New Vegas: Sheason's Story

That was Johnny Cash, singing about when "The Man Comes Around." This is Mr. New Vegas, fanning the flames of your passion, and have I got news for you. Gomorrah is under new management after the departure of Omerta bosses Nero and Big Sal. The casino's new manager spoke to reporters earlier today: "Before he left, Nero told me him and Big Sal were tight see, said that they were gonna go camping down at Lake Mead. Said he always wanted to sleep with the lakelurks." Today's headlines were brought to you by Primm: The other New Vegas. More classics coming right up for you, so stay tuned.

I tried to steady my breathing as I set foot in the elevator - which was harder than you might think. For one thing, I still didn't quite feel comfortable wearing the Riot Gear helmet. Plus, I was so heavily laden down that every step I took shook the ground with a heavy thud. I practically punched the button for House's penthouse, as the doors slid shut soundlessly... and the elevator started to slowly move up.

I activated the IFF spotter mode on my helmet's heads-up display as I looked around the elevator, the tension killing me. My eyes settled on a small glass dome above my head in the right corner of the elevator. Without a second thought, I reached down, pulled out Roscoe, aimed, and fired at the camera, tiny shards of glass and sparks raining down on me.

Ding.

The elevator doors slid open soundlessly... but that was the last time things were quiet.

I aimed the Sprtel-Wood 9700 through the open elevator doors, and held down the trigger. A heavy shock ran up my arm as the gatling laser exploded in a flurry of bright green laser beams, one right after the other. Sure enough, three Securitrons were standing right outside the elevator; I only got a split second look, but I'm sure two of them were Marilyn and Jane. After that first few seconds, it didn't really matter.

The lances of green fire speared through the robots and just kept going. Their face screens exploded, and huge chunks of red-hot metal flew everywhere. The Securitrons were grouped so closely together outside the elevator doors that I didn't even need VATS - which was lucky, since that chainsaw grip on the top of the gatling laser meant I couldn't really aim. One by one, the robots fell amidst the piles of metal, wires, and glass that had exploded off them.

The radar from my Pip Boy and the motion tracker inside my helmet's HUD went crazy. Red dots appeared all around me. I grabbed a pair of smoke grenades off my chest, tossed them to either side of me, and ran out of the elevator, bringing the massive gatling laser around to bear to my left. Knowing my luck, the robots vision wouldn't be affected by the smoke, but it was better than nothing - especially with hostile contacts closing in around me. Sure enough, a Securitron rolled around the corner out of the billowing smoke cloud, its face-screen glowing red and weapons obviously primed.

"Assaulting an officer-" I didn't really hear the rest; I was too busy trying to get out of the way of the red laser beams it was shooting at me. I held down the trigger as I ran, sending another hail of lasers right back at the Securitron. The heavy green lasers exploded against the robot in a shower of sparks and molten metal. It fell backward, shooting a hail of lasers into the ceiling as it went.

"Why are you doing this?" House's voice boomed loudly over the speakers, which was only amplified by the speakers in my helmet. I tried to shut out his voice as I ran between the broken and scrapped Securitrons and into another part of the penthouse. "I would have made you wealthy! You could have helped change the world!"

More red dots appeared on my HUD, converging on me from all sides. The closest seemed to be a cluster of three dots. If I was reading this right, they were right around the corner. I let go of the Sprtel-Wood 9700's joystick-trigger, and pulled one of the grenades off my chest. I pushed the button on the top of the silver-grey cylinder, and tossed it into the next room.

The first of the Securitrons rolled into view seconds later. It's two shoulder panels were open - revealing a cluster of eight rockets in each that looked ready to fire. A wave of panic washed over me. Was the pulse grenade a dud? A second Securitron rolled into view just as I hefted the gatling laser back up. I just hoped I'd be faster on the trigger than the robots...

There was a blinding flash from behind the corner, and a dome of blue-white electricity arced over and into every metal object. Several lightning strikes shot through the robots, which spasmed and collapsed; the face-screen on one of them exploded outward before falling backward.

"Think you're doing well, to have made it this far?" House's voice boomed yet again. I tried to shut him out. I wasn't nearly do-

My world was rocked by an explosion, practically drowning me in a sea of noise. A wave of heat and shrapnel raked my side, and sent me flying; my armored gut slammed into one of the nearby railings, and I felt myself tumble end over end. Seconds later, I slammed face-first into the ground. That must have been a rocket exploding near my feet. Or was it a grenade? Never mind, doesn't matter.

I got to my feet as quickly as I could... which didn't feel all that fast. The armor may have helped cushion the blow, but it still stung. I'm just glad I wasn't wearing the duster that went with the armor, otherwise it would've gotten tangled up in the railings on my way down. Hell, I was just surprised the conduit connecting the gatling laser to the backpack power cells didn't catch on anything. I looked up just in time to see one of the robots looming over the railing, aiming one of its arm-mounted weapons at me. I pushed off against the ground, slamming my shoulder against the wall directly below the railing to try and get out of the line of fire.

"Exterminate!" I heard one of the robots yell right before the floor near my feet erupted in a shower of shredded tiles. This position was both good and bad. On the one hand, the Securitrons were so bulky that they couldn't aim their weapons straight down over the railing, so they couldn't shoot at me (until they managed to circle around), but the gatling laser was so bulky I couldn't shoot back up at them, either. A blast of red laser fire seared the air a few feet past my head, hitting the ground in another shower of sparks.

"Oh, fuck off already..." I said, pulling another of the pulse grenades off my chest, priming it, and tossing it upward. Amidst the cacophony of machine gun and gatling laser fire, I heard the metal cylinder hit the ceiling with a clang, and start to fall back down. I held my helmet and crouched, bracing for the EMP.

The grenade exploded with a thunderclap, the arcing electricity lighting up everything around me. I heard a clatter of metal against metal right above my head. I bolted from my spot against the wall - and just in time. If the sound behind me was any indication, one of the Securitrons had fallen over the railing, and smashed into the floor.

I kept running, trying to stay ahead of the red dots on my radar. I could hear more Securitrons, off in the distance. The next thing I knew, I was standing in front of House's massive monitor, his face still un-moving as he looked down on me. I had to figure out where House was - where House really was - and fast.

"Do you really think you can win here?" House boomed, looming over me. I hefted the gatling laser up, just as a pair of Securitrons rolled into view at the top of one of the curved staircrases. I held down the trigger, and a burst of green laser fire erupted forth... just as a cascade of red laser fire cut through the air. The blast from the Sprtel-Wood was enough to send the two robots flying backward in a shower of molten metal and sparks; one of the Securitrons' lasers clipped me in the left leg, knocking me off my feet and onto my hands and knees. It was just a graze, but... then I looked down at my finger still on the trigger, and realized the gatling laser was completely dry. All that was coming out the end was a weak burst of green and yellow sparks.

"Argh!" I yelled, slowly trying to get to my feet, pumping the trigger again and again as I moved. There was nothing but sparks weakly spluttering out of the end. Damn it! "Antique piece of -" More red dots on my HUD, coming from the other side. I dropped the gatling laser, and ran (well... limped, really) to the space under the stairs on my right, pulling the backpack battery off as I went.

I knew more were coming. I could hear them above me, rolling down the staircase. I'm just glad I wasn't completely weaponless, now that the 9700 wasn't an option. I pulled the Holorifle off my back and pumped the forestock just as the first of the robots rolled into view.

"Your move, creep!" was all it had the chance to say. So I took aim, and let off a recoilless volley of holographic blue cubes. It smashed into the robot's face-screen and just kept going, sending it flying in a cloud of evaporating blue cubes right into House's giant console. The second rolled into view from the other side; I smashed the metal stock against the monitor, sending shards of glass flying everywhere.

It almost seemed to cry out, as if it was in pain, and it rolled around on it's one wheel, the tube-like arms grasping feebly at nothing. So I pulled out Roscoe, and fired a round into its tire. It collapsed back, almost immediately, arms still flailing... until I pumped the Holorifle, and fired another burst of holographic cubes into its chassis.

"You... you're chances of breaking through my defenses are..." House actually sounded worried now. "...they're... minimal! At best!" Of all the things I never expected, House sounding desperate was close to the top of my list. That was happening a lot lately, House saying things I wasn't expecting. Ah well. Not too much longer now, and that'll be a problem in the past.

Or more Securitrons will be waiting for me, and I'll be killed. Either way.

While I reloaded the Holorifle, I saw a terminal on the wall to my left. It was hidden beneath the staircase, which explains why I never saw it before... it was odd. I checked the motion tracker again - no contacts for the moment - so I decided to take a gamble and see what was on it.

"Antechamber terminal, huh?" I said, easily breaking through the firewall. "Alright then... let's see what's behind door number one." I hit the execute button, and suddenly the whole wall shuddered. A panel that wasn't there before seemed to appear, and a whole section of the wall slid inwards.

"Warning!" A woman's voice, quite unlike Jane or Marilyn's, said over the speakers. "Room breech detected! Unauthorized personnel in restricted area!"

"Not yet, I'm not," I said readying the rifle. I rounded the corner...

"Exterminate!" the robots and the ceiling-mounted turret all seemed to fire at once. I didn't actually have time to get out of the way, and the next thing I knew I was seeing stars and spinning around, falling and landing flat on my back with a thud. It felt like I'd been shot in the head... again. My ears were still ringing when my vision cleared enough to see the two red dots on my radar start to make their way toward me.

"Mmmmmotherfffffffucker..." I grunted out under my breath, pulling another pulse grenade off my armor. I primed it, tossing it in the room; the only clear shot I had was of the windows looking out. It bounced off the glass, and sailed deeper into the room. There was a flash, and a burst of lightning that arced all the way to the door, and the two red dots on my radar winked out of existence.

As I pushed myself off the ground and back onto my feet, I ran a hand over the side of my helmet. Just above my right eye, I could feel a long, deep gash... and as I tried to trace what I thought was a bullet hole, something small and metal fell off my helmet onto the floor: the smashed remains of a rifle shell.

I'll say this about the Gun Runners... they do good work.

I walked into the antechamber, my rifle at the ready... but inside was nothing but a few servers, terminals, and the now deactivated remains of a pair of Securitrons. Plus, the gun mounted on the ceiling, limp and pointing to the ground with all its electronics obviously fried. To my left was a pair of elevator doors bearing the logo of the Lucky 38 that looked like they hadn't been used in centuries... and a panel next to it with only one button: down.

"Alright, Alice..." I muttered, pushing the button to call the elevator. "Let's see how deep this rabbit hole goes."

Ding.

The elevator doors creaked and squeaked as they opened. This elevator was not quite as well furnished as the other. It looked... almost like a service elevator, spartan and utilitarian. Inside, there were only two buttons: Penthouse and Control Room. So, since I was already at the penthouse, I hit the lowest button. The doors shut... and the elevator rushed down with a speed I hadn't experienced since the express elevator to the Sierra Madre's Vault. I had no idea exactly where I was going... I just knew that, wherever it was, I was now deep, deep, underground.

Ding.

The elevator doors opened onto a single catwalk, suspended in a darkened, cavern like room. All around were vents slowly belching steam, metal beams criss-crossing between the walls, and dozens of metal chains hanging from the ceiling, gently swinging from the air displaced by the steam. Beyond that... were computer servers. The walls were lined with them, presumably going from floor to ceiling, even though I couldn't see either.

"Hold on! Now, hold on!" House's voice echoed in the cavern as I stepped forward. "Just a moment! Turn around and leave, and I... I won't attack you any further!" I understood why House sounded nervous: at the end of the catwalk was a single computer console, sitting right in front of an oblong tube. The horizontal tube of metal and glass looked just large enough for a body. The metal container was hooked up to dozens of machines; the ones with monitors looked like the kind of medical displays I'd seen in hospitals back in NCR territory... only much more advanced.

"Just - just stay away from the console!" House pleaded as I walked forward, desperation evident in his wavering voice. "It doesn't do anything!" I kept walking forward; every time I took a step, a thick cloud of dust was kicked up by my feet.

"Does it not?" I growled through the helmet's respirator. "Well now, let's just see about that, shall we?" I had no idea if I was speaking loud enough for House to hear... then again, judging by all the dust down here, he probably never expected anyone to make it this far. Why would he install any microphones to hear nothing?

My suspicions were confirmed when I booted up the console. There wasn't even a rudimentary firewall on this computer. No password protection... nothing. As I flicked through the various dialogue options on the computer, I heard House let out a heavy - almost resigned - sigh.

"Ironic, how this has turned out," House said. His voice was no longer desperate, but instead filled with bitterness. "The thousands of hours I spent calculating odds. Running projections. Planning for every contingency. I survived the end of the world, over two hundred years in stasis, and even overcame the physical limitations of my own frail human body... only to be done in by a mail carrier with a grandiosity complex."

I ignored him as I found the right option: opening the life support chamber. The computer gave a warning on the screen: "Microbial Infection Risk. Proceed?"

"Bet your ass I wish to proceed," I said, hitting enter. The tube cracked open with a pop and a hiss, clouds of cold, white smoke pouring out. The lid slowly swung upward, the machines all around the tube going mad...

A single, withered and desiccated hand reached up from inside the tube. It clawed at the air, grasping at nothing, and shaking as if the very act of moving was a terrible burden. I heard the unmistakable sound of someone gasping - stagnant air forcing its way into broken, ravaged lungs. Machinery started to whirr and move, and the hand was soon followed by House's real body, held in place on a mechanical table moving thanks to a mechanical arm... but it was a body only in the loosest sense of the word.

House's emaciated form was practically a skeleton with slimy, yellowish skin stretched tightly across his bony frame. Tubes and wires of various shapes and sizes were plugged into his body - including a rather large one encasing the entirety of his crotch, conveniently labeled 'waste.' There were several metal disks that looked like they were welded onto his chest, and a pair of tubes snaked their way into his nostrils. A crown of metal, lights, and wires ringed his skull. If I had to guess, it was plugged directly into his brain. His eyes were milky white with only the vaguest hints of retina and cornea beneath; I had no idea if he could see anything like this. The only hair I saw were dozens of thin, wispy strands of white facial hair protruding from his face and sticking to his body. He looked more dead than most ghouls I've come across... and yet, still, he slowly and jerkily tried moving and shaking inside his restraints.

"W-whyyyy..." House's real voice was like sandpaper against my ears. "... have you... done this?" He gasped heavily. The very act of speaking aloud seemed to be causing him extreme pain. "Centuries of p...p...prepar...ation!" He gasped again, some kind of fluid gurgling in the back of his throat. "...s-so much good... undone!"

I shouldered the Holorifle and pulled the Ranger Sequoia from my underarm holster. I didn't point it at him. Not yet.

"Why?" I said, thumbing back the hammer of the massive revolver. "Where do I start, House? Could it be because you're so obsessed with your vision of an ideal world, that you're willing to kill anyone who doesn't fit your personal definition of perfection? Maybe it's because you're a massive hypocrite, claiming to work for the betterment of mankind, but all you're truly interested in is maintaining the status quo of your own power. Perhaps I want to break New Vegas of your iron-fisted rule, make a truly free Vegas, one that's actually run by us flawed human beings. Maybe it's just because I need you out of the way, so I can install Yes Man... and finish what Benny started."

"Y-your... vanity project..." House wheezed. "...doomed to fail..." He hacked and wheezed, a strange yellowish-green fluid starting to leak out of his mouth.

"Or maybe," I leveled the revolver between his eyes. "Maybe it's just because I don't like you."

"Fool!" He gasped, coughing again; his whole body shook from the effort. "To let... p-p-personalities... derail... f-f-future of... mankind!" I shook my head slowly.

"No. It's none of those. The reason I'm going to kill you, the real reason... is because you wanted me to murder my friend. You wanted me to kill Veronica. And that is a line I will not cross. Not now. Not ever. Because I know you, House. And I know that you'll never stop at one."

"M... m... may there be... a hell... for you..." House gasped again, trying to snarl; all he succeeded in doing was spitting up flecks of bile on himself. "A... Tartarus... bleak... un...unending!"

Close as I was, I didn't get a chance to fire. Because...

Ding.

I wheeled around, keeping my gun trained on House; I shrugged my shoulder, grabbing the Holorifle with one hand and pointing it at the opening elevator doors. A single Securitron rolled out... with a familiar face.

"Victor!" I practically spat. It was unmistakably the cowboy robot... but his face screen wasn't like before. Where before his cartoon face depicted a smiling, happy cowboy, now... it was the exact opposite. His face was twisted up in an almost cartoonishly exaggerated frown, cigarette practically crushed between his snarling lips. But what really got me were those eyes. Hateful, and full of malice, they seemed to stare at me, the iris small as a pinprick in each.

"You low-down snake!" Victor yelled, his voice echoing in the cavernous chamber. He started rolling forward, arming the weapons in his arms as he moved. "After ever'thin' ah've done fer you! Ever'thin' House has done fer you! Savin' yer life... takin' ye in when the rest of the world didn't even know yer name! An' this is how ye repay his hospitality?" The panels in his shoulders opened up, revealing the clusters of rockets ready to fire. "I wish I'd have left you in the ground to rot!"

For a minute, neither of us moved. I stood between Victor and House, his guns pointed at me, my guns pointed at both. I could feel my heart racing inside my chest. I glanced around, not moving my head, trying to think of a way out of this...

"Draw!"

In a single motion I kicked off the ground and leapt away from House, holstering the Ranger Sequoia and shouldering the Holorifle as I jumped. My feet hit the railing, and I kicked off again, leaping away from the catwalk. I could vaguely hear Victor firing wildly in the air behind me once I'd cleared House. With both hands, I reached out and grabbed one of the chains hanging from the ceiling. The momentum kept me going, and I started swinging through the air in a wide arc on the chain, and started coming back to the catwalk, aimed directly at Victor.

He fired a grenade in the air above me just as I let go of the chain. I could hear the explosion try and rip apart one of the metal beams, and saw the chain - now free of its mounting - sail right past my head and keep going into the darkness below.

Thanks to skill or luck - I have no idea which - I landed no less than a foot away from the massive metal robot, sneering down at me. I was too close for him to use any of his weapons, but that didn't look like it was going to stop him. He raised one of his massive claw hands above his boxy frame, ready to strike. I shrugged the Holorifle off my shoulder, and grabbed it with both hands, bringing it up to protect me like a club or a staff. Victor's claw impacted against the side with a resounding metal clang... but he didn't break through.

"You can't win," Victor snarled, his sneering face flickering slightly. "You know that, don'cha? Yer fighin' a battle ye've already lost!" I pushed up against his claw with all my might, but... he just kept pressing down. Inch by inch, the Holorifle came back at me, and Victor's free claw rose up, readying to fire. Without any warning, I let my right arm go limp, but kept pushing with my left; both Victor's claw's were deflected away from me, and they resonated against the guard railing with a loud metal crash.

"Yeah!" I let go of the Holorifle and punched Victor in the middle of his face-screen with all my might. "I'm known for that!" Shards of glass splintered away form the screen, but it didn't break completely. Victor reeled, trying to roll away and bringing a claw up to shield his flickering and broken screen.

"Damnit!" Victor yelled, his face practically dissolving into electronic snow underneath the cracks in his glass. "Yer gonna pay fer that!" He brought up his free claw, aiming it at my face; I smashed my Pip Boy against the side, deflecting it away just as a burst of red laser fire cut through the air, barely a few inches away from my helmet. I grabbed the robot's arm, pulled out the Ranger Sequoia, and fired a single round point blank into the claw.

The revolver went off like a bolt of lightning loosed by an angry god. It kicked like a brahmin and nearly flew out of my hand, but it did the trick. The round punched straight through the metal and shot out the other side, causing the gatling laser to fizzle and splutter to a halt. I had to end this, and end it now. I thumbed the hammer back again, and fired - this time, into Victor's wheel. It burst, sending rubber in all directions; the robot wobbled in place for half a second, and then fell backwards against the catwalk with a metal crash. I holstered the revolver, and picked up the Holorifle.

"You know, Victor..." I pumped the forestock and leveled the rifle at the robot as it groaned, desperately trying to pull itself up. "I never liked you." The Holorifle discharged with a clunk, and the top half of the robot was dissolved by the flurry of blue holographic cubes.

I let out a sigh, and started breathing heavily, in a feeble attempt to catch my breath. I turned around, ready to finish what I started with House, but...

"Huh." That's all I managed to say when I saw House after everything else that happened. All the machines around him, displaying flatline after flatline, confirmed what I was seeing: there was House, head and limbs hanging limp, a massive cauterized hole in his chest. One of Victor's ill-aimed gatling laser shots, maybe. I guess... at this point, it didn't really matter.

"Rest in pieces, House," I muttered to myself as I turned on my heel and made my way back to the elevator. "I'm sure I'll see you again in Hell."

The adrenaline had worn off when I stumbled out of the elevator and onto the Lucky 38's casino floor, but I wasn't quite done yet. House may be dead, but I just knew there were still plenty of Securitrons between me and The Tops. The Sprtel-Wood 9700 wasn't an option anymore, and the Holorifle wasn't practical in a protracted shootout (at least, not as my only weapon), so I'd stopped by my room on the way back down to pick up some more pulse grenades, the G36, and six magazines of armor piercing ammunition.

When I stepped outside, I was kind of glad I was wearing the helmet. I don't know how, but the lenses seemed to automatically dim to match the sunlight outside. Well, that, and... behind the gas mask, nobody could see me grimace. The leg where I got clipped with the laser was actually starting to hurt now. I just ignored it and kept going.

I barely got 20 feet away from the Lucky 38 before I heard voices all around me. The Strip was always noisy and full of people, but this... it didn't seem like the normal sounds at all.

"What's going on? Do you know what's happened?"

"Why have they all stopped moving?"

"Did anyone else see those lights at the top of the Lucky 38? What was that about?"

"What happened to their faces?"

"Is that smoke coming from the tower?"

"Hey, that guy came out of the Lucky 38!" One of the gamblers started walking up to me. "You're... you're that Courier, aren't you? Do you know what's happened?"

"Uh..." I looked around, a bit perplexed. "What... what do you mean? What are you talking about?"

"It's the Securitrons," this guy said, pointing at one of the nearby robots. "They've all just stopped moving."

Sure enough, the closest Securitron was just... it was completely still, balanced on its single wheel. I carefully started walking around it, rifle at the ready, but... no. When I saw the face screen, it was completely blank. No security guard face, no soldier face, not even electronic snow. It was just... a black, blank screen.

I started running down the strip as fast as I could. House must have been sending some kind of direct control signal to all the Securitrons on the Strip. In a way, it kind of made sense, since he was so intrinsically linked into the Lucky 38's mainframe... but now that House was out of the picture...

I didn't have much time.

There were two disabled Securitrons standing in front of The Tops. A crowd of people were gathered around them, just looking up at them. I pushed my way past them, making a beeline for the doors - damn! Locked! I planted my foot and kicked the door open. I ignored the sounds of people yelling after me, and just kept running deeper into the abandoned casino.

The Tops was almost exactly like I remembered leaving it. Half the blackjack tables were still overturned (or blown apart), and the walls were still covered in bullet holes, not to mention the splotches of blood that had dried into various shades of black and brown. There was one difference, however: there were no bodies. Not even skeletons.

I couldn't think about that now. I just ran through the casino, retracing my steps from what felt like a lifetime ago. Into the stairwell, up the stairs, and onto the 13th floor. Luckily, the adrenaline had finally kicked in again. I wasn't even out of breath. Of course, when I ran onto the 13th floor... I kind of... stopped.

In the middle of the hallway, just a few feet in front of me, was a very large stain on the carpet, along with several other stains on the surrounding walls. It was unmistakably the bloodstains left from my fight with Benny... but his body was nowhere to be found. I just shut my eyes, shook my head, and kept going forward, running into Benny's room, and only stopped when I went through the hole in the wall to Benny's workshop.

"Yes Man!" I yelled. Where was he? I thought he said he'd never left here. "Are you in here?"

"Hi there!" A familiar, overly friendly mechanical voice said as the Securitron rolled into view. "How are you doing? What can I do for you today?"

"There you are," I said, unbuckling the Riot Gear helmet and pulling it off. "It's me. You remember me?"

"Of course I do!" Yes Man said, his smiling cartoon face flickering slightly. "According to my internal clock, it's been 495 hours, 12 minutes, and 43 seconds since we last spoke! But don't worry about me - it's not like I've been counting or anything!" I shook my head and laughed, putting the helmet back on.

"Well, stop counting. I'm here to take you to the Lucky 38. C'mon." I started walking out of the room, and I heard Yes Man's single wheel start squeaking as he started following.

"Oh, that's wonderful!" He said, happily. "But why are we going this way?" I stopped, turning to look at him - but then I realized my raised eyebrow couldn't be seen beneath my helmet and gas mask.

"What do you mean? This is the way out, isn't it?" Yes Man started laughing, and rolled past me, away from the stairs.

"Follow me! There's a special express elevator Benny would use to get to the casino floor!"

"So! This is what the rest of the world looks like!" Yes Man said, looking around as we walked out the front of The Tops. "Everything looks bigger than I imagined! I bet I'm gonna like it in that mainframe!"

"C'mon, focus!" I said, readying my rifle again. "We don't have time to lollygag." I looked ahead - fuck. The crowds were still here, trying to figure out what was wrong with the Securitrons. I went to the door I'd kicked open, and held open it's pair, so the hole was wide enough for Yes Man to get through.

"Hey!" I heard someone from the crowd say. "It's that guy from before!"

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?" The crowd started to close in on us. This is bad. "Hey, do you know what's going on? Why have all the robots stopped -" He paused, pointing at Yes Man. "Wait, why is that one still working?"

"Who are you, anyway? You're that Courier, aren't you?" Another voice spoke up. And then another. Then the whole crowd started talking at once.

"Oh my!" Yes Man said, rolling back a bit. "Boy, they sure seem like a lively bunch, don't they! Hi there!" He waved a claw at them. I wasn't quite so diplomatic. Or nice.

"Back up!" I yelled, aiming the carbine at the crowd - but making sure to keep my finger off the trigger. I was just trying to scare them, I wasn't actually going to shoot unarmed civilians. "All of you! Get back!" I cast a glance over my shoulder, and realized Yes Man was rolling backward as well. "Not you, them! Them!"

That seemed to do the trick, at least. Excluding a few stragglers, the crowd dispersed pretty quickly - and the rest that stayed at least backed up, keeping well clear of both myself and the Securitron following me.

"Wow!" Yes Man said as I started running to the Lucky 38; he was rolling next to me on his one wheel, keeping pace. "That was pretty neat! I thought I was the only one programmed to obey everyone's orders! So, what can I call you? And don't worry - if you don't want to answer, I won't pry!"

"Just call me Courier Six for now, Yes Man." The Securitron started laughing.

"Wow, again! That's really a coincidence! I remember when Benny had me locate a courier, so he could kill him and take the Platinum Chip!" I just sighed in my helmet.

"We already had this conversation, remember? I am that courier Benny shot." Yes Man started laughing again, except... it seemed a lot more forced and awkward this time.

"Hah... hah... heh... now, I know that's not true, because you still have a head!"