Loved by the War Machine

90 – For the Sake of Happiness (3)

The seat I’m in is hard, huh.

Surely, it must be a dream.

From the start, the fact that I’m outside is undoubtedly a dream.

After realizing this fact, only laughter escaped me.

“Hey.”

Someone called out to me.

A voice that was familiar but with a clean tone devoid of any noise.

The person who was pulling fire to my mouth with a cigarette I would never touch again –

“…Miguel.”

– Ting.

The lighter’s lid opened and closed.

Waves of light clouds covered the legs.

“Why are you here—”

“Just one question.”

Strangely, the smoke of the cigarette didn’t carry any scent.

Instead, it rose to the sky—covering the scenery.

As if it intended to make the already vague memories even more chaotic.

“Why do you treat machines so warmly?”

“…Don’t you avoid forming attachments to people as well?”

A moment of silence followed that remark.

After spitting out the cigarette and sighing, the smoke should have billowed out… but it didn’t.

For some reason.

Dreams were always a mess. Like this.

“Of course, I understand the concept of comradeship.

Helping each other to survive.

If I save you, you save me.

Simple. But… CI units are expendable.”

I wonder what kind of reaction the current Ilia would have if she saw the Ilia from the past.

Tossing away the stick, which no longer had any taste, she tried to stand up.

“What’s wrong with expendables having a bit of affection for each other?”

Words spilled from the unmoving mouth,

until she inhaled the smoke once again.

“Even though we’re consumables?”

“Can we change the fact that we’re considered consumables?”

“One can make an effort not to become disposable. Like me.”

The background gradually turns hazy.

…Next to me is Ilia.

For some reason—looking at me the way she did when I hugged her, still smiling at me.

“You can’t say that the scrap metal has a choice.

It just follows orders. Just like you do now.

I also follow orders, but at least I’m a ‘valuable asset’—not meant to be discarded.”

I wonder what I said at that moment.

After looking at Ilia standing silently beside me, I turned my head again…

“Can’t those in similar situations help each other and survive?”

“That’s why you’re peculiar.

While others try to find solace in having at least one person beneath them, even if mocked by their peers, you—despite offering advice to improve yourself, just…”

Well.

Looking at the outcome, you died alone.

To Ilia, whom you ignored so much.

“Enough. I won’t add more to you, the ‘machine geek.’

If you won’t change, stay as you are. I need to move early.”

I shook hands.

To the person who is no longer here.

… Are they really gone? Is that why they appear in my dreams like this?

“Taehyuk-nim.”

As I pushed a man into the mist, a person with a necklace draped over his head approached.

In the jumbled memories, Ilyria, who had just shown off her slender body a moment ago, said –

“Taehyuk-nim?”

Boasting a calling voice.

… Somewhere, laughter could be heard.

The shadows of fingers pointed at me.

“Taehyuk-nim.”

Something was strange.

Something.

***

“Ugh?!”

“I’m sorry; I should have woken you up urgently. Are you okay?”

Even though I knew it was a dream, I couldn’t break free.

… It was a common occurrence, but.

“…I should take better care of you now, Ilyria. The baby is coming soon.”

The ‘module’ attached was expanded for the baby’s sake.

The full belly Ilia saw in her dream.

Perhaps because of this, she had such a strange dream.

…Even recalling that nickname now, it’s meaningless.

“I value Taehyuk more than anything else.

…I thought you understood enough by now.”

Whatever.

Just looking at the tightly closed curtains is enough to know that much…

“It’s time to take your vitamins.”

Sunlight not seen even in dreams.

…No, I don’t even know when was the last time I experienced clear weather –

“Did you properly replace the amniotic fluid? How about nutrient supply?”

“It’s the final stages; there’s not much to worry about.”

“…I have to endure it myself and cut the artificial umbilical cord.”

Pregnancy and childbirth.

I’ve heard a lot about abortion, but receiving a child so naturally…

And the protagonist is me and Ilia.

I don’t really know what to do from now on, but he…

“As long as you follow the procedure properly, there shouldn’t be major difficulties.

Do you remember the moment when the most challenging steps of modification and conception took place?”

“I’ve been with you for almost a year since then; how could I not remember.”

The familiar bed. The familiar house structure, the familiar mechanical arms.

Recently, items for raising a child were diligently delivered to the house, accumulating steadily.

Of course, in the process, I never looked outside.

“I’ll be counting on you in the future as well.”

I gently ruffled the head of the one eagerly anticipating, then stood up and stretched.

…The child would be coming soon, so I couldn’t afford to neglect studying even a bit.

“By the way, there’s a saying that outdoor activities are important for a child’s education -“

“It will be prepared.”

“…Prepared, you say?”

Are they going to let me go outside, now?

Lift the lockdown?

“I understand Mr. Taehyuk well enough.

Thank you for enduring and considering me for a year under compulsory measures.”

The phone, now too embarrassing to call mine, emerged from Illya’s pocket and was handed to me.

There, in the vibrant residential area, colorful flowers and green plants grew…

“An aerial garden? Here -“

“Three days ago, the PRT-000, which was cooperating with me, confirmed the acquisition of an aerial garden.

Our residence will be relocated according to my request. Of course, it will happen after a stabilization period following childbirth.”

The place where high-ranking executives or people lived, I’m going to live there?

No, more importantly, the fact that they touched this place…

“People who lived there, and something about it. Illya, this is -“

“Lord Taehyuk, you don’t need to worry. I am aware of your concerns, but PRT-000 has already confirmed the termination of contact with Miresis.”

…What’s the meaning of all this? What exactly is going on?

Engaging in terrorism at a corporate facility, even resorting to armed conflict?

Are we just going to condone this situation?

“Illya, I need to see outside. I don’t understand any of your explanations.”

“You don’t have to understand.”

A hand was held.

And pulled.

…There is life inside the trembling ship.

A living, breathing child sleeps within the embrace of an unbreathing machine.

“Just focus on this.”

He wanted to say more, but he pressed his lips against the smiling face, fingers on the lips, in silence.

…The outside still remained unseen.

***

“Alright, it’s all filled.”

“Thank you.”

Through a ‘module’ whose purpose was unclear, the one holding the liquid, now gently patting the baby cradled in its arms, wet its lips.

…The motion of gently shaking the arms bit by bit was that of a perfect mother.

Yet, I’ve never seen my mom.

– Ssaek, ssaek…

With wide-open eyes, diligently nibbling on her hand, her face straining with effort… It was adorable.

Faint, but undeniably there were eyebrows.

Though it was downy, unmistakably long strands of hair were growing.

And those twinkling eyes.

“This is Joo Won…”

“Hmm?”

The little one gazing at me instead of suckling.

With a slightly yellowish tint, unable to swallow the formula in her mouth, dribbling down…

“Oh dear, it’s dripping.”

Gently wiping with my hands and putting it back in her mouth –

“Hmm!”

…she opened her mouth in delight, pouring it all out.

It was a pristine white outfit. Another stain appeared.

“It seems to be growing up healthy. It’s fortunate that there doesn’t seem to be a big issue sending an infant to a closed environment.”

“…Really. I thought I wouldn’t have any more worries.”

Trying to clean her mouth with a handkerchief, but with chubby sausage-like arms, I wonder how on earth she manages to exert strength.

Grasping the cloth tightly, the little one wouldn’t let go.

“Look at this little one.”

“Uh, ugh.”

“It’s known as a characteristic of a 3-month-old.”

“Gaining strength in hands and neck, cooing, and now, it will accurately distinguish between me and Mr. Taehyuk.”

“As mom and dad?”

“Yes, as mom and dad.”

Mechanical engineer, gunman, and now, dad.

The history of awkward titles to teach a child made me cough for no reason.

“I’ll feed a bit more… The baby refuses.”

“Ughhh.”

For some reason, the little one desperately turned to me, reaching out a hand.

The one who couldn’t control their body properly held my hand, squeezing it gently.

“Will you hold while I tidy up the clothes?”

“…Sure. Like this?”

“If you support the buttocks, yes.

Will you stay like that for a moment?”

Are you going to take another picture?

Come to think of it, did the digital frame start filling the house… since the birth?

“Having a baby feels like this.

…I’m satisfied. It’s like, with Mr. Taehyuk -“

“In front of the baby… I wouldn’t say such things.”

As I gently patted their back, a loud burp echoed through their body.

It was amazing how such a big vibration could come from such a small body.

Just like the kids I saw in Tech Boys, would this baby grow up like that too?

“Although the baby can make cooing sounds, they don’t understand the meaning of words.

And…”

“Hmm… um…”

The clothes started to feel damp.

Because of the drool.

I couldn’t close my mouth, always loose, making it drip down in a line… What should I say?

It’s not dirty, but –

“From the third month, the baby’s sleep time increases. If you lay them down here, they will go to sleep.”

“No, just sleep with me. That’s how we’ve been doing it – “

“An increase in sleep time means we have more time for ourselves.”

Before I could pull my hand away from holding the baby, I caught sight of Ilia’s back.

…The curtains were still closed.

“You seem a bit tired from taking care of the baby – “

“Yes, if you wait in bed first, I will change my clothes and join you.”

Damn it.