My Upgrades are Invincible. Rewrite

Gawain was all but panting as she tried to catch her breath from her excessive laughter while Tina just eye'd me with forlorn eye's as she said with some regret in her voice. "Jake, I will mourn your loss... Alfia is going to kill you."

And Gawain coughed as she failed to inhale more air as Tina's statement made her laugh more than her body could support with the lack of air she already had.

"Alright alright. I get it." I grumbled wryly before shaking my head before a smile came to my face as I looked up at Gawain and wagged my eyebrows. "Thanks for the save Gawain. But I think we will be going now, while you head home and probably get blasted out of Orario for saving us."

My words killed Gawain's laughter making her pause and then she snorted and said confidently. "Its all good, Alfia knows she can't hurt Gawain the Wall! I have a Magic Resistance development ability as well as both my general durability and another skill that increases my magical defenses even more!"

'Dear gods... No wonder everyone said Hera and Zeus's Familia were fucking cheaters. And how the fuck could you hurt Gawain then?' I thought with my lips twitching as I doubted she was lying. So after a few more pleasantries were exchanged, we wished Gawain the best of things while Tina and I quickly made our way back to the Hephaestus Familia compound.

Once we were safe and inside my apartment, Tina waited for to face plant on the pull out futon before snuggling up to me as we both in unison screamed into our pillows about how crazy the day had been.

Dealing with a monster party, capturing a Jack Bird, getting captured in turn by the Hera Familia and making a deal with the current queen bitch of Orario... Today had simply been too damned much.

But after we both screamed our mental strain into our pillows and maybe I got some mental strength back by honking Tina's boobs, I rolled out of bed and took out the shrunken-down minature house that held the sealed-away Jack Bird. "Alright... Now to try to tame the stupidly valuable Jack Bird." I muttered as I unshrunk the building so it took up the same size as a small closet in my living room.

"Tina you stand to my right and make sure it doesn't run through my legs or something." I ordered her and she nodded and got down in a half crouch like she was a goalie or something and that thought was almost proven correct as the moment I opened up the gate, a fluffy terror screech as it tried to go under the partially opened bottom to escape but that act of trying to go out of the partial opening only made it an easy target for me to grab the oversized chicken directly by the head.

"So... You tame a monster by establishing dominance over it. Either beating it half to death, healing it and repeating the process until it mentally knows down to its smidgen of a soul that you are above it. Or in the case of larger monsters you force the nasty on it. Fucking weirdo Zeus members, you don't fuck the tree monsters, the fucking dungeon literally gives us monster girls for heaven's sake." I cursed to myself as I read the little pamphlet the Hepheautus Familia had for taming monsters for either mounts or labor workers in monsters like Orc's Silverbacks, and other monsters.

Then I had an idea. The Jack Bird along with the Blue Papilow butterfly were both extremely fragile monsters so they couldn't really be tamed by either method but I just had to dominate the monster so with Tina's help we strapped the screeching bird into a chair and then I minced up some stupidly hot peppers that amazons and dwarves apparently found palatable and then I also minced up some non-spicy peppers.

"Know that this hurts me, more than it hurts you," I said solemnly and then the screech's were cut short as I shoved the stupidly hot peppers into the bird's mouth making it choke, and even as its bugged-out eyes met mine I solemnly ate a spoonful of the non-spicy peppers and didn't react at all. "Until you submit, every day, every hour, I am going to share this pain with you Jackie," I said solemnly, and the bird's eyes widened and foam came out of its mouth as the whole body of the bird convulsed sending feathers everywhere at the thought.

I didn't beat the semi-intelligent monster into submission, I showed I was better and stronger than it in every way as I shoved spoonfuls of terribly spicy and then sour food into its mouth before then nonchalantly eating the 'non-toxic' version of whatever I shoved down into it's mouth.

Until finally, it happened, not even five minutes into my abusive treatment of the Jack Bird, its red eye dimmed into black pits before coming back as luminescent blue eyes which were the clear representation of a monster of the dungeon being tamed. Or more specifically the monster being cucked from the dungeon's control as the dungeon still fueled the monster with its internal monster stone and could also get stronger by eating more monster stones.

Though feeding a tamed monster would indeed make it stronger, it would also make it mentally unstable for a while and often would attack their tamer and the binding could actually be broken altogether allowing the dungeon to take back control of the monster.

Then as Tina cheered seeing the blue eyes of the Jack Bird, I heard a thrumming noise in my very soul and I staggered as the Fusion Space I fused stuff together and the inventory space I had to store for stuff shuddered, and from the two spaces came a sort of energy that formed a third space. Whereas the first two spaces were simple squares with mirror-smooth stone floors, this next space had a thick mossy platform and the platform itself was seemingly round.

I reflexively brought the tamed Jack Bird into the new space and I could feel the connection the Jack Bird had to that space and my lips turned upwards as I realized it was a sort of fusion farm that I could combine natural treasures and magical things with tamed monsters. Along with just fusing tamed monsters with either monster corpses or for much stronger effects and abilities being transferred, I could fuse tamed beats together all together.

However, that would obviously mean any resources I put into the other tamed monster would be lost/transferred to the new monster.

And just like before with my other fused objects, I could get an info plaque for the tamed monster or being with the Jack Bird being no exception. [Jack Bird, Default Monster in Default female gender.] [Abilities- Run bitch run! Jack Bird has the ability to run ever so slightly faster than whatever chases it.- Egg Laying. Jack Bird is capable of laying a single golden egg a month.]

Now... I needed two things to maximize the production of this Jack Bird and make her an egg-laying monster. "Tina, while I work on making a potion for Materia, you go out with some money here," I said giving her a small bag filled with Valis before continuing. "Now, the Jack Bird here needs two things to make it better, get me a lot of dead whole chickens which will increase egg production by lowering the days it takes to lay eggs... And then get me some Ostrich or Brush Turkey corpses as Ostritch's can lay up to fifty eggs in a single nest."

A comical thumping noise rang out and I looked over at the Jack Bird which seemed to have fainted at hearing I was expecting it to lay fifty eggs. But I shrugged and after a moment of hesitation, I gave Tina another larger sack of coins and said flatly. "And go to the Red Light District and get one of those weird Amazon childbirth potions that makes childbirth painless and somehow orgasmic," I ordered with a shudder at the thought, and Tina just stared at me.

Just fucking stared into my soul before saying flatly. "Jake, you are fucking weird..."