Chapter 5 He's Unworthy
Su Jiamu's pupils widened unconsciously, and she looked at Lin Jie in astonishment as she passed by her again, looking at his back that looked a little pitiful in the night.
Su Jiamu opened her mouth. She wanted to say something, but Lin Jie, who had always walked quietly behind her before, was now in front of her... without waiting for her or stopping.
Her heart felt a little empty, and something seemed to have disappeared forever behind her.
"Lin Jie!"
The community they lived in was an old community, so Su Jiamu's voice easily reached Lin Jie's ears in front.
Just like her laughter not long ago, just like their laughter not too long ago.
So clear, so loud.
Lin Jie stopped in his tracks. He did not look back. He just turned his back to her, tilted his head slightly toward the darkness ahead, and frowned.
What is he doing? Now... what is he going to do?
Let him think about it... Lin Jie remembered that he wanted to express his love tonight, and he wanted to express his love to the beautiful girl behind him... with the bouquet of roses he just threw away.
But now... Lin Jie's heart was cramping one after another. He could bear it and didn't feel very painful, but it was far less painful than the previous painful pains.
It was uncomfortable and a bit hopeless.
"Huh? What's wrong?"
Lin Jie turned around and looked at Su Jiamu with a calm expression. He smiled softly: "You, the college entrance examination is about to take place in a few days. Can you pay attention to your time?"
He looked at Su Jiamu, he looked at her seriously, carefully studied Su Jiamu's face, and finally smiled softly.
Lin Jie is a coward. He rarely looks at Su Jiamu like this, meeting her eyes and looking at the face that haunts him.
From the first time they met, Lin Jie hurriedly avoided Su Jiamu's eyes. In the next three years, he never looked at her openly again.
He finally worked up the courage to take a good look at her.
"I, I...Lin Jie, was that flower you just given...to whom?"
Su Jiamu raised her eyes to look at Lin Jie, but when he looked over, she looked away guiltily. She bit her red lips gently, lowered her head slightly and looked at her toes and asked.
The answers to some questions did not require an answer. Lin Jie thought for a while and did not answer her question, but said: "It's so late, will Auntie scold you?"
"I said hello to her..."
"Well, let's go to bed early."
"Lin Jie..."
"I'm a little tired. I'm tired of waiting for you." Lin Jie turned around and looked at Su Jiamu with a smile.
As if he was afraid that Su Jiamu wouldn't understand, Lin Jie thought for a while and pointed to the gate of the community in the distance and said, "I've been waiting for you there for several hours."
"Sorry……"
Lin Jie disappeared around the corner of the stairs, and Su Jiamu whispered this apology in a daze... He must not have heard it, and even if he heard the apology, it seemed meaningless and insincere.
Su Jiamu looked back at the trash can. The bright roses were still so dazzling under the dim light. She stared blankly at the bright red, and suddenly felt something stuck in her throat.
She coughed twice, thinking it was because of her drinking. She patted her head lightly in annoyance.
The panic that came from nowhere seemed to slowly fade away. Su Jiamu tilted her head slightly and glanced at the night sky above her head... The moon was very round and the starry sky was beautiful.
Everything was so beautiful. She held up her hands and breathed lightly inside. Then she thought about it... She felt that she should find the right time to explain it to Lin Jie.
Su Jiamu had never said those words... She didn't think Lin Jie was a dog licker or anything... She just thought it was a bit funny, so she didn't refute.
Lin Jie didn't seem very angry, Su Jiamu thought.
He likes her, so the trivial things she did before will only be trivial and will not affect their relationship.
"Then find time to apologize to him later, and just treat him to dinner." Su Jiamu said softly, and then went upstairs. When she passed Lin Jie's door, she glanced at it, hesitated, and finally had no plans to do it today. Apologize properly to him.
"There will be plenty of time in the future."
……
Lin Jie knew that she would never explain it to him.
Because Su Jiamu doesn't have to care about her own mood at all. She doesn't have to care about anything. She is the one who is loved, and the one who is loved is always confident.
He laughed a little self-deprecatingly. If she really cared about him, she would not push herself for an outsider... let alone be angry with herself for an outsider.
Maybe it can't be said. Lin Jie walked to the sofa in the living room a little lost. He threw himself on the sofa with indescribable sadness. The picture that flashed before his eyes was always the picture of the boy touching Su Jiamu's head intimately. .
Perhaps it cannot be said that Lin Jie may be the outsider.
She wasn't even willing to explain anything to herself, or even knock on the door.
Lin Jie couldn't figure out why the gentle girl wearing a white cute cartoon T-shirt in his memory could say such things to him.
Lin Jie could accept failure, but he never thought that he would lose so badly.
The picture scroll written sincerely ended up in a perfunctory and careless way.
Lin Jie picked up his phone and looked at the many messages with red dots on it. He had never felt that red was so dazzling, and he had never felt so tired tonight.
"Brother Jie, how's it going?"
Zhao Yan's voice messages came one after another. He seemed to believe that Lin Jie could succeed. There was a sense of pride in every word, and he kept urging Lin Jie to give him a guarantee and let him treat him the next day.
Lin Jie suddenly laughed as he listened, but his vision began to blur as he smiled. He was silent for a long time before sending three words.
"I do not deserve."
Any fool knows what that bouquet of roses is about, but Su Jiamu just doesn't know.
She chose silence.
Silence is taken as rejection.
Rejected...so be it.
Lin Jie lay on the sofa, stretched out his hand, and looked at his fingers... What if he still cares about it in the future?
Then pretend not to care until one day you really don't care.
……
Lin Jie rarely lost his composure in front of Su Jiamu, but this was the only time he lost his composure, which made Su Jiamu, who was not sober after drinking, feel unhappy.
She was a little unhappy when Lin Jie was like this in front of her.
In short, she did things that she regretted to the core in the future, and this confession under all the good care ended in vain.