Chapter 38: After Boys Enter Puberty, They Wake Up [Standing] Every Morning!
Shimura family…
"The thirty-fifth round, the loincloth masked asshole arrest battle~" After Gintoki finished speaking, the audience cheered and applauded.
At this time, a group of people was standing in front of Gintoki. There were the Shimura siblings, Kagura, Kawaki, and Shinsengumi.
"Thirty-five what the hell..." Shinpachi stood in the noisy crowd and curled his lips.
"Shinpachi, don't worry. For that bastard's life, this is the last time." Kawaki patted Shinpachi on the shoulder and said, but he was interrupted by Shinpachi before he could say anything.
"I'm not complaining about this at all!"
"Don't worry, I will be very measured, I just want to invite that bastard to cross the bridge and drink a bowl of soup to sleep comfortably." Kawaki patted his chest and promised, "Maybe he can start his second life, just like the divorced old woman who has a second spring. A lamb that saves when lost. When I think of this, I can't help but be moved."
Shinpachi was powerless to complain.
"Ah, I didn't expect Kawaki-san to have the same thought." Otae narrowed her eyes and smiled.
"Next, I would like to invite the chief intern, Kondo Isao, to speak..." After saying that, Gintoki handed the microphone to Kondo, who had just come on stage.
"We, Shinsengumi, exist to protect the peace of the city. The so-called peace is that people can live in peace and work in peace. Only the happiness of each individual can make up the peace of the entire city!" As Kondo spoke, his eyes unconsciously glanced at Otae, who was chatting and laughing with Kawaki. He immediately blushed and said, "So, Protecting Shinpachi-kun's sister's underwear is also our mission!"
"Ah, our Chief is really the best in the world to find such a superficial excuse," Sogo said.
"Hey!" Kondo was anxious and immediately wanted to refute.
"I say, why is even Shinsengumi here?" Shinpachi asked hopelessly. At the same time, he looked at Kawaki and Otae, who was blazing with unusual aura. Although they were talking and laughing, "These two have already begun to make the whole incident develop in a fraction of a second, and together with the Shinsengumi..."
"Revenge, right, Hijikata?" After Sogo finished speaking, Shinpachi turned around to look for Hijikata, who was originally sitting on the floor behind the crowd.
However, it was only then that he realized that Hijikata, who was originally sitting on the ground, had joined the discussion between Kawaki and Otae at some point in time. The same smile was all over his face, but his body was also burning with an unusual aura.
"Ah, this plan is really good. I can't help but be excited when I think of sending a bastard who made a big mistake to start a new life." Toshiro said with a refreshing look on his face.
"I really didn't expect that one day I would have the same thoughts as Shinsengumi's vice-captain. It's really surprising." Kawaki replied with the same refreshing look on his face.
"Three incredible people have formed an incredible united front." Shinpachi said with a black face, but then he reacted, "Hijikata-san? Could it be that even Hijikata-san received it..."
Before he finished speaking, he was interrupted by Sogo, "Really, there really is a fool who gave a small panty to our Hijikata-san." After saying that, he took out a white small panty from his bosom.
Hijikata, who was talking with Kawaki and Otae, instantly drew his sword. After the sound of the blade cutting through the air rang out a few times, the small panty in Sogo's hands had already shattered into pieces.
"Beautiful sword technique!" Kawaki was the first to clap.
"Then, can that bastard's lower body be handled by me?" Toshiro put away the sword and turned his head again to reveal a smile.
"Hey, didn't we agree to chop it up and throw it into the sea to feed the sharks? You are too cunning, Hijikata." Kawaki complained.
"Hey, is it really okay? This situation" Shinpachi said with a face full of black lines.
…
"Heartbeat! Women's piles of loincloth masks arrest the big battle~" Gintoki stood in front of the stage once again and said.
Everyone applauded and cheered once again.
"What is the pile of women?" Shinpachi once again stood in the noisy crowd and retorted.
"Then, then let's put on a new stance," After Gintoki finished speaking, everyone quieted down. Then, Gintoki continued, "This time, with Miss Shimura Tae's full support, we will choose the method of using bait to fight."
"Bait?" Just as Shinpachi voiced his doubts, he saw Otae standing on the stage and reaching out to take out a sexy panty.
"I'll offer my lucky panties. It'll knock you out like Mickey Rourke's Cat Punch."
Just as Otae finished speaking, Kondo, who was below the stage, wailed, "Cat Punch" Then he instantly had a nosebleed and fell to the ground.
PS: Mickey Locke is an American actor who traveled to Japan for boxing. He is called cats punch for his ugly boxing technique that scratches people when he gets close; PS2: The pronunciation of punches is similar to that of panties)
"Hold on! That's too hardcore! Normal boys can't handle it. They'll run their ass off..." Gintoki said from the side.
"Hmm..." Otae thought for a moment and took out a pink panty with a cat pattern on it, "Then... How about this? Packs the same punch that knocked Akebono down."
(Akebono: Akebono Tarō is an American-born Japanese former professional sumo wrestler who became a boxer after repeated defeats, often fell face down like a dead man in the competition. If you are interested in Japanese sumo, you can read [Hinomaru Sumo], it's okay, it's very bloody, although the ending is a bit rushed.)
At this time, Kondo, who had just gotten up, took another blow and fell to the ground while blood flowing all over the ground…
"No! No! No! That's way too crazy..." Gintoki said again.
Shinpachi, who was in the audience, finally could not help but frown and said, "Guys... Think a bit more about the brother who has to see his sister's panties over and over again, will ya? It's worse than watching a love scene on TV with your whole family."
"And that's how a boy climbs up the ladder to adulthood-aru." Kagura held her hands and nodded.
"Don't make such a simple summary over there!"
"Well, calm down, Shinpachi-kun," Kawaki advised. At the same time, he quietly stuffed a few experience coupons with pictures on them into Shinpachi's arms. He whispered into Shinpachi's ear, "I didn't give any of these. This is the real step to becoming an adult. No matter when, if you need it, use it!"
After saying that, Kawaki stood up again and looked forward. However, he secretly gave Shinpachi a thumbs up.
"It's too early! He can't stand such stimulation at his age! Let me take care of it!" Gintoki walked down the stage and said to himself. He took out the coupon in Shinpachi's arm and put it in his arm.
"What are you doing! Gintoki, what do you mean by taking away the ladder from a young man to an adult!" Kawaki was immediately unhappy.
"Hey, I didn't say anything from the beginning to the end, okay?" Shinpachi said, his head full of black lines.
"It's too early! Before you learn how to walk, you have to learn how to stand up!" Gintoki said righteously.
"What do you know! When boys wake up in the morning after entering puberty, they are always [standing]!" Kawaki retorted.
The two of them started fighting again…
"Enough!" Shinpachi finally couldn't take it anymore.
However, at this time, Otae held her long sword and slashed horizontally. Everyone fell to the ground to dodge.
"This lady is betting on my panty and my life! You bunch of idiots. If you have the time to be long-winded, why don't you hurry up and catch the thief!"
"Yes!" ×n
"Big Sis is so cool-aru!"
…
"Listen! That guy pays more attention to the quality of girls than the number of panties! His nature is a pervert! So he will definitely sneak in here again, while we will wait for an opportunity to attack." Gintoki was still standing in front of everyone. But the difference just now is that now everyone is standing outside, with the panties hanging on the hanger above Gintoki's head.
"This kind that tramples over a girl's innocence and a man's pride is absolutely unforgivable! All pumped up and ready to kick some ass, we'll bring him down with a single blow! We'll stain his white briefs red with his own blood!" After Gintoki finished speaking, everyone responded by raising the thing in their hands together.
…
"This is?" Kawaki looked at the large package that Sogo was carrying on his back, puzzled.
"I was wondering if I would encounter similar things, so I brought these from the castle's warehouse," Sogo said as he put down the big package. Kawaki squatted down curiously to see Sogo open the package.
"What are these?" Shinpachi also came over and squatted down to ask.
"How should I put it... It's similar to a landmine..." Sogo explained.
However, just as he finished speaking, Kawaki had already walked away digging holes, setting mines, and burying them.
"What do you mean by similar? This is simply a landmine!" Shinpachi shouted.
"It's not easy to secretly take it out. It's very strictly supervised over there." Sogo acted as if he had not heard anything and continued to talk to himself.
"Snakes have snake paths, rats have rat paths," Toshiro said from the side.
"You say it so casually!" Shinpachi shouted.
"As long as the courtyard is filled with mines, this simple and crude house can become an invincible and sturdy stronghold." Sogo stretched out a finger and said.
"Just let it continue to be simple and crude!" Shinpachi complained, "Moreover, you're breaking the law! It's basically law-enforcement officers breaking the law..."
"External is external, internal is internal." Sogo stood up and explained.
"Let's ignore your weird theory for now," Shinpachi pointed at the package on the ground, "That's a weapon! Do you think this is a battlefield?!"
"No!" Toshiro said while holding his hands, The official name is [Something like a land mine]."
"Nonsense!"
Shinpachi had just opened his mouth when he was interrupted by Otae's voice.
"Shin-chan, as you said, this is already the battlefield! If you think it's just a joke, then go home!" Otae walked over and said righteously.
"Sister," Shinpachi pointed to the ground, "This is my home."
"You say your home is the battlefield? Good boy!" Toshiro praised.