My Attack Stat is Negligible, so I Can’t Help but Rely on Critical Attacks to Succeed!

Vol.11, Ch.355 – Superhuman Kung Fu



The bank hallways looked like a storm had passed through. Jiro bent down and touched one officer on the neck, confirming the vitals that said he was just unconscious.

“Our culprit is so kind, isn’t he? I’ve yet to see any serious injuries occur on our side despite the violence.”

“That just goes to show how skilled he is, to have that kind of luxury,” Lau commented, his eyes scanning the entire scene.

It took some serious ability to take down Hong Kong’s finest police department, as many were trained by Lau and Jiro themselves. It riled up his blood at the anticipation of a good match, but at the same time, a strange sense of anxiety bit him in the pit of his stomach.

“Let’s move on. I’m sure our guy won’t wait for us long.”

Down the stairs and into the areas of the vault, they passed by security doors that should have kept most people out. But somehow, the electronics had been bypassed, the codes unscrambled, and the path lay open without any sign of it being pried open. As the case files had claimed, the mysterious thief possessed devices that allowed him to hack the codes. But the strange thing that happened each time was that the culprit would only make off with a single item – some centerpiece that was immediately noticeable upon entry but not necessarily the most valuable thing. And always, he would leave a note in its place, a calling card that told of his intentions.

It was like he was giving out a personal message. That he could come and go at any time – watching and waiting for the moment when their expectations were highest – and only then he would strike. He would throw himself willingly into danger if it was something that he wanted, no matter what others thought about it.

What would he possibly want in the city’s largest bank? There was certainly a lot of money stored here, but that hardly correlated to his recent hits. There were no considerable gems or pieces of artwork stored here; those were in the hands of the rich, who needed not the ‘standard’ protection meant for public venues.

Arriving at the vault finally, they saw that it was left ajar, an expansive room encompassing more than half of the building’s basement. Rows and rows of safe deposit boxes made it difficult to see too far in, but Jiro and Lau could tell. Their culprit was still within.

They stepped forward, splitting up to cover both sides. But before they could look down the last rows, the vault door suddenly slammed shut.

“Welcome, you two. I’ve been expecting you.”

The voice bounced through the enclosed room, making the two of them look left and right to locate where it came from.

“Tch. Unfortunately for you, we aren’t claustrophobic. You’re locked up against the best two in the entire force, and I’ve got a personal bone to pick with you for treating my coworkers so ‘kindly’.”

Lau cracked his fist, staring intently at his surroundings. Suddenly, the shelf next to him toppled over. With graceful moves, Lau vaulted out of the way before it could crush him. Standing there was a person in black clothing, a mask over his face and pointing a finger at him.

“Nice to see you, Lau Ki Young. The name’s Jokester. I’ve come to take your heart.”

Lau shot off a strange look at his introduction.

“Are you… one of those cosplay junkies down at the harbor when convention season rolls around?”

Jokester stumbled from that accusation, but recovering quickly, he took a moment to defend himself.

“Look, I had this outfit handy from something before, and it would have been a waste to shove it into storage instead-”

Jokester suddenly turned around and caught a punch from Jiro, who had been sneaking up on him. With one swift motion, Jiro was sent flying into a row of shelves with a loud crash, another row toppling over.

“Distractions don’t work on me. I know how you think, Lau.” Jokester chuckled before speaking too softly for him to hear, “I didn’t forget our training.”

In an instant, Jokester flew at him, a fist so fast that Lau’s vision saw afterimages. If it weren’t for his instincts, he wouldn’t have caught the blow. However…

Lau found himself crashing into the wall, his back slamming into something hard. He bounced up quickly, looking back to see a nice imprint of his body on the deposit boxes. If he hadn’t tightened his muscles and emitted his chi, his bones would have snapped instead of the metal giving way.

Jokestar punched another row of shelves aside as he moved toward Lau, causing it to fly up and crash into the back wall.

“Well now, that should give us a bit more room, don’t you think? I’ve been looking for you, and finally, I got your attention.”

Lau stared dumbly at Jokester’s ridiculous strength. It was superhuman, just like the ramblings on the radio had told of. Not to mention, the speed of his movements was incredible. Yet, there remained a lack of polish. A feeling of amateur slackness in movement. Something felt off about the situation.

‘He was a complete mess when it came to combat. Likely owing to the strange abilities he had…’

A punch downward narrowly missed Lau as he rolled away. The floor cracked from the impact. The thick layers of reinforced concrete were no match for the special power that Jokester had.

The attacks continued to rain down, with Lau carefully parrying each one to avoid a direct hit. His experience allowed for him to turn the deadly strikes harmlessly to the side. And soon after, Jiro joined in as well. The two of them fought in sync to counter Jokester.

More and more blows were swept aside, leaving enough of a gap for either Lau or Jiro to sneak a punch in. Slowly, the tide turned as the two expert fighters corralled the raw power of Jokester. Eventually, the attacks stopped altogether, allowing for the pair to unleash a set of combination moves. Blows smashed into Jokester’s upper and lower body, with a finishing punch from both that sent him flying back. He crashed into a row of shelves, which proceed to fall on top of him.

With sighs of relief, Lau and Jiro took a moment to relax. But the hairs on their arms rose as the aura of their opponent suddenly spiked. The shelves were batted away like they had been cardboard, rather than thick metal. A rich purple aura rose from Jokester, who hadn’t been serious before. Pulling out some device from his pocket, he clicked a switch. Instantly, the sprinklers in the vault were set off, raining down upon everyone.

“Aww, c’mon. you’re wrecking the merchandise,” Lau moaned, wondering if the insurance company would get on their asses for getting all the valuables wet.

“I don’t think he’s here for that, partner.” Jiro pointed to Jokester, whose eyes were fixed upon them.

Jokester laughed.

“Smart man. Yes, I came specifically for you. Since you wouldn’t give me any attention unless I pulled off something dramatic such as this! A big conflict to match the moviesque site that exists here!”

Jiro turned to Lau with a look of confusion. It seemed the words coming from their troublemaker wasn’t making any sense. But one glance of Lau’s face told him that Lau wasn’t as lost.

“Tch, so you came for me, huh? Couldn’t recognize you at first, but a few exchanges clued me in. You couldn’t just let me rest, now could you?”

“Like it or not, that’s who we are, Lau. Even though I can force these circumstances onto you, I can’t make you come with me. But what I can do is show you what I’m fighting for. The rest is up to you.”

The water sprinkling onto Jokester seemed to glide right off the purple aura like a shield. Lau knew that he couldn’t hold back. Not against this opponent. He couldn’t remain the normal person he tried to be. A world where he lived out his remaining attachment – lost time at Jiro’s side with none of this crap about Gods to consider.

“Stand back, Jiro. I’m going into legendary mode.”

Pushing his friend aside, Lau’s wet clothing suddenly looked like it was engulfed in purple flames, purging himself of the dampness. With a few waves of his arms, it seemed like the water around him swirled along with his motions, collecting momentarily into streams mid-air before falling to the ground.

“There you go, Lau. You told me once that if ‘I didn’t try, I wouldn’t know.’ I still remember those words fondly.”

Giving each other a nod, Lau and Jokester charged forward, amidst the shower of water slowly filling the vault. As they moved, a veil of water followed them as if animated by their auras.

Jokester’s hard-hitting attacks crashed down and made huge splashes, like explosions of water bursting upon impact. Meanwhile, Lau stuck to soft-style movements, greeting kung fu with graceful movements of Tai Chi. Swirls of water tried to tame and contain the bursts, creating a show of two beasts devouring one another.

Jiro watched in awe as such inhuman abilities collided, sending residual sprays of water across the entire vault. The surroundings shook from such ferocious waves of water taking turns opposing one another. Even those not gifted in reading chi could clearly see the impact of their attacks. The crash of water across the surfaces highlighted such power. Jiro had to shield himself using his own chi to avoid being blasted away.

After several minutes, one beast prevailed. A hulking leap turned into a downward hammer blow, slamming Lau into the ground and causing him to bounce. Caught by his collar, Jokester delivered a massive uppercut that delivered a column of water shooting upwards. It gave off the sound of a drill.

The area shook as debris splashed into the water in the aftermath. Jokester looked up for a moment, seeing a sizable hole carved straight through the top of the vault and into the ground floor of the building. With no hesitation, he leapt up to follow Lau, leaving Jiro to look on with worry. This was not something that ordinary police, even the strongest squad, could hope to match.

Lau found himself twirling through the air, coughing as he shook off the previous blow. He hadn’t expected to eat his own signature move, ‘Thrust That Pierces the Heavens’. But he couldn’t help but acknowledge that the boy that barely knew how to fight had grown much since he first met him.

His tenacity and will to protect outshone Lau’s. It was understandable that he would get this strong, even after so much had happened and all was lost.

And that was why Lau believed that no one needed him anymore. He simply wanted to return to a life where he could be at peace. To mess around with his old friend and experience the life he never had with him. To push aside such larger-than-life things that were no longer his business.

He crashed into stacks of lumber, causing a loud clatter as beams flew everywhere. He had found himself in a construction site. That single attack had given him a ticket several streets down. Moments later, he heard footsteps approaching. There he was again, asking with his eyes to come join him.

“Ugh, you have no trouble beating your elders, so why do you even need my help?”

Lau instinctively rubbed his back, only to realize that he didn’t have any back pain. He had forgotten how it didn’t hurt anymore for him to go all out like now. He quite enjoyed the feeling of being young again, even if it meant that he died once to be here.

Jokester stuck out a hand, which Lau batted away, refusing the offer while he waited for an answer. Looking disappointed, Jokester spoke.

“Because I have things that I want to protect, even if I have lost some. Protecting everyone isn’t something I can do alone, but rather, we all need to pitch in to do it.”

“I don’t know what a washed-up old man like me that only carries Hong Kong action star movie dreams can do. A single man couldn’t hold a candle at all against a god. My attack did absolutely nothing.”

“Perhaps, but it was only one strike. How many failures does it take to succeed?”

Lau looked to the side. He wanted to say ‘far too many’, but his words were stuck in his throat. Disappointment – it seemed to follow him everywhere.

He couldn’t juggle both a career and his own hobbies, ultimately failing at both.

He couldn’t protect his best friend at the crucial moment of demonification.

He couldn’t win against his biggest rival, settling for ties nearly every time.

And his drill couldn’t make it in time to save a single girl, or anyone else after he was blown away.

… He couldn’t do it anymore.

He had given up and decided to leave such thing to the others.

But still, Claude wanted to force him back. To make him leave this ideal world that catered to lingering regrets.

“As many as we are willing to endure.”

Claude’s answer was simple and to the point. He took off his mask and looked at Lau with the same eyes that he always had, undaunted by them all dying. But then, he turned around and started to walk off. Stopping after a few paces, he looked up to the sky, where police helicopters started to approach.

“This is a nice place. I can understand why you would want to stay. But tell me, is this the only thing that you want to protect? Or are you greedy for more? Because like the thief that I’m portraying, I’ve realized that I want to be incredibly greedy, to the point where I don’t feel like stopping until I find a way forward, to protect not just what is around me, but also the future that is to come.”

Lau watched as Claude dashed away, using his agility to outrun his pursuers. All the while, Lau looked up at the sky. The clear blue sky that he wanted to see every day. And for the first time, it felt like it was going to rain.


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