Maniac’s Mayhem: A guide to being a corporate slave

Leagues Above, the dating show aimed at finding a date for samurai, has been cancelled due to the Samurai in question choosing to date all of the contestants. Producer asked for drama and the Samurai defenestrated them. New Producer agreed not to try to stir up any drama with Samurai

— The Failed Ventures series by the Purple Truth

 

“Evelin.” Cierra says groggily, when she picks up.

“Hey, how are you?” I ask her. A smile creeps onto my face.

“Tired, it’s like twelve. I am already in bed,” she says, still with her sleepy tone.

“Sorry, I did not realise that you would be asleep already. Sorry for bothering you.” I say, as heat rises to my cheeks.

“It's fine,” I hear her move around on the bed through the line. “Why did you call? Something wrong?”

“No, nothing is wrong; we just had not talked in a while, so I kind of missed the sound of your voice,” I say as, my face grows even hotter.

I hear a choking sound on the other side of the line. “I… I… miss your voice too.”

My smile gets even brighter. “So, what are you doing?”

“I was sleeping after a long day of dealing with shareholders and investors.”

“I am sorry. If I knew you were sleeping, I would not have called.”

“Evelin, I love you, so you can call me whenever. I don’t mind.” She says with a little giggle in her voice.

“I love you too.”

There is a long moment of silence before Cierra speaks again. “What did you just say?”

I feel my cheeks flush even more. “That I love you too.” I say carefully.

“What do you mean by that?” Cierra asks excitedly.

“I don’t know. I failed biology, but I think my brain just makes the happy chemicals while I am talking to you.”

I hear Cierra chuckle on the call. “I was not really asking you how love works; I was more wondering what that means for us?”

“I don’t know. I want us to be good.” I say, struggling to find the right words.

“Good is still a bit cryptic. Should I give some suggestions, and you tell me if those are good?”

“That could work, but that would make me feel bad.” I say, as I awkwardly shuffle in the digital office chair.

“Well, you can go first if you want. I don’t mind.”

“Right, okay. Fuck, this is not easy.” I say, as I start nervously fidgeting with things. “And I feel like this should really be a conversation that we should have in person.”

“Evelin, it is fine; it would be cute to see you stumble in person. If you are more comfortable like this, it is also fine, as long as you get the point across, and I don’t really like waiting; I'd rather hear it now, in a call, than have to wait until you get back.”

“I see. Well, okay, uhm, I want us to be together but a bit different than before.” I say.

“Evelin, what is happening? I am happy you want to get back together, but you are being cryptic about it. You're acting like that one actor in that new samurai movie when they are trying to ask for an open relationship.”

“Uhm, well…”

“Wait, are you actually?” she says, her voice sounding strangely excited. And then starts laughing.

“Kind of, not really, maybe?” I say, really unsure what to do.

“You serious? Well, that, huh...” She goes quiet after that.

“You okay?” I ask after a while of silence.

“Not sure. I mean, I want you back, but you going and sleeping around, without me knowing with who, is kind of a strange idea.”

“That is fair. What if you knew the person? Would that help?” I ask.

I hear a choked laugh on the other side. “So, you going to send me a picture every time you score? I don’t think that would make me happy.” She says, her voice taking a sad undertone in the end.

“I am sorry. I guess I am just stupid.” I say, massaging my forehead. “There is just, this girl, and I really like her, and I really like you, so I guess I just thought this would kind of work out.”

“Wait, another girl? Like one, singular?”

“Yes.” I say, a bit confused.

“Fuck, Evelin, I thought you planned to sleep around a lot.” She releases a big sigh. “So you only want to be with one other person?”

“I don’t know at the moment. I only intend to go out with the two of you, but I am unsure how that would change in the future.”

“I see. I guess I can agree if we make some arrangement; why did you not say it like that, though?”

“Because words are hard, and I want things to be fair, so if I had multiple girlfriends, I think you should have that too, if you want.” I say, trying to explain.

“Isn’t that kind of the logical conclusion to think?”

“I guess. Can I ask what arrangements?” I say hesitantly.

“Well, you know, cycles on when you are with who. I want you on the weekend, excluding circumstances.”

“Circumstances?”

“Well, like birthdays and such, I think Sam would like it if you celebrated that together.”

“Sam? What does she have to do with any of this?”

“Wait, you are not going out with Sam? I thought it would be her, for sure , since she has been giggling this whole time, while messaging someone.”

“Really! Fuck, why did she not tell me any of this?” I say, getting both excited and disappointed at the same time. “You better find out who she is seeing. I need to know.”

“I will try my best, then.” Cierra says with a chuckle, “But who is the other person then? Someone I know?”

“You definitely know of them, but not sure if you ever met her.”

“Evelin, you’re being cryptic again.”

“I think it would be better for her to introduce herself. I can add her to the call if you want.”

“You know what? That would probably help put things in order faster, but might be a bit awkward.”

“So, no?” I hedge.

“Just add her, please.”

“Okay, give me a second. I will call her.” I say as I silence the call, while at the same time calling Bubbles in a different one.

“Evelin, you know what time it is?” I hear Bubbles complain through the call.

“Uhm, uh, twelve thirteen?”

“Okay, what is wrong? You sound nervous?” she says with concern in her voice.

“Well, I thought I had a good idea. Now that I am executing it, I somehow feel like I made a mistake.”

“Okay, and what was your idea?”

“Well, I was talking with Cierra, and she wanted to know who I was going out with, so I was thinking of adding you to the call.”

“It was going to happen at some point. With it being a call, we at least can’t throw stuff at each other. Anything I should know before I go in?”

“Please don’t talk about Purple. I will tell her. I just think it would put unnecessary pressure on her now, so later is better. And you were going to throw stuff?”

“No, of course not, just saying stuff. Let's just start the call.” She says somehow… excited?

I unmute Cierra’s call and add Bubbles to it. “Okay, that should do it.”

“It's nice to meet you. I am Cierra,” Cierra says.

“It’s nice to meet you, too. Evelin told me a lot about you as well. My name is Claire.” Claire says.

“I think I heard your voice before. Do I know you from somewhere?” Cierra asks.

“I don’t know, maybe; wait, let me turn on my camera.” Claire turns on her camera. She is wearing a cute little blue pyjama with little doggies on it. “This is me.”

I suddenly hear Cierra breathing more rapidly. “Ooh my gosh, ooh my gosh, please tell me you and Evelin are not trolling me with a deepfake or something.”

“What do you mean?” Claire says with a confused look on her face.

“Like, you are Liquid Catalyst, right? Like the real one, not one that is fake?” Cierra says excitedly.

“Yes, I am the real one. Does Evelin show you fake samurai sometimes?” Claire asks, putting up a disappointed glare, which I think is for me.

“No, I just can’t believe this! Evelin! You should have said something!” Cierra says, panic in her voice.

“I mean, that is why we are here, right?” I say with a smile on my face.

“I.. I.. just don’t understand how this even happened. How did you meet?” Cierra asks, still somewhat panicking.

“You remember the incursion I was in? The one in Brussels?” I say. “So, she kind of saved my ass back then, and we have stayed in contact ever since.”

“I see. Well, it is good that you got back out alive.” Cierra says, her voice a lot calmer now.

“So am I going to be the only one with my camera on, or are the two of you going to turn them on as well?”

“Ah, sorry.” Cierra says; she turns on her camera, revealing her sitting in the bed of some fancy hotel with, let's say, some very suggestive nightwear. Her face coloured scarlet with a blush.

“Yep, I am very gay.” Claire says, making me choke on air, before I burst out laughing.

Once I have collected myself, I try to explain my current predicament. “So there is a small issue with me turning on my camera.”

“Is it because your hair is pink?” Claire asks without skipping a beat.

“Pink? Her hair is pink now?” Cierra asks, confused.

“No, it's not about that; how did you even know about that?” I ask, a bit confused. “I only had pink hair for, what, twelvish hours now?”

“Ooh, try showing me a picture.” Claire says with a bright smile, “It looked really cute.”

“Can I see?” Cierra asks, excitement in her eyes.

“Sure, I can send it to you,” Claire says.

I see Cierra's eyes dart around as she gets the image. “Evelin, why are you not wearing a shirt?”

“I don’t know; I was not even aware the picture had been taken. Anyway, I am currently in a car with other people who are sleeping, so I am using a virtual avatar for the call.” I say.

Claire just shrugs, “I mean, it will look real enough, and it is better than nothing, I guess.”

I create a virtual camera and turn it on. “Makes sense, so where should we start?”

“The basics should be good.” Claire says. “Like, I like you, and I'm pretty sure Cierra likes you and that you like both of us. But what about other people? Is there someone else we should know about?”

“No, I don’t think so. I am not interested in anyone else.” I say.

“What about you, Cierra? Have you got an eye on someone else?” Claire asks

Somehow, Cierra seems taken aback by that question. “I, uhm… I was not planning on pursuing anyone else, but…”

“But what?” Claire asks.

“Are your DM’s open?” Cierra says, a smile on her face, while she goes as red as a tomato.

“Uuh, yeah, well, sure, we can go on a date or something later.” Claire says, stumbling a bit.

“And what about you, Claire? Anyone else?” I ask, to add fuel to the fire.

“Well, uhm… Magenta, but not sure how successful that would be,” Claire says.

“She is hot. Must be hard to get close to her.” Cierra says while nodding along.

“Oh, you know what, sure.” I say. “Your date with her did not go well?”

“How do you know we went on a date?” Claire asks, looking at me, confused.

“I didn’t. It was more an educated guess; you seem very proactive, so it would have been strange if you hadn't gone on one already.” I say with a shrug.

“Wait, you are actually close with Magenta?” Cierra asks, sparkles in her eyes.

“Yeah, she is my best friend, and she manages my online image. We are also both part of PsyCo,” Clair explains.

“PsyCo?” Cierra asks, tilting her head

“Yeah, Maniac came up with it, and it stuck. That is what we are calling most of the samurai ventures in this area.”

“Ahh, right Maniac. She is… uh … a thing. Do I have to meet her?” Cierra asks.

“Not if you don’t want to.” Claire says. “Why? Are you scared of her?”

“She threw a man off a building. Of course, I am scared of her!”

“Well, she is not as bad when you get to know her.” I say. “Anyway, date, did it not go well?”

“I don’t think she ever realised that It was a date.” Claire says, a bit sad.

“That… you know what, I might have a solution for that. Maybe give me a bit of time to plan?” I ask.

Claire gives me a weird look. “You want to help me score with someone else?”

“Okay, so it sounds weird, but I want you to be happy, so if you want to get with her, I… we are willing to help,” I say, while looking at Cierra.

“Yeah, totally.” Cierra says as she nods furiously.

Suddenly, I hear another voice come through from Claire's call. “Claire, can you be quiet? We are trying to sleep.”

“Sorry, Mom, I was talking to my girlfriend.” Claire says while looking at someone out of sight.

“Oh, tell Evelin I said hello.” Claire's mom says. Afterwards I hear a door closing.

“Sorry about that. I really need to move out.” Claire says.

“It's fine,” Cierra says. “I am still living with my parents as well, but I bought some property that I am going to renovate so that I can move out soon.”

“That is fair. There are only a few weeks left before I finish high school, and I can go to uni. Will probably move out then.” Claire says.

“Well, if you need any help finding a place, I can probably find an apartment in a more private area,” Cierra says.

“Thank you. Are you not offering me the chance to move in with you?” Claire asks.

“I mean, you are more than welcome to move in.” Cierra says in a high pitch as her face goes red again. “I just wasn’t going to assume anything.”

“I guess we just have to see how our date goes.” Claire says with a smile on her face.

“Yeah, definitely.” Cierra manages to sputter out.

“Anyway, I will need to get off the call. Let's meet all in person soon, okay?” Claire says.

“Yeah, for sure. Good night.” Cierra says.

“Sleep well, love you.” I say.

“Love you too.” Claire says before she disconnects.

“Your girlfriend is cute.” Cierra suddenly says.

“Yeah, she is,” I say with a smile on my face. “also a lot more flirty.”

“She was not like that with you?” Cierra asks.

“Maybe. There was a lot of fighting going on, in a lot of cases, so it was kind of hard to pay attention.”

“I see. Well, I am happy she saved you.”

“So you are okay with all of this?” I ask, still a bit nervous.

“At the moment, everything is okay with me. Yeah, I still feel like we should discuss logistics more, but yeah, I am fine. How about you? I was kind of, you know, flirting with your girl.”

“Maybe I am dumb, but I see no problem with my hot girlfriends flirting with each other.” I say.

“Hot girlfriends?”

“I mean, you are hot, and so is Claire.”

Cierra makes some kind of whining noise. “Evelinnn you… you are hot, too.”

I smile at her. “Thank you!”