My Demons

Today, I found myself unable to venture into the sewer.

It wasn’t due to pirate or bandit attacks, nor did security guards close off the entrance.

The sewer wasn’t flooded from the rain, and there were no reports of terrifying monsters lurking about.

So, what prevented me from going down there?

I turned to Ellen, who lay beneath a blanket, suppressing sighs, curses, and occasional chuckles.

“Are you alright?”

“…Do I look alright?”

“No.”

She hesitated to speak, perhaps annoyed, as she closed her already half-closed eyes and turned away.

I wanted to say something, to give her a comforting word…

But I held back. It’s true that it hurts even more when you bother someone who’s already in pain.

Indeed.

Our useless human, the skill-less nerd, the wandless wizard.

She was confined to her bed due to an illness.

Well, it’s a familiar tale. It’s not uncommon to suffer and end up lying in a hospital bed while traveling in a foreign city.

Being stabbed by a window, trampled by a runaway horse, breaking or losing the artifact given by the master, struggling mentally due to her own helplessness, and losing money…

No, it’s not just the ordinary suffering of losing all the possessions according to fair standards, meditating for a few days without proper sleep.

…Come to think of it, considering her inability to use skills, it seems her stats weren’t allocated properly either.

In that case, her current health score is just a perfect 10, neither more nor less than that of an average person.

Considering Ellen’s age as well, well, it’s natural for her to fall ill.

“Sigh.”

I dipped a cloth into the cold water from the bucket. Then, I removed the cloth that had been resting on her forehead and replaced it with a fresh one.

“Hmm…”

“Is it cold?”

“No. It feels refreshing…”

While it appeared to be a common illness, we couldn’t be certain since she hadn’t seen a doctor.

There are no genuine professionals in this world who can be called doctors, so we have no other choice.

They say there’s a doctor residing in the capital, but from what I’ve heard, he’s more like a surgeon.

Instead, Grania, the innkeeper, and Daria all claimed to have caught the same illness.

And notably, Sister Olga, a priestess of Grania, mentioned she had the same ailment. She assured us that a day of rest would bring improvement… Well, I have to trust her.

My brief contemplation was interrupted by Ellen’s moans.

“Ugh…”

“Why? Where does it hurt?”

“My arm. My arm hurts.”

“Where?”

I wondered if her sudden illness was a result of the new crossbow she had acquired.

It’s the only thing she can do, being a useless human incapable of much else. The tension that had been tightly wound must have been released a bit.

And now her arm is strained from eagerly pulling the crossbow.

…It’s pathetic, but also incredibly pitiful.

Nevertheless, I massaged her right arm without uttering a word. She blinked in surprise and furrowed her brow.

“What are you doing? Stop it.”

“Quit complaining and go to sleep.”

As I tended to her in this manner, memories from my military days suddenly flooded my mind.

Back when I was promoted to Private, I caught a bout of the flu.

After a week of intense field training and a grueling march, I fell ill the following day, which seemed terribly unfair.

On that painful Saturday, it was Corporal Moon, our squad leader, who took care of me.

Corporal Moon stayed by my side throughout the day, checking my temperature, airing out the room, and even applying an ice pack. He even spoon-fed me mouthfuls of rice porridge.

But when I couldn’t eat it, he went to the PX to fetch a microwave and heated it up for me.

Even when my fellow soldiers volunteered to help, he insisted on doing everything himself.

I can still vividly recall the taste of the hot egg and vegetable porridge I had that day.

I suppose I won’t forget it until the day I die.

“I’m fine now.”

“Oh, okay.”

I shook my head slightly to clear my thoughts and moved to the other side of the bed, starting to massage her left arm.

Truth be told, while I tended to Ellen, I had some unkind thoughts.

Even after recovering from the illness, for a while, I believed I would willingly sacrifice my own life for someone like Squad Leader Moon.

So now…

If I care for her this much, would she possibly take my place and die if I were in danger? That thought crossed my mind.

I’m referring to a young girl who is perhaps three years older than my niece.

“You… you despicable person.”

“What?”

“Oh, nothing. Are you hungry?”

“I’m fine.”

Ellen half-opened her eyes and glanced up at me.

I quickly averted my gaze, afraid that my wicked thoughts would be laid bare.

As I fidgeted with a lost gaze, Ellen suddenly spoke up.

“Why are you going to such lengths?”

“Um…”

“Why are you doing all this for me?”

In response to her sudden question, I forced a casual expression. My lips trembled slightly, but hopefully, she didn’t notice, right?

“What are you talking about? We’re comrades.”

“But… we haven’t even known each other for ten days.”

“What does that matter? We owe each other our lives.”

“We’ve saved each other at least once, so what about the remaining debt?”

Is it because she’s in pain? Her voice sounded more subdued than usual.

“Don’t say strange things and go to sleep. It’s not a good look in a foreign city.”

“Do you think I’m some noble lady and trying to extort money?”

“What?”

What nonsense is she saying?

As I wore an incredulous expression, she turned her head to the other side and muttered quietly.

“If you think you can gain money by indebting yourself to a young lady from a noble family… I’m sorry, but I’m not that person.”

“Hey, what are you saying?”

“Even if you stand by my side, it’s futile.”

“Hey, I…”

I wanted to get angry, but I couldn’t. The anger was stifled by a cowardly thought that had crossed my mind just moments ago.

The reason I cared for Ellen was because I expected her to become a powerful wizard, like in the game. That fact paralyzed my tongue.

The reason I tolerated her irritable behavior was because she reminded me of my niece. My lips remained sealed.

“I have no home, no family, no money. The person who raised me died because of me.”

“……”

“I’ve studied for ten years and I can’t even use magic. I’m just useless, as you say…”

Ellen couldn’t finish her sentence and tightly shut her mouth.

Though she turned her head away, I was still looking at her, so her pained expression was clearly visible.

Usually, I would tease her with a smirk on my twisted face, but now, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything.

Even at the age of thirty, I couldn’t console a child. Perhaps it’s because I’m still a child at heart myself.

Silently, I continued massaging Ellen’s arm.

After Ellen cried herself to sleep, about two hours had passed when Sister Olga returned.

Sister Olga, in her early thirties, had a calm and gentle demeanor befitting a priestess.

She apologized with a remorseful expression.

“…What should we do? It’s difficult to acquire medicine with the city under lockdown.”

“Well… there’s nothing we can do.”

“I feel helpless. How can I be of assistance?”

“No, Sister, I’m grateful for your help.”

Sister Olga belonged to the “Elganoa Sect” within Middle World’s major religion called “Radiantism.” Within Radiantism, the Elganoa Sect held significant influence. Sister Olga had joined the pilgrimage to the holy land with Grania Fegeri. I believe she was originally from a monastery near Grania’s former residence.

In any case, as a clergywoman, Sister Olga was expected to wield divine magic, but her proficiency wasn’t particularly high. She could only perform basic healing and detoxification. Even so, it was quite impressive, and she was also skilled in dual-wielding swords.

She had learned swordsmanship at the monastery… I wonder what kind of monastery teaches assassination techniques?

After sharing my thoughts, I hesitated for a moment, then took out a few coins from my pocket.

“If it wouldn’t be too impolite, may I offer a small donation?” I asked politely, and Sister Olga initially appeared surprised but soon smiled warmly.

“Well, I appreciate your generosity. May the Light’s blessing be with you.”

“And may the Light’s blessing be with you as well, Sister.”

I bowed my head, following the customary greeting of Radiantism, placing my hands on my chest and lips. I made a mental note to remember this gesture.

“I’d like to make a quick stop at a general store I know. Can I entrust Ellen to you?”

“Of course. I was planning to rest in the room anyway.”

“Thank you, then.”

Returning to the room, I equipped myself with my weapons. Given the gloomy atmosphere, no one would question why I carried weapons when going to a general store. It was more of a necessity than a choice.

After a brief inspection of my body once I had put on all the equipment over my regular clothes, I felt well-prepared despite having spent most of my money on the gear.

From the knee-high leather boots to the long leather gloves, a woolen hat, a rounded iron helmet, and a chainmail vest made of connected iron plates, each item was of considerable quality. Money had become scarce after selling the pirate equipment I looted from the seashore battle, but it was worth every coin.

Especially the leather boots and gloves, which were quite expensive. A pair cost eight silver coins. However, they were sturdy and comfortable to wear, so I had no complaints.

Next, I fastened my belt and attached the pugio and buckler.

As for the round shield… it seemed too cumbersome to bring along.

But ah, let’s take it anyway. Who knows what might happen?

Carrying the round shield on my shoulder, I descended to the first floor, where Daria approached me from the bar.

“Oh! What about Ellen?”

“Sister Olga is taking care of her for a while.”

“I see. Where are you going?”

“To get some medicine. I thought about visiting Oleg’s general store.”

At my words, Daria’s eyes widened, and she clapped her hands.

“To the general store? Then you’ll pass by the trading post! That’s great!”

“Huh? What’s great about it?”

“Do you know there’s a grain warehouse in front of the trading post?”

I didn’t know. Was there such a thing?

“There, as per the Lord’s orders, they distributed wheat to the residents.”

“The Lord?”

Come to think of it, the Lord of South Harbor in the game was a bit foolish, but he seemed like a decent person.

Distributing wheat, huh? Seems like an attempt to appease public sentiment.

“Well, it doesn’t concern me anyway. They’re only distributing it to the residents,” I remarked.

“Well, that’s true, but… Can you give me a ride on the way?” Daria flashed a charming smile and shrugged her shoulders.

…With the movement of her shoulders, I noticed something solid beneath them trembling. Due to having my hands gathered and raised on the table, the three-dimensionality became more apparent.

During a conversation, it’s customary to maintain eye contact, but inexplicably, my gaze kept dropping.

“You want to go with me?”

“Yeah. It’s a bit dangerous to wander around alone these days because the city is gloomy.”

With her vibrant red hair, flawless skin, and curvaceous figure with sudden contours… If she just dyed her hair blonde, she could easily fit the role of the queen bee in an American teen drama.

“Well, yeah, you could be in big trouble.”

“Huh? What did you say?”

Oops, I unintentionally voiced my thoughts…

“Oh, no, I mean… It’s a big deal that the city is gloomy.”

“Hmm?”

I made an effort to raise my gaze and met Daria’s sparkling emerald eyes.

…Her eyes are green. I only noticed that now because my attention was elsewhere.

“Yeah, let’s go together then.”

“Really? Thanks!”

Daria smiled widely, tossed her apron aside, and hopped off the counter.

Are we going like this? Well, there are hardly any customers, so it doesn’t matter.

“Don’t you need to prepare?”

“No. Let’s go right away!”

With that, Daria and I began walking. But from behind the bar, a drowsy-eyed boy appeared.

The young assistant chef looked puzzled as he saw Daria about to leave the inn and asked with an innocent expression.

“Daria, where are you going?”

“To receive the distribution!”

“Distribution? Aren’t you supposed to go later to receive it from the owner?”

“I’ll be back! Can you take care of the bar for a bit?”

Daria urgently shouted and pulled my arm, then headed for the door.

Once we were out on the street, it seemed like she noticed my gaze, and Daria blushed slightly and bit her lip.

“…Can you not say anything?”

I gave her a foolish smile and nodded my head.

What… What is this?

Suddenly, it felt like something pink that had been sleeping inside my chest raised its head.