Namgung Se-ga, the warrior, was reincarnated in Romance

Why was I born on this land?

Suddenly, Boulder’s loud voice echoed in my ears. His words about the essence of mana, which he casually mentioned while rambling on, occupied a corner of my heart and inflated in size.

The essence of things lies in their function, and the essence of a person lies in love, he had said.

When I asked Boulder why he, being a bachelor, would speak such words, he laughed loudly and replied in a way that broke through my memory and slipped out of my mouth.

“… Do you know how much the Sieron people pour their hearts into love?”

Indeed, his words were correct.

I, too, already found myself thinking about love at least once a day.

When I lived under Ernhardt, the young count, it wasn’t like this. I simply did what I wanted and lived the way I always had. It was fine. I hadn’t paid much attention to the talk in my small world.

But once I stepped into the wider world and began learning the laws of this land and its people, I changed.

Everyone around me sang of love, and despite my attempts to maintain my balance, it wasn’t easy. I felt envious, anxious, fearful, and regretful all at once.

I had never once felt affectionate in my lifetime, and I began to think that perhaps the gods had moved me here to experience this, to see if I could handle it.

Or perhaps, it was the result of the karma I had built up in my past life, and I was being punished. No matter how desperately I yearned and searched, it seemed like an unreachable, distant road.

My mind was clouded with such thoughts.

The path to reach the realm of enlightenment seemed long and distant.

Had I been my former self, I wouldn’t have been shaken by something so trivial. But now, with so many distractions, I found myself growing weaker, and this unfamiliar side of myself was difficult to accept.

Various faces flashed through my mind, and inside my closed eyes, Ruber’s bright face appeared once more.

Even if my brother became emperor, he had said, I would still be fine. He was the kind of child who spoke such fragile things. Though I couldn’t return his feelings, I thought that perhaps I could protect that dream for him.

First, I had to figure out why I kept reaching out to him.

Just as it was natural not to touch a girl of marriageable age, I reminded myself that I shouldn’t easily lay a hand on Ruber.

I tossed and turned for a long time, unable to sleep all through the night.

***

I didn’t see Ruber over the weekend.

It wasn’t on purpose. It was just that on Saturday morning, Shayden came to my room and suggested that since the exams were over, it might be a good idea to gather with our friends and hang out.

Worried that Ruber might be waiting for me helplessly, I asked the servant to pass on a message, telling him that I would be spending the weekend with my peers and to rest comfortably.

Thanks to that, Saturday was spent in a lively manner. Shayden, Damian, Marianne, Jenny, Ivan, and even Benjamin joined us in a large group.

We sat around a large round table, eating and drinking, talking about which subjects were good for exams and which were dreadful.

Marianne and I strongly advised against taking the basic first-aid course, but Benjamin insisted that we absolutely must take the “Three Ways to Overcome Adversity” course next semester.

I knew it was the same course Benjamin had struggled with alone in the previous semester, so I wasn’t fooled.

As I returned to the dorm late in the evening, I nodded in agreement to Damian’s suggestion to meet on Sunday to make a mistake correction notebook for the exam we all took together, since we were all in the same year and shared many subjects. It would be helpful to assist each other.

Despite thinking this, a heavy feeling lingered in my chest.

I started worrying that it might look like I was avoiding Ruber.

I had never allowed anyone to hold a place in my heart, nor had I ever witnessed someone harboring feelings for me.

Since coming to Sieron, I had encountered countless unfamiliar things, but this particular situation was one of the most confusing and awkward ones.

I worried that Ruber might be upset and act cold towards me again, but then I scolded myself, thinking that I couldn’t accept his feelings. I found it strange, wondering if it was true that the child liked me.

I changed my mind many times in a short span.

Had my inner turmoil shown?

Marianne, who had been deeply focused on writing answers and reading the textbook for a long time, suddenly asked me.

“Mikael, do you have something on your mind?”

“… No, it’s nothing.”

“You’ve been sighing since earlier, not turning a page of the book, and your eyes keep looking down like this, casting shadows on your eyelashes. It looks like you’re in some kind of sorrow.”

“… Was I really doing that?”

“Yes. Didn’t you, Jenny?”

“You sighed nine times in the last two hours, Mikael.”

When I looked up, I realized that everyone around the table had been looking at me. I couldn’t understand why they had stopped studying to watch me, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. I set my pen down, which I had been holding aimlessly.

Should I ask or not? Was this something I could even talk about? After a brief hesitation, I spoke.

“… For example, if someone seems to like me…”

“Hmm?”

The others, who had been listening closely, started to laugh one by one. I was confused and just sat there, unsure of why they were laughing. After a moment, Marianne, laughing loudly and tapping the desk, opened her mouth, clearly excited.

“Why are you saying something so obvious? There are so many people at this academy who like you, Mikael!”

“No, I mean, not as a friend, but…”

“Mikael, I can name ten people who like you.”

“I know twenty.”

Their playful banter irritated me. If it were something lighthearted that I could just casually bring up, I wouldn’t have been so troubled.

I closed my mouth and stayed quiet. Then Ivan, who usually didn’t get involved in matters like this, asked slyly with laughter in his eyes.

“Who is it?”

“… It’s not about me.”

“Okay, let’s say it’s not about you. But I’m curious, who is it that’s been on your mind like this?”

I didn’t answer, keeping my mouth tightly shut. The eager, sparkling eyes of the others made me feel embarrassed, so I hid my face with my hands.

As I wiped my face with my trembling hands, Damian, who was sitting next to me, spoke up.

“If you don’t want to accept it, it might be better to draw a line.”

“A line?”

“What, you could just say you have someone you like, or something like that.”

For a moment, I imagined calling Ruber over and saying, “I like someone, and it’s not you.”

No, I couldn’t imagine saying those words. I didn’t want to see my face twist in any way as I said them.

“… If you don’t want to lie.”

“Then it would be best to say, ‘I can’t accept your feelings right now, it’s not that you’re lacking, but I don’t have the emotional capacity for it.’ That’s probably the best way.”

“… I don’t have the emotional capacity right now.”

I repeated Damian’s words in my mind, and before I could think any further, Sheiden immediately interrupted and stopped me.

“No, I think it would be fine to just act like you don’t know.”

“Oh, here it comes, the bad guy.”

“Quiet, Marianne.”

Shiden shot a sharp look at Marianne, who was still playfully stomping her feet, and then turned to me with a serious voice.

“Anyway, Mika, you’re so oblivious that everyone at this academy knows it. If you just stay quiet, the other person will either confess or give up, you know?”

“… ”

I couldn’t deny it. It was ridiculous, but I still listened.

“Until you’re confessed to, honestly, you don’t know for sure. Even if they like you, you might not want to be in a relationship. There’s context to things, too…”

“… ”

“If they confess, then you can think it over and accept if you want, or reject them if you don’t. If they don’t make any moves, you can just act like you don’t know. You don’t want to mess up the relationship.”

… It was a reasonable suggestion. I quietly listened, but then Jenny suddenly chimed in with a question.

“Shiden, do you know who it is?”

“How would I know? I’m sure Mikael didn’t know until now either.”

I stared blankly at Shiden’s face. Seeing his white face look so composed, I realized, ah, this guy knows.

Come to think of it, Shiden had known about Walter and Calyps’s relationship before I did. He probably knew that Ruber liked me long before I did.

When did he find out? I suppressed the urge to ask, as a sudden curiosity bubbled up.

It was certainly easier to stay quiet than to outright reject or draw boundaries first.

Shiden was probably being cautious because Ruber was a prince. Shiden had once said that it was good for me to be close to the prince.

I didn’t want to distance myself from Ruber over something as trivial as this either, so Shiden’s words made sense.

I stayed silent, and soon, Shiden redirected the attention back to Marianne.

“Speaking of which, Marianne, how’s it going with Tenor-senpai? You haven’t been talking about him much lately.”

“Ah, well, we take one general studies class together, have dinner sometimes, go on dates occasionally, and study together on the weekends… That’s about it.”

“Why aren’t you spending this weekend with him?”

“Well, my friend said she missed me and wanted to hang out! Are you planning to kick me out?”

Marianne slammed her hand on the desk, standing up with indignation, causing laughter to burst out everywhere.

After glaring fiercely at the others who were apologizing with “No, we’re sorry, we were wrong,” Marianne returned to her seat and sniffed haughtily.

“Try to kick me out and see. I won’t let you get away with it.”

“Yes, I was wrong. Should I raise my hands and face punishment?”

“Hmph. Even if you’re in a relationship, the world doesn’t revolve around just that one person. I love Glee Oppa very much, and I really, really like him, but I don’t think he’s my everything. You all are also very precious to me.”

Her words were cute and cheeky. Even I, who had been feeling down, couldn’t help but laugh.

With her hands on her hips, striking a pose as if she were being all majestic, Marianne smiled brightly, picked up her pen again, and resumed her work. I watched her with amusement and, out of curiosity, asked:

“Marianne, how do you manage to do relationships so well?”

Upon hearing my question, Marianne chuckled merrily and swirled her quill pen.

“Well, I guess it’s just in my nature.”