitz and glamor that had been lacking early in the process. Jake got extra hugs, because he was awesome. And fuzzy. Which probably paled to the fuzzies she felt in her body, seeing all this effort that went into getting her out of a bind.

“Yes! We have done it, Bonnie! It’s time to go tell that dweeb–I mean, er, it’s time to inform our illustrious and oh-so-cool King Barry, that we’re about to have our grand opening!” she announced to the world, her hands on her hips in a dramatic pose.

“Please don’t put your feet on the display tables,” Greg grunted. She quickly removed her foot, and then wiped an errant bit of dust off with a cloth, to make it shine. “Alright ladies, I think we’re set. Jacob, we’re in your debt–”

“Nah, you guys aren’t. You have your own battle to fight right now, and trust me, I would have done this for you guys, even if Fiona didn’t ask. I know that little red-haired upstart doesn’t like asking for help if she can avoid it, and most of the time, she doesn’t need it,” Jake assured him, and gave a massive paw shake to Greg. The workers had all packed up and headed out the front door, chatting merrily about the event at Jake’s place tomorrow night. He had mentioned sending extra invitations, and he had more than enough room. “Fi, can we talk a minute, before you head out?”

“Oh! Yeah uh, sure. Guys, see you back at McFly’s this evening?” she called out, and Bonnie nodded with a flash of her tail, and Greg doing that monk-like bow. Man, getting a smile out of Greg is like waiting for a blue moon! I gotta get him to work on that! She thought to herself.

She pivoted and turned to Jake, who smoothed his scalp fur down into something presentable. He might look like a wild beast on occasion, but his professionalism would counter that thought in a second.

She heard the door rattle close behind her, and Jake’s expression had gone softer, a little more rounded by his eyes, and he glanced around as if searching for something. But a few seconds later, his attention is back on her. “Fi, this shouldn’t be your burden. We all helped carry that reclaimed loot back from the dragon’s stash. I don’t know why you got stuck with the bill on this one.”

“Well, you know me. I’ve never let someone knock me down and out, without me trying to sweep their leg, getting back up and ready for another round.” Her words seemed to come with more resistance, and not at her breakneck rate of speaking like she usually did. “Besides, I think once Greybeard gets back, he’s going to have some unkind words with his son.”

“Probably. Much as I don’t want to give credit to Barry, he has taken heed of the shortcomings in the military, and gave more than a passing funding to it, unlike Greybeard. The old man did take a risk in pushing for a more open, less militarized society, and I do find myself with a bit of mixed feelings. They leaned pretty hard on us to help solve that dragon army dilemma.”

Fiona let out a huff of annoyance. “Jake, seriously, the kobolds were more adorable than they were deadly! Now, those nasty beast things they were riding, yeah, they had to go! They ate one of my boots! Luckily my foot was not in said boot when that happened, and he got smacked into the stratosphere with my old Bahn hammer here! The name never seemed so appropriate,” she added with a twirl of the inert handle. “Real talk though, Jake, no one’s going to replace you guys. We’ve done a ton of work, with very little fanfare that the royalty don’t notice. But the rest of the citizens do.”

“Nah, Greybeard knows the score. He has told me in private, more than a few times.” He rubbed at his mane and gave a toothy smirk with his canine muzzle. “You are coming to the party tomorrow, right? I mean, it’s kind of in your honor.”

“I helped, but I didn’t win a whole war by myself. Heck, I’m hoping by the end of this, I can send some cash your way. Are you uh…going to be with someone, there?” Jake tilted his head, and nodded after a brief pause.

“In a way. Anyway, my advice to you? Don’t step on Barry’s toes. I think he’s up to something skeevy, and not because you’re telling me, either. He’s the kind of creep who will set up things well in advance. He’s been a schemer since he was a toddler. It’s why all his other siblings hate him. I don’t get it, queen Celes used to give all her kids love and attention. Even Dave, with his lackadaisical attitude and half-finished mage degree, is quite the charmer, by any measure.” Fiona raised an eyebrow at this.

“Interesting word choice, Jake.”

“You’re a charmer too, Fiona. You’re a wild fey girl, with the way you skip around, chasing around even wilder ideas that should never work. But they do,” he laughed with a deep-throated laugh. She felt a burning rush across her face, was she blushing, in front of him? There was no time for that! She was a bit disappointed that she was going to be lacking a plus one, but, maybe Greg or Bonnie wouldn’t mind?

"I...might have to tone down some of those wild ideas. If I'm going to make this place work, wild won't always be the answer. Because if I screw up, Bonnie and Greg get pulled down, too. And I don't want that." It was a moment of reflection that made her realize, she's failed once, on running a place like this. She didn't want a repeat encounter.

Jake cleared his throat before she could focus down on the errant thought. “You have a level head, when you need it, Fi. Don't forget that. Oh hey, that reminds me. Trask was looking for you earlier. He wanted to talk to you. I dunno what about.” the way he scratched his mane, suggested otherwise.

“The new guy? Eh, he’s okay, but…I mean c’mon, the kobolds are more dangerous than him,” she pointed out. “Look, not everyone’s cut out for fighting. Put him in logistics or paper pushing, he’s got a sharp mind, and more than a paltry amount of magical powers! You fight wars with brawn, but you win them with brains! Or someone super famous and rich once told me.”

“Well, that rules me out,” Jake said with a belly-aching laugh, before they headed out the door and she locked up behind her. “Alright, I'll do that, you seem to have a sense for putting people in positions they shine in. See you tomorrow, Fi! Dress like you wanna dazzle, alright?”

“Oh, dazzling? It’s my middle name,” she replied with a flash in her eyes. She had just the outfit in mind for this kind of event.

And it would dazzle.


Fiona looked at the dress, and wrinkled her nose. “Tucker, this used to fit me. Or it did, three months ago. I haven’t been slacking in the diet department. Even snacks haven’t done that.”

She frowned and realized the problem wasn’t excessive snacks. It was the fact she swore she was a little taller than she used to be. And her chest, while quite average compared to Bonnie’s generous gift of a genetic dice roll, wasn’t lacking. She flexed her arms and realized that the muscle mass was a little more notable. Elves aren’t supposed to get buff. Sheesh. All that work slaying bloodthirsty orcs, and beating up the cuter monsters must have done my body some good.

Her option ‘A’ didn’t fit her anymore, and if she tried to put it on, she would likely need to be holding her breath the whole time, so it didn’t split a seam. That did not seem like a great way to spend a gala with all her friends tonight. Tucker batted at the bright blue slip of a dress, and then promptly curled up on it, where it was laying on the bed. She glared at the cat accusingly, and Tucker pretended to go to sleep.

“Really, now? C’mon cat, you can find a cozier spot than that to rest,” she grumbled, but made no effort to move the cat. Tucker then sprawled out and stretched his legs with a loud yawn. “Alright, I have one more dress. It’s a little more…uh…Bonnie’s style.”

She dared a dive into the depths of the closet, past the armor stands and toward the back, where she stood and looked at that dress. The one she hadn’t dared to wear. Tucker lost interest in being a paperweight and rubbed against her calf, and meowed softly. He sat on his haunches and stared at the dress, too, before licking a paw and glancing at her.

She exhaled like she’d been holding her breath too long. “Yep, Tucker, that one. I think it’ll fit me, it was a tiny bit loose on me before. I mean, I could also get Bonnie or a seamstress to custom tailor it for me, but in the absence of time, I think it’s the one.” It was also a bit more flirty than usual for her, with a wide open back, and the neckline wasn’t a notch.

It was a plunge down the middle. She looked down and pictured it on herself, and she realized there would be almost no room to hide anything. Fortune favors the bold? Man, that’s a pun and a half, coming from me.

She stood there, putting a hand to her chin, and working up the nerve to conclude that this might be the time to show off. She was not backing down. Hell with it. Maybe I died fighting an eldritch lizard god, but I won’t let fear stop me in this life. This will end in disaster, or one hell of a fun night.

She did ponder that question again, that both Greg and Bonnie had raised: why was she here? Maybe I should live without fear. What if someone brought me back, because I dared to stand defiant in a no-win scenario? She narrowed her eyes, before grabbing that fire-red dress off the rack, and got to work on being the sizzling star of this party–or at least bringing the fun times, she thought with a prideful smirk.

It did take a few minutes to get the dress on, but with a little bit of maneuvering, she looked down at the sleeves and noticed something odd–the dress fit perfectly after a few seconds, with no creasing or bulging at the joints. When she looked at it, the fabric seemed to be stretching and shrinking where it needed to, and she smiled wildly.

This is why the dress cost as much as it did, it wasn’t the fashion appearance, there was magic waved into the very fabric of the material! She did ponder for a second, would it adjust to be a little less…sporty? She tried to picture it with her mind. It was that, or uttering out keywords and magical sigils, and that could be either useless, or dangerous.

Much to her immense relief, when she focused on the revealing plunge down her front, the fabric seemed to sew itself together in real-time, with a little more to the imagination for any onlookers. But the basic shape and premise of the dress was unchanged. She glanced at the gold embroidered sleeves and the accommodating skirt, and headed over to her dresser by the bed, where she kept a few critical make-up items. The ingredients weren’t chemical toxicity, unlike Earth, and she got to work to add just that little bit of extra flair.

Tucker sat on the edge of the bed, tail flicking gently back and forth, as he made a low purring sound that got her attention. “Tucker, do you approve? I mean I normally don’t go all out, but this…this kind of feels like an occasion for it,” she announced as she pursed her lips together with just a bit of cherry red accent, and the transformation was done. Now, the million-dollar question was, dress shoes? Or, something a little more practical, that she loved to wear?

She did have a pair of dress shoes that fit the bill, and were darkly colored--not fancy, but practical. They went quite well to match the set. And no heels to break an ankle in! That was a relief.

A knock at the door got her attention. Judging by the gentle rap, it was Bonnie–she always was so timid with knocking on a door, even given her bold approach to most other things. “Coming! Just about wrapped up!” Fiona called out, before grabbing a hairbrush. The finishing touch was a quick combing of her hair, and letting it flow loose–it just bounced naturally, and strangely, she didn’t have to do much maintenance on it. She pushed back from the small mirror, and opened the door.

Bonnie was there, stunning-looking, and her fur seemed to glow practically. Her grass green dress was a modest ordeal from her, with an open backing, and room for her poofy tail, too. Bonnie gasped when she saw Fiona at the doorway, and a hand went to her muzzle, with fingerless sleeves going from her claws to just past her elbow. “Uh…wow.”

She must have been awed at seeing Fiona all dressed up like this, looking all cute, and daring, in this race car red version of a dress. It was probably one of her riskier investments in fashion, with the gold embroidery almost glowing. “So uh, how do I look?” Fiona asked anxiously.

Bonnie finally recovered from the spectacle and flashed a foxy smile. “Hey, have you seen a redheaded, zany chick somewhere around here, that answers to Fiona?” she answered after a second, and her eyes lit up in delight. “She might have lost some square dude who got dressed for the occasion. Greg, get over here, check this out! I think someone stole my favorite long-eared companion.”

He steps around the frame and jerks his head back, eyes wide as he looked on in awe. “Goodness, Miss Swiftheart. I’d like my heart to go very still right now,” he finally quipped, and Fiona laughed as she steadied him with a firm grip on his shoulder. He was dressed in a proper dress shirt and jacket, with dark trousers that match the dark-colored jacket.

“You know something, Greg? You’re alright. Now, let’s go make our big debut!”


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