LIGHTNOVELONLINE Arc 1, Ch.16: You are rotten, I am rotten, everyone is rotten
My happiness probably made him embarrassed since…
Mizuki went right ahead without me, his pace quicker than before. I let him walk in front of me on purpose, hoping that the overjoyed grin on my face would vanish until we reached the store. I tugged at it with my fingers, but the sides of my mouth refused to listen. The small things in life can sometimes make you the happiest.
Being on a first-name basis wasn't unusual for people the same age, especially us younger ones, the point was the exclusivity. That he didn't allow people to call him by his first name meant that he didn't want it to be used casually, but I was regarded as one of the people close enough now.
I didn't want to let it get to my head, but the pink bubbles were everywhere.
The place we had decided on wasn’t exactly empty, but there is always space for two people somewhere.
We were led into a quiet corner on our own volition, farther away from the loud center. At least here you could understand what the people at your table were saying without needing a hearing aid.
Although I was relieved that it was rather loud inside the room, that made it unlikely for anyone to hear us talking.
Not that we had anything interesting to talk about, it was just a thing I preferred.
Most people eating here were just catching dinner before going to the cinema, judging by their topics of conversation. We listened in a bit while waiting for our drinks.
“Sorry, if I had known you were bad with jumpscares I would have made sure the movie didn’t have any before asking you”, I apologized after thinking about it for a while. A lot of reviews had said the movie was scary, but I often felt that people were too sensitive and didn’t take it seriously.
Mizuki shook his head.
“I could have mentioned it. It’s just, since the tickets were yours…”
“Still, it’s fine to say when you’re uncomfortable with something. I can tell you outright, I hate any activities outside that involve a lot of people.”
I pointed at myself, hoping he’d feel less awkward if I admitted to that.
“That, I can understand. I don’t want to be stared at, either.” He slid his fingers through his hair - that had me staring, to tell the truth - and ruffled it up. The messy look suited him a thousand times better than me. “Thanks for not acting like everyone else, for just doing… normal stuff with me.”
He shrugged, uncertain of how to phrase his thoughts.
“I-”
Of course. We’re friends. You’re just a person like everyone else.
I wanted to give one of these perfect answers, the things that he wanted to hear and that I wanted to say. With a quiet, low ringing, a prompt appeared in my vision.
A soft yellow, almost completely see-through so that it’d be easy to miss.
[Don’t lie.]
So I sighed and didn’t lie.
“Not true”, I admitted, leaning onto my hand and staring out of the window. “You heard how my friends talked. I gossiped the same as everyone else, watched your life from afar like it was some reality-tv series. Sure, I wanted to talk to you, but I fear the reasons aren’t that different from anyone else.”
Confessing to being an asshole to your crush is a terrible feeling. I didn’t even trust the system fully and yet I had decided to do what it wanted me, despite fearing the consequences, just this one more time. If it worked, I might as well trust its judgment in prompts.
Mizuki was looking at his tea, then up at me. His dark eyes weren’t revealing any anger.
“Is spending time with me something enjoyable?”
“Hmm.”
It was. I was happy he talked to me, I was happy he allowed me to look at him, I was happy to spend time with him.
“Do you have to feign your behaviour around me?”
“No.”
I did hold back on impulsive actions such as squealing, giggling, breaking out into spontaneous singing and any other ridiculous action that you want to do around your crush. That’s within the scope of not twisting yourself around, though. That’s just common self-control.
Mizuki leaned back in his seat and shrugged, the sides of his lips lifting up slightly. I was dazed by the sight of the soft smile on his lips.
“Since you’re enjoying yourself with me and the same goes the other way around, I won’t complain about how you were before. It’s not like you regretting it can change the past you.”
“You… don’t mind?” The thought stunned me.
“I definitely do. But if I get mad, won’t it needlessly strain everything?” Mizuki was visibly sinking into his chair, a behaviour I knew so well from myself that I could sense the aura of discomfort and awkwardness around him. “If I finally get along with someone, I’d like to keep it at that…”
“I already promised you I won’t do something like gossip anymore. I’ll try not to give you another reason to dislike me.”
Everyone, don’t scold me, not even in your mind. Yes, yes. It was a stupid promise. There was no way for me to be certain that I’d never make him mad and even if I knew he was going to hate certain things, there was always a chance I’d do it anyway.
I silently thanked the system that it had forced me to admit these things right away, it could have been bad if he thought I was hiding it. And I got to see him smile. I might be more thankful for that than any of the other reasons.
“Here’s your food”, a young waitress said, placing down a steaming bowl of noodles for me and sushi for Mizuki. The scent made my mouth water.
“Thank you”, I happily said, already focusing on my meal when I noticed that the girl was still standing there, glancing at us. “...Is something the matter?”
She jolted out of an obvious train of thought and blushed.
“I’m sorry. I just-”
She hesitated and I watched on, confused, while Mizuki was already placing some sushi inside his mouth, observing from the sidelines. Finally, the girl opened her mouth again.
“I accidentally listened in to what you were saying. I just thought it’s nice that you have such a great relationship. You two look good together. That’s all.”
And with that, she ran off.
Jeopardy was playing in mind, the quiz melody going up and down as I still looked at the place where she had stood, wondering why her words had sounded so weird.
Staring... at... the... place... ... Thinking...
Then I went over our previous conversation with the great help of my system writing it down...
...Ah. I see. That’s one awkward misunderstanding.
How is this town so full of rotten girls? I mean, I’m actually interested in him, but don’t you think you’re assuming a bit too much?
At a loss of what to do and with heating up cheeks, I slowly let my gaze wander over to Mizuki, who had stopped in the middle of chewing.
With bulging cheeks and a confused look, he reminded me a bit of a hamster.
He swallowed and creased his forehead. “Am I understanding right that this girl thought-”
He broke off in the middle of the sentence and tilted his head down to eat. I mirrored him, taking up my chopsticks to try my noodles, imaginary sweatdrops sticking to my skin.
“Sorry, must be an uncomfortable thought for you”, I mumbled, only cursing myself mentally after I had already said the sentence. I wasn’t the one who should apologize and ugh, did I have to hint at the fact that only he had that thought and not I?!
“Hmmm.” Mizuki gave a long hum without raising his head and continued to eat.
…
Eh? Wait a second, wait a second! That’s not right, is it?
What kinda reaction is that?
You’re not getting mad or awkward, or disgusted or confused or anything-
You’re just gonna give a non-committal hum? Shouldn’t you be agreeing to what I said in some way? Why aren’t you?
My thoughts turned in a circle.
Why aren’t you? Why aren’t you? Why aren’t you agreeing that the thought of people mistaking us as a couple is uncomfortable?
I can’t tell you whether my noodles were good or bad, my sense of taste was completely gone with my full focus on that one question. I was dying to ask him.
Hey? Can I expect something, after all?