Natasha the Halve

“There are a lot of possibilities, so tell me your preferences first,” Shorvanna offered.

I stood up and gently loosened my joints. Although sitting in the same position for ten hours didn't strain them, it felt good to stretch. “Have they eaten something?” I asked her, gesturing at my companions with a nod.

“They have,” the Goddess confirmed. “The Elf prepared beans and sausages four hours ago.”

I retrieved a dumpling from my storage and took a bite, chewed, then swallowed. “How come I don't get hungry?” I asked her. “I mean, I do get hungry, but not like I have to eat or I'll die kind of hungry.”

“Different metabolism,” Shorvanna shortly replied. “Mortals spend a lot of energy just to exist. You don't.”

I hummed, then finished the dumpling. “So, preferences,” I changed topics and cleaned my teeth with E'er. “A spear-oriented Class would be neat. Bigger attacks, like, in scope... The kind that cover a large area with a single swing since I'm a little limited to the reach of my weapon at the moment if we don't take Throw Spear, Gae Bulg, and Dragon Dive into consideration.” I held my chin and looked at the ceiling. “Conjuring spears would be cool, and they need to be as durable and sharp as my actual weapon. It'd be really badass if they float around me and I could use skills with them without needing to hold them. A skill to conjure a billion spears and shoot them in every direction would be pretty sweet, too.”

“Spears, big attacks, and conjuring weapons,” Shorvanna summarized. “If you add flying, Warcries empowered with Power Tongues, and your anger... you'll get Wrathful Conqueror of the Infinite Cosmos, Eternal Ruler of the Endless Heavenly Chasm, or Bubin Pilin. Which one exactly will depend on how you formulate the skills.”

I stared at her for a good ten seconds, then uttered in my most calm voice, “What in the fuck are those names? Why are the first two way cooler than the last one? Also, scratch flying. I'll pass on that.”

“Those Classes belonged to the strongest Halve Warriors a long time ago,” she shared. “Flying is important when demonstrating your absolute might.”

I shook my head. “Nah, I'll pass on flying. I quite like my Ratnak.”

“Grow up, Natasha,” the Goddess sighed. “You can't fear heights forever.”

My eyebrow twitched. “I said no. Stop insisting.”

“Wings would be pretty good, too,” Shorvanna commented, ignoring my rejection. “You're a Halve, after all.”

I clicked my tongue at her dismissal. “Wings? Why the fuck would I want or need wings? I weigh five hundred kilograms, Shorvanna. I can't fly with wings. It's not possible.”

“Why isn't it possible?” she stubbornly insisted, closing into me.

“It's just not,” I hissed back, feeling a little anger at her disregard. I placed a hand on her chest plate and moved her away.

Shorvanna slapped my hand away, then insisted, “Why not? Tell me a reason.”

I let out an irritated sigh and pushed her shoulder. “Because the wings would need to be fucking massive to lift me off the ground, which would only add to the weight. It wont work!”

“Nonsense,” she waved it away, slapping my hand again.

My left eyelid twitched and I took a deep, calming breath. I could not believe her.

“Think about it,” Shorvanna persisted, again closing into me. “Flying will help you explore the world, reach dangers faster, and-”

“You need to fucking stop,” I interrupted her, pushing her again with more strength. I was about to get pissed.

“You need to fucking grow up,” the Goddess spat, pointing a finger at me. “Think about it, young Halve! If you have wings, you get extensions of your body!”

“I don't give the fattest of fucks,” I spat back with a shaky voice. “Come off it, and fuck right off! I DON'T WANT TO FLY, YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

“HOW COME YOU DON'T!?” She demanded, yelling back at me. “LISTEN HERE, NATASHA NOVAK, YOU STUBBORN FUCK! YOUR WARRIOR BODY HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE ONE OF THE TOUGHEST THINGS ON THIS PLANET! IF YOU GET WINGS LIKE I'M TELLING YOU, YOU'D GAIN A PAIR OF SHIELDS! HOW DO YOU NOT WANT THAT?!”

“BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING FLY IN THE FIRST PLACE! AAHH!! ПИЗДЕЦ НАХУЙ БЛЯТЬ!!” I balled my hands into fists and shook in anger. “WHAT'S SOOOO GOOD ABOUT FLYING ANYWAY?!”

She scoffed and started hitting my stomach with a finger. “WHAT?! YOU GET TO FUCKING FLY, OBVIOUSLY! YOU CAN DO SPINS AND LOOPS AND SHIT IN THE AIR, AND YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING ENJOY IT!”

I slapped her gauntlet away. “I DON'T WANT TO DO YOUR FUCKING SPINS AND LOOPS, ДЕБИЛ СУКА!! STICK THEM UP YOUR FUCKING ASS!” I told her through gritted teeth.

“STOP ACTING LIKE A CHILD!” Shorvanna berated me. “YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS! YOU'RE ASKING ME FOR GUIDANCE BUT REJECT FLYING? ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO YOURSELF? THINK OF HOW MORTALS WILL FEEL WHEN THEY SEE YOU FLYING THROUGH THE SKIES! WHAT THEY WILL THINK WHEN THE GOLDEN WARRIOR LANDS IN ALL HER GLORY!”

“I HAVE A MOUNT! I LIKE SONYA A LOT, AND DON'T WANT TO ABANDON HER!” I explained myself, crossing my arms. “FLYING IS OFF! ANYTHING BUT THAT!”

“NOBODY SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ABANDONING YOUR RATNAK! YOU CAN MAKE YOUR LANCER SKILLS RANGED WHEN YOU MERGE YOUR CURRENT CLASSES! GET RID OF THOSE STUPID CONDITIONALS THAT TIE YOU TO THE GROUND!” The Goddess chastised me.

I took a deep breath and sighed. “Shorvanna... you're pushing me over the fucking line,” I warned her with a glare.

“Why do you let this fear control you?” she inquired in a puzzled tone. “Didn't you say you went to therapy to improve yourself?”

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my hair, then tugged it a little to release some tension. “Yes, but that was anger management, not the other shit,” I clarified and dropped my hands to the sides. “Shorvanna, I don't want to fly. I don't need to fly. I have Sonya,” I tried explaining the situation in a calm manner.

“I have never met a Halve with such an irrational fear,” the Goddess commented. “We'll work on it, young Natasha. I will help you overcome this.”

I closed my eyes and let out a long, tired sigh. After a few deep breaths and a moment of inner contemplation, I realized my reaction was pretty fucking stupid. “Alright,” I accepted and opened my eyes. “I lost my shit a bit there, if I'm being honest. I'm sorry for yelling at you, Shorvanna.”

“I was hoping you'd start a fight,” the Goddess of the path of the Warrior lamented. “You were pretty angry, and handled it beyond my expectations.”

I covered my face with a hand and dragged it down in exasperation. “Shorvanna... fuck around and find out,” I warned her. "I don't want to start a new Era."