Chapter 78: I'm Lonely. I'm Worried. As I Expected, I'm Lonely! (2)
TL: looloo
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"Last year, when I was studying, you said it was okay for me to play games for two or three hours to relieve stress. But now, as my friends are busy with college life, it's hard to play together, and playing alone is boring. So, I thought maybe I'd try working part-time instead."
"......."
"Actually, I had asked my brother if he knew of any good places but then completely forgot about it. Sorry for not telling you."
Even with his apology, Heena remained silent. She didn't seem angry, but her face was an enigmatic mix of a slight frown and sadness.
In the frozen atmosphere, I couldn't bring myself to say more, just watching her for cues. Fortunately, it wasn't long before she broke the silence.
"Maybe? If I think of the part-time job as a replacement for gaming, it shouldn't be a problem, right...? Of course, it might be more tiring than playing games, but unless it's as demanding as Jung Yoonsung's snack bar, I think it should be fine..."
But if it were that demanding, I'd apologize and only work for a short period. The plan was to balance it with my studies, not let the job take over. That's why I only thought of working three days a week, for less than five hours a day.
I hadn't considered weekend jobs because it would mess up the time I could spend with Heena. I wondered if I was trying to juggle too much while re-studying, but in this matter, I blindly trusted Heena's solution.
Everyone's different, but I wasn't the type who could just study all day long. I had to concentrate intensely during specific times and then unwind, whether through gaming or dating, to maintain efficiency.
Heena always said that there's a limit to how long a person can focus in a day. Individual differences aside, mindlessly sitting for long hours doesn't equate to productive time. In my case, this approach had already proven effective through improved grades.
"Where will you be working?"
"Heeseong hyung mentioned a place about a 20-minute walk from your place. It's about the same distance from our house if I take the subway or bus..."
"Near there... is it the place where oppa worked?"
"You know it?"
"I've been there. But that place..."
After pondering for a moment, Heena's frown deepened. Then, with a look of entreaty, she hesitantly spoke.
"Do you really have to do the part-time job...?"
"Do you dislike me doing part-time work?"
"It's not that... Well, maybe it is."
She hesitated to give a clear reason. It didn't seem like she was worried about my studies. Heena would be busy on weekdays with university life, and I was only planning to work for a short time.
I was extremely curious about her reaction, so I hugged her gently, trying to comfort her.
"It's just for a little while, so why? Huh? Tell me why."
It's not that I would always follow Heena's advice unconditionally, but her suggestions had always been helpful to me. If she had a convincing reason, I was okay with not doing it. I thought I could manage it until summer anyway. It was a light-hearted decision to start with, and afterwards, I'd focus more on studying.
But Heena continued to avoid my gaze, her lips sealed shut. Taking her cheeks in my hands, I looked her in the eyes and kissed her softly, urging her to speak.
"Tell me why."
"Umm..."
As I spoke gently, coaxing her with kisses, she finally began to open up.
"It's embarrassing to say..."
"There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Come on, tell me."
"I feel like I'm being too selfish..."
"You can be a bit selfish. Please, just tell me everything you want. I'm here to listen."
"...There are a lot of gaps between classes in college, with free periods and all. It depends on how you schedule them, but..."
"Uh... I don't know much about that, just what I've picked up from comics, dramas, and what I've heard around."
"When I have free time, I wanted to come see you, but if you're working, it'll be hard to meet..."
"I'm only planning to work three days a week for about five hours each day."
"But still, if you're at home, we can spend that time together!"
"Are you talking about your apartment?"
"Yes!"
"I do plan to come there often, but I'll mostly be at our house anyway."
Aren't we going to see how things go before moving in together? Why does it sound like she's assuming we're already living together? She murmured so softly it was almost inaudible.
"...Eventually, we'll end up living together anyway..."
"What? What did you say?"
"No! I mean! If you have free time, I wanted to come see you studying, but if you're working, there'll be even less time to do that!"
"We can still see each other on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Isn't that enough?"
"It's not enough! I'm sure I'll feel lonely!"
"Wow."
I had nothing more to say since she felt that way. We had been seeing each other almost every day recently. How did she manage when I was busy studying or hanging out with friends during the last two years of school?
"So, you don't like it because we'll see each other less?"
"That's part of it..."
"Is there something else?"
I could understand her wanting to see me every day; that was typical of Heena. But was there another reason? I was incredibly curious.
After biting her lip thoughtfully, Heena finally spoke in a small, hesitant voice.
"I'm worried..."
"Worried about what? My grades?"
"That café, from the manager to the part-timers... it's mostly women... and oppa really liked it there..."
"......."
I gained new information about a café whose name I didn't even know yet, a place I hadn't visited. Most of the employees and part-timers were women. Personally, I'd be more comfortable around more men.
In any case, I thought her worries were unnecessary, but I could understand why Heena might feel uneasy. If she were working in a place with only men, I guess I'd feel a bit uncomfortable too.
"You know that doesn't matter to me, right? You're the only one for me."
"I know... but still..."
"If it really makes you uneasy, I don't mind looking for somewhere else. Or, in fact, it's fine if I don't work at all."
I liked socializing with people, and the part-time job was a way to earn some date money and relieve stress. But there was no need to make Heena feel anxious over it. After all, I had my allowance, and there were other ways to relieve stress.
True, relying solely on my allowance for dates would be a bit tight, but so far, we've managed just fine without spending much.
Right now, Heena was my top priority.
"Should I not do it?"
"...No."
"You're worried. I really don't have to do it. You're more important."
At my words, the corners of Heena's mouth slightly lifted, but they quickly fell again.
"Just... sorry for being so stubborn. You can take the part-time job."
"Hmm..."
Though she verbally gave permission, it still felt a bit unresolved. What to do now.
"However..."
As I pondered how to ease her mind, Heena took my hands.
"Today may have been a bit disappointing."
"Yeah."
She must be referring to what happened earlier. I almost went too far without realizing it.
"We're going to be together on my birthday."
Heena's eyes blazed with determination.
"On that day, make sure I have no more reason to worry."
With her hands tightly holding mine, she brought up such a topic.
"Yes."
I had no other response.
And from that moment on, Heena never left my side for the rest of the day. Literally. Whether it was her linking arms with me or making me play games while she sat on my lap and hugged me, she still looked somewhat displeased.
But it seemed her annoyance wasn't about my part-time job, rather it seemed more directed at Heeseong hyung.
"...I can't forgive him. He's always been like this. Why did he have to call at that exact moment today? It's infuriating, really..."
Her words weren't meant for me to hear, just an uncontainable venting of frustration and anger. The timing was indeed infuriating. But he had called for a good reason.
"And why did he have to offer me that specific job... Wait till I get home."
"......."
It seemed that Heena didn't take it as good news. I had no intention of foolishly saying something like 'Don't be too hard on Heeseong hyung, he called because of me.'
I quietly stroked her hair, letting her anger subside a bit, as she leaned her face against my chest, accepting my touch.
Because of this, it was hard to focus on the game, so I sent Heeseong hyung a message with one hand.
[ Han Yeonho: Hyung, it might be better not to come home today. ]
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Raei Translations
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The next day, I dressed neatly in preparation for the interview. A shirt with a knit sweater, topped with a coat, I was ready to head out. My parents didn't seem too concerned about my part-time job.
After sending Heena off yesterday, I returned home, discussed the job's exact location and schedule with Heeseong hyung, and then talked to my parents about it.
"A part-time job? Sure. You're twenty now, you don't need a consent form. If you want to, go ahead."
"Is it okay?"
"If you want to do it, you should. You might even discover your aptitude."
"Yeah, mom's right. Don't be too fixated on college. Of course, it would be good for you in the long run, but it's not everything in life. Even if you don't go, there's plenty you can do."
"Uh, I'm not planning not to go."
"That's good too. You're only twenty. Try what you want to do, learn what you want to learn. There's no rush."
"And grandma sent a box of Hallabong oranges. They're in the fridge, have some later."
"Really? I should have some right now!"
Their seemingly indifferent attitude always felt like neglect, but hearing this made me realize they just trusted and respected our choices. My older brothers, slightly ahead of me, are also living well without any major deviations.
Moreover, my parents always made sure I felt confident about my choices on the day of the college entrance exams. Now, looking back, I harbored no regrets or unease about those decisions.
Recently, on the day that uncle got married, dad sent me a family photo with grandma, all of them smiling brightly. It came with repeated expressions of gratitude.
Seeing that, how could I ever regret the choices I made that day?
My life has taken a slow step forward, but I will always be proud of myself back then.
Author's Note
An adult-rated extra chapter after the ending... It's still a bit far off, but ;ㅅ; I'll consider it! I'm so happy that you enjoy reading and show so much interest! Love you!