Natasha the Halve

Bromisnar and Pokora arrived shortly after and we looked for a nice place to have lunch. We settled on a cozy restaurant where we had a nice meal.

After that we fetched our mounts and began our trip back to our place.

I gave little attention to my surroundings beyond avoiding pedestrians and stopping at every intersection for five seconds. My focus was on pondering what Yolin said about having children.

How would it work? I wondered, looking up at the suns for a second. I followed the shape of the tall buildings around us until my eyes reached ground level. Am I fertile in the first place?

A group of kids crossed the street and I sopped Sonya to let them pass.

I appraised them and saw their races and levels. My eyes followed them until the other side of the road, then I looked forward and patted the Ratnak's neck for her to resume walking.

If we have kids, they'd be Demi, I thought while looking around.

Every person I saw had a species, race, level, and class.

But I haven't seen any... I bit my lips and sighed. Are they that uncommon? Or is it a term people use to differentiate them? I... don't want my children to face discrimination. I realized something and a chuckle escaped me. I doubt someone would bully a Halve's kids. That'd be literal suicide.

A few roars from above caught my attention and I gazed at the flying creatures soaring the skies.

I don't even know how often my cycle will come. I cringed a little inside. 'Cycle'. Such a weird way to call it. Will I even menstruate? I can nut, but can I produce sperm? What do I even have? I don't have testicles... do I have ovaries? Testovaries? I laughed at that. That's dumb even for me.

My sudden laugh attracted the attention of a few pedestrians who waved at me.

I smiled and waved back, then returned to my thoughts, The Priest back in Riverfield mentioned the difference in levels should be less than 10% for successful pregnancy. So... 135? That would be... hmm... 1215? But why? Would my 'seed' be too... what? Strong? I chuckled at the thought of my sperm beating Alyssa's ovum. Then, I had a small enlightenment. Ah, the chemicals... I see. This is fucking complicated. And if a person with a penis were to nut inside me, their seed would be too weak to fertilize my ovum? Doesn't make much sense. Well... if I don't crush their penis before they nut, anyway. Also, what? If I get pregnant, wouldn't the contractions when going into labor kill the baby? I bit my lips. I need to read the pertinent research. Having kids seems a bit more complicated than I expected... and our cycles have to match. Fuck... I covered my eyes and rubbed my eyes. This is not something I have to think by myself. And it's a bit too soon to be thinking of children anyway. I looked at Yolin on top of Pochi and squinted my eyes at her. Yolin said she doesn't want children before turning three thousand. I glanced at Bromisnar. He'll die of old age before that.

The sudden shift of thoughts from creating life to the awareness that death inevitably comes for us all made me a bit gloomy.

I'll live ten thousand years... that's twice as long as my girlfriends. I let out a heavy sigh. Will I be able to live with the grief? Alyssa mentioned something about extending lifespan but I doubt she'll be able to double it.

My mood tanked a bit. Still, four to five thousand years is a lot... It's not healthy to go too deep into it.

I kept silent for the rest of the way, thinking of life, death, and time.

By the time we got to our place I was trying to accept things as they were but found a bit of difficulty when trying to grasp periods of times beyond six decades.

We entered the apartment and I slowly made my way to the room I shared with my girlfriends with heavy steps.

I opened the door and found Alyssa and Lapia napping on the bed. They were hugging each other, and the Luzo's tail wrapped them in a tight embrace.

Yolin came in after me and chuckled, then closed the door behind us. She walked over to the bed and laid next to them.

I stood by the door, looking at the three women I had decided to share my life with and felt an indescribable feeling of terror.

If I have a child with them... would the child die before me? If, in two thousand years, I have a little Elvish son with Lapia... would he live five thousand years... meaning until I'm seven thousand years old? Would I live three thousand years after my own son dies? What if he has children? Will I outlive them as well? How about their children?

I felt a knot form on my throat. The prospect of my progeny dying of old age before me scared the shit out of me.

The natural aspect of death I was familiar with was nowhere to be found in my own life. The last moments of my life would not be surrounded by my direct family nor by those I loved. I'd be on a bed looking at faces of people generations away from me.

The feeling was crushing and a tear rolled down my cheek.

Will death numb me to the point of not feeling love anymore? Would I be so devastated by the loss I'll end up killing myself? I looked down at my hands. The golden skin so clean and 'perfect' that belonged to my species. What trial? What reward? That would be no different than the Hell I left behind.

The cold feeling of dread crept up my back and mockingly ticked the base of my skull, attempting to imprison me in a cage of depression and despondency. The venomous thought that having relationships so soon in my life was a mistake reared its ugly head in my mind, threatening to make me feel a regret and guilt so big not even my high strength could lift it.

I balled my fists and looked up to the three on the bed.

Live first, then ponder, I reminded myself, wiping the tear off my face. I carry with me all that is mine.

Yolin had been looking at me through my inner turmoil. She tilted her head and smiled, “We can find another store. I'm sure of it.” She spread her arms and beckoned me with her hands, “Let's laze about for today.”

I smiled at her misunderstanding. With a light laugh I walked over and laid next to her on the bed. “I was thinking about what you said,” I muttered, looking at the ceiling.

“What did I say?” she hugged me and guided my head to rest on her shoulder.

“About having children,” I replied, looking into her eyes. “Then I had a small moment of over-analyzing my longevity.”

She nodded, “I see.”

Her soothing voice relaxed me, and I closed my eyes. I focused on the other two's breathing.

The light of the suns entered the room through a window I had no courage to look through, kissing my skin and bringing me a much needed calm.

“It's a little scary,” I said after a few minutes, returning the hug. “Ten thousand years is unfathomable.”

The Oni brushed my hair and hummed. “I can imagine,” she softly whispered. “Going from seventy to ten thousand tops... quite the increase.” She kissed my forehead and wrapped me in her arms, nestling my head in her chest. “We're here for you, Natasha. Don't carry your worries on your own.”

I nodded, feeling the woman's breasts on my cheeks. “Will my children die before me?” I asked in a quiet voice. “Will you?”

“Most likely,” Yolin confirmed my thoughts with a nod. “But it's what we do while we're alive that matters. One day, maybe nine thousand years from now, you'll look back to this very moment and smile at the memory. Death doesn't have to be painful.”

I nodded. “Life should,” I chuckled.

“That's right,” she giggled and pulled me into a kiss. “Life is also amazing,” she whispered into my lips.

I licked her lips and smiled. “It truly is amazing. Like right now.” I looked into her blue eyes and smiled, feeling a warm tickle in my tummy. “I'm horny.”

She arched an eyebrow and gave me a wide smile. “How did you call it? Rearrange innards?”

I smiled widely and giggled. “Yeah,” I breathed and closed into her, sealing her lips.

Her tusks poked my lips which got a chuckle out of me.

I focused on the present, drowning on the feeling of the Oni's lips and tongue against my own. Her hard arms around me made me feel safe and protected, and her muscular torso against my own gave me peace. The much older woman managed to ease my worries with her presence and a few words.

Truly a tank, I thought, nibbling her red lips and licking her black tongue.

The delicious taste of smoked salmon tickled my tongue and I let out a tiny moan of satisfaction.

I sneaked a hand under her shirt and followed the shape of her back muscles with my fingers.

Yoling tightened her arms around me and closed her eyes.

I chuckled and took a deep breath, then blew air into her mouth.

Her cheeks puffed and her eyes opened wide in surprise.

“Hahahaha!” I laughed and nestled my head on her neck. “Your face was so funny!”

“You little shit!” she giggled and put her arms on my ribs. “Here's payback.”

Her fingers rubbed and dug on my skin against my ribs.

I raised my eyebrows and waited in silence. I'm not ticklish, unfortunately.

“So you've chosen tickling, I see,” I muttered with a villainous tone. I placed my hands on her ribs.

She froze and tried squeezing my hands with her arms. “Natasha... We may break the bed.”

“HOOH?” I leaned in and gave her a soft kiss. “We?”

The Oni's face turned panicked. “Alyssa and Lapia are sleeping.”

I nodded with a serious face, “That's-”

The sound of someone clicking their tongue silenced us.

“SHUT UUUPP!!” Alyssa's loud voice echoed in the room.

It was too late. We awoke the Dragon.

“CAN'T A WOMAN TAKE A NAP, FOR ALL THAT IS SACRED IN THE WORLD?!” the Luzo shouted, sitting up and giving us a death glare. “Ohh! How society has turned decrepit and allows for people to interrupt the rest of others!!” she shook her head and let out an exasperated sigh. “The old tales of Halves say 'They shall do good for the benefit of the people' but I haven been slighted today!!”

Shiiiiiit! I thought with a wince and hid my face in Yolin's ample chest.

The Oni snored, trying to play it off as being asleep.

“Oh no, you won't,” Alyssa growled and approached us.

I felt a scaly hand grab my shoulder and try to push me away from Yolin.

We tightened up, preventing anything the Luzo attempted to do.

“What's wrong?” Lapia's groggy voice followed. “What's with the shouting?”

Alyssa gasped and let my shoulder go, “Lapia, I'm sorry for waking you up.”

I heard a soft slap and then received one on my shoulder.

“These two were laughing and making noise next to us,” Alyssa explained with a little anger. “Woke me up and all.”

I cracked an eye open and saw Alyssa's red eyes staring at me, then quickly closed it.

“I know you're awake, Natasha...” the healer grumbled. “I saw you open an eye. You won't fool me.”

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, then looked around the room as if I had just woken up. “What's going on?” I asked in a tired voice and yawned.

“You think this is funny?” Alyssa asked with a serious tone and face. “I've never seen you yawn before.”

I tilted my head, “That doesn't mean-”

She raised an eyebrow and frowned, which got me to shut up.

Lapia sighed.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “My bad. We didn't intend on waking you up.”

“Oh?” Alyssa raised her chin. “And what, pray tell, were you doing?”

I shrugged, “I had a bit of a bad moment and then, you know... tried coping with humor.”

Her face relaxed and she closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and then sighed and opened her eyes. “What happened? Is everything alright?”

I glanced at Yolin.

She still had her eyes closed.

I looked back at Alyssa and nodded. “All good. Just... went too deep into thinking about life and death.”

Lapia hummed.

Alyssa covered her face and rubbed her eyes. “I can forgive you for interrupting my sleep,” she muttered, then straightened up and gave me a gentle smile. “Only if you rely on us with your worries.”

I gave her an apologetic smile. “Sorry for waking you up.”

She shrugged. “I think giving you emotional support is more important than a nap, Natasha.”

“Same,” Lapia muttered from behind Alyssa.

Her words made me feel fuzzy and warm inside.

I hugged Yolin and rolled on the bed until I was next to Alyssa, then opened one arm and gestured for her to join the hug.

She sighed and laid her body on top of mine.

I turned to Lapia and she rolled until she was on top of my extended arm. I hugged the three and smiled, then shared my worries with them.

They listened and gave me their own views.

It wasn't a simple issue that could be waved away with a 'don't worry about it' response.

We spent the following hours talking and discussing longevity, life, death, and time.

I really am a blessed woman.