My Reincarnation Fantasy Is All Wrong!

My foot collides with the wood, and my tired eyes drag around the room. To my left, there is a table and four chairs with stairs past them, a path forward and slightly right, and far to the right, a group of countertops and cabinets.

Trudging my tired legs forward, I stand in the middle of the room. Where do I even go to sleep in here? Up the stairs? Down the hall? My eyes rise upwards towards a yellow crystal hanging on the wall in front of me. Its faint glow fills the room. 

I stare at this light, and it stares back at me. Our glows are both slowly fading away. 

"Standard Celladian Mage Light" a familiar voice notes from behind me. My head turns towards him. It's the guy complaining about the building earlier. He flicks his finger and a mote of orangish-grey energy flows into the light. Its glow returning, but still fading ever slowly.

"Being out in the cold with all those filthy eyes upon me has been an experience. This day shall end when my head rests upon a bed worthy of me." Filthy eyes? Guess she really is the arrogant noble type. Flicking an orange-green mote into the crystal causing it to glow vibrantly forcing me to shield my eyes. 

"This place seems to be quite small. I wonder if there are enough rooms for all of us. There seem to be only 4 chairs. Which could imply only 4 rooms, possibility even less than that." the analytical voice makes clear just how sad this place truly is.

Just then our 4th member comes through the door, forcing himself to crouch down in order to make it through the doorway, though his branching horns still bump against the top. A slight grunt comes through his mouth.

"So this is to be our residence?" glancing around Jiang walks over to a chair and takes a seat. I'd follow him, but I don't think I'd be able to stand up. Filtering in after him is the short girl with black hair and red eyes. After briefly glancing at everyone, she quickly shuffles up the stairs. I think she's shy.

My eyes follow her up, however, and I feel my legs shake for a moment before my eyes return back to the door. The white-haired girl paced in and slowly closed the door behind her.

The silence is deafening.

"So, uh, looks like that's everyone" I squeak out. Annoyed words flow out from the brown-haired man. "It looks to be that way. Though I do have bad news." Oh no. What now? "Judging by the size of this building, I doubt we are all getting our own personal room. Structurally it wouldn't make sense." How did he figure that out? Some kind of magic power. Noticing my gaze he sighs. "It's not some kind of special ability. It's just common sense." Nodding to himself I stand there lost. Common sense? How is that common sense? 

"Enomari always surprise me," Jiang in the chair mutters. 

"Are you to imply I must share a room with one of you lot?" speaks a haughty voice. My hand twitches. 

With an annoyed expression, the brown-haired man speaks out, "Let's move upstairs. The only other room down here is empty." Vivian rolling her eyes follows him up nonetheless. The rest of us following close behind. However, as I reach the steps I stop. I look up towards those steps oh so tall. I wonder what it would be like to fall down from them. I wonder if I'd go to another world again. I wonder if it would hurt. I wonder if- A small hand lands on my shoulder. 

The black-haired girl looks up at me. Her red eyes staring straight into my soul. Her hand is shaking, wait no. That's my body. Am I still cold? Did I sprain something? Why? What's wrong? 

"You're scared," her voice is soft. It seems to pull me back for a moment. 

Scared? But, I'm supposed to be a hero? I can't really be afraid of some stairs? They don't even go that high? But they still go up. Any fall, if it goes slightly wrong, it can change the course of your life forever.

"Are you going to accompany us?" Jiang's voice calls down to me. I look up to him, Am I really about to leave my future Isekai companion behind? 

No. My Isekai adventure starts here! 

My foot reaches towards the step. Then it collides with the ground, not the stair. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. My leg is shaking. My body is starting to get hotter, I don't want to fall. I don't want to fall. I don't want to fall.

His confused expression floods me with embarrassment. This is pathetic—an isekai hero, afraid of heights.

Suddenly the world shifts around me as I find myself horizontal and my head a bit lower.

"Huh," it's like I fell, but now I'm floating.

A shaky voice whispers next to me, "You can't let fear hold you back." My head turns only to see the black-haired girl holding me over her shoulder. Though it sounds like she barely believes herself. She's weirdly strong. She makes her way up the stairs and I can't help but look down. I'm shaking again. I don't want to fall. I don't trust her to not drop me. I feel bile begin to rise in my throat. Then my feet touch solid ground.

I let out a heavy breath I didn't know I was holding. Turning to look down the hall I see the group looking through what seem to be 5 doors. I turn my head towards Jiang, afraid of what I might see. A small part of me hoped he was one of those protagonist-type characters who wouldn't bat an eye at a weakling like me, and would instead comfort me.

As my eyes reach him, he squints a bit, shaking his head, and turns his head away. The one guy I thought was cool now thinks I'm a total loser. This can't get any worse. 

"I checked the building earlier but this just confirms my fears. We don't have an indoor restroom. There is an outhouse around the back if anyone needs it." the brown-haired man's voice notes, though the clear depression in his eyes flows through me and Vivian as well.

FUCK, is that what he was doing before we got here?

"You're an Enomari? Surely you could transmute something? I saw your blatant Magic earlier." shaky words leave Vivian's mouth. My chest rises.

"I wish, but I could never get something set up in such a short amount of time with no tools or materials." Only to fall again. 

Why is everything a disappointment today? I've died twice, forced to live in this shitty apartment, and got embarrassed in front of people who didn't know how pathetic I was? 

Turning to the black-haired girl, I have to say something. 

"Thank you," she stares silently at me with a blank expression for a moment, before muttering.

"It's not a crime to be afraid," that . . . I guess that's true. Dammit I should get her name, I've already embarrassed myself enough I might as well commit.

"I'm . . . Mercury, nice to meet you" holding out my hand for a handshake. Her expression is of complete bafflement. Her arms crossed.

"I grabbed you against your will, and now you want to shake my hand?" Looking down at my shaking hand I bring it down to my side and close it into a fist. I truly am ashamed. Vivian however seems to notice my plight and walks over.

"You grabbed him without his permission? As expected a R'Vazinian!" Will she take any opportunity to be racist? Can you just shut the fuck up so I can get this day over with? However, the black-haired girl doesn't seem to respond.

Instead, everyone seems to be looking at me. Vivian's draw could reach the floor. Fuck, I said that out loud. 

"H-How dare you speak to me like that!" I can feel my heart start to speed up again. My sweat beat down on my face. My fist clenching and unclenching. I never know what to do in situations like this with other people. I start to turn away, but the only way to run is down the crashing stairs.

I'm trapped. I can't run. I can't dream. I can't do anything.

My eyes try to turn up to the slowly approaching woman, but all I can do is look away. My body trembles. I'm powerless. I turn to everyone else, but even they seem to be scared of this woman for some reason. Even the people I'd thought might stand up for me. Then a hand collides with my shoulder, and the world seems to freeze.

Instantly the atmosphere goes from scared, to terrified. Everyone is looking not at me, but at her in horror. My face may look like a mess, and I slowly turn up to her piercing orange-green eyes.

Looking down at me her face contorted in disgust for a moment, she eventually sighs. 

"Someone like you wouldn't understand. Our people once had a very harsh war with the R'Vazinian people. As your Princess, I'm simply worried for your safety." Her soft but slightly shaken smile doesn't bring me comfort though. That girl helped me. Also who cares what the "R'Vazinian People" did a million years ago or whatever? It's not like actually I'm one of her people anyway. 

Though strangely enough, her touch does slow my heartbeat, my sweat seeming to recede, and my body gaining more control. But the burden on my mind doesn't cease. 

In my mind, I try to think back to a story. A hero, or a villain. It doesn't matter. Someone who I could Dream of. Someone who could help me get through this. But nothing comes to mind. No one comes to save me. But that doesn't make any sense. How could-

[No more Dreams, you have to live in the real world now]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no that's not FAIR. Not understandable. Not comprehensible. Not reasonable. Not a possibility. He would never? B-but WHY? My one shield against everything? Why? Why? 

Tears stream down my face. Why must my most prized possession be ripped away from me? The one thing that makes me, ME. If I could be called anything to begin with.

"H-hey, it's alright. You don't have to be scared of that R'Vazinian anymore." Her hand pats my shoulder, a smile blossoming on her face.

"Could you not? You keep talking about one of the few people all day who's helped me like she's about to kill me!? Can't you just leave me alone!? I already told you that I don't want to be the follower of someone like you." again, the rest of the group's fear seems to return. For a moment I'm snapped away from my torrent of emotions. Somehow I manage to close the faucet over my heart before the dam breaks. Before I fall apart.

Her eyes seem to glow orange for a moment, her hand shaking as it firmly grasps onto me. Then after a moment, she lets go. Her eyes tear up a bit.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry for wasting your time." walking down into the hall and into one of the rooms she gently closes the door. Well, now I feel like the villain, and a little guilty.

The hall is silent, except for the slight sound of sniffling coming from the second door on our left.

Everyone looks at me like I'm an insane idiot. Is she that big of a deal? Or do they think I'm a huge jerk?

"A-ahem, the first doors on both sides are tiny empty rooms at the moment. With bunks down the hall in the 3 other doors. As previously discussed I'll be rooming with Ms. Cellavort. Though I think I'll give her some time first. The rest of you should sort out your arrangements before the exhaustion truly sets in." I think it's already set in but thank you anyway. Immediately the small girl's voice juts in, as the brown-haired man goes down the stairs.

"I sleep alone," after that proclamation, she paces down the stairs following closely behind the other man.

Wait, did Vivian really fold that fast to bunking with someone? Now I really feel like the bad guy. Or did I just take that long being an embarrassment at the stairs?

"I believe it only fair due to my size I get to sleep in my own room." A single eye scans to me, hope present in it. This guy totally just wants his own room. Well, whatever guess that means I get to room with a cute girl. Turning to the white-haired girl I nod.

"Looks like it's the two of us then, I'm Mercury, good to properly meet you." However, my introduction again gets a response I don't expect. Jiang stares at me like I'm an idiot, and the girl across from me is stunned but manages to mutter something out.

"You would rest in the same room as I?" Oh crap. She totally thinks I'm a creep. My reputation must truly be in the trash at this point.

"S-sorry if that makes you uncomfortable." Both continue to stare at me for a moment.

"You ARE strange," mumbles Jiang, before turning into the room behind him.

Can't let my intro get interrupted again! Haha. Ha.

"I'm Mercury! Good to meet you!" again holding my hand out for her to shake it she just stares blankly at me. After a moment a slight smile appears on her face.

"I am Maryam. Thank you." She gives me a firm handshake and goes into the room straight down the hall. I follow behind.

Inside is a window that directs to the path we came from, I guess I didn't see this because it's so dark? This room is dark and I can't turn on the light . . . can I even use magic at all? Luckily, the light of the Moon . . . wait why are there 6 moons in the sky? What kind of fucked up place is this? 

Looking to my left I see a top and bottom bunk. I barely take off my shoes before throwing myself into the bottom one. I blink and hear a slight thump above me. Can she teleport? What kind of world is this?

. . .

. . . 

. . . 

I can't sleep.

I can hear the sounds of the outside forest. The faint howling of wolves. The soft flowing of a river. My mind swims, and I can't think straight. But I'm too tired to think. I clutch one of the two pillows on this bed. One behind my head, one in my arms. Putting my face into the pillow in front of me I silently cry.

This has been a nightmare.

I've been punished for my dreaming.

Please just let me go home.