Moonlit Waters

“You should put on some make-up,” she says from behind me.

I meet her eyes through the mirror. “You think?”

She nods. “Doesn’t need to be anything special. Just some mascara and maybe eyeliner? Or lipstick. I’d probably choose two of the three, we don’t wanna go overboard after all.”

“Hm.” I’ve never worn make-up to school before. In fact, I’ve never had make-up on at all until a few days ago, when I’d been with just my friends. Letting the whole school see me like that is a different thing entirely.

“Most won’t even know,” Claire says as if I’d thought aloud. She steps closer and puts one arm around me, leaning her head against my shoulder. “You’re gorgeous anyway. But if you wanna be able to wear make-up without too many people realising in the future, you’ll have to start at some point. Before they get too used to it. And only that way you’ll know whether you really like it.”

She stops and raises one eyebrow, waiting for my decision.

She’s right, of course. How couldn’t she be?

“Lipstick, then,” I say, knowing very well how difficult it is to nail eyeliner on another person. If I had to apply it myself it would look even worse, of course.

“Aight.” She steps forth and rummages in one of the bags, then hands me a lipstick. “That should be slightly darker than your lips but not too much.” The mascara follows.

I open the lipstick and carefully apply it to my lips. Together with the mascara, it gives my face more colour, more contrast. The mascara is really obvious since my eyelashes are usually far less obvious, but I like it. It’s more discreet than the entire load Claire had given me last time and I like that because I still look very much like me, just a little more… model-y? Less normal, more like a confident woman who really knows what she’s doing.

“Like what you’re seeing?” Claire asks with a smirk.

I blink, realise I’ve been staring, and look away.

“Hey,” she laughs. “Nothing wrong with that.”

She begins fiddling with my hair, combing it through with her fingers one last time. She gave me a cap to put over it for the night and really, it looked a lot less dishevelled in the morning. I’ll probably have to get one myself. I like sleeping with my hair open and I like just leaving the house without having to do much on my face, but if these little things can have such a huge impact on how I look, if these little things can make me a proper woman, wouldn’t it be stupid not to listen to my friend’s advice?

She picks up the mascara and begins applying it on her lashes.

“First step towards your new self is acknowledging that you don’t just look right or pretty, but absolutely fucking gorgeous.”

I eye her from the side. I know I’m pretty and beautiful, but wouldn’t consider myself top of the scale.

She stares back. “C’mon, say it. I’m gorgeous.”

“That’s dumb,” I say plainly, blushing.

She puts away the mascara and looks me right in the eyes.

“Say it.”

“I want to be confident, not arrogant,” I reply with a frown. I’m not trying to become a self-absorbed asshole.

She sighs. “There’s a difference between narcissism and being a positive person, you know?” She rolls her eyes. “And anyway, this isn’t about self-love, it’s the fucking truth. You better accept that soon, else you’re going to have some pretty weird interactions.” She pauses and puts both of her hands on my shoulders, holding me firmly in place.

“Say it.”

My blush deepens and I look at my toes. “I’m gorgeous,” I mumble.

“Louder.”

I raise my voice a little so that I’m talking normally. “I’m gorgeous.”

“Look me in the eyes while saying it.”

Now I’m the one to roll my eyes. “C’mon, this is-”

“Do it.”

I look up. She’s openly grinning at me, like she’s enjoying this. “I’m gorgeous,” I say firmly, holding her gaze and a small smile creeps onto my lips.

“Good. And now you tell it to the mirror.” She turns me by my shoulders, taking position behind me, not letting go of me.

I look up and at the mirror. I’m the girl in the mirror. I’m that beautiful person behind the glass.

I look up and meet my eyes and they sparkle and my lips pull into a grin. I love the way I look.

“I’m gorgeous.”

“Great!” Claire says, giving me a light slap on the back, finally stepping away. “You do that every morning from now on. Make sure you don’t forget.”

-

“Lena!”

I turn and see Alex hurriedly making his way towards me.

“I’ll see you later, girls,” I tell Mika and Emma. Emma raises her eyebrow and gives me an insinuating look but Mika nods.

“Yeah, see you.” She gives a small wave and the two walk away.

“Hey,” I say when he gets close enough and hug him hello.

“Hey,” he replies.

We untangle and walk together to our next class.

“I was worried you’d fallen sick,” he says as we make our way through the crowds.

“Huh?” I give him a confused look. “Why?”

“Because you hadn’t been at the bus stop earlier and wouldn’t reply my texts.”

Whoops. “Right, sorry.” Honestly, between make-up and telling myself I was gorgeous, I absolutely forgot. “I slept at Claire’s after dancing and she drove me here, too.”

“Did she tell you to put on make-up?”

I grin. “She did. Do you like it?”

“Quite the controlling friend you’ve made, huh?”

I look up, surprised at his lack of enthusiasm, and see that his brow’s furrowed.

“Why do you think that?” I ask, suddenly reminded of his reaction when I’d first told him about Claire. There’s something he isn’t telling me, isn’t there?

“She’s telling you to do all these things and you do them-” he begins, but I interrupt him.

“Because I want to do them. Okay sure, she suggested going dancing or putting on make-up, but enjoy it and anyway, I’m still so new to this, I just need a little help. She’s Isa.” I grin. “I’m dumb, don’t you see? I’m absolutely incapable of doing this on my own and she helps me.”

He gives me a pained look. “That’s my whole point, Lena. You’re not incapa-”

“Hey there, lovebirds,” a well familiar voice chirps from behind me, interrupting Alex.

It’s Claire and the look he gives her says more than clearly that he doesn’t want her here. So I glare back, silently telling him to shush it and not alienate my friend.

Her arms gently close around my stomach and she hugs me from behind. It only works because I’m carrying my bag on one shoulder and now I take it off completely because her shoulder pushed it away.

Her chin comes to rest on my shoulder as she nuzzles her cheek into the crook of my neck.
“How’s it going?” she asks then, barely moving.

I’ve stopped walking so she doesn’t fall. Now I move to gently stroke her hands with my fingers, pointedly not looking at Alex.

I don’t care that we’re not usually this cuddly. Maybe I just want to show Alex that we’re really, really good friends, maybe I just enjoy the physical contact. It doesn’t matter.

“Good,” I say, slightly turning my head.

She lets go and steps past me so that the three of us form a circle.

“Good to see you again, Alex,” she chirps but doesn’t offer a hug.

He glares at her, standing stiffly in exactly the position I left him in. “Hi,” he says then, coolly.

“You two know each other?” I ask, surprised. Neither of them has said anything about it, I’d assumed they just knew each other's names because I told them about the other.

Claire nods but Alex replies before she can. “We’ve met. Done a group project together some time ago. Didn’t really go well.”

The last sentence he says in a manner that couldn’t say fuck off more clearly.

Claire ignores the tone and smiles at him openly. “Strange that you say that. I thought it’d gone just perfect.”

Then she turns to me. “Lena, darling, I had a great idea for our little project just now,” she says in a conspirational tone.

“You did?”

“Yes,” she beams. “We should go clubbing on Friday. The club in my town has free entry until midnight then.”

I shrug. “Sure. Let’s do that.”

I’ve never been clubbing before, but I’m sure it can’t be that bad, right? And if Claire thinks it’s a good idea…

Alex looks at his phone and gives Claire another glare before turning to me. “We need to go to class now.”

I nod, then turn to Claire.

“So I guess I’ll see you later?”

“My classroom’s in the same direction. So I can accompany you-” she halts herself, worriedly glancing at Alex. “If that’s alright.”

“’Course it is!” I say before he can tell her to piss off and take her hand to make sure she doesn’t fall behind.

Alex doesn’t look happy at all. But as we make our way through the corridors, he smooths his features and whispers, “I was hoping we could spend the evening at the waterfall? We haven’t been there in some time and the weather’s already getting colder. There won’t be many opportunities before it gets colder.”

“The free entry is a once-in-a-quarter thing,” Claire says apologetically from my other side. “You could just have your date on Saturday, right?”

I turn back to Alex and shrug.

“The weather’s supposed to be really bad on Saturday,” he says almost pleadingly.

I shrug again. Is my boyfriend actively trying to get in the way of my friendship with one of my best friends? “We can just play Mario Cart with Pearl, can’t we? You said you wanted to do that anyway.”

He opens his mouth but I take his hand before he can say anything and continue.

“We’ll have our date by the waterfall another time, okay? I’m sure there’ll be at least one more beautiful day.”

-

He isn’t here, I realise, looking around the stony shore. He asked me to come because he wanted to talk and now he’s not here.

I’m still not sure how I’m supposed to feel about the interaction between Claire and Alex earlier. I am sure, though, that that exactly is what Alex wants to talk to me about.

“Selena,” his voice sounds from not too far away and I turn and see him come towards me along the narrow path.

“Hi,” I say, trying to bury my hands in my pockets to hide them from the cool wind. Of course, the pockets on my jeans are way too small; old habits die hard. So instead, I pull my cardigan tighter around my chest and cross my arms to keep it that way.

“Hi,” he says, stopping a little too far away. He doesn’t try to hug me but I don’t feel like hugging him, even though it would probably be the appropriate thing to do?

“So,” I say, moving my weight from one foot to the other. “What did you want to talk about?”
The breeze picks up, moves my hair and easily passes through the thin layers of clothing. I shiver slightly.

For a moment he just looks at me, like he’s genuinely worried. Then he seems to pull himself together and says, “I don’t want you to go to the club with Claire.”

I open my mouth, then close it again. I mean, I’d considered the possibility, but hearing him say it like that…

“Why?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t feel good about it. It’s like… I really don’t like Claire and I mean you knew that I had my reservations, but this is worrying me. She’s changing you.”

“For the better,” I say firmly. What’s he even getting at?

“You say that. But I’ve got a different perspective on it and I feel like she’s manipulating you.”

“But why would she do that? And anyway, she’s helping me. Isn’t manipulating without any negative outcomes a completely different thing?”

He shrugs helplessly. “I don’t know. Maybe… Maybe she’s trying make us drift apart.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Really?” I ask pointedly. “You’re being paranoid, Alex.”

“Am I?” He says it like I’m the stupid one and I hate that. “We’re having our first fight right now.”

“But that’s not because of her,” I reply heatedly. “You’re the one being jealous.”

“I’m not jealous, Lena. I’m trying to protect you, okay?”

“But why?” I yell, finally glad that we didn’t meet at my place. I don’t feel the cold anymore. My blood is boiling. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“I told you she’s-”

“STOP! LYING!”

For a moment, both of us stand perfectly still in shock.

Then I take a deep breath and straighten myself. “You need to tell me what’s going on, Alex. Claire is a great person, to me. She's one of my only good friends at school and I won’t just throw that away. So you better decide how important this is to you. And until you do, I am not the fucking problem here.” And with that I turn and walk away, leaving Alex with a desperate look in his eyes. He doesn’t follow me, though.