LIGHTNOVELONLINE Picking Stuff Up From the Side of the Road
I kick a can on the side of the road with my hands shoved deep into the pockets of my jacket, the hood pulled low to hide my face. The few people who manage to catch a glimpse of it are quick to rush past me, all too happy to let me be someone else’s problem. Sure, I could die to heal the cuts on my face and hand, but I want to be alone. And despite how stand-offish Receptionist likes to act, she does like to hold a conversation while I’m there.
I kick the can again, watching as it bounces off a sign advertising a sale on lotion. Maybe I’ll rob the store. The League doesn’t really do robberies, so it would be something different at least. I think Shiggy is running out of skin cream too… I stop in front of the window, staring into the store of beauty products, watching the people inside try the free samples. It’s been a couple days since the attack, a couple days since I walked out of the bar, and the response has been…. lackluster, to say the least.
Yes, there was outrage, but it didn’t last long. Measurable damage was essentially nil, due to Eraserhead choosing not to announce his injuries like Daylight heroes would. And since all the thugs were captured, UA has portrayed it as them defeating a group of low-level criminals who used a rare quirk to infiltrate the school.
And really, they aren’t exactly wrong in that assessment. All For One is the one with the massive organization, connections, and money. But despite helping Shigaraki establish the League of Villains, he’s made it clear that it’s Shigaraki’s, not his. So the League is technically a low-level group. If All Might had been there, and gotten injured, then we’d probably be promoted to mid-level at the least, or maybe even high-level!
I shake my head free from my musings, realizing that I’ve been staring into the store long enough for people to become unsettled. I move on before anyone can try to ask me to leave, deciding that I’m not really in the mood for random crimes just for the sake of crimes. Instead I continue doing what I’ve been doing. Walking around to clear my head.
`~`
I sigh, having given the slip to yet another hero summoned by ‘a concerned passerby’. “Maybe I’ll just kill the next one who shows up?” It’s going on day three of trying to clear my head, and I’ve been studiously ignoring the questions blowing up my phone of where I am, what I’m doing, and when I’m coming back. I’m not ready, so I won’t come back.
Thankfully Himiko knows me and has left things with a simple ‘Be careful, I’ll be waiting’. She knows me, she understands me. I need time, and that’s what she’s giving me. Oh, but she did let me know that we’ve finally gotten a secure computer so I can safely call my cousin. It’s been a long time since I’ve talked with Melissa, I wonder how she’s doing?
And what her quirk could be.
I know she won’t join the League since, unlike Toshinori, Uncle David actually cares about her. I was really grateful whenever he tried to talk to the Yagi adults about how they paid more attention to Izumi on the trips to see him. It didn’t do much good, but I still appreciated that he cared enough to try.
“Maybe I should just head back,” I mutter to myself. “It’s not like I’m making any progress working through my feelings on my own anyways.” The issue isn’t that Himiko got taken in by Izumi’s act. Well, not really. It’s more…
I heave another sigh as I scratch furiously at my head. I don’t know why I’m so upset. Is it really just because some old feelings got drudged up? But that doesn’t sound right… Or maybe it’s too right?
Some of my memories are painful, more than the others. When Toshinori ditched me is one, the first time one of my analysis books got completely destroyed by those two is another. I quickly got used to that though and made sure that they were replaced with ones that could stand up to the abuse, but the first time still sticks out to me. But… those aren’t the worst.
Certain memories… I don’t actually remember.
There are memories that abruptly cut off and then restart. I’d suspect those were the results of a quirk, if I wasn’t fully aware of what they actually are. The human mind is a resilient thing, but when pushed past its limits it does what it can to ensure both it and the body can function. If that includes suppressing memories, then that’s what it will do.
Heck, if Himiko wasn’t with me back then, the same thing might have happened when Inko dismissed me! But then again, everything has its limit, and there’s an even chance that the same event would have sent me on the path of villainy anyways.
I think the reason her words upset me so much has to do with one of those suppressed memories. I equally suspect that one of them is the reason I can’t bring myself to outright hate Izumi. Her actions? I absolutely hate them! She deserves to suffer for what she did to me! But hating her?
I… just can’t.
It doesn’t mean that I’m feeling any guilt about the USJ though! Like I told Himiko, people care more about actions than the individual, so my actions towards her are perfectly in line with her actions towards me! So no, I don’t feel guilty about them.
But…
“I know liars. I know masks. When she was yelling at me, she wasn’t either.”
She’s absolutely right. She knows when someone isn’t being their true self around her. I didn’t ask since we respect each other too much to try and force our pasts out. But she did offer up that ‘like-knows-like’ before, which, when I consider her quirk’s requirement and that she’s insane, is more than enough to give me a decent picture.
So…what if one of my suppressed memories means that I don’t have the full picture? Or what if all of them are keeping me in the dark? I just can’t say for sure, and that’s what has me angry.
It’s not like I can just choose to remember them! They were suppressed for a reason!
I turn into a random alley as I try to work this new angle to the problem, silently hoping that someone will attack me so I can push it out of my mind. I don’t remember everything. So I might not have the whole picture. But that doesn’t mean what I do remember should be trivialized.
But does that mean there’s a reason? Something that justifies how they abused me? I frown and shake my head, immediately murdering the thought. No, I have no problem hating any of the others. All Might crushed the pillar that I was clinging to. Inko had to have intentionally neglected me given she let everyone think that I was dead. Bakugou is… himself. Honestly he’s just a terrible person all around, his abuse wasn’t even relegated to only me. There’s at least three people who transferred schools to get away from him. Being a horrible person is just who he is, so him being himself is enough for me to legitimize my hate for him.
So what is it? It can’t just be that I don’t fully believe in what I’m doing, right? Or is it that I’m just not certain about Izumi’s character? That part of me wants to believe that she’s not as bad as the others?
“Fuck, I’m not getting punished just because-”
I absentmindedly stick a knife in the throat of the guy who was trying to grab something lying on the ground, letting it drop to the ground as he does the same, falling to his knees with wide eyes while ineffectually grabbing at his throat in an effort to stem the flow of blood. While he’s failing in his attempts to not die, I pick up what he was aiming for and tuck it under my arm, walking away with a slight bounce in my step.
Sure, my trip away from the League didn’t really help me come to terms about anything, but at least now I have something to show for it. I’ll just tie up my feelings and shove them in a box before throwing them back into the abyss. My knots are really good too since Himi went through that bondage phase a couple months ago!
`~`
I walk through the doorway of the bar after giving it a strong kick, sending whoever it is that was trying to leave slamming to the floor inside. I make sure to wipe my feet off on the new indoor doormat since they’re covered in filth before taking a seat at the bar and putting my prize on the counter next to me. I give a little wave to Shigaraki who’s staring at me before giving Kurogiri my order.
“I’ll have a bottle of Coke, please. Hey, do you guys know where Himi is?”
Kurogiri alternates his stare between me and my prize for a few seconds before sighing and pulling out his phone. After sending off a text he puts my drink in front of me and a juice box next to me. “She shall arrive shortly. Would you like to explain now, or when she gets here?”
“Hmm.” I hum before shrugging. “Might as well wait. Better to explain once and get everything out of the way.”
It doesn’t take long for Himi to burst into the bar, giving the doormat a firm kick before using it as a springboard to launch herself at me. “Izu! You’re back!”
I smile as we wrap our arms around each other, and I just bask in the warm feeling that fills me. It’s only with great reluctance that I let her pull back as she examines my prize before turning back to me with a raised eyebrow. “Sooo… You were busy?”
I laugh, picking them up to show off. “Yep! I mean, when I saw them I couldn’t not grab them. Unicorns are rare, and they’re just horses with a single horn.”
I carefully put the little girl with long silver hair on one shoulder, being careful of the dirty shift she’s wearing. Bandages are wrapped around her arms and poking out of the poor excuse for clothing, and on one side of her forehead protrudes a short horn. “And since there’s no mythologies about a person with a single horn, then they must be even rarer! Unless she’s half oni, but that would still make her at least as rare since there’s only one confirmed unicorn out in Iceland.”
“...Did you seriously kidnap some brat on a whim?” Shigaraki asks in a deadpan tone, and I mock gasp.
“How dare you! It’s only kidnapping if they live in a positive environment! Or at least a neutral one. If they were in a negative environment then it’s a rescue!”
“Was it a negative environment?” Kurogiri questions.
I look up at the girl as she looks down at me, her confused crimson orbs so different from the ones I grew up with, filled with pain and fear instead of hatred and rage. But there's a familiar gleam buried within, one I became oh so familiar with growing up and seeing it in the mirror everyday.
Hope.
“Honey, did the people you were with hurt you? It’s ok to tell us, I promise that we won’t hurt you at all. And we’ll make sure they never get the chance to hurt you again either.”
She must see something in my eyes, because after another moment of staring she breaks down, sobs wracking her small frame as she buries her face into my hair. I feel a small vibration that I’m pretty sure is Himi patting her on the back.
“There, there, kid. Welcome to our weird and justifiably unhinged family. I have a feeling you’re going to fit right in.”
She gives the girl a wide, gentle smile, mildly at odds with her prominent fangs. “Welcome, to the League of Villains.”
