MHA: A Cat’s Way

(Mirko)

I grin as I head to the location sent to my phone. Obviously, being a hero, I keep my work phone separate from my personal phone. Not that I ever really use my personal phone for anything other than trying to find the hottest new fight circuit.

Well, I guess part of that is work, given that the HPSC wants me to keep an eye out for anyone with a powerful quirk and an inclination to make sure the public knows it. Sure, I can’t arrest them until they actually do anything, but I can definitely put them into a full-body cast for a few months to delay them. It’s a pain when dealing with the fighting circuits the HPSC secretly endorses, but I can’t complain too much given how many good fights I can get out of it~!

Or at least, that should be the case. After finally finding and making my way through the Underground Masquerade, I’d kicked my way to the top of the brackets and managed to qualify to fight their top fighters. Remembering the condition I’d left most of those ‘top fighters’ in, I scoff. Really, they’re all just a bunch of small fries. I didn’t even get to use any of my disguise’s special moves!

Yesterday I finally got sick of all the weaklings I’ve been fighting and confronted the organizers. Apparently, their two best fighters have been ‘unavailable’ for at least a month! Number two told them that it was for ‘personal reasons’, and their number one got recruited by some organization or something that requires a full time commitment. I very nearly put the organizer through the floor for not telling me any of that before.

I actually did put him through the floor when he told me that until one of the two get back, I’m basically a placeholder for their champion which is why I’ve been fighting so many small fry! I AM NO PLACEHOLDER!!!

I breathe deeply, letting it out slowly as I pause on a rooftop. After confirming that I’m almost to where the location for the SOS originated from, I set off again, putting more force into my jumps.

Anyways, normally the Underground Masquerade would have given the title of ‘champion’ to their third-place holder, but apparently they’re the type who only occasionally shows up. They’re too free to be tied down like that, which I can respect. Live life like there’s no tomorrow so that when your time’s up, you can check out with no regrets! That’s my motto!

Still though, even if I am annoyed by the fact that I haven’t gotten any good fights from there, the information about their champion getting recruited was very welcome by the HPSC. They hate the fact that the Masquerade won’t give out any of their Big Three’s information, so anytime they slip up they always get excited. Honestly it’s kind of nasty. Though once they calmed down they started panicking about such a strong fighter getting recruited. Figuring out where he went is someone else’s job though, not mine.

My job is to kick the shit out of people, which is why this SOS has my fighting spirit fired up. Oh, sure, requests for help are common, but those are usually minor things, something along the lines of: ‘my quirk doesn’t work well against this villain’. Bunch of pansies… If your quirk doesn’t work, then just beat them down the old fashioned way! But an SOS is different though…those are where things get exciting!

Part of a hero's duties are being a stabilizing force for the public, so having a serious call for help is heavily discouraged. Which means when someone sends out an SOS…

A savage smile stretches across my face as I land in front of the large metal doors leading into a warehouse. “It means,” I crouch to put more power in my legs before launching myself forward with one leg extended. “I’m going to get a great fight!” With a thud, my foot hits the doors, and they fly open, hitting the walls.

I land, all my senses focused to their limit as I scan the dimly lit building to find my opponent. I have one hand on the ground as a stabilizer, and the other held out for balance. My legs are tense, ready to launch me away from an attack coming from any direction. I’m ready to deal with anything as the outside light reveals what’s inside the building.

Or so I thought.

`~`

(Catia)

I blink at the rabbit that just kicked down the door to my relaxation room. She blinks back at me. I look down from my crouched position on the tower to the mechanical bird I was about to pounce on, now lying unmoving and in pieces on the ground where the door smacked it.

I pout at the rascally rabbit. “Mew broke it! How am I supposed to hunt it if it’s broke!?”

“Uuuhhh.” I don’t get any real reply from her, making my pout deepen.

“Nya!” Deciding that I’m not going to talk to her, I turn around and hop into the hammock my servants had prepared for me before they left. Laying my head on my arms as I curl up, I still keep an ear out for the rabbit in case she tries to approach me.

And it seems like that was the right call since I hear her heavy footsteps approaching me, though they also sound hesitant, as if she’s not sure of where she’s putting her feet.

“Hey! Cat! I came here expecting a strong villain to fight! So where are they!?” The annoyance is clear in her voice, but her words are nonsense. Still though, she seems entertaining enough given how my previous fun was interrupted.

Turning around, I hang one of my front paws off of the hammock while looking down at her scowling face. “Villain? There’s nyo villain here. My servants purrpared this place for me to relax.”

Still scowling, she looks around as if hoping to find this supposed ‘villain’. “Then what about the SOS!? Only heroes are able to send and receive the signal for those!”

My tail sways side-to-side and I stare upwards as I think. “Oh! Power Loader must have gone overboard on the trac-cats.”

Her eyes shoot back towards me, her body tense once again. “Power Loader?”

I nod, rolling over so my top half is hanging off the hammock. “Meow~, that’s right! I nya’d for him to put trac-cats in my hero suit. Guess he thought they were panic yowls instead of simple loca- whoops.”

Stretching in the middle of my explanation, I slip off the hammock. I hear shouting coming from below me, probably the rabbit being surprised. Nya, whatever.

As I fall headfirst, I grab onto the second hammock angled below the first and swing towards the tower. Using the force of my swing, I flip myself and land on my behind on the slide that wraps around it, landing softly and throwing my hands in the air. “Nyaaaa~!” I yowl out happily as I speed down, landing in the pile of pillows at the bottom.

Poking my head out, I giggle at the face the rabbit is making. “Nya-ha-ha. Close yuur mouth~, you’re gonna attract bugs, nya.” I climb out of the pile, stumbling a bit in her direction once I’m free.

My words get her to close her mouth and she looks away. Boo! I want funny faces!

She coughs while avoiding looking at me, causing me to cross my arms and pout a bit. How rude!

“Where the hell are your clothes!?” I tilt my head while looking down at myself in confusion. I look back up at her still not understanding the question.

“Nya? Why would I be wearing clothes? This is my relaxation room. Of course I’m going to be as relaxed as purrssible! And wearing clothes aren’t nearly as comfurtable as not wearing clothes.” I nod my head repeatedly with my hands on my hips. Full-proof logic!

For some reason though, she puts her head in her hands. Maybe she has a headache? Ooh~, I have something for that! “If mew have a headache, relight the sticks over there! They’re purr~fect fur getting rid of them!”

“Did you just purr at me!?” Shaking her head, she nonetheless moves in the direction I pointed while grumbling to herself. Even if they end up not helping her, she can still light them up for me~.

But instead of lighting them she just picks up the piece of paper that was next to them! Ruudde! “Heeeyy~, light the sticksss, nya.”

She ignores me, focusing intently on the letter. Ignoring me as I slump over a table and smack it with my hands, she instead opens the box laying on the floor by her feet and pulls out my hero costume along with one of the trac-cats that’s been separated. Unlike with the inactive ones, this one has a dimly glowing blue light the same shade as one of my cats.

She finally looks back at me, but her face seems kind of tired? “Look, I’m gonna need you to get dressed so I can make a report to the police. So-”

“Nyyyooo!” I let myself slide off the table and onto the floor while groaning out my rejection of her idea. “I wannya stay in my relaxation room~! You cat make me leave!”

I hear her sigh from my place under the table, adamant that I’ll stay here to relax. Hero school is stressful! I have to talk to people, do homework, suppress my urge to hunt All Might. And! I don’t even have an opportunity to sneak out to underground fights! My fight energy levels have been maxed out for, like, a month! There’s nothing she can say that will get me out of here! Nyathing!

“What if we swing by an all-you-can-eat place? That has a focus on meat dishes?”

“...”

“Nyo-k.”

And so, I leave my relaxation room with the rabbit temptress at her offer of meat. Oh, after putting on my hero suit of course. Relaxing state of undress is for the relaxation room only~.