Maybe a Fake Gintama

One day, in Yoshiwara.

"Kawaki, let's go to the pool!" Seita burst into Kawaki's room, running excitedly towards him.

"You're so noisy, brat." Kawaki, lying on the floor with one hand supporting his head, eating watermelon, and watching TV, replied without looking back, "Pool? What's so good about that place?"

"Mom asked you to teach me swimming!" Seita lied shamelessly.

"Swimming? Didn't I teach you last time?" Kawaki's mouth was like a machine gun, spitting out watermelon seeds into the trash can beside him, then impatiently waved his hand, "Besides, isn't it dojo practice every day in the summer? Stop bothering me, go away."

"Going to the dojo every day is too pathetic!" Seita pouted, "And today, Amai-nee and Shin-nee are not at the dojo! It's boring to be there alone! Besides, there's no air conditioning there anymore! We'll get heatstroke! Amai-nee and Shin-nee said we could rest at home during the hottest days!"

"Seita," Kawaki sat up, his face serious, "Some things, even if they seem inconvenient, cannot be given up. Once you get used to avoiding difficulties, your life is over. When you encounter a problem, do you want to be the person who runs away instead of facing it head-on? Are you really okay with that?"

"I..." Seita suddenly hesitated, weakly asking, "Can't I rest for just one day?"

"Seita, to be honest, I'm disappointed." Kawaki shook his head, sighed, and continued, "Not only me but also your mother and Tsukumo. Everyone who watches over you is actually..."

"I got it!" Seita shouted with his eyes closed, "I'll go to the dojo right now! I won't disappoint Mom!"

Watching Seita run out of the door wiping his tears, Kawaki breathed a sigh of relief, then stood up, "Ah~ doing a good deed every day, doing a good deed every day. Today's child education ends here; it's time for games."

At this moment, Tsukuyo, holding two buckets of lubricant, pushed open Kawaki's door and walked in, asking, "Where's Seita? Rikku asked us to teach him swimming today."

"He said even during this hot summer, he doesn't want to give up dojo practice. He asked me to greet you guys on his behalf and said he won't go to the pool." Kawaki waved his hand casually, then made a somewhat emotional expression, "He's grown up, Seita."

"Seita... he's grown up..." Tsukuyo, sitting in a wheelchair that had arrived at some point, said with some relief.

"Children are like this. They suddenly become mature." Kawaki said with a touch of emotion.

"Then, these preparations won't be needed." Tsukuyo looked at the lubricant in her hand and muttered.

"They weren't needed in the first place..." Kawaki muttered silently, "What kind of pool do you want to go to with those things? It's too early to go to that kind of pool!"

"Pool!" Suddenly, the voice of a lady from the Hyakka echoed, "Kawaki-sama said he would take us to the pool!"

"Really?! Can we go?!"

"Yay! I'm so happy! Kawaki-sama is finally ready to play that kind of game with us!"

Seeing the excited faces of the Hyakka ladies who suddenly appeared in the room, Kawaki replied expressionlessly, "No, I didn't say that, nor did I intend to play the kind of thing that wouldn't happen in an ordinary pool with you. By the way, why does everyone have two buckets of lubricant? What kind of pool do you want to go to?"

"As long as it's a pool Kawaki-sama likes, it's fine!" The Hyakka ladies said in unison.

"I don't like pools!" Kawaki shouted angrily, veins bulging on his forehead.

"Then should we just stay indoors?" one of the Hyakka ladies raised her hand and asked.

"Yes, that's right..." As he finished speaking, Kawaki suddenly realized, "Wait a minute! What kind of terrible question is that?!"

"Kawaki-sama, don't you like outdoor activities?" Another Hyakka lady exclaimed, covering her mouth in shock.

"Hey, have you said enough?" Kawaki sneered.

"Kawaki-sama, for today, I bought a new swimsuit!"

"I did, too! I bought the best swimsuit in the store!"

"And me..."

"Although I didn't buy a swimsuit, my underwear was chosen according to Kawaki-sama's taste."

"Hey! Hold on a second!" Kawaki raised his hand to stop them, "What do you mean my taste? Stop saying such terrible things, okay? And how do you know what type I like?"

"The owner of the underwear shop said that men like this..." A Hyakka member quietly pulled down the corner of her clothes, giving Kawaki a seductive look.

"Well, um," Kawaki nodded earnestly, "Eighty points..."

Just as he finished speaking, he was knocked out by a wooden folding chair held by Kawaki, who had veins popping out on his forehead.

"What the hell are you guys doing?!" Kawaki, with veins on his forehead, shouted while spitting out saliva, "Didn't I tell you not to come and watch and not to panic the guests?! Why would you make the guests panic?!"

"Kawaki-san," Kawaki rubbed his head, turned around, and explained earnestly, "The so-called pool is just a step away from death. The pain when water gets into your nose, the green snot that sticks to your shoulder you don't know when forgetting to take away the dirty underwear that everyone mocks you for, only when you know these horrors of the pool can you have the right to play by the water's edge."

"But you don't need to know the horror of turning your whole body purple!" Kawaki retorted, then showed an almost pleading expression and continued somewhat frantic, "Seriously, this is a job I finally found; please take it seriously."

With that, Kawaki placed his hands on his hips and said earnestly, "Our duty as lifeguards is to protect the children who come here to make summer memories and ensure they return home safely with those memories. Do you understand?!"

"Yes, sir!" With that, Shinpachi and Kagura jumped into the pool.

"You two don't need to make memories!" Kawaki exclaimed in despair, then pointed at Shinpachi with an unhappy face, "Glasses! You! Have you not been properly mocking people lately? Work seriously! You bastard!"

On a reclining chair behind Kawaki, Kawaki, wearing sunglasses, crossed his legs and rested his hands behind his head, looking indifferent. "Don't worry, their job is to ensure everyone's safety in the water, while I ensure everyone's safety in their dreams."

"You just want to sleep, don't you, stupid Karprio!" Kawaki turned around angrily.

...

Dragged upstairs by Kawaki with no enthusiasm, Kawaki made a sound like a can of dead fish: "Hey, spare me. I've had enough of these brats whose bodies are like Kenta Miyake's heads. I came here to watch the buxom Priss-Prin girls with elastic bodies."

"Indeed, because it's summer vacation, only little brats come." Kawaki, standing above, looked through his binoculars but suddenly noticed something, "Huh? No, there are still some and a lot of them..."

"Whoa!" Kawaki exclaimed, "Really, there are a lot! And they're all gathered together! They're all buxom Priss-Prin girls with elastic bodies!"

Just as he finished speaking, Kawaki suddenly noticed something, put down his binoculars, and replied to Kawaki with a blank expression, "My bad, it's the Sisters' Army."

Just as he finished speaking, Kawaki collapsed with his eyes rolling back.

At the same time, Kawaki's voice came, "Oh, what a coincidence, Kawaki."

Seeing Kawaki slowly approaching, surrounded by a group of Hyakka ladies wearing various swimsuits and still covering their faces, Kawaki asked, "Are you taking your family out for a swim?"

"Which eye did you see that with?" Kawaki retorted expressionlessly, then pointed behind him at Tsukuyo, who was holding her hands and smoking a cigarette, sneered, "They were all forced to come by these guys. I have no interest in pools full of kids."