Chapter 178-4
[Part 4/4]
I tried to comfort her, affirming the days we had lived together. It was a heartfelt truth. I never thought the days with my sister, the memories, were bad at all. I could clearly say they were wonderful days. So, I didn't want my mother to deny that.
"Mother, it's not that you hate Shirona, right?"
"Well..."
My mother hesitated in response to my criticism. It was a struggle, a struggle with denying it.
"Honestly, if Shirona hadn't been there, we would have been eaten by that bear the other day. Just that alone makes it all worth it, don't you think?"
Then I said it jokingly. Jokingly, but it was the truth. My sister's bravery had indeed saved our family. That was an undeniable fact.
"...That's true. Yes, you're right. I'm sorry for being this kind of mother. Actually, it should be the other way around; I should be the one saying this to you."
Accepting my words, she chewed on them, nodded, and spoke. She apologized for showing her weakness. For trying to deny and reject her precious family. Reflecting on her own shame...
"It's okay, you don't have to apologize... Just be careful. Even if there's a talisman, I don't know how much we can trust it. If something happens, wake me up right away, okay?""Yeah. Got it... Good night."
"Yeah. Good night."
After making sure just in case, I head deeper into the cave. I arrive at the spot where my sister is lying down. I dress warmly and lie down on the empty mat, closing my eyes...
"...Brother?"
"...Did I wake you?"
I open my eyes at her call. I see the white fox girl peeking at me while lying down. She shakes her head to deny my words.
"I was awake."
"Well, that's not good. You should sleep properly."
She's a hungry kid who hasn't been outside much. At this rate, she'll be exhausted by tomorrow. She needs to eat and sleep to regain her strength.
"But! Brother and Mom weren't here, so..."
"Ah, that's..."
I understand Shirona's excuse. Ever since she was born, we always slept together. In that house, the 3 of us would lie in a row. That was how Shirona knew bedtime. This isn't home. It's not the 3 of us together. She must be anxious and unable to sleep. It's a sad story.
...That house is probably burned down by now.
"Brother."
As I think about the fate of the little house we lived in for so long and the belongings we couldn't take, Shirona calls out to me. She's moved a little closer, looking at me with concern.
"...What's wrong?"
"Can I sleep closer to you?"
It's a timid suggestion. When I gesture for her to come over, my sister's furrowed brow brightens up. And then... she dives right into my arms!?
"Wait, no! Ggh!?"
Before I can stop her, my sister crashes into my stomach. The force is strong enough to make me choke a little.
"...? What's wrong? Did something happen?"
"W-What's wrong!? Cough. G-Good night!"
My scream made mother, who was watching at the cave entrance, call out to me. I tried to brush it off and looked at my little sister, who was clinging to me while coughing a bit.
"Shirona."
"I-I'm sorry...!"
When I called her name and put some pressure on her, she shrank back, her fox ears drooping in panic as she apologized. She looked at me again with a worried expression. It was a scared look, as if she was afraid of being disliked. ...Damn it, don't look at me like that.
"It's cold, right? Here you go. Let's hug tightly, okay?"
Understanding my sister's intention, I hugged her back. We pressed our bodies together to keep warm. I patted her head. She buried her face in my chest and purred several times. She was being affectionate.
"Ehehe, big brother... it's warm."
"You're warm too."
With her metabolism, her body was warmer than an adult's. In a way, Shirona's body was like a hot water bottle. I hugged her to endure the cold winter air and to enjoy her warmth. When I hugged her, she hugged me back. We tried to touch each other as much as possible.
Some city folks might find it inappropriate, but in the cold villages of the Northern region, it wasn't unusual. Human warmth didn't need firewood or ventilation. It was the cheapest way to stay warm and avoid freezing to death. ...Though, Shirona rubbing her cheeks against me a bit too much was a bit excessive, but considering her circumstances since birth, I guess it couldn't be helped.
"Big brother..."
"What is it?"
After a while of silently sharing warmth, she suddenly spoke up. The fatigue from trekking through the snowy mountains hit me hard, and after eating dinner, I felt sleepy. I tried to keep my fading consciousness together and responded to my sister's voice.
"Are we not going home anymore...?"
"...Do you want to go home?"
"..."
My sister was silent. I now realize that my indirect way of saying things might have hurt Shirona's feelings. I also understand, too late, that answering a question with a question could have seemed unkind.
"...Yeah, I guess. Going back is probably impossible. That house is gone now. It doesn't exist anymore."
"..."
I confront her with the harsh reality. She can't return to that house, which used to be most of her world. I cruelly declare that it no longer exists.
Looking back, I feel like I might have said too much. I was probably too sleepy to think it through.
"I'm sorry. It was so sudden."
"Uh-uh. It's okay."
Shirona shakes her head at my apology. Then she hugs me tightly, maybe a bit too tightly.
"Because you and mom are here. I'm okay, right? We're all together, so it's comforting!"
She looks up at me with a faintly forced smile...
"It's scary, but if we're together as a family, it's not scary, right? Right? It's not lonely, right?"
"...Yeah. That's right. Leave it to big brother."
She asks me like she's clinging to hope, and I answer by holding her close to protect her.
"...!!"
Sister silently hugs me back, but happily. Her white tail brushes against my body gently. Yet, the strength in the arms of this girl clinging to me is not very childlike, reminding me that she is definitely something beyond human. To put it plainly, the child in my arms is indeed a monster.
(Still...)
Still. Even if she's not of human power. Even if she doesn't have a human body. Even if she has blood that isn't human.
"Big brother?"
"...It's early in the morning. Let's go to sleep, okay?"
While I keep petting her head, I let my consciousness drift away and fall into a light sleep.
Yes. No matter what form it takes. This little one is my precious little sister, my important family, so, so, so...
...
......
.........
The next day, we left the cave at sunrise. We walked all day, kept running away, and hid in a tree hollow we found before sunset. The next day, we started walking early in the morning again. We spent the night hidden in the thick bushes. By the afternoon of the next day... we spotted something on the other mountain along the steep mountain path. I saw shadows of people in the distance. A few figures moving as if following our footsteps from 2 days ago.
We would surely be caught up to in a few days. And our food would run out even sooner. There was no time left.
The time of disaster, the time of ruin, was already very close.
And the moment to make a decision was also...
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Onitsuki Hina: here