Lunar Shadows: Awaken

Selene

My mother and I sit on our porch sipping herbal tea as I think about something I want to ask her. The thought has bothered me since we came back inside after she sent Kyran home but I needed a moment to rehash things in my mind before speaking with her. I pull my feet up underneath me and turn sideways on the bench swing, my mother mirroring me.

“Why don’t you help them, against the vampires, if you created the werewolves? I’m still not entirely certain on the details of everything, but I can assume that the power of a goddess surpasses all others, correct?” I ask her quietly, raising my brow.

“You’re not wrong,” she chuckles briefly before sighing, “I can’t. My involvement in the affairs between races would be received as a direct attack on Nyx and trust me, nobody wants a war between goddesses. Especially her and myself,” she runs a hand down her face before scrunching her nose.

“She might not be able to, but I can,” Asteria’s sharp voice startles me as she steps up the porch stairs.

“Asteria—”

“No, mother. This is getting out of hand. Caedes has recruited witches to do his dirty work for him. Through scrying, I’ve uncovered the identity of who he’s been working with recently. It angers me deeply to learn it has been Hazel. I am unsure if Melody is involved but it’d be wise to suspect her as well. That bitch was the one who poisoned you at the club and hindered my magic. I believe she knows who you are now, truly knows. The only way she would have been able to discover your identity is through your blood, which is why that bastard ex of yours ripped your hair out. I fear it is because you’ve lived with us that raised suspicion and Caedes cannot attack you while you are here,” the anger in her voice cuts through the night air as she crosses her arms.

“Earlier this evening, the attack Kyran’s pack suffered was intended to find you there, not his sister. The hybrid wolf Vala had created an intelligent glamour for their females to use to alter their physical appearance and the blonde women are disguised in plain sight. There was a traitor communicating with Caedes from within Kyran’s pack, divulging sensitive information and I’m assuming his sister wasn’t wearing her glamour. She was believed to have been you, I was shown a man speaking over the phone about you being with Kyran and his sister was taken from their home by Caedes himself by mistake.

"Mother, I tried to follow Caedes astrally but after he ran from the fight, his signature vanished from earth. I think he has found another realm to hide in with the aid of the witches’ magic. He took Vala as well, though I am unsure if she is involved with him or not. Regardless, we’re facing a much larger issue than we originally thought,” Asteria wraps her arms around her middle and plops down onto a chair in front of us with a huff of frustration.

My lips part as I connect the dots, understanding how vulnerable I am now. I look at my sister’s frustrated face then over at our mother, seeing the tension lining her eyes and mouth. I need to awaken Luna, and soon. Thinking, I form an idea and rise to my feet, catching their attention.

“We should try to unlock my memories through Luna, now that she is present in my mind. I can pull her forward and maybe you both could channel her directly? I’m willing to do what is necessary to awaken her. I need to try, I can’t let Caedes succeed in capturing me without my ability to fight back. At the very least, getting my memories back could help me better mentally prepare myself with how to navigate things going forward,” I speak firmly, fighting against the anxiousness pooling in my belly.

Ria nods her head, glancing at our mother and I turn to see her also nod in agreement. A smile pulls my cheeks up just as a tight pang pulls at my chest and I press my hand over my heart, feeling concerned.

“We will need some time to prepare for a sleep dive, how about tomorrow evening? Selene, are you alright?” my mother’s quiet voice changes to worry as she stands beside me.

“I…yeah, I’m alright. I think I feel Kyran? Though it doesn’t feel good,” I mumble, rubbing my chest.

“Do you feel pain?” she asks me, grasping my shoulders.

“No, no. Not pain. It feels like I’m very angry, deep inside, with sorrow mixed in. I also feel despair,” I pull my brows together and look into my mother’s deep violet eyes. It’s so heavy and suffocating, I wonder sadly.

“Your bond with Kyran can share feelings as well as thoughts to one another, though the feelings are felt involuntarily whereas thoughts are intentionally sent. They call that the mindlink, but only mates can sense what the other is currently feeling. Emotions, as well as physical pain or pleasure, may be communicated through your bond with him as a way to speak without words with one another. It can become overwhelming to the recipient if pushed to the extreme, however. There is a way to disconnect the transmission, though it leaves both mates with an emptiness that can only be reversed once physically reunited. I have only known of this to happen in the circumstance of torture or imprisonment, in the hopes of saving their mate from suffering with them,” my mother explains informatively, giving my arm a pat before dropping her hands.

I blink my eyes slowly, astounded by the complexity of this new information. Before I respond, I hear Kyran’s faint whisper, Please forgive me, and a sharp pain radiates through my head. Wincing a little, I recognize the sensation as Luna’s presence and I take a slow breath, trying not to fight it. As I relax, the pain lessens to a dull pressure and I think to myself, We’ll get you out soon, starting tomorrow, and receive a pulse in my head in response.

I smile lightly at our improvement as Asteria rises to her feet and spreads her arms out before me. I meet her in a warm embrace, both of us squeezing tightly. She pulls back and smiles widely at me as she walks toward the door. “Get some rest, you’re gonna need it for tomorrow. I have a good feeling about this time,” she winks at me before pushing the door open and disappears inside.

My mother steps over the threshold behind Ria and pauses, glancing over at me. “Would you like more tea?” she asks quietly, holding the door open.

Shaking my head, I quietly reply, “No, thank you. I’ll sit here for a while, I’d like to think things over now that I have some more information.”

She nods her head and closes the door gently behind her, only to reappear in front of me with a thick, fuzzy blanket and holds it out for me with a small smile. I jump at her sudden presence, unsure if I’ll ever really get used to the ability she and my sister have. We both chuckle and I wrap the blanket around me as she leans down to kiss the top of my head.

“I will send the boys over to you, to keep you company,” she says before vanishing with a puff of wind.

In moments, I hear heavy thudding round the house and a sharp bark announces Phylax and Machitís’ arrival before they both bound up the steps and bodily shove the bench swing in their battle for attention. Laughing, I bend over and scruff their fur affectionately and get them settled by my feet before I sit down, tucking one leg under me and push lazily with my other. I spend the night listening to the crickets and tree frogs, wondering where Kyran might be and what had happened with his pack this evening. I think about what it means to have a mate bond, how Luna not being physically present affects it, and how it would feel when she is awakened.

I lean over and lie on my back, gazing at the stars. Glancing at the moon, I feel a slight pressure in my mind and smile with Luna, wondering what she looks like. My mind drifts to Kyran again, hoping he is okay and wanting to know what he meant by asking for my forgiveness. The darkness I’d felt earlier weighs on me and tears well in my eyes as I recall the anguish he suffers inside, recognizing it for what festers within me as well. He has only ever been kind and gentle with me, never once has he made me feel uncomfortable or afraid. So what could he possibly ask my forgiveness for? I wonder solemnly.

The twinkling of the night sky and the sway of the bench lull me as I think about him. Closing my eyes, I remember our day together and smile warmly through my unshed tears, wishing for another day like that again soon.

A menacing growl and a bump to my bench sends my eyes flying open as my dogs launch to their feet. Another deep rumbling rolls out from beside me and I bolt upright, placing my hands on each of their shoulders. The blanket pools in my lap as my heart races, a million scenarios flashing in my mind as I search the dark woods across the lawn. I feel the hackles raise on both dogs’ backs as their growling intensifies, causing my breathing to come shallowly. If I gave them the command, they would take after whatever it is that has alerted them without hesitation, but I don’t want to send them into the unknown or leave myself here vulnerable.

Rising slowly to my feet, I glance down to follow their line of sight. Peering into the tree line, I notice a shadow separate from the woods. My mouth goes dry as I imagine vampires running toward me and I’m about to scream before the low moon illuminates two amber eyes. A pent up breath whooshes out of my chest and I place a hand to my galloping heart in relief. I try to walk toward the stairs but both of my dogs press themselves against my legs, preventing me from moving forward. I brush my hands across their heads gently in reassurance and their growling fades away.

“It’s alright boys,” I murmur as I pet them and they relax beside me.

Giving them both a final pat, I step off the porch and notice the brightening light of dawn creeping through the sky. Glancing at the large wolf, I smile as I begin to cross the dewy grass toward him and stop a few feet from the porch, turning around to hastily run back and grab the blanket. Making my way back to Kyran, I hold out the blanket as I get close to him and wait for him to shift back into his human form.

He shifts his weight from one paw to the other but remains as his wolf, his glowing amber eyes holding my gaze. I reach out my hand and step toward him, running my fingers through the fur at his neck. Gasping, I immediately snatch my hand back as I feel slick wetness and stare down at my bloody fingers.

It is not my blood, I hear Valdr’s gravelly voice in my mind.

“What happened? Are you alright?” I ask quickly, dropping the blanket to the ground.

I am unharmed, is all he replies, staring intently at me.

Raising both hands, I stroke his face gently and he closes his eyes for a moment. When he opens them again, he licks my bloody hand and meets my gaze once more.

I must tell you something, Selene. Kyran has…receded. After the attack, he sought revenge on Caedes and we disrupted his influence by eliminating many of his powerful fighters. Kyran has blocked his mind and will not speak with me, I am unsure if he can even hear me or see what I see. I still feel him, but it’s as if he is far away and not here with me, Valdr explains with a tight voice.

I notice the way he sways, his discomfort evident and I stroke his cheek as I quietly ask, “Why would he do this? Valdr, what has happened? Is his sister alright?”

Kyrre is unharmed. We were betrayed by someone we kept close and others we were unaware of in our pack. I don’t feel emotions the same as Kyran does, things are much more plain for me. I view things as action and reaction without the trivial burden of emotional connection or reasoning behind it. Kyran’s past weighs heavily on him and he has been balancing on a precipice for a long while. Tonight has pushed him, mentally, back into a place he has fought hard to escape from, he growls lowly, pushing his nose into my hand.

My eyes fill with tears at his words, feeling empathetic as I can relate my own inner battle with what he describes. Sniffling, I lean forward and kiss his cold, wet nose lightly and he licks my cheek. I wipe my face with my forearm, not wanting to get anymore blood on me and take a step back.

“Would you like to stay here, with me?” I ask Valdr hopefully, thinking of Kyran and wishing he was here.

Yes, I came to you in hopes that you’d be able to bring him back. I also don’t want to leave you alone with the way things are, his voice rumbles in my mind comfortingly.

I give him a small smile and ask him to follow me. I turn around and make my way to the other side of the cottage and stretch across the front porch, grabbing my tote bin with the grooming supplies. Stepping back, I grin at Valdr and watch his eyes flick to the bin and back to me a couple times.

What is that? he asks warily.

I place the tote bin on the ground and walk over to the hose reel, clicking the head to the shower position and turn the spigot open. Glancing over at Valdr, I laugh as his ears flatten and he adamantly refuses in my mind.

No, no. Absolutely not, he growls lightly and I laugh again.

“It’s just water and some soap, it won’t kill you. You’re filthy, and I promise to be gentle,” I step in front of him and raise an eyebrow.

Valdr snorts out a sharp breath and glares at the hose before relenting, Fine, but be quick, and I swear he rolls his eyes.

Chuckling, I squeeze the handle and wet his neck, moving around him to rinse the bloody grime from his fur. I trail along his back and down his sides, working my way past his tail and round his body to his front again. I can’t help the guffaw that escapes me when I see the blatant antipathy emitting from Valdr. His ears are pinned back, eyes are squinted and nose is scrunched in pure discomfort of being sprayed by a hose.

“I need to wet your face,” I tell him, biting back another laugh.

He just stares at me and closes his eyes slowly, not changing his expression and I giggle. I lightly press the handle to drizzle the water over his head and I drop the hose to the ground. I grab the face wash and pump some soap into my hand, lathering it before gently rubbing it over his head, cheeks and muzzle. Picking up the hose, I rinse his face clean and bend to take the bottle of shampoo out of the bin. I walk over to his side and squeeze the bottle down his spine, making him shiver a little and I chuckle. Clicking the bottle closed, I toss it over to the bin and dig my hands into his fur, scratching my fingers through his thick coat. Valdr rumbles softly as I work and I can feel his body relaxing as I scrub him clean. A few spots had him shifting around and it was fun finding the areas he enjoyed most when his rumbling would intensify. After rinsing him down thoroughly, he shakes his body vigorously and completely soaks me in the process. I mockingly glare at him and laugh as he slightly lowers his bottom jaw in amusement.

Feeling devilish, I grin and let him know I’ll be right back. I quickly put away the hose and tote bin, cross the driveway toward a small storage shed and pull out the Shop-Vac I use when I need to dry the dogs. Lugging it back over to Valdr, he immediately growls at it and bares his teeth. I can’t help the giggles that bubble out of me as I plug it in and hold the long nozzle like a weapon.

This is not going to happen, he refuses, taking a step backward.

“It is, if you want to stay with me. I will not have a sodden wolf traipsing around my house,” I struggle to speak firmly as I bite my cheek.

Growling deeply, Valdr plops his rear on the ground and I drag the Shop-Vac over, hitting the switch with the nozzle. It whirs loudly but I can easily hear Valdr’s rumbling protest over the noise and I grin widely as I sweep the nozzle around his body.

This is beyond demeaning, he grumbles, stomping a paw to the ground in annoyance with a huff.

I laugh loudly, enjoying this time with him and appreciating him for allowing me to bathe and dry him. It takes a while for his coat to fully dry, but when I finish and turn the blower off, I snort a laugh as Valdr shakes his fur, looking like a puffed out, angry ball of fluff. I swiftly yank my phone out of my pocket and snap a photo of him before he bounds over to me, lifting his front paw and pushing me to the ground. He licks my face relentlessly until I beg him to stop and I shove him off me, completely covered in slobber.

“Argh, Valdr!” I pretend to be disgusted, swiping my face with my sleeve but end up laughing some more.

I push to my feet and wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “Come on, let’s go inside. I need a shower,” I mumble as I release him and lead the way to the front door.

Neither my mother nor Ria were in the house when we came inside and I led Valdr to my bedroom, telling him to get comfortable wherever he’d like while I took a shower. When I emerged from my bathroom, I found him sprawled out on my bed, taking up almost the entire space as he napped. I quietly went down to the kitchen to eat a quick breakfast, and upon my return he lazily lifted his head before dozing back off to sleep.

I lie on my side, curled up against his warm fur and listen to his deep, even breathing. Gently brushing my hand down his coat, I think of Kyran and feel sorrow at the thought of him suffering in pain alone. I hope you’re alright in there. I’m here for you, I say in my mind, squeezing my eyes shut.

Shh, I hear Luna’s soft voice whisper and remember how I can hear her while touching Kyran or Valdr. Don’t wake him, he needs rest, she says to me louder.

Concentrating on just her presence, I ask, Can you feel him? Kyran, I mean. Can you sense him right now?

Yes, I can. Though he is distant, I can feel him, she sounds hopeful and I smile.

Could you help me find his connection? I ask her, keeping my eyes closed and holding still.

My chest slowly blooms with warmth and at the center I feel a pressure. Focusing on it, I imagine a golden light forming a string and I pull on it gently, thinking of my concern and care for Kyran. I’m right here with you, you’re not alone. You don’t have to face this by yourself, I whisper, hoping he can hear me. I stay here for a few breaths then begin to release my hold on the connection, almost missing the faint tension that returns to me. I hold firmly onto our bond and remain there, focused only on keeping my energy entwined with it. I continue to think about my care and empathy for Kyran as I pour these feelings through our bond.

I realize I must’ve drifted to sleep as Valdr stretches beside me and I open my eyes, noticing the dimness of my room. Yawning, I also stretch out and reach for my phone, checking the time. My stomach gurgles as I see it’s late and I sit up, reaching a hand over to ruffle Valdr’s ear. He cracks his eye open and lolls his tongue out as he yawns, his sharp teeth on full display.

“Are you hungry? I’m going to make myself some dinner, what would you like? I can check for some meat in the freezer, though I don’t really know how appealing that is,” I mumble, scrunching my nose at him.

No, thank you. I’ll go hunt in the woods while you eat. It won’t take long, he responds as he slides off my bed, rising languidly.

“Don’t make a mess,” I say sternly, smirking when he looks over at me.

Valdr rolls his eyes up toward the ceiling and I laugh, climbing out of bed and crossing to my door. Opening it, I walk through the hallway and down the stairs, finding Ria and my mother ladling stew into their bowls. Asteria barks a laugh when she sees Valdr following behind me but my mother places her bowl down and hastily comes over to us. “Is everything alright? Why are you in wolf form?” she looks from me to Valdr, her brow pinching as she frowns.

Before I say anything, I notice how she intently looks at him and realize he must be speaking with her privately. I wait until she closes her eyes and nods her head once. When she opens her eyes again, she looks at me and gives me a gentle smile, placing her hand on my upper arm.

“He will return when he is ready, dear. Have patience with him, I trust you will come to understand his decision,” my mother says softly before returning to the kitchen.

I place my hand on Valdr’s shoulder and rub my fingers into his fur as I walk toward the front door. Pulling it open, I turn to him and give him a small smile, focusing on our bond.

Come back to me soon, I whisper in my mind as he steps onto the porch.

He turns around and presses his head to mine for a moment before silently bounding away into the darkness. I leave the door open and head into the kitchen for dinner, the three of us keeping quiet and allowing the deafening silence of our thoughts to take hold while we eat.