Marvel: I Have A Super USB Drive

It was a hot summer night in Queens when a man dressed in an advanced tech suit smoothly landed atop his warehouse. Slowly, the section of the roof he was standing on began caving in under his weight. As the roof opened under a set mechanism, Joe successfully entered his dark base of operations.

 

"Daddy's home. Minerva, I can't see a damn thing," Joe said casually as the helmet surrounding his face de-materialized followed by the rest of the armor. The most ridiculous thing of all was what Joe wore inside the PK armor: a pair of light brown khaki shorts and a white polo shirt. What he was only missing was a cap to complete his sophisticated golf millionaire cosplay. Surrounded by state-of-the-art research equipment, Joe certainly looked like a misplaced oddity. 

Humming an original nameless tune, Joe seemed to be in high spirits as he promptly put on a pair of sterile gloves. Subsequently, he took out the vials of specimen from the hidden storage compartments inside the suit's armguard. 

"Someone's in a good mood. What's the occasion? Maybe share it with me." Minerva piped in as her holographic image formed beside Joe. 

"I'm about to research and venture into a domain that might give me a superpower. How can I not be cheerful about it? It doesn't matter if it's failure or success awaiting me. What matters is...is that I tried something insane and put in the effort to change my biological status," Joe gave Minerva a side glance before smiling. "But since I have you and this upgrade..." Joe pointed at his temple. 

"Failure may as well be considered vanquished. Isn't that right, Minerva?" 

Minerva scoffed at Joe's overconfidence. "Don't be too sure of yourself. The universe is listening and it might get pissed at your surety." 

"I know, I know, chill. I understand the negative consequences that I might face very well. So I plan on fucking with the universe this time. Positivity is part of her nature. Isn't it better if we ride on her coattails?" Joe softly chuckled as he put on a white lab coat. 

"I understand what you're getting at, but... Joe, let us be thorough and extra careful this time round. The last time you injected yourself with something dangerous, it... it made me extremely worried," Minerva heavily advised, her algorithmic eyes filled with unusual concern that was quite rare from artificial intelligence. 

"Fret not, my girlie. I trust that you won't let anything bad happen to me, eh?" A tight-lipped smile spread on Joe's lips as he 'patted' Minerva's holographic hair. It was a meaningless action, but, the thought behind it was what mattered most. 

"Of course, I promise with my life and honor on the line," Minerva replied in a stiff voice, her right hand placed on her left breast. She looked like a loyal soldier recruit, which earned a chuckle from Joe. 

"Oh please. Stop being a drama queen and let's get straight to work." Joe shook his head as he placed some of the corked vials into the refrigerator. He regulated the temperature to negative twenty degrees Celsius before closing it. 

"Minerva, get the music rolling." Joe dramatically snapped his fingers as he placed the tissue samples and viscous marrow into a homogenizer with his other hand. 

"♪She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene♪

"♪I said don't mind...♪" 

Joe began processing the samples, his body subtly moving to the beat of the song. The homogenate would be ready in about five minutes, and with his multitasking talent, he could manage a sing-along.

"♪Billie Jane is not my lover♪" 

From the side, Minerva thoughtfully watched Joe, a helpless expression on her face. Joe might as well be the only one in the world who can't be serious in the lab. But she liked seeing him dancing and singing nonetheless without making a mistake in his movements. He was too smooth. He made it look so...easy. 

'In the meantime, let me see how much I've profited from the automated stock trading. I'll surprise him later on.' Minerva thought as she algorithmically deduced the current trends in the market.

A few moments later, Joe began centrifuging the homogenates while... moonwalking. While Joe was vibing, he was suddenly interrupted by the ringtone from his watch. A frown momentarily formed on his face at being disrupted. When the holographic image of the caller formed, his face slightly relaxed.

'It's been long, mate.' 

"Receive," Joe issued a verbal command. He wondered what the 'kid' had to say. 

"Hello. Where you at, man?" Peter's voice sounded from the speaker. 

"Bro, I thought you died somewhere. You've been deathly silent for a very long time," Joe lightly joked. 

"Right back at you. I'm supposed to be the worried one in that regard. I thought you'd decided to give up on life after surviving that attack." 

"So...so what's going on? Are you by chance waiting on me at my place?" 

"H-How did you know?" 

"It's just a guess since you asked for my location and I happened not to be at home." 

"Oh, man. Was I too obvious?" Peter's tone suddenly dimmed, the initial vibrancy dwindling. 

Joe caught onto the sudden shift in his tone and just knew something must have happened to Peter. Not the good kind. 

"A-Are you free? Haven't seen you for quite some time and—" 

"Bro, just get the point and I'll listen." 

There was some silence on the other side, probably Peter having a difficult time on how to breach the issue. 

"MJ broke up with me. And... I got fired from my part-time Pizza delivery job." 

"Pete, wow, that's brutal. It looks like the universe's conspiring against you," Joe said, his voice softening. He actually felt pity for the guy. Peter was at his vulnerable moment so the least Joe could do was check up on him. 

"Give me a few minutes to come home," Joe assured him before cutting off the call. 

"Minerva, it seems I'll have to postpone our research a little bit. There's a kid out there that needs my guidance. Keep a tight surveillance over the place." Joe removed his lab coat, took his bike keys, and strolled out of the warehouse. 

***

A few minutes later, Joe parked his Harley and entered his apartment building. When he stepped out of the elevator, he saw a figure sulking beside his door. Peter had his head hanging low. His eyes were unfocused and seemingly lost. His hair was unkempt, making him look even rougher. 

'He's far off into an unknown man's land.' 

"Yo, man. Can you stop showing me such a long face?" Joe called out as he sat beside him. 

"Hey, Joe," Peter slowly raised his face and weakly greeted him. He then swiftly observed his friend and noticed that he somehow looked... different. No, not the face. His face was the usual disgustingly handsome one, but his commanding aura was the one thing that Peter noticed. 

'What has Joe been up to? He looks more jacked than the last time I saw him.' Peter thought in passing, his shoulders slumping even more. 

"So, you gonna tell me everything?" Joe genuinely asked. 

"It's nothing much. MJ left my sorry ass for another. And... And she just had to do it after I got fired from Luigi's Pizzeria," Peter explained in a shaky voice. 

"Found out she's been lying to me for five months now. She... She said that I'm not cut out for relationships and that she found someone better. Someone who will pour her all of their attention and, sadly, money." 

"How can MJ cheat.on.me? I showed her that my love was genuine. I attended some of her acting gigs. I bought her flowers. Even if I wasn't always there... I-I did everything right. What did I do wrong?" 

"Why's my life falling apart? Why did my first relationship end with me being cheated for... nothing? I don't deserve any of this." 

"What am I lacking?" 

Joe listened attentively, allowing Peter to vent all he wanted. 

A few minutes later, Peter exhaled heavily after letting it all out—all that suppressed emotions. 

Joe furrowed his brows, sensing that if he didn't guide Peter well, he might embrace the dark side. The first heartbreak always hurts the most, and Joe wasn't new to it. In his previous life, he had his first heartbreak from his homeroom teacher back in middle school. It was a past romantic venture that he wouldn't want to disclose.

"Hey, bud, you know, I've been curious about something. How is it that your spidey sense didn't sense the red flags all along?" Joe inquired as he put a hand on Pete's shoulder. 

One second, two seconds, three seconds... Peter took three full seconds to process Joe's astonishing words. Peter immediately straightened up and squarely glanced at Joe, his eyes widening in apprehension and confusion. 

"You—" Peter pretended to be unaffected for a moment. However, seeing Joe's arched brows and unconvinced smile, he knew he had been had. 

"So... Spider-Man also has some bad days, huh?" Joe shook Peter's shoulder for a second before removing his hand. 

Peter blinked, a self-deprecating smile gradually forming on his face. 'If it's him... I can trust him with that secret. Sigh, how did it come to this?' 

'I forgot I have such smart friends that could easily crack my secret identity as Spider-Man?' 

"Don't forget Spider-Man is also human, but the sad fact is... Peter Parker's the only one who always gets hurt." Peter released a weak chuckle, his voice wavering. 

"Talking about red flags. My spidey sense doesn't have an edge over human relationships. I suck hard at it." 

Joe chuckled along. 

"It's life, bro. You know what? You didn't need that bitch. You need you first to be happy, Pete. You dodged a bullet before things got deep." 

"Oh gosh, I was madly in love with her." 

"It'll take time, but, you will eventually get over her. I don't know for how long though. But kings always heal, right?"

Peter shook his head, a hesitant but genuine smile on his face. "I think I feel better right now. Thanks, man." 

There was a temporary silence between the two as they both reveled in the aftermath of their conversation before Joe broke it. 

"When was the last time you took a bath, bro?" 

Peter hastily sniffed his armpits before recoiling in embarrassment. "I-I am sorry about that. You see—" 

"I don't see. You smell like shit. Get inside and use my bathroom." 

"Man..."

***

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[Word Count 1775]