LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 2: Uncertainty
The rucksack seemed to have a false bottom. It was some enchantment that made it bigger than it ought to be. My legs could fully extend. My view was much higher from the back of Olaf’s shoulders. Some of the tension had dissipated. I felt like I could relax my joints a bit.
Olaf looked over his shoulder. “You good up there, miss?”
I nodded, but my cheeks flushed when I realized he couldn’t see me. In my old life I was an introvert, but now, it was taken to the extreme. There was no way to be sure if my body was affecting my mind. It didn’t quite feel like that. I felt that it was due to my unknown surroundings, but I couldn’t be certain.
Olaf still peered over his shoulder. “Hmm?”
“O-Oh, yes, I am fine.”
The corner of his mouth rose. “I am glad, miss. We will travel for a few hours before stopping for rest. Let me know if something is wrong.”
Once again, I nodded.
Fimbly grumbled. “I still think this is a terrible idea.”
A fire cackled in the dim landscape. Dusk had arrived, and the sun painted the sky with a vivid orange, reflecting on the clouds.
I was sat down on the grass and let out of the rucksack. It was more of a precautionary measure if carriages or people went by. Though, in the city I would need to hide in there and tuck my knees. If I bent down enough, I would enter the extra space at the bottom, making it hard for gate guards to find me. Even if they searched the bag, the only thing they would see is the false bottom.
Olaf sat next to me in the grass and polished his great sword. Now that I could see his face better, he had a sort of rugged handsomeness. His face was one that had seen many battles. There were two scars creating an X on his cheek, and below his ear there was a smaller scar. His arms had a few more lesions of battle, and his hands had the calluses of sword grip.
He didn’t smell as bad as I expected. When the wind carried his scent back to me, it was no doubt the scent of a man. However, he smelt good. It was a more earthy scent, and I could tell he at least bathed himself. That gave me hopes for baths in this world.
I turned my head away as he glanced in my direction. What the fuck am I doing? I should be asking questions, like where the hell am I!?
“I’m sorry for giving you a scare earlier,” he said.
I shook my head without turning to face him. As my heart pounded, there was a subtle wish of wanting to die, but I quickly shook that off. If I wished that in such a world, there was a chance it would actually happen.
Olaf released a deep sigh.
When I looked at him, he hung his head. I started feeling guilty that I couldn’t even muster the courage in this situation. A rumbling in my stomach brought even more heat to my cheeks and ears.
He laughed and nodded towards Fimbly on the other side of the bonfire. “It’s about that time, isn’t it?” Olaf handed me a canteen. “For now, drink this. Fimbly will prepare some soup.”
“This again? I told you to start prepping food on your own. What are you going to do when I fall into a grave?”
Olaf chuckled. “There’s nothing that would kill you, old man.”
The old man scoffed, but he acquiesced. Once again, he reached into a purple portal and began taking out cooking instruments and a pot.
I looked down at the canteen and took a sip of water. It was surprisingly cold and refreshing. Under all of the stress, I didn’t realize how much I needed water. I inadvertently let out a sigh of relief.
Olaf smiled at me. “That’s a better expression.”
With a few deep breaths, I gathered some nerve. “Why are you so nice to me?”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t know who I am, yet…”
“Yet?”
“...yet, you carried me. You gave me water, and now you are cooking for me. You are even willing to risk your safety by taking me into a city. Isn’t it strange?”
A grunt from Fimbly answered me. “Him? He is just like that. A fool, if you ask me.” The old man pushed a piping hot bowl of soup towards me but retracted it before I could grab it. “I am not as dumb as he is. How about an exchange? Soup for questions."
“Are you serious, old man?” Olaf asked. He looked ready to come to my defense.
I put my hand on his arm and shook my head. “It’s okay.”
No, it was more like this Olaf person was too trusting. Fimbly had been in the right. From their perspective, I should be a mysterious existence. I hadn’t even talked much from the beginning. The most I gave was my name, and still, the young warrior took me along with them. Not to mention, I was the only person they found at a carriage wreckage.
Fimbly looked satisfied. “Yes, so the first question. Where did you come from?”
The only thing I could do when meeting his scrutinizing gaze was speak honestly.
“I don’t know.” To me, those three words were the truth. From the white screen, I ended up in a forest, but where was I before that? How long had I been there? These questions I didn’t know the answers to. That’s even discounting that I had little idea where Sarah came from.
The old man nodded instead of pressing the question further. “Do you know what happened to that carriage?”
I shook my head.
“That’s enough questions, old man.”
Fimbly sighed. “This is why so many of you youngsters are dying these days. If I was the guild master, I’d have given you a proper whacking 500 times already.” He grumbled and looked back towards me. “Last question,” his eyes narrowed sharply, “are you a member of the Verusia family?”
Cold sweat formed on my brow, and my eyes widened. Was I going to have to run from the first people I met in this world?
“Hahahaha,” the old man bellowed a hearty laugh and handed me the soup. “You don’t have to look so serious. It’s not like you are hiding it.”
My cheeks heated up as I grabbed the soup. “Wh-what do you mean?”
Fimbly deadpanned. “Your hair and eyes. There is no mistaking it, but this makes it an even bigger problem…”
“Old man! You need to stop putting on airs. This is why all of those women at the orphanage don’t like you. And what’s the big deal about the Verusia family, anyway?”
Fimbly shrugged. “It’s just some elf politics. Nothing I care about.”
“You only care about your books and spells.”
“Aye, a book and a spell never lied to me.”
I couldn’t help but giggle. Their relationship was even better than it seemed on the surface.
The warm soup wafted into my nose, and I looked down. It was a hearty soup with mushrooms and potatoes. There was an unidentifiable dark meat inside. The tantalizing smell made me lift a spoonful to my mouth.
A beefy taste spread in my mouth from the broth. The potatoes were soft and easily chewable, and the mushrooms were cooked just right. The thing resembling beef had a more gamey taste—more reminiscent of buffalo. Overall, the soup would score high points, especially because I was starving.
Olaf looked at me between bites. “Even the way you eat is cute.”
I started coughing as a mushroom went straight down my esophagus. I felt his hand grip my shoulder. “Don’t touch me!”
He retracted his hand and looked at me worried. “I am sorry. I thought you were…”
I waved him off with my hands. My cheeks burned and I hid my face with my flailing hands. “Don’t worry about it!”
Olaf started to reach an arm towards me when a large staff bonked his head. He glared at the attacker. “What did you do that for!?”
“You’re a damn fool. Come, let’s set up the tents.” Fimbly grabbed him by the shoulder and wouldn’t let Olaf refuse.
Olaf grumbled, but he ultimately relented. They began to stake down two tents as I finished off the soup.
I sat there with an empty wooden bowl, wondering what was wrong with me. I still hadn’t asked any useful questions, and I let the situation take hold of me. I still didn’t even know the name of the country we were in or the direction to the elven kingdom.
It was a good place to start if I wanted to know why I was here. I flopped onto my back and pondered if I would even be able to make it on my own. Maybe I can ask the old man to teach me magic?
A few times already, I had tried to search for something like mana or even chakra in my body. Weren’t those things normal in these?
My class was mage, and I didn’t have an inkling about magic. It felt like a wasted class. If I had known I was going to end up in another world, I’d have picked a warrior class. At least, that would have been useful immediately. If I did that, would I have still chosen to live in a girl’s body?
The stars didn’t answer my questions. If I wanted answers, I would have to suck up this useless sense of pride. I’d have to swallow down the nerves and ask outright. There was only one worry. If I don’t know anything, wouldn’t that seem strange?
I frowned as more and more thoughts piled on top of each other.
Olaf’s face moved to cover my gaze of the sky. “That’s not a good face to be making.” He sat back down in the grass next to me. “The tents are prepared, but if you want to talk, I’m here.”
“I don’t even know where I should start,” I said honestly.
“Hmm, that is a problem.” His face still smiled. “Maybe it’ll help if I talk about myself?”
I jolted upright.
He chuckled. “Interested?”
Even though my face burned with embarrassment, I nodded.
He smiled as he began a short story. “I grew up in an orphanage in Ilyon. It’s a small kingdom just north of here. It was not an easy life. I was a little street beggar with tears and snot in my eyes. Pretty pathetic, huh?”
Olaf didn’t wait for an answer has he continued. “I was a brat who knew nothing about the world, and I couldn’t even repay the sister’s kindness. One day, a sniveling old man saw me on the street. He called me a pitiful little boy. He said that I would rot away in obscurity.”
There was only one suspect that came to mind. Naturally, a rotten old man only wanted to pick on children. I understood why Olaf said the orphanage women hate him, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
Olaf’s grin widened. “Yep, and it was all true. I really was pathetic. Even though that old geezer destroyed my pride, I chased after him. I became an adventurer. My goal was to become someone strong just to spite that old man.” He smiled wryly at me and scratched his head. “It’s a bit stupid, isn’t it?”
I looked into his dark eyes as my heart pounded. “No, I think it’s admirable. Does that mean you achieved your goal?”
He flexed his arm. “Well, what do you think?”
Instinctively, I reached out to grab it, but even both of my hands couldn’t fit all the way around his rough upper-arm to his tricep. I looked at his face, and he looked away awkwardly.
“I’m sorry,” I said, retracting my hand quickly. However, a strong arm gripped my wrist.
His eyes swam around in my own.
I was frozen. Ba-dump, ba-dump, my heart wouldn’t stop pounding in my chest. Butterflies danced wildly in my stomach. My face and ears were on fire. The once gentle breath flowing from my nose, exhaled through my mouth, even thicker than before.
Eventually, his hand let go of me and I fell back on my butt.
He extended his hand to me. “No, I am the one who should be sorry. Anyway, your tent is ready.”
I didn’t take the outstretched hand. I got up quickly and dusted off the grime from the back of my robes.
In a tent under the moonlight, I realized how stupid I am. I wanted to curse. Normal people wouldn’t have this happen. Surely, someone else would have tried to figure out something, anything. And those feelings also weren’t normal. What was that?
Throughout my life as a man, I had never felt that. When I gazed into that adventurer’s eyes, I wanted something to happen. My lips trembled with a desire as I stared at his.
I sighed. I knew I was tricking myself. I wasn’t so dense I couldn’t figure out this much. Though it was shameful, I lusted for him. Would he have made a move if Fimbly wasn’t there?
Pondering this brought that familiar heat to my core. I put my hand against my stomach. Does this make me gay? Is it only this body?
I groaned as my body became hotter. My hand remembered his manly arms. It felt good against my palm. It was textured with scars and a decent amount of body hair.
The need in my body was betraying my wish to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I could picture his broad shoulders and muscular back.
I became restless on top of my sleeping bag. My hands moved towards my groin, but I stopped at my midriff. If I started doing something there was no telling if I’d be able to stop.
My teeth clenched together. I need to bear it.
In a world of uncertainties, there was no telling what could happen. Maybe I’d get dumped off somewhere if they found me pleasuring myself?
That whole night, I tossed and turned without getting much sleep.