Natasha the Halve

I went back outside and continued with my attempt at magic, but had no luck. Elena's interference got me too angry to focus on conjuration. With a tight jaw, a long sigh left me.

Elena's behavior was too annoying even for someone who had just recovered her memories.

Trauma is no excuse for being an insufferable cunt, and whoever says it is, they're plain wrong and probably a retard, I concluded, looking around.

“Young Halve,” Shorvanna spoke up. “Why does Pokh'Orra find the word retard so insulting? She gets slightly angry whenever you say it.”

I shrugged while sighing. “Why are you asking me? She's the one who has an issue with it,” I replied without much care.

Words are just words. An empty stomach actually hurts as opposed to being called a retard, after all. Any other opinion is privileged, therefore irrelevant.

“Let's work on Abyssal,” Shorvanna suggested. “We can get back to conjuration later.”

“Sure,” I agreed and stored the spear that was still on the ground. “Lock the obelisk, then.”

Abyssal had been the slowest of the 'subjects' I had been given lessons in. It had to be done outside of the Temple, we had to make sure no sentient life was around to avoid corruption, and I had to whisper very softly to make sure it didn't reach too far.

“Done,” Shorvanna replied after a short dance from E'er. “Let's try with physical manifestations on inorganic matter.”

I nodded, retrieving a Medium Quality sword from my storage. With a gentle thrust, the weapon got impaled on the ground. Taking three steps back, I took a deep breath, then whispered in Abyssal, “Bend.”

Nothing happened.

“Burn,” I whispered next.

The blade stood there, rebelliously opposing the power that ruined a whole world.

“Try to disband the enchantments on it,” Shorvanna suggested. “Use the words fade, disband, disperse, or separate.”

I nodded and focused on the sword, then appraised it.

[+10 Tarunil Hispaniensis (High)]
(Sharpness A)(Durability B)
-STR+ 70
-DEX+ 30

As the name suggested, it was a regular sword that looked to be from the Roman era. As a now wiser individual, I could recognize Tarunil as the material it was made with, which was an enchanted metal similar to steel in composition, but magnitudes stronger and harder.

“Fade,” I whispered in Abyssal.

A few seconds passed and I appraised it again.

Nothing happened.

I continued nontheless, uttering the other words in the highly dangerous language. None of the words Shorvanna suggested worked to break the enchantments.

I scratched my chin. “Should I try with Infernal?” I proposed. “It makes E'er shake unpleasantly, so it might have what it takes to break enchantments. Lapia said something similar.”

“Give it a go,” the Goddess replied.

“Dissolve!” I snarled at it.

E'er twisted, trembled, and bent like shards of glass in a blender. The immediate vicinity of the sword shimmered like a mirage, distorting the light. A soft snap came from the sword, then everything returned to normal.

I approached the sword and took it out of the ground, then inspected it.

Appraisal showed nothing.

“Mhm...” I hummed and bit my lower lip. “This is concerning.”

“It is,” Shorvanna agreed.

“You said Demons on Galeia don't speak the corrupted version of the language, right?” I asked for clarification.

“That'd be correct,” the Goddess confirmed. “If they could speak it the way you do, then all it would be needed for you to know is a single Demon doing harm with it.”

I nodded, agreeing with her.

Despite having had the enchantment removed, the blade looked just as beautiful and sharp as it did before. My stats didn't go up while holding it, however, which was enough for me.

“This is... pretty dangerous,” I pointed out with a frown. “And incredibly disappointing.”

“More power to perform your duty as arbiter, young Halve,” Shorvanna tried looking at the positive side of things. “Be careful not to destroy useful items,” she chuckled.

I squinted my eyes. “Think of a warcry that uses Infernal to target enchanted objects and, you know, mess with their enchantment.”

“You can simply scream the word,” the Goddess countered.

“Right,” I chuckled with a nod. “That'd be quicker.”

The blade in my hand trembled, and a second snap came from it.

My eyes widened in surprise for a second, then I appraised the sword.

[+10 Tarunil Hispaniensis (High)]
(Sharpness A)(Durability B)
-STR+ 70
-DEX+ 30
-Inferno-touched

The two of us were silent for a while.

“You are a very interesting one, young Halve,” Shorvanna giggled with barely restrained enthusiasm. “I can't wait to see what else you're capable of!”

I was deeply confused.

Despite having used the word for things to stop being the way they were in the imperative form, the blade not only returned to it's previous state but gained a new line. Then again, the object wasn't exactly the way it was before, so it wasn't a total failure.

“This makes no sense,” I muttered, then stored the sword.

Shorvanna moved around me, slowly getting off of my body. The plaques and pieces that made her rearranged in front of me. “Let's try something,” she started with a giddy tone.

I arched an eyebrow and told her, “As long as it's not attempting to break you, I am all for experimentation.”

The Goddess lifted a hand, where a ball of E'er gathered and turned purple. Motioning towards me, the spell flew my way.

“Fuck off!” I reflexively said, squinting my eyes.

The spell dissolved mid-air, becoming ambient E'er.

Both Shorvanna and I were silent for a few seconds once again.

---

A few hours later, we had a solid grasp on Infernal. The language was very useful to disrupt the purpose given to E'er no matter the shape of it. The size, however, was pretty limited.

Shorvanna threw increasingly larger and complex spells my way, and I told the lobs of energy to fuck off.

Infernal wasn't quite as powerful with spells larger than a house, regardless of how loud I shouted.

A trophy for completing my trial in Hell, most likely. A completely useless trophy, unfortunately. Spells of that size didn't affect me whether fire, electricity, rocks, wind, or mental in nature.

Maybe to protect others, but useless if I am alone. A good addition, if anything.

With that progress done, I went inside the Temple for lunch.

---

Late at night, I was in my room laying in bed reading a book.

Alyssa was reading a book as well, sitting at a table Pokora had provided.

Pokora was chatting with Yolin and Lapia, giggling and joking. She hummed and asked, “Would you rather an albino Malinpi do a back flip, and as soon as it lands it stick its tail up your ass, or have the taste of shit in your mouth for a month straight?”

The question was so out of nowhere it took me out of reading about a young Warrior's tales of war and conflict during the Second Age of E'er.

Alyssa gave Pokora a very confused and disgusted look.

“Hmm...” Yolin gave it a thought, surprisingly. “Is the Malinpi sticking its tail up my ass only once, or is it daily for the month I would taste shit otherwise?”

“Are you serious?” Lapia inquired, a little unsure and a little grossed out. “I would take the taste of shit, obviously. It's just the taste, after all.”

“Nah,” Yolin denied, shaking her head. “You have to consider it's shit, Lapia. I have unfortunately tasted shit before when I fought a Yinkiti while on the sea. I had to go inside it and stab its heart, which is right next to its bowls... and I missed. I'd take the pain of having the spiky tail up my ass.”

Alyssa covered her mouth and closed her eyes. “Eww!”

Lapia sighed. “So you'd rather have your butt, along with the full meter the tail would go into ripped to shreds than taste shit?”

Yolin gave a slow nod and her face scrunched in thought. “Now that you put it like that...”

Pokora was holding back laughter.

What the fuck is wrong with this woman? I wondered, giving the Archer a look of pity.

“What if the Malinpi misses just once?” Alyssa asked. “And... you know?”

The room went quiet.

“I'll take tasting shit,” Yolin instantly changed her mind.

“See?” Lapia chuckled.

“HAHAHAHAHA!” Pokora leaned forward and slapped the table.

“What is wrong with you?” I questioned the Elmari Elf.

The Elmari Elf hugged her stomach and nodded several times while laughing. “It's every day...” she managed to answer Yolin's question while laughing.

Alyssa shook her head. “That's disgusting.”

A debate soon took place, where Lapia and Yolin argued with logistics and strategies on how they'd deal with having the taste of shit in their mouths for a month straight.

I think we were all a bit bored... at least I hope that's the reason.