Natasha the Halve

As I sang and played the piano, an alarming sensation took place withing me.

My fingers moved without issue, my voice came out normal, my sight and hearing worked as they should. I felt a threatening bubbling in my stomach. The kind that nobody wishes to feel when in front of an audience. The stuff of nightmares.

I have never had anxiety issues. If anything, I could be considered an extrovert before the pandemics, and I may have missed going out with a violent passion.

No. I was about to shit myself. Literally. My stomach turned, and I began sweating a little.

Where will you be when diarrhea strikes? I joked in my mind.

As the song ended, a little nausea gripped my mind and I wanted to rush to the bathroom with all my strength.

I clenched my ass and stood up with a titanic effort. The crowd cheered, but I couldn't give less than a shit about it, ironically.

The woman that brought the piano returned and I approached her with despairing need.

“Excuse me,” I called out to her. “Where is the bathroom?”

She gave me a polite smile and turned her back to the audience.

“There's a door at the other side of the counter,” she said. “The door to the right is what you're looking for.”

I muttered a word of thanks and bailed.

'Bathroom' I sent Lapia through the Bond.

My path was blocked by enthusiastic patrons, saying things I couldn't care to hear. I just smiled and made my way towards salvation. I was on a crusade to free myself.

Someone breathed out smoke and I almost threw up when the fumes hit my face. I covered my mouth and picked up speed, pushing people aside and zooming through the space. Words were said, but I just powered through. I was about to throw up and shit myself at the same time. It was unpleasant and worrying.

I made it to the door, and pushed it open. The thing came off the hinges and fell to the ground. I walked over it and looked for the door to the right. My bowels were burning, my fingers were going numb, my hearing felt distant, and my skin itched all over.

What the fuck is going on? I wondered as I reached the next door, literally breaking through the thing.

A set of stalls welcomed me and I rushed to the closest one in an instant. I grabbed the door and ripped it off. Thankfully nobody was inside. I stored the thing and sat on the toilet. Pulling my panties down, I relaxed and allowed nature to take the wheel.

Nothing came out, though. I rested my elbows on my knees, and my head on my hands.

“What the fuck?” I whispered.

“Are you alright, Lady?” a childish voice said from far away.

I looked up and saw a kid standing in front of me. There was no stall door, so she was staring at me from outside. She was wearing a simple linen shirt and a pair of shorts.

“I'm fine, just give me some space,” I replied with a shaky voice. “I'm feeling a little unwell, but it's alright.”

[Shishi Tigea Child, Lvl 9]

“I have some medicine if you want it,” she offered, taking a small vial from her shorts' pocket and showing it.

Medicine! I thought, and facepalmed.

“You're a genius, kid,” I chuckled and retrieved the best healing potion I had from my storage.

“Wait, Lady!” she took a step closer. “If you drink that, you may get worse. My uncle is an alchemist, so I know!”

I stared at the bottle in my right hand. It was a fat bottle with a turquoise liquid inside. It glowed a little, too. If I saw it and didn't know what it was, I'd mistake it for some foul concoction.

“It's alright,” I struggled to smile. I was getting worse by the second. “This is a very powerful elixir that'll heal me.”

“But I want you to drink my medicine,” she sadly whispered.

I saw a few tears forming on the edges of her eyes, and a pout formed on her face.

“Listen here, you little shit!” I hissed. “I don't give a fuck about your little medicine. You're being disrespectful by not leaving me alone. Where are your parents, anyway? Who bothers people when I'm clearly taking a shit?! I'm gonna talk with your parents after I'm done here!”

The kid began crying, unfortunately. She took another step closer and threw the vial in my direction.

“You're an idiot!” she shouted.

I was in a state of flight or fight. My innards felt like they were melting, and I was admittedly scared of not knowing what was going on.

A shield materialized in my hands and I blocked the vial, which broke on impact.

The liquid dripped, and I watched in horror as it made a hole on the floor. Blue-ish smoke came off from the reaction. I popped the cork of my elixir and drank the contents right away.

All the bad sensations vanished and I stood up, covering my privates with the shield to not flash the kid. Then, I pulled my panties up before storing the piece of armor along with the empty bottle.

I stared at the floor for a few seconds, the hole kept widening. It was close to twenty centimeters in diameter, and about a finger in depth. I held my breath and closed my eyes, then went over the hole as I grabbed the kid after I walked out of the stall.

I stopped near the door, which had a hole the size of my body. Taking a deep breath, I put the crying kid down and tried to calm myself.

So. Somebody used a kid to try and kill me, I thought. I may have been poisoned, too.

I sighed, staring at the little catgirl. I squatted down and put a hand on her small shoulder.

“My bad,” I began. “You see, my tummy felt really bad. You know how it goes, right?”

“Bu-but! You called me a little shit!” she cried harder.

“You were being naughty,” I explained. “Maybe don't be rude to people, and people won't be rude to you?”

“Okay...” she said, and sobbed. “I'm sorry...”

After a minute, she calmed down.

“Who gave you the vial?” I asked. “The medicine went bad, you see. Maybe we should let them know and they can improve.”

“A waitress gave it to me,” she said, wiping her nose. “My mama works here, and my dad went away on a chase so she has nobody to leave me with.”

“What about your uncle?” I asked. “You said he's an Alchemist?”

“He comes to see us sometimes, but it's been a while,” she muttered, a little sadness in her eyes.

Fuck me sideways.

“It's okay,” I rubbed my eyes. Then asked her, “Why did you offer the medicine to me?”

“She said a golden lady would come to the bathroom,” she explained with a smile. “She said she'll give me a reward if I gave you the medicine.”

“Who's she?” I asked with a smile. “I may need to thank her.”

“Sussanna,” she giggled. “She's my mama's friend.”

I nodded.

“Did she say anything about anyone else?” I asked next.

If my lovers were poisoned as well, I'd skin the perpetrators alive.

Alyssa is with them, I told myself. She could heal poisons.

The kid shook her head.

“She only told me about you.”

I nodded.

“Thank you, uh. My name's Natasha,” I introduced myself. “What's your name?”

“Olivia!” she said with a smile.

The little shit that cried was nowhere to be seen. Handling kids is an art.

“You've been a very good girl, Olivia,” I gave her a thumbs up. “Now my tummy doesn't hurt anymore.”

The kid nodded and laughed.

I heard a door open behind me, and I turned my head.

An Elmari Elf walked out of the stall next to the one I used, dragging a female Lupum by the neck. I recognized the Elf immediately. She was the woman that had been staring at me as if I killed her parents.

[Elmari Elf, Lvl 300 Sniper]

Fuck.

“This is the woman you've been talking about,” she said, dropping the unconscious Lupum in front of me. Her voice was monotone, and her eyes didn't shift in the slightest.

She had short, pitch-black hair that didn't go past her jaw, making her long ears stand out even more. Her skin was whiter than snow, and she was wearing a sleeveless shirt, a pair of leather pants, and sandals.

I looked at the woman on the floor, wearing a waitress uniform.

[Lupum, Lvl 98 Brewer]

I stood up and equipped my armor, helmet included. I also summoned the shield, placing it in front of Olivia in case the Elf had bad intentions. The thing was a pretty wide circular piece of metal similar to my armor. I had no time to appraise it at the moment, however.

The Elf gave me a short nod and continued talking.

“I heard her say something about poisoning the alcohol they'd serve you,” she told me with a blank face. “I guess the only thing that happened was that you had an upset stomach, instead of killing you. Then, as permitted by International Law, I apprehended and interrogated her on the basis of conspiring against a Protector.”

This escalated quickly, I thought.

“You're a Watcher?” I asked her, a little skeptic.

“No,” she replied with a shake of her head. “It's like hunting season, but permanent against those who conspire against Protectors. The entire world is there to help you, as you helped the entire world millions of years ago. Naturally, most people leave you alone to deal with it since you're unreachable, in a way. It's dangerous to face those who wish to harm your species. You don't get in the way of a madman and expect not to get hurt.”

She talked a whole lot for someone with an expressionless face.

“Why leave her alive?” I asked.

“Killing people is not my hobby,” she simply said. “Watchers exist for a reason.”

“Sure,” I said, turning to the kid. “Olivia, how about you go to your mama? I'm gonna talk with the two ladies for a while. It seems Sussanna doesn't feel too good.”

“Is she going to be okay?” she asked, gripping her shirt.

“She will,” I lied. “I have more medicine, remember?”

“Right,” she said, taking a step back. “I'll let my mama know, okay?”

“Alright,” I gave a nod.

The kid turned around and left the bathroom through the hole on the door. I stored my shield and faced the Elf as I walked to the unconscious woman.

Who lied? I wondered. A tavern waitress can't possibly have concocted a poison that affected me. If anything, the Elf looks suspicious as fuck.

I nodded. After the kid left, anger boiled inside me. My life was endangered once again, and I'd do the same to those who attempted to kill me, even if they failed.

“Makes sense,” I muttered.

With two quick steps, I grabbed the Elf by the neck and lifted her.

“Ngnhn?!” her eyes widened, but I applied enough pressure to keep her from talking.

She grabbed my arm and tried freeing herself with no success. Her legs flung around, kicking my armor. I didn't budge in the slightest.

“Now,” I began. “I'm not really a violent woman, but you're telling me a level ninety-eight waitress is responsible for poisoning me and attempting to kill me. That sounds like bullshit.”

She shook her head, and a few tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Did you poison a Luzo?” I asked, and tightened my fingers around her neck.

She shook her head.

“How about an Elf?” I asked.

She shook her head again.

“An Oni?” she shook her head. “A Satyr?” again no. “A Tigea?”

Again she shook her head.

With my other hand, I stretched a finger and placed it right above her left clavicle.

“Are you lying to me?” I asked.

She denied it once more. I pressed against the soft tissue with a little force and her face contorted in pain.

“Is there a way for me to know you're not lying? I don't really fancy torture, but I'm not a paragon of justice either.”

She nodded.

“I'm going to let go of your neck now,” I closed in on her. Then, I whispered, “If you scream, you die.”

She nodded again and I relaxed my grip on her neck. I didn't let go, though. Risks are for fools.

“Who-cough!” she choked and blinked a few times.

“Who?” I pressed her to continue.

She looked at me and said, in a quick barrage of words, something that shocked me to my core.

“Who was in Paris?” she asked. Then continued, “Hoho? You're approaching me? Rush B!”

As she finished, she began crying. I let her go and she fell down on the floor.

Well... this is fucked up... I thought, looking up at the bathroom ceiling. I felt the cold hand of regret grip my soul.