Marvel: The Death Surgeon

Law had already felt Thor moving towards him angrily.

'Huh, It's going to be a fanboy moment for me. Thor was my favourite superhero besides well Ironman and Batman. I always believed him to be the strongest but he does not feel that much. What a let down.' Law thought as he saw Thor in his vision.

Thor's face was a thundercloud of rage as he charged towards Law, Mjolnir crackling with electricity. "You dare spread lies about my brother, mortal?" he bellowed, his voice shaking the very foundations of Asgard. "I shall teach you the folly of trifling with the God of Thunder!"

Law, for his part, looked about as concerned as someone choosing between chocolate and vanilla ice cream. He casually tossed a asgardian Pop-Tart into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully as the enraged Asgardian bore down on him.

"You know," Law mused, brushing pastry crumbs from his shirt, "I always wondered if Thor was more of a strawberry or blueberry Pop-Tart guy. Guess we'll never know now."

Just as Thor was about to bring Mjolnir down on Law's head, the Death Surgeon side-stepped with inhuman speed, leaving Thor to smash a sizable crater in the ornate Asgardian floor.

"Ooh, seven out of ten for dramatic effect," Law critiqued, "but minus several million for good floor tiles. I don't think even Asgardian home insurance covers 'act of angry god'."

Thor roared in frustration, spinning to face Law and trying to hit him again but with Law's immense speed and observation Haki, he was bound to miss.

"Stand still and face me like a warrior!" Thor roared

Law grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "But where's the fun in that? Besides, I'm more of a lover than a fighter. Ask your brother – oh wait, not your brother. My bad!"

This taunt only served to further enrage Thor, who began swinging Mjolnir in wide, destructive arcs. Pillars crumbled, tapestries were shredded, and several unfortunate potted plants met their untimely demise.

Meanwhile, Wanda and Pietro watched from the sidelines, a mix of awe and horror on their faces.

"Should we... help?" Pietro asked, wincing as Thor accidentally electrocuted a statue of Bor.

Wanda shook her head. "And get between a Norse god and master? I like my limbs where they are, thanks. Besides, Thor is the one who needs help right now."

As Thor continued his rampage, Law danced around him with impossible grace, always just out of reach. He even took the time to strike poses mid-dodge, as if auditioning for "Asgard's Next Top Model."

"You know, big guy," Law called out, pirouetting away from another lightning blast, "I'm starting to think you're not really angry about the whole Loki thing. Is this because I said your cape makes you look fat? Because I stand by that statement."

Thor, panting heavily, glared at Law. "Your silver tongue will not save you, trickster! Face me and end this charade!"

Law sighed dramatically. "Fine, fine. If you insist on this macho display of testosterone and pop-tart-envy, who am I to deny you?"

With a flourish, Law created a glowing blue sphere around them – his "ROOM." Thor looked around in confusion, momentarily distracted from his rage.

"What sorcery is this?" he demanded.

Law cracked his knuckles, a wicked grin spreading across his face. "Oh, just a little trick I picked up. Now, let's see how the God of Thunder handles a little... rearranging."

"You know," Law commented casually as he separated Thor's head from his body (don't worry, he's fine), "I always wondered if Asgardians were anatomically correct under all that armor. Guess that answers that question!"

Thor's disembodied head spluttered in outrage as his body flailed around blindly. "What is this sorcery! What have you done to my body! Return me to my proper form at once, you madman!"

"Madman? Please," Law scoffed, reattaching Thor's head backwards. "I prefer 'creatively sane.' It looks better on business cards."

From the sidelines, Loki watched in stunned silence. He had seen his brother bested in combat before, but never so... thoroughly. And with such style. It was like watching a master artist at work, if the art in question was "creatively dismantling Norse gods."

"I must admit," Loki murmured to himself, "I'm almost impressed. What is that power even?"

Loki had almost jumped in joy when he saw his brother's head separated from his body. But when he saw that his oaf brother could still talk, his joy died and there was even a hint of relief.

As the one-sided battle continued, Law's attacks became increasingly creative and bizarre. At one point, Thor found his arms replaced with legs and Mjolnir transformed into a rubber chicken (okay, that last one was just an illusion, but Thor's face was priceless).

"Come on, Thunderpants," Law taunted, "I've seen frost giants with better moves. And they're not exactly known for their dance skills. Well, to be fair the only frost giant that I have met is your brother so muhh"

Thor who got his head back to his body and even his limbs in the right places was now reassembled but looking worse for wear, struggled to his feet. His armor was dented and his cape was singed.

"How..." he panted, leaning heavily on Mjolnir, "how are you doing this? No mortal should have such power."

Law winked. "Who said anything about being mortal? I'll have you know I moisturize regularly."

With a final, almost lazy flick of his finger, Law sent Thor flying across the room, crashing into a pile of conveniently placed cushions (because even when beating up gods, safety first).

He does not want to kill Thor. He still had to make four solo movie appearances and a couple Avengers movie appearances.

As the dust settled, Law surveyed his handiwork with satisfaction. "Well, that was a nice warm-up. Who's up for round two? Anyone? No takers?"

Thor groaned from his cushiony landing spot, raising a weak hand. "I yield, strange one. Your power... it is beyond anything I have encountered."

It pained Thor to yield but even he could see the man was playing with him just like Odin did with him when he was younger. But he knew the mortal wanted no harm to him or Asgardsince he was still alive.

Law sauntered over, offering Thor a hand up. "Aw, don't feel bad, big guy. I'm sure you'll do better next time. Maybe after a few millennia of training and a strict diet of protein shakes and Pop-Tarts."

As Thor accepted the help, still dazed from the beating, Law's eyes fell on Mjolnir. A mischievous glint appeared in his eye.

"Say," he mused, "I've always wondered about this fancy hammer of yours. Mind if I take a crack at it?"

Before Thor could protest, Law grabbed Mjolnir's handle and attempted to lift it. To everyone's surprise (except maybe Law's), the hammer didn't budge.

"Huh," Law grunted, straining against the immovable object. "Guess I'm not quite worthy yet. Or maybe it's just really good at playing hard to get."

He released the hammer, a thoughtful expression on his face. 'Well, that's interesting. Looks like even at 50% of my template power, I can't match Hela's raw strength. Good to know for future reference. I won't be able to break it with my bare hands even with Armanent haki like Hela. I need to reach the second stage of Armanent haki before I could do the same.'

Thor though was elated to at least have a small win against the mortal.

'I will have to get you a new shine Mjolnir. You have saved some of my dignity.' Thor thought

"Well, would you look at the time," Law exclaimed, glancing at an imaginary watch. "I'd love to stay and chat, maybe grab some coffee and swap embarrassing stories, but I think that's our cue to leave. It was a wonderful day and please thank Odin for his hospitality."

He turned to Wanda and Pietro, who were still staring in disbelief at the scene before them. "Come on, kiddos! Time to go back to training."

With a dramatic flourish, Law opened a swirling portal. "It's been real, it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun. Catch you on the flip side, Asgardians!"

And with that, Law, Wanda, and Pietro vanished, leaving behind a thoroughly battered God of Thunder, a crying God of Mischief, and the distinct impression that Asgard would never quite be the same again.

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