My Upgrades are Invincible. Rewrite

"You are fucking doing what, to the Jack Bird?" Tsubaki said with dull eyes seeing the stack of aphrodisiacs placed beside the struggling bird that knew a terrible lewd fate was before it somehow.

I responded plainly and with zero change of expression. "The Jack Bird is extremely valuable so I tamed one. And with my abilities, I am going to fuse more materials into it, to make it better and because I want to make its life easier I am going to fuse the pallum aphrodisiacs that are used to allow their kind to get fucked by orcs, horses and anything else without dying or fainting from the pain."

Tina even helpfully threw in. "I can vouch for the aphrodisiacs, I once saw a pallum supporter be spit roasted by a couple of tamed minotaur manual labor workers for their Christmas reward for working so hard through the year."

"I wasn't fucking questioning the quality of the aphrodisiacs!" Tsubaki screamed.

And in turn, I shrugged as I said with a wry smile. "Sooo... You wanna see a chicken orgasm laying eggs or you wanna leave before it gets freaky?" 

For a split second, I thought Tsubaki was going to be spiteful and say indeed, she wanted to see a chicken mind break itself laying eggs. But her sanity proved its strength as she shoved down the curiosity and without another word pivoted on her feet and strode out of the apartment slamming the door behind her.

There was a moment of silence as I looked at Tina who shrugged and then my door violently opened up again and I heard Tsubaki yell into the apartment. "Now come get rid of these fucking chickens, roosters, and the damned outhouse!"

-

I fused Tina's old outhouse of an apartment into the same foldable system that I used with the monster trap house, so we could collapse it downwards. So it could be easily carried around... Thankfully with me fusing it, it had lost any remaining smell but just to be sure, I literally fused several bars of soap and chemicals into the building and saw in the item description that now there would always be a pleasant scent and the building was currently completely sterile of bacterial.

Once that was done, I then got into the key point of all this business and after throwing the Jack Bird into the fusion space for tamed beasts, I then used all the chicken and ostrich corpses fusing them into the Jack Bird, along with the aforementioned kinda illegal Pallum aphrodisiacs to fuse together into a new Jack Bird.

 [Jack Bird. Enhanced monster in Default female gender.] [Abilities- Run bitch run! Jack Bird has the ability to run ever so slightly faster than whatever chases it.- Egg Laying. Jack Bird is capable of laying up to four golden eggs a day. -Pain Embracement, Jack Bird has been chemically altered so that any birthing pains will be converted to pleasure.]

Ok yup kinda fucking weird, but as the Jack Bird moaned out as it could obviously feel an egg coming my I wore a stiff face as I carefully put the Jack Bird into its noise-canceling cage so it could lay its eggs without filling the apartment with its noises.

After that was dealt with I looked to Tina who weakly smiled but I couldn't help but ask with some disturbed curiosity. "So... Why the illegal Pallum aphrodisiacs and not the perfectly legal Amazon ones?" I asked 

"Because the Pallum ones are stronger." Tina without hesitation answered and seeing my face twitch she continued on without much care in her voice as she didn't see anything to weird about the topic with her actually living in this world. "Amazon's whole race and culture is blatantly finding the strongest, breeding with them, and making a new even stronger generation... With that mindset over the millennia and just at them at their base, Amazons are very durable women and even childbirth isn't that difficult to the woman race."

Even as I wondered how long it would take for me to get my own amazon chasing for my babies I heard Tina muse aloud. "Maybe the whole easy childbirth thing is why female elves hate amazons as well... As elves like to dress just as lewdly a lot of the times though."

"Hmm." I couldn't help the chuckle as I recalled how shy and proper Ryu was... But she would literally run around in bloomers and a tight shirt that was all but painted onto her form.

So elves were lewd but tried to hide it, and amazons were weaponized lewd who wanted strong babies... My thoughts were cut off as Tina coughed and I looked over at my supporter/lover.

"So how is making the cure for Materia or Alfia?" She asked and I smiled as that was a much more easy topic to discuss.

"It went well. I made Materia's cure without any issues, though for Alfia I need to restock on my potions... Hell, I need to restock on all my materials in general, so I was honestly thinking about raiding the Orario dump and the dead magic stone pit to refill on materials to fuse shit together." I explained my thought process and Tina hummed in thought as she moved from her side of the couch and wordlessly we snuggled up together on the couch with Tina's form molding across my own.

After a minute of silence, Tina spoke softly. "Then we best go soon. Best for you to fuse all the garbage into piles of materials before you are more well known as you will obviously be becoming a Record Breaker." 

I snorted and then palmed Tina's ass making her emerald green eyes flash as I drawled. "Never know Tina... A certain little spear-wielding menace might break my next record over her knee though." I said with some humor.

Tina's Blood Fury Spear skill was literally basically a divine authority in of itself with infinite growth and was obviously pushing her own growth as well. To say nothing of the growth items I shared with her. Just because I became the Record Breaker for Level 1 didn't mean this cheater wouldn't break every other level record with her own brand of bullshit.

"Then I will just have to make sure the glory belongs to the man who gave a pallum a light in her life to live on for. And of course, make him the happiest man to walk Gekai" Tina whispered into my neck and her hand sunk down low into my pants and soon the apartment was filled with the noise of spring.