New System, Who Dis?

Sunday, April 28th, 2069

With a tug and some furious rotations on the reel, I pulled a particularly large Mirror Fish into the shallow waters. Being pulled from the water increased the effective weight of the fish almost instantly, but simultaneously removed its ability to fight back. Using my legs and arms I backed up until the creature was fully ashore. Then I summoned the filet knife from storage with a smile—

“No!—“ Smegma screeched from behind me, causing me to jump and spin with the knife held in front of me defensively. David was getting pretty close to supplying the rod with his Mana Pool, actually managing to get a worm on the line with each attempt, but failing to continue supplying the resource—thus making continued practice necessary.

Smegma had been coaching him using a flower and water metaphor, before his terrifying screech. Now, Dave was staring at empty space with open-mouthed astonishment. My eyes scanned the area, desperately searching for the Demon. Eventually I let them linger on Dave, and he began to sputter, “I didn’t do anything, I swear—umm—suddenly there was some sort of white fog, and it looked like it consumed him. He’s gone.”

White fog?

I blinked as I recalled another time he had vanished and white fog had been involved. Hadn’t that been when the system exchanged out the old Enchant, then directed the stored Mana to the Mining Skill?

What about me almost dying and the shunting? Surely, that wasn’t going to happen again! I dove into my Mental Universe and found white fog coalescing into a small sphere in the same orbit as the ever-enlarging Mining Planet.

My relief only lasted a moment, before I grimaced and recalled that Smegma claimed he also almost died the last time. Hadn’t he talked about a puzzle made of ‘razor blades’ or something? Still, there wasn’t much I could do to help him, other than hope he made it through and formed a new Skill planet—if the Miner’s Pick gave me Mining, then was this going to be Fishing?.

“I think he’ll be back—he kind of vanishes unexpectedly all the time,” I said, without revealing the entire truth. Thinking better of it I told Dave a bit more. “He’s creating another Skill, I think. Probably for Fishing”

“Are you husking kidding me?” Dave shouted as he stood up far too quickly. His shout made me immediately shush him, and look over my shoulder in the direction I knew there to be a massive World-ending-Snake.

Dave’s face stopped reddening and he motioned over his shoulder back toward the animal pen. I nodded but first returned to kill the Mirror Fish while it was still on the line.

Once we were through the pens and into the Smithy, Dave hissed, “You’re getting another Skill?!”

I gave him the maybe gesture of shrugging while looking confused myself. Pointing at the Fishing Rod he was still holding with my own, far more repaired version, I explained my thoughts, “Probably. There’s an Enchant on these that funnels excess Mana to my Overflow Skill. It’s what created the Mining Skill, while almost killing me…” I shivered remembering the message about Shunting. Shaking off the goosebumps I continued, “And now maybe Fishing—“ I stopped as I thought of something. “I wonder if I’ll get a Cooking Skill from using the Frying—“

“Focus, moron!” Dave exclaimed while simultaneously using his rod as a switch to swat my behind. I jumped and looked at him with a confused frown.

“What?”

“I don’t know! I just don’t think it’s husking fair that you are suddenly going to have eight Skills!”

“You do realize we’re trapped in a Portal right?”

Dave grimaced but nodded in confirmation at my words.

We’d kept walking as we chatted and were now back in the Greenhouse, which brought us face to face with Jarred, Willa and my father. They’d spent the morning pulling weeds and churning soil, so we could move it around for pillows. What I hadn’t expected was to find Willa and Jarred now weaving the long green grass-stem-like weeds into ‘blankets.’

Dave’s exclamation about unfairness had drawn all three of their attention, and so I gave the best explanation I could to them all, without divulging the risk to Smegma. I wasn’t sure how they would react to the news of that, considering that in my opinion he was what was keeping us alive down here.

After I was done, my father asked, “Shouldn’t you keep fishing?”

I shook my head. “I caught a fish and left it on shore for now. That's what triggered this. So, we should probably have a small piece each of what is cooked and thawed, finish setting up this room for a long stay, and then go Mine some Crystals.”

“You sure we should attempt that without Smegma being able to scout for us?” My dad asked.

He was right of course. “Good point,” I answered. “Let’s just set up down here and eat fish for today. Hey, who knows maybe Mirage will have dug us out soon.”

Jarred coughed politely which turned all of us in his direction. “While I was in the chamber nearest the collapse, I didn’t hear any indication that they had started trying to clear it.”

I licked my teeth and forced my breathing to remain calm even as my heart hammered in my chest. If they weren’t digging from the other side, just how long would we be down here? Likely until they cleared the Portal—

My mind, ever the ‘fortress,’ logically took me out of that depressing spiral of negative thoughts by running some calculations that indicated a rather positive outcome on the chances of our survival.

One fish could easily feed our little group for multiple days, an increase in time spent down here wasn’t going to get us killed. All we had to do was avoid the White Goblins and wait…

My mind also helpfully decided to tell me the flaw in its own calm, calculative logic. What if this was a permanent Portal or if the Boss to close it was down here with us? If it was the former then they never had to dig out the entrance. They could just keep fighting respawning Lizardmen, farming the Portal for Monster Cores and earning a steady income. If it was the latter, then the guild would have to clear away the cave-in to take out the Boss and close the Portal.

“Don’t worry, they’ll dig us out eventually,” my dad said. “For the Yellow Crystal if nothing else…”

I didn’t fully agree but after I was sure I had control over my facial features I nodded to my father. “You’re right. I’ll go clean and portion out that Fish I just caught. You guys keep working on this room till Smegma returns.”

I figured I could always return to fishing and building a stockpile, while we waited. To Dave I said, “Let’s head back to the Lake then.”

Before leaving to head back to the lake I looked to each of the others in turn, receiving a nod from each of them. We’d wait for Smegma.

We were just going through the Animal Pens when I got a strange sensation of heat well up from near my heart.

“That was so much better!” Smegma announced as he popped into space beside me. It startled me for a moment, but his voice was distinctive enough that I smiled just as quickly. Having him back took a huge weight off my shoulders.

“Better?” I asked, as I exhaled a breath along with a great deal of my earlier stress.

“Yeah, first the puzzle pieces were smaller and less numerous. Second, they came in one at a time, and rather slowly. So, while they were still razor sharp it was Imp-play to complete that Skill Planet.”

“I’ve gotta ask, how is an Enchantment that seems to be able to create Skills of equal value to one that can create Crystals?” I asked, trying to figure out why the System banned and destroyed the first one—only to give me this one.

“Skill limits, kid,” Smegma reminded me. “Eventually, you’ll probably fill yourself up with nothing but useless Gathering Skills…” I froze at his response, unsure if I believed that. Sure, I believed that the System would have limits to the amount of Skills one person could have—but ever since Demonic Vault had called Overdraft and Classes sub-Skills, it just felt like Limits couldn’t be the entire story.

Or at least it didn’t seem to explain the disparity I was seeing.

My internal thoughts did seem to force the Demon to pause. As usual he assumed his thinking pose, but this one seemed off. He looked confused. No, not exactly. He looked… worried?

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Hmm?” Smegma startled slightly. “Well your thoughts highlighted something to me. You see, the System doesn’t make mistakes, so I just gave a rather straightforward and simplistic answer. Maybe I was even a little glib.” He gave me an apologetic smile but didn’t bother actually apologizing.

“Okay?” I prompted, confused about where Smegma was going. “But thinking about sub-Skills and the ability to continually create Skills got you thinking?”

“Yeah…” Smegma said thoughtfully. “When I said the System doesn’t make mistakes, what I mean is not that it can’t, but just that it doesn’t. It’s not in its nature. You might think of the System as a very advanced program from one of your ‘computer-things,’ though that’s a terrible analogy that doesn’t even begin to do the phenomena that the System is any justice whatsoever. Still, thinking about it as a computer with programmed responses might help understand a vital aspect of the System’s nature. The System is justice. It is fair—but an executioner blade’s justness and just as unforgiving. You can’t reason with it, or befriend it, or bribe it. The System is precisely, unwaveringly, unequivocally, and impossibly impartial. It is a core aspect of its principles.”

“Alright. So, it’s like binary code. Its response to a situation takes in all the available data and spits out a response,” Dave interjected. “So what’s the big deal?”

“The ‘big deal’,” Smegma scoffed as he looked to Dave condescendingly, “is that what the System has done here with this Enchantment, is definitely not an Equivalent Exchange. That’s what the idiot over there said along with his thoughts that clued me into the disparity.”

“You say that like it is explaining the problem and not just reiterating what I already tried to point out.” I answered, somewhat annoyed at the recap and Smegma calling me stupid again.

“But it does explain it!. The term Equivalent Exchange is an explanation my Research team created to help us understand a fundamental law of the System. Like for like. Impartiality.” Smegma began hovering back and forth as if he was pacing. “When you activated the Enchantment on the Pickaxe, the System intervened. Which is no small matter.

“Not ever.

“It put you on Trial, Brodie. System Trials are…” The Demon shuddered. “They’re rare. Nearly unheard of, except as vague legends and threats to children to get them to go to sleep. They are the universal Boogeyman, if we’re speaking in Earth terms. What’s more was that you were found innocent. That… doesn’t happen. If you’re in a position to be Tried by the System, that scary son of a bitch makes Mr. Varnish look like a toddler playing with a gavel. If the System is ‘taking you to court’, so to speak—it already has all the evidence it needs, don’t you see? Yet somehow, you were found innocent. Which means that the System either made a mistake—or something about that Miner’s Pick made it take action.”

A chill ran down my spine as Smegma’s words finally sunk in. I’d assumed with something as large as the System and Earth, that these sorts of trials and bugs in the code were pretty common. However, with something that had perfected itself over billions of years. Just how many more errors could it have?

That thought alone made me question Smegma’s continued assertions that the System never made mistakes. The System sounded like it made constant changes to itself, or at least to how it functioned on different worlds. That was in essence an attempt to better itself. To fix things within its own ‘code’ to help users, right?

Rather than argue, I decided to focus on Smegma’s concerns, since I was smack in the middle of them.

“So…” I swallowed. “What does that have to do with these new Skills?”

“Equivalent Exchange.” Smegma whispered. “The System took something from you, Brodie… Tell me. Do you know how much an F-ranked Mining Skill costs in my Shop?”

I blinked at the sudden change in subject. “Uhh. Maybe? I’m pretty sure we looked at a lot of Skills a while back.”

The Demon nodded. “Two-hundred and fifty thousand Mana coins, for an F-ranked Mining Skill. Now, do you remember how much Mana was in your Pick when the System broke the Enchantment?”

Dave looked at me, his eyes widening as if he understood where Smegma was going. I hated that he was somehow ahead of me already—even though I was the one being impacted by it all.

I thought back to the prompt from Demonic Vault when I purchased the Pick all that time ago. “A thousand? I’m pretty sure it was a round number like that and one hundred seems like too little and ten-thousand, well… that’s a lot.”

“Exactly.” Smegma smiled grimly. “But we’ve already talked about the fact that the System didn’t Exchange the Enchantment on the pickaxe for your Mining Skill, Brodie.”

“Right.” I said, almost forgetting the distinction. It hadn’t given me the Skill. Not exactly. What it had done was that it had seemed to put an Enchantment that funneled Mana from the Miner’s Pick, and now the Fishing Rod into my Overdraft Skill…

“Not just into your Overdraft Skill, but in a specific way. Right now you just have the Overdraft Skill targeting you in general,” Smegma clarified, clearly picking up on my surface thoughts. “You could theoretically target Demonic Vault, Mining, Fishing or any one of your Skills to help them level.”

“Right I remember you wanting me to target you at first. So the System made the new Enchant do what? Create and continually level a new Skill… Not just funnel the Mana into an existing one?” I asked.

“Every single Profession item in my Shop now has that same Enchantment. Each of the Skills associated with them would cost you at a minimum two-hundred and fifty thousand Mana Coins to purchase, and the System created and replicated that Enchantment on each item. Then if you’re right in the thought that these Gathering Skills are classified as sub-Skills of my Skill or maybe some weird sub-sub-Skill since it's technically Overdraft that’s creating the Skill. Then that would mean what I said earlier doesn’t even apply. That the System isn’t penalizing you by adding a somewhat shitty Skill that takes up Cap space. Not only that, the Enchantment is so efficient that it can create that very Skill with less than a thousand Mana absorbed from the Profession item.”

“Wait, what?” I said, shocked. Dave was nodding along making me even more confused as my friend seemed to be following the conversation better than I was.

“I told you. The Exchange was the Enchantment, not the Skill.” Smegma shook his head as if he, too, were in disbelief. “The Skill formed because it had met the requisite threshold of Mana.” The Demon looked at me. “Which was not even the total inside the Pickaxe at the time…”

“Shunting…” I breathed. This finally made Dave’s face scrunch up in confusion, which I will grudgingly admit made me happy.

“Wait, back up,” Dave interjected. “What’s Shunting?”

I explained my near death experience and the messages from the System after the trial. Dave nodded along like I’d somehow given him a puzzle piece he was missing. “So, you’re saying that it took the Mana from the pickaxe that was meant to create a Crystal, used some of it to create the Mining Skill and then had to Shunt off a great deal more to stop you from literally exploding.”

I nodded and Dave smiled. I narrowed my eyes. That didn’t seem like the type of thing he should be smiling about. He explained a moment later, “I’m just happy the Skills didn’t come entirely free!”

My eyes rolled and I punched Dave in the arm, before I started to turn back to Smegma. Dave stopped me though. “I do think I see where some of you two idiots have confused things though.”

Smegma and I both turned to stare incredulously at Dave. Smegma pointed at Dave menacingly, even as he growled, “Okay! Now you have our attention. Time to back those words up, imbecile.”

“Let’s say that the Pick took in a thousand Mana, right?” Dave began, waiting for Smegma and me to nod before continuing. “So a thousand Mana would be what, an E-rank Crystal?” I looked to Smegma who nodded, but also made it clear with a hand motion that it wasn’t that simple. Dave shrugged away the need for Smegma to elaborate and continued. “So, it was collecting Mana Spillage from F-rank Crystals and creating something greater, right?”

“Husk,” Smegma whispered, sounding like he was seeing something that Dave was saying, where I definitely wasn’t.

“Stop talking to each other and tell me what the husk is going on!” I complained.

“Well, there’s two possibilities here, Brodie,” Dave explained. “Either it was collecting Mana as we think of it in Points. Then it was creating something greater than it took in, to some extent. So, then what would happen if you were Mining in an S-rank Mine?”

“It would be filled with each swing,” I answered. “Still not getting what you’re saying, though.”

“This part is totally hypothetical. But what if that thousand points was a progress bar? Or it grew with the Pick? What if it popped out Crystals based on the Picks rank and not the Crystals you were mining? Could you fill it with F-rank Crystals and get S-rank?”

“Holy hells,” I whispered, going silent like Smegma had.

“If that was a progress bar,” Smegma began. “Then it starts to make some sense. It didn’t just have a thousand Mana, it had the potential to essentially Create more from less. The System called it a Creation Enchant, didn’t it? And the Funnel Enchant was Growth Grade. I was going to say a thousand Mana shouldn’t be enough for a Skill, Brodie. It shouldn’t be enough to pop you like a balloon either. So, either the System gave you something of more value than it took, or it gave you a highly efficient Funnel Enchant to replace something that would have grown and become astronomically powerful.”

“See, I told you I thought I had the answer,” Dave bragged but then immediately sobered. “Still, I can’t begin to imagine how something that can endlessly create Skills would be worth the Creation Enchantment, even with everything I just said. It just raises its value to make the exchange closer to equivalent.”

Smegma was quiet for a long time, his eyes unfocused. Finally, he spoke. “I’m missing memories, Brodie.”

“Yeah, you mentioned something about that. You get new memories when Demonic Vault upgrades, or updates or something like that.”

“Updates. Yeah.” Smegma confirmed.

“And you think, what? You might have memories that would make sense of what is going on here?” I asked.

“That’s exactly what I think.” The Demon nodded. “And we need to find that answer as soon as we possibly can.”

“What do you mean? How? I’m doing everything I can, and if you’ve forgotten, we’re kind of stuck in a Portal. Maybe even on some desolate planet somewhere out in the universe. What more do you want me to do?”

“I’m not sure, but I do have some ideas. I just need to flesh them out a bit and figure out the best way forward, for everyone.”

“Okay,” I huffed, slightly exasperated. “Well you just tell me when you get it all figured out, alright? Now, what should we do in the meantime?”

I changed the subject, not wanting to dwell on the weight of everything Smegma had just revealed.

“We had just decided to wait to Mine till you return, but I never expected you to be this fast,” I explained. “Should we go back to the earlier plan from this morning?”

Smegma nodded. “I still can’t be sure but something feels off about how fast those Goblins left. Let’s keep fishing for now, I want to see if they come back with reinforcements.”

“We’ll keep to the same strategy as earlier?” Dave asked. Smegma nodded, and Dave turned around to head back to the Grow Room. “I'll let the other’s know the plan. They’ll be happy to know our Scout is back.”

Smegma floated after Dave, “I’ll join you—maybe we can keep discussing hypotheses of what’s going on without being held back by a dumb-dumb.”

“I’m right here!” I growled, but began walking away toward the Lake, knowing there wasn’t much I could do to stop the two jackasses without making it worse.

* * *

“It’s not so bad,” Dave said from beside me, as he channeled Mana to the rod. I smiled, having already caught two more fish this morning before my Mana Pool of fifty ran dry. It was an excessive amount of meat and I’d stored it all in the Necklace along with the rest—making the Holding space over half full. The bones and guts I tossed back into the lake, just like I had the previous day with the four I’d managed to catch. I’d debated about using it for bait, but Smegma assured me that was a bad idea.

According to him I was only managing to pull the Fish ashore thanks to the Mana Pulses of the Rod, and the enchantments that my steady supply of Mana activated. That and to a far lesser degree my Strength.

Still, now I watched Dave closely as he prepared to cast his first line into the water. I just couldn’t be sure what would happen to someone without a Strength Stat of ten. I was still embarrassed about thinking I was ten times stronger than I had been, but no one could actually give me a decent answer on how much of a difference the Stat made. Sure, I was strong but just how much stronger was tough to measure. I hadn’t gone to the gym or tried lifting anything since I’d gotten it—which I was regretting at the moment.

However, I figured if I was right beside Dave I would be able to assist in dragging the Fish into shore if there was even a hint of him being overpowered. According to Dave’s Awakening assessment, admittedly a better and more expensive version of the standardized one I’d received, it showed that he had thirty points of Mana, which meant he should be able to pull in one Fish, if I went off of my experiences.

Almost as soon as the Mana Worm hit the water and pulsed, the line tightened, indicating a bite. Dave tugged once, and snagged the fish, making my eyebrows raise. It often took me four or five bites before I snagged a Fish on the line. Dave managed to reel in a few feet of line before the fish reacted. Then just, like I expected, the Mirror Fish tugged back. Hard. I wrapped my arms around Dave’s stomach, ready to save him—and discovered that Dave’s weight barely shifted forward. Sure, his arms and legs tensed, and sweat broke out on his face and forehead as he resisted, but it was also clear that his weight and braced feet would be enough to resist the tug.

I stayed poised and ready to help with my arms still clasped around his stomach, though, just in case I was missing something. Dave, having seen me struggle and knowing of my Strength, didn’t complain. Instead, he focused on executing the technique I had ‘discovered’ previously.

[What was discovered? I literally had to feed you the method, like a mama bird and her disgusting featherless chick, you ingrate!] Smegma chastised me internally, clearly not wanting to distract Dave—since this was the first true test of his connection with his Mana Pool.

I pointedly ignored Smegma. Pulse, pull and reel.

I began to relax on the second successful pull, and subsequent counter-pull that didn’t move my friend. It wasn’t until the fifteenth that I felt a change. The line pulsed, and Dave moved to pull back on the rod, but instead, seemed to go limp in my loosened grip.

“You okay?” I asked. I craned my neck forward to look at my friend and found him pale and drenched in sweat. His eyes were half closed, his breathing shallow and fast. “Dave?!” I questioned further.

He gave me a weak grin before grunting, “I’m out of Mana.”

“Oh,” I managed to say, before shaking myself into action and repeating. “Oh!”

In a somewhat jerky and awkward motion, I snatched the Fishing Pole and pulled back on both it and Dave, even as I channeled my small remaining amount of Mana into the rod through my new fledgling Soul Nervous System method. Dave thankfully, cranked the reel which stopped me from having to try to awkwardly grab the handle over his hand.

I only noticed then just how much more line he drew in thanks to my powerful tug on the rod and line. No wonder he ran out of Mana sooner than me.

Disappointedly, I also ran out of Mana before we could get the Fish to breach the surface, and I was forced to use the Filleting Knife to cut the line. I wasn’t sure it would be sharp enough at first, but the line thankfully broke without much effort. I toggled on my Heat Sense and watched as the large Fish took off from the shallows to move far deeper into the lake and out of my range.

“That wasn’t bad,” I said, as I let go of Dave. I then joined him in a boneless collapse onto my butt.

Dave gasped in lungfuls of air before he turned to address me. “I’m just glad that shitty Demon—“

“Isn’t here to see your budding bromance taking its next step?” A shrill voice asked. “That hug sure was long and tight!”

“God dammit!” Dave finished, as Smegma floated from the wall that held the ledge we’d traversed yesterday.

“The other group is finished prepping the room, and I still haven’t seen a sign of more White Goblins. So, if you two are finished getting closer I think it's time to try Mining.”

“I know you’re just jealous that you can’t touch anyone, or anything. Is little Smegma feeling lonely?” I retorted between gasps for air.

“Yeah, cause I’m just dying for a reach around like that!” Smegma countered annoyingly fast.

“Woah,” I held up my hands in surrender. “You quickly jumped on the gay-train there. I’m not judging. I’ll still love you like a brother, it’s just that I was talking about some attention from a Dominatrix Demoness or something.”

Smegma glared around, but Dave snorted. “Let me guess you watched for a while and were thinking of things to say,” Dave interjected before Smegma could respond. His words were also forced out between lungfuls of air. “It’s kind of sad the best you could come up with was a homo joke. Do better!”

“Shut up. You two Greeds only ever retort with penis jokes.”

“That’s ‘cause we have penises,” I pointed out.

“So, that means you have to always bring them up?” Smegma questioned. I truly hadn’t expected a response in that direction, from my own childish jab.

“Bring it up?” I asked, pretending to be shy. “Well you might not remember this but sometimes when you wake up it's just like that. It’s a normal biological function for us men.”

Even Dave rolled his eyes this time, at my rather lame comeback.

“See what I mean?!” Smegma practically shouted. “It’s just phalluses and manliness with you humans.”

I nearly felt bad for the Demon. Nearly. However, being the magnanimous and upright specimen that I was, I graciously accepted my ‘victory’ and stopped poking the bear. Admittedly, I was pretty sure Smegma gave as good as he got in that two on one.

Smegma noticed that Dave and I seemed finished with the witty retorts and waited for us to recover with a scowl that showed far too many fangs. It might’ve also been why we stood up earlier than we probably should have to follow him back to the others.

* * *

“Go back!” Smegma shouted as soon as he popped into space beside me. “They’re waiting in rooms two floors above you.”

“Shit,” I said, even as others swore as well. I turned on my Heat Sense and saw a few outlines rushing towards the stairs above us. “Hurry!” I shouted, adding urgency to Smegma’s warning.

It wasn’t needed, but I figured it couldn’t hurt.

The group spun on the top step and returned the way we’d come at a dead sprint. We’d been climbing with caution, thanks entirely to Smegma’s ‘gut-feeling’ that something wasn’t right.

[Even with being cautious we might still be caught!] I thought, even as my semi-weakened legs pounded down the steps to the lower levels.

“Don’t panic,” Smegma coached, likely responding to my thoughts but directing the words to everyone—I hoped. “They’re big and bulky, so not exactly fast. As long as you get to the lake before them and around that corner you should be okay.”

As I spun at the bottom of the current flight and moved to take the next stairs which were stacked under it. As I did, I heard a guttural growl followed by a terrifying howl. I glanced up and met eyes with a pair of milky white orbs set in the scarred and blackened face of a White Goblin.

I would have frozen in place if my father didn’t bump into my back and shove me. The jolt got me moving again, even as my brain calculated how close behind us they were. And Smegma had said that they weren’t fast?