Monster

My eyes cracked open, back to reality. The night hung heavy overhead, but the moon cut through it, bouncing off the white snow like a spotlight. Flakes drifted down, catching that light, but I barely noticed. I was flat on my back, staring at the sky, feeling the cold burrow into me. But it wasn’t just the cold. Something deeper gnawed at me, something that’d been festering since I finally figured it all out.

Death. I didn’t fear it anymore. It was always there, always tied to me, and now it wasn’t some vague idea or distant threat. Death was the real deal. The thing that gave me power wasn’t just some dark force. It was Death itself… the Grim Fucking Reaper. Once I got that through my head, everything that had happened so far started making sense.

I let out a slow breath, watching it fog up and disappear. I was Death’s monster, not his messenger or his acquaintance. I was who he sent when he needed bodies on the pavement. When it was time to prune the world's dead weight and corrupted branches, he sent me. And weirdly enough, I was fine with it. There’s a kind of peace in knowing you belong to something inevitable. Maybe because it all seemed so much bigger than I was, unstoppable in a way that wouldn’t even allow me to imagine fighting it. No more running, no more doubts. I knew the truth now… took me long enough to see it.

I glanced around. Winter had arrived. Last thing I remembered, it was barely mid-fall season. Cold had started creeping in, but nothing like this. Now, we were deep in it. Frosty the fucking snowman could be standing over me, watching me wake up, if anyone had gotten around to building him yet.

As the snow piled around me, I replayed Peter Grimwood’s final words. His threats echoed in my mind, cutting through the stillness of the night like a blade. He had found my family… the one thing I had fought to protect; the daughter I had kept secret from this monstrous life. He knew about her… had seen her… touched her. I wished I could kill him again.

Even more urgent at the moment… he had done something to Autumn. I swallowed hard at the thought, my chest tightening, but I couldn’t shake the truth. Autumn… the girl who had somehow become an anchor in this endless storm… Peter had touched her too. After everything I’d been through, after all the blood and darkness, I had found something real. Something fragile and precious, and it might be in jeopardy. I didn’t know what it was yet, or what fruit it would bear.

I clenched my fists in rage, feeling the familiar power stir beneath my skin. My connection to Death was absolute now, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t be hurt in other ways… through others. I hated Peter for whatever he’d done. He had marked Autumn, bound her with some kind of power, some evil that I couldn’t understand yet. I had no clue what it was, or how it would present itself… but I knew it would. I’d thought I’d found some solace in her, some escape from the monster I’d become, but now it was all twisted, tainted by the touch of that necromancer.

I remembered the way Peter had looked at me, the smugness in his eyes as he made his threats. His voice had been like venom, sinking into me, and I could see the sick satisfaction he got as he spoke the words. He didn’t just hate the collective families anymore… he hated me; for interrupting his plans. For getting in the way.

But Peter was gone now; taken by Death itself, just like the others who had stood in my way. I had watched him fall, watched the fear spread across his face in those last moments when he realized the true power I had drawn from. He’d been so sure of himself, so sure he had control. But no one could stand against Death. Not even him… not even the Unseen Primeval in its own dimension. Yet… the effects of Peter’s power might still linger.

I knew the first thing I needed to do was find Patrick. Whatever Peter had done, Patrick was tied to it. He gave him that hairbrush. He whispered in Patrick's ear… told him things… and I got the feeling that wasn’t the only time. I felt it in the vision… saw it in Patrick's eyes. There was a familiarity in the terror for sure. Like he had hoped not to see him again. Peter had gone to him more than the time I saw in the vision. How did it even happen? Wouldn’t Annabelle have seen it? Shelta?

I didn’t know. I had nothing to go on. However, I did have one echo of words that played in my mind that gave me peace. I trusted in Annabelle’s words, that Peter wouldn’t kill any others. Whatever it was that he’d done with that hairbrush… we’d figure it out.

A strange calm washed over me as I lay there in the snow, the memory of his terror replaying in my mind. He was gone. Forever. And with him, some part of my old self had been ripped away, leaving nothing but this, the cold, the darkness, the certainty. I was part of something bigger now, something unstoppable. I didn’t have to fight it anymore. I was embracing it.

The night pressed in on me, silent, but I felt no fear. The snow, the cold, the woods, it all felt like home. My world had been reduced to this, and I was no longer pretending otherwise. This life… it would be hard. Very hard! Jon told me so. Annabelle told me so. I knew it, just based on my time as this thing. Now, knowing what I know, there was no escaping it. It was my burden to bear. I might have friends now; I might have Autumn… our connection for a mere moment… but there would come a day when I would be alone again. Truly and utterly alone in a twisted world, and I would be the darkest part of it. Shadow… and death. But… that day was not today.

Autumn, my daughter, my family... I'd protect them, no questions asked. No second-guessing, no hesitation. It was simple: anyone who dared come after them would be snuffed out, no matter where they crawled from. Some twisted beast, something out of another world… it didn’t matter. Death wasn’t my enemy; it walked with me, step for step. I wasn’t the monster I used to fear. I’d become something worse. Something colder, more ruthless. I don’t care if it’s right or wrong to think this way, but if someone came after my family, they were as good as dead. No warnings, no second chances. Just death, swift and final.

The only thing that scared me now was losing them. The day they’d be gone, when the last one would pass, leaving me alone. I’d still be here, long after they were gone. Autumn, my family… how much longer would they even share this world with me?

I realized then and there, I had to make every minute with them count. All that bullshit about keeping my distance, thinking it was safer for them, was gone. Ashes. A fear I couldn’t even fully remember now. I wasn’t scared of what kind of life they’d have anymore. I wasn’t going to hide away, pretending it was for their own good.

The decision came quickly, no second-guessing. I was going back to them, all of them. The only question now was how to do it right. I was ready, but I had to make sure they were. How do you drop a bomb like that on your family? How do you tell them, ‘Hey, not dead, been hiding from you for years! Oh yeah, I’m not really alive either; I’m actually powered by Death and the essence of some kind of Primeval killing machine. Miss me?’ I’d have to work on that.

I got to my feet slowly, snow sliding off my frozen clothes. Night hung over me, heavy and cold, like a shroud. My boots crunched through the snow, about a foot and a half deep, but I moved forward, steady. Nothing held me back anymore. This is who I am now, and I accepted it completely. No turning back. No weakness. No mercy. Just swift death for anyone in my way.

I had to get to Autumn. There was no time to waste. Whatever Peter had done, I needed to make sure she was okay. She was my top priority now that I was back. I knew, logically, she’d be safe, as long as Annabelle was right, but the gnawing feeling in my gut told me I couldn’t just sit still. I needed to see her, now.

The snow crunched beneath my boots as I moved through the city, each step sinking into the fresh powder that blanketed the streets. The cold was biting, slipping through the gaps in my clothes, but I barely acknowledged it. The city, usually bustling, was eerily quiet now under the heavy snow. Cars sat frozen in place, coated in thick layers of powder. Streetlights flickered above, casting a dull glow through the swirling flakes, illuminating empty sidewalks and abandoned storefronts. Everything looked so different like the whole world had been dipped in silence. The wind cut through the streets, carrying the sharp scent of cold metal and distant wood smoke. This winter storm looked like it had been going for a few days at least to build up to what it had become. I hadn’t ever seen snow like this in the few years I loomed over St. Louis.

I kept my head down, hands shoved deep in my pockets, moving quickly but careful not to slip on the icy patches that had formed beneath the snow. That would be embarrassing… especially if someone knew me. The big bad monster busts his ass in the middle of the road.

Buildings loomed on either side of me, their brick facades frosted over, windows fogged with condensation. The occasional flurry of movement from inside told me people were still around, but it felt like a ghost town out here. Each block blurred into the next as I pushed through the drifts, my focus locked on reaching her.

The houses on my way to her had taken on that storybook winter look; white rooftops, trees hanging low with the weight of snow, fences half-buried. But it didn’t feel magical. It felt too quiet. Too still. As I rounded the corner, off a highway into the west county area, to their street, my heart pounded a little harder. Their home sat isolated on the large property, blending into the backdrop of trees like something out of a postcard. Snow covered the yard, untouched and pristine, the bushes along the perimeter of the house sagged under the weight of it.

I stopped just across the street, eyes on the house. Calm. Too calm. I couldn’t tell if anyone was home. I moved closer, my breath fogging in the cold air, my footsteps almost silent under the thick snow. The windows were dark, and for a moment, my chest tightened. Were they even here?

Then, movement. I caught a glimpse of her through the front window, passing by. Autumn. She moved in and out of view, going about her evening like nothing had changed. She was safe. Life was continuing inside that house.

She had just finished in the shower and had come down in her little workout shorts and loose shirt she liked to sleep in. Her smell overtook me as soon as she was in range, flooding my mind with another feeling that calmed me even more, the sense of her presence.

I stomped through the front yard, pushing my way through the thick snow, leaving a messy path behind me. I knocked, the sound dull against the wood, but it was loud enough to make her stop whatever she was doing inside.

I heard her breath catch, the kind of sound you make when you're not expecting anyone. She froze, probably wondering who’d show up unannounced on a night like this. Then she moved, heading toward the main door. When our eyes met through the window, I could see the shock on her face.

Seeing her again hit me like a punch to the gut. It felt like I’d been missing her for a lifetime, and now, here she was, right in front of me. Her face… it was like seeing it again for the first time. The sharp lines of her jaw, the way her chin curved just right, the softness of her lips. And her eyes, those deep brown eyes, staring straight into mine like she could see everything I was already. It was like she didn’t even need to say anything; I already knew exactly what was going through her head.

She looked strong, like always. Her body was all muscle, toned, and tight like she was ready to move at a moment’s notice. But at the same time, she was so protective of me… cared for me. Everything about her just screamed power and control, yet there was this softness, this familiarity I had missed more than anything.

I couldn’t believe I was finally back with her. After all this time jumping between worlds, slaying monsters… creatures, titans… it felt surreal. Those worlds… those things were big, looming large in my mind… too big to comprehend. But this… this world, with her… it was small and fragile. It was the most important of all of them.

Here she was. And with just one look, I could see the relief wash over her. She didn’t even hesitate after that; she was already moving, fast as ever, like she couldn’t wait a second longer. She practically flew toward the door. She fumbled with the locks, her hands moving too fast, the sound of metal clicking and sliding in the silence. Then she ripped the door open, throwing it to the side without a second thought, and jumped straight at me.

In an instant, we collided, our arms locking around each other as if we were afraid to let go. She clung to me, her grip almost desperate, like she’d been holding onto a silent fear the whole time I was gone. Her body trembled against mine, and I could feel the weight of her relief in every shuddered breath she took. Her head pressed into my chest, and I hugged her back, just as tight, like if I let go, I might lose her right there in that moment.

We stood there, the cold biting at us, snowflakes drifting down around us and inside the house, but none of it mattered. She was here. She was safe. And in that moment, that was all I could ever want, all I needed. Her warmth, her presence… it was everything.

“Sam…” she breathed, her voice shaky and broken, her body pressing into mine like she couldn’t get close enough. “I thought… I thought I lost you. I didn’t know if you were coming back…”

The sound of her voice, the crack in it, ripped through me. I pulled her even closer, trying to reassure her, to take away the pain she must have felt. “I’m okay… we’re okay,” I whispered, though my own voice felt too small for what I wanted to say. “Everything’s alright now. I’m back.”

We stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, letting the silence fill the space between us, thankful for every second we had together again. Her scent filled my nose, that familiar mix of warmth and home, and I held her tighter, feeling the steady beat of her heart against mine. Just the feel of her again, the closeness, the reality of it… it was almost too much; like a dream I thought I’d never have again. I never wanted to let go, never wanted to lose this moment.

“Where have you been… no one has heard anything from you…” Autumn said, pulling me inside her home. “When Peter took you, they said he took you somewhere you may never come back from…” She shook the thought away, casting it into the abyss to never dwell on it again. Now that I was here, she could let it go. “Then we saw you that night when Peter attacked. He touched you…” She placed her hand on my chest and neck where Peter had grabbed me and tried to steal my life force. “Then, you vanished again… both of you.”

“I don’t know. I just kind of… woke up. I came straight here.” I was brutally honest, unsure of how to start telling her everything. “A lot has happened recently… it's hard to explain it all away.”

She tugged me deeper into her house, never releasing her grip on my wrist as she led me through the familiar, yet oddly empty, rooms. “Where are we going?” I asked, glancing around as we stepped inside.

“Kayla and Arthur are gone,” Autumn replied, glancing back at me with a conspiratorial smile. “We can have some privacy over there if anyone comes back.” She pointed toward the guest side of the house. “Mom and Dad are out in town dealing with some stuff. Not sure what…”

I could sense where her mind was heading. There was a spark of urgency in her eyes, a need to reclaim the time she thought was lost to her. She was scared of losing me again, of being left with nothing but memories of what could have been. I could feel the weight of her worries, knowing she wouldn’t admit it… not even to herself.

Autumn had to be terrified of just how deeply she felt for me, and what losing me for good would mean. I could almost see those fears hanging around her like a heavy necklace. She was afraid I’d leave her so she could pursue a “normal” life, while I got pulled deeper into darkness, where she couldn’t go.

I hadn’t shared the truth about my true nature with anyone yet, not my deepest thoughts, and my most recent revelation, but Autumn would be the first. I wanted to tell her everything, but for tonight, there were other topics we needed to cover first.

Once we reached the guest side of the house, she shut the door behind us with a soft click. The moment the door was closed, Autumn stepped closer, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me down to her. She kissed me slowly, just like she always did. Her movements were deliberate, almost languid as if she were trying to savor every second of it. There was no rush; she wanted to make it last. We eased into the wall next to the door, losing ourselves in the moment.

Time felt suspended as we moved through the small kitchen area, brushing against the counters as we made our way to the living room couch. We finally settled into the silence of the guest side, me sinking into the cushions with Autumn perched in my lap.

“You’re different,” she said, pulling back to look at me, a hint of concern in her eyes.

I tilted my head, curious. “How do you mean?”

“You’re… quieter,” she said with a light laugh. “If that’s even possible.”

I nodded slowly, realizing she was right. I probably was acting differently, more subdued. It was the calm that settled over me now, a shift in my perspective. I felt at ease, finally knowing the answers I had been searching for.

“I’m sorry. I’ve got a lot on my mind,” I admitted, hoping to steer the conversation toward the weight I had been carrying.

“What happened to you?” Autumn asked, adjusting herself to sit more beside me than on top. She leaned back against the arm of the couch, her legs draped over my lap. Pulling a thick blanket from the back of the cushions, she wrapped it around herself, clearly feeling the chill in her thin shorts and shirt. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here to listen.”

I nodded, bracing myself to recount the horrors I’d endured in the place where Peter had sent me. “It was… unbearable,” I began, my voice heavy with the memories. “Just trying to breathe there felt impossible. There was fire… everywhere. It was just like Mercy’s hellfire. You remember how red it was?” I glanced at her, hoping she’d remember that vivid color, so hard to describe.

“Barely… almost like blood red… but like, alive and hungry.,” she replied, her brow furrowing as she dug into her own recollections.

“Exactly like that,” I pressed on, the memories flooding back. “The world looked like it had been scorched by it. It felt like I was walking through a furnace. The moment I stepped foot there, the heat clawed at me, tearing me apart from the inside out.”

Autumn ran her fingers gently along the unmarked skin of my wrist, her touch both soothing and charged with worry. “I can’t even imagine,” she murmured, her voice laced with the weight of pain as she envisioned my suffering.

“Yeah,” I replied, swallowed by the memories. “It was suffocating, but I couldn’t stop. I kept moving, driven by the beast inside… the need to escape, to find my way back to you and everyone else. I knew I had to get out to stop Peter. The urgency of that thought propelled me forward in the worst moments. But the monster… it wouldn’t die there. The fires literally consumed me, eating my body piece by piece, burning away pieces of me… a lot.” I shook my head as the thoughts replayed. “But the monster kept healing me fast enough, so I didn’t just burn away. It was a nightmare. Like being a piece of meat caught in a tug-of-war between two dogs; fire and regeneration.”

“How did you get out?” Autumn asked, her voice trembling slightly at my words. She tried, but her face told me that she was struggling to even imagine such a place. “Charles was saying there’s no way out. I really thought that,” her voice faltered, trailing off. I could see the distress washing over her as she remembered her fears. “It felt like I’d never see you again.”

“Well, I’m not going anywhere,” I assured her, leaning in closer to make my promise feel more tangible. “Like I told you before, I’ll stay as long as you want me to.” I could see the tension in her shoulders relax slightly, but I knew I needed to share the whole truth. “Peter sent me there because he couldn’t kill me. He said he was leaving me for his master. But once I found Peter’s master… I killed him.”

The words hung in the air, heavy with the gravity of what I had done… what I had been in that place. I hoped that sharing this truth would draw us closer and ease her worries, but the tension only thickened.

“You fought it?” Autumn’s voice trembled slightly, curiosity and fear intertwining. “What was it?”

“It was… massive,” I replied, my thoughts drifting back to that grotesque creature. “The sheer size was… beyond description. It was something called a Primeval. Apparently, there are more of them, lurking in places like that. Maybe even here in this world… hidden in the shadows.” I paused, my fingers tapping nervously against my chest. “The monster… there’s so much more to it than I ever realized. It helped me… showed me more of itself.”

A flicker of concern passed over Autumn’s face as she stared into my eyes, her expression intense like she could see right through to my very soul. She lifted her head off my chest, studying me as if searching for answers. “Something else happened, didn’t it? I can tell there’s more… something you’re not saying.” Her gaze pierced through the layers of my defenses.

“Yeah,” I said plainly, feeling the weight of the truth settle in my chest. “Something did happen… when Peter was killed.”

When Autumn pulled back enough to see my face, she seemed worried. Then, her face settled out to the same calm demeanor she always had with me in our alone moments. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

I took a moment, preparing myself to literally speak the words. I still felt my calm; that wouldn't change. The peace came from my purpose, and it protected my mind, but outside worries did creep around the borders of that calm.

“I know…” was all I said to her.

Autumn's eyes were blank at first, with no clue as to what I meant. I knew she'd get there, so I waited while her mind put the pieces together. As I thought, it only took her a minute or so before she realized what I was talking about. When she cut her eyes back up to me quickly, I only nodded.

“You did? How?” Autumn asked.

I thought it interesting that she did not actually ask what I was but instead was curious when I found out. She honestly didn't care what I was; it didn't matter to her. She was just excited that I finally had my answer. I hope that would stay the same after she knew.

“When he took Peter and me to the in-between, he killed Peter… not me. Everything had been adding up slowly over the past two years, more so the last few months. It's literally been like a trail of breadcrumbs that my brain has been trying to ignore. I've been trying to explain things away and never say the words out loud. Still, the voice in my head just got too loud to ignore. When I was in that hell dimension, looking that Primeval in the eyes and seeing the way he looked at me... I knew.” I tried to explain to get her there a little more before I dropped the hammer.

Autumn’s eyes still looked wide with excitement, but there was a slight hint of something else behind them. I think deep in her heart, she knew that whatever I was would have to be something powerful and beyond anything she knew.

“Once I say it, there's no taking it back,” I warned her. “Things might change…”

“Sam, it's okay. Just tell me,” Autumn assured. Her mind couldn’t perceive what could be so bad that it made me drag my feet.

"I'm not something your family can fight," I began, my voice thick with grim finality. "I'm not some creature you can read about in your family's bestiaries. My power isn't even my own. It's just a small piece of something older… darker. The first to ever make a deal with him… the entity from the fields." I paused, watching the unease creep into Autumn’s eyes, her grip on my hand tightening as I continued. "The monster inside me is a part of the life force of a Primeval… the very first Primeval. Ancient, powerful, and starving. Its hunger is endless, and it only craves one thing: to kill, to destroy. But that’s only the surface. The entity… he's something far beyond that. He claimed that first Primeval as his own."

The words felt like poison on my tongue, and I struggled to say them, trying to deliver the truth piece by piece to make it easier on her mind. “It was called… Myoordrakien, or something close to that. The entity told me that was how my mind could comprehend it, but its real name… it’s far beyond what I can even hear, let alone say or explain.” The name itself felt like a shadow stretching across the room, cold and suffocating.

Autumn's eyes widened, her face blank as she tried to grasp the enormity of what I was telling her. It was like dumping an ocean of truth into her all at once, and I knew it was overwhelming. “Myoor… Myoord…” she stammered, attempting to say the name herself.

“…drakien. Myoordrakien,” I said, helping her through it.

She repeated it under her breath, her voice small. "Myoordrakien." She squeezed my hand again, her thoughts clearly racing, but the word itself meant nothing to her; just a strange, foreboding jumble of sounds. There was no weight to it, not yet. "If the thing inside you is one of these Primevals… Myoordrakien… then who is the entity? They’re not the same thing? How can he keep something like that under control?"

Her questions lingered in the air like a fog, dense and chilling. I took a deep breath, struggling to find the right way to explain it. “That’s… a little more complicated,” I admitted, my voice faltering.

Autumn didn’t waver. She was steady, though I could see the fear slowly creeping into her features. "It's going to be okay, Sam," she urged, her voice soft but determined. "Who is he?"

I looked down at the floor, my mind swirling with the truth I had to tell. There was no more hiding it, no more dancing around what I had become. "There’s a reason he can trade lives like he did for Eleanor. A reason he’s the one maintaining the balance in this world. He can’t touch this world physically, so he needs someone here. Someone in the world of the living… me." I could feel the words sinking into her, deeper with every sentence. "He chose me. He made me, putting a piece of his bound Primeval inside my soul."

Autumn’s face hardened with concentration as she tried to piece it all together. She wasn’t speaking, but I could see her thoughts working in overdrive, trying to understand the impossible truth I was hinting at. I realized then that I couldn’t sugarcoat it any longer.

"He takes lives to keep the scales balanced… the balance between life and death. Because he is…" I trailed off, giving her one last chance to figure it out herself.

“Is what?” she asked, her voice trembling now.

I drew in a slow, deep breath, preparing for the inevitable. Then I let it out, the truth spilling from me like an unforgiving shadow. "He’s Death, Autumn. Death… and I’m his monster."

For a moment, the room felt colder, like the very air had thickened with the weight of my confession. I could feel it then… Autumn’s hand pulled away from mine, ever so slightly. Her eyes were wide with fear. It was written all over her face… the chilling horror, the uncertainty. Death had always touched her world at different times… but now it was present in a way she couldn’t escape. Death had a physical presence in the living world. It was sitting right beside her, wearing the face of someone she cared for.

“It’s a lot… I know,” I said, my voice quiet but thick with the weight of what I had revealed. Autumn didn’t respond, her hand trembling as she pulled it completely away from me, as if the very touch of my skin had become something foreign, something dangerous. The truth hung between us, heavy and oppressive, and I could see it; how the fear gripped her, how it consumed her thoughts. Death itself… was a heavy burden.

Her eyes were wide, pupils dilated as the realization set in, and the more she processed it, the more her body recoiled, her breathing coming in shallow gasps. She backed away from me, her feet moving without conscious thought, instinct kicking in. The empty glass on the counter caught the edge of her elbow, and it fell, shattering against the floor, splintering into jagged shards that scattered near our feet. Autumn barely seemed to notice, stumbling past the broken pieces in her bare feet as if her mind had only one objective… distance. Distance from me.

But it wasn’t fear that I would harm her. I could see it in her eyes, she was wrestling with her reaction, trying to understand why her body moved as though it were facing death itself; in a way, it was. It was a fight or flight response, pure and primal. Her mind was grasping for a way out, an escape from the entity she now understood was tethered to me. She wasn’t running from me… she was running from what I represented.

“It’s okay, I just…” Her voice wavered, her hand lifting apologetically as she stopped in the kitchen, her body still shaking. “I don’t know why I did that. I’m sorry, I still know it’s you,” she said, breathless, trying to steady herself. “I know you won’t hurt me…”

“I know,” I whispered, staying seated, not daring to get up. “He told me I had to discover it on my own. If someone told me what I was… what he was, my mind wouldn’t survive it. Maybe it’s similar for you. Maybe human thought can’t fully process something so…” I struggled for the right word.

“Inescapable,” Autumn finished for me, her voice barely above a whisper. She seemed to choke on the word like it was too much for her throat to handle.

“Yeah,” I agreed, watching as she leaned heavily against the counter, her arms braced against the cool black marble. Her breath came in ragged bursts, her chest rising and falling with the effort of calming her pounding heart. She kept looking from me to the floor, her gaze flicking between the reality she couldn’t accept and the floor beneath her, as though grounding herself in the cold tile might keep her from unraveling completely.

She rested her forehead on the counter, her body still trembling. The coldness of the stone must have been soothing against the heat of panic in her veins, trying to pull her back from the edge.

“Is this how you reacted when you found out?” she asked, her voice cracking as she stared down at the shattered pieces of glass at her feet.

“No.” I paused, thinking back. “For me, when I finally pieced it all together… it was like a veil had been lifted. Everything became clear, but that clarity… wasn’t comforting. Being… this, having this role, I think I’ve always felt it in some way, like a shadow in the back of my mind. Maybe that made it easier for me to accept. But it didn’t make it less terrifying.”

Autumn slowly lifted her head, her eyes clouded with disbelief. “It’s funny,” she said, shaking her head. “Everything makes so much sense now.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, curious what realizations had clicked into place for her.

“Mom… Mercy and Phineas… coming back from that place,” she muttered, half to herself. “All of it. Everything that didn’t add up before… it’s all so obvious now. Every question we ever had about you. I just… can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner.”

“Death is the last great unknown… I think it’s hard for our minds to go there for answers to anything in this world.” I stood up, moving slowly from the couch, careful not to make any sudden movements that might send her into another wave of panic. I approached cautiously, staying on the other side of the counter, giving her the space she needed. Her eyes tracked my shadow as it loomed over the floor, and when she finally looked up, the fear was still there, raw and tangible.

“I’ll leave tonight,” I said gently, backing away slightly to ease her tension. “I’ll give you time to process this. Take as long as you need. I’ll come back when you’re ready.” It was the only thing I could offer her, distance, space. Time to come to terms with the reality I had thrust upon her.

Autumn didn’t say anything. She just nodded, her whole body trembling as she stared down at the floor, trying to anchor herself in the aftermath of everything. I lingered for a moment, then turned toward the door.

“There’s more I need to talk to you about,” I murmured, the weight of it all pressing heavily against my chest. My thoughts turned to Peter and what he had done: how Patrick had gotten his hands on something of hers, how he seemed to know some dark secret that Peter shared. But for now, looking at her, hearing her voice, and feeling her presence… it grounded me, and quieted the storm inside. She was safe, standing here, whole and unharmed. The sight of the snow falling gently outside, the slow, steady transformation of the city; told me she had been safe for a while now, however long that had been. “But it can wait,” I added softly, my gaze never leaving her face. “I’ll get a new phone, and I’ll text you on it. So you can reach out… when you’re ready.”

She nodded slowly, her movements deliberate, like she was still struggling to catch her breath. “I will,” she said quietly, her voice carrying the weight of everything unsaid between us. There was a hesitance in her eyes, a deep, unspoken fear that flickered just below the surface.

As she stood, her movements were slow, and cautious, as though her body wasn’t entirely hers to command. She moved toward me, closing the space between us with painstaking slowness. When she leaned in to kiss me, her lips trembled, the touch gentle but hesitant. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to… no, the desire was there, buried beneath the layers of fear. Her body and mind were still reeling, still processing the reality of what I was, of what she had learned.

The kiss was tentative like she was forcing herself through the motions, her breath catching in her throat. The weight of the knowledge… the realization that I wasn’t just a man, but something far darker, something tied to Death itself; it hung over her like a specter. She had stood before me, next to me, and kissed me, all while knowing she was in the presence of Death… the Grim Reaper, the bringer of finality.

Her hands, cold and trembling, brushed against my cheek, but there was a distance in her eyes, something far off and unreachable. I could feel it, the instinct to pull away, to run, battling with the part of her that knew me, the part that loved me despite everything. I didn’t move, didn’t dare press her further. The moment hung between us, fragile and taut, like a string stretched to its limit.

Finally, she pulled back, her eyes clouded with uncertainty, her lips slightly parted as though she wanted to say something, but the words never came. Instead, she just stood there, her breath coming in shallow, uneven gasps, her body still trembling from the enormity of it all.

“I’ll be here when you’re ready,” I whispered, my voice soft but steady, as if trying to anchor her in this moment, trying to reassure her that no matter how terrifying the truth was, I wasn’t going anywhere.

She nodded again, her motions slow and deliberate, almost as if her body was on autopilot while her mind lagged behind, still grappling with everything I had revealed. Her eyes held a distant, vacant look, like she was seeing me, but also wasn’t… lost in thought, in fear, in disbelief. The weight of the truth had settled in, and the once-familiar connection between us felt strained, the thread now frayed by the knowledge of what I really was. I knew it wouldn’t last… she’d grow accustomed to it. It would just take time.

I didn’t press her. There was nothing more I could say, nothing that could ease the overwhelming burden of reality I had just dropped on her shoulders. Without another word, I turned, my movements slower than usual, each step feeling like I was trudging through the thick weight of everything unsaid between us. The soft thud of my boots against the hardwood floor echoed faintly through the cold, silent guest wing. Her figure remained still as I moved away, rooted to the spot, like a statue left in the wake of a devastating revelation.

I stepped into the dimly lit hallway, leaving her behind in that frozen moment, feeling the cool air of the empty house wrap around me like a cold embrace. It was strange, how silent everything was, the usual hum of life absent. The house felt abandoned, eerie, as though it too had recoiled from the weight of the truth. Her family, usually scattered throughout the place, was nowhere to be found, leaving the halls empty and haunting. Wherever they were, it was far from here.

I paced through the halls, my footsteps muffled by the plush carpet as I made my exit. The silence was heavy, pressing down like a weight on my chest, thick and suffocating as if the house itself was holding its breath. My thoughts raced, darting between the memory of her wide-eyed fear and the knowledge that there was no undoing what I had just revealed.

I reached the outer door and stepped outside into the biting cold. The snow was falling steadily, thick and soft, still blanketing the yard in a pristine layer of white. The air was cold, sharp against my skin, but beneath the catching image of the snow, I could feel it… the heaviness that lingered, thick with the gravity of what had just transpired inside. It was like the world itself could sense the shift, the dark truth now hanging in the air between Autumn and me.

As the door clicked shut behind me with a soft, final sound, the silence that followed was deafening. No wind stirred, no cars passed in the distance, only the soft patter of snowflakes falling to the ground… and for a moment, the world felt heavier, darker.

I stood there for a moment, my breath misting in the cold night air, watching the snowfall. The city was still, silent like it was waiting for something to break the tension. The shadows stretched long, creeping up the walls of the house, and I could feel the darkness within me stirring, ever-present, but quiet for now. But I knew… the revelation wasn’t over. Not yet. I had someone to see.