Love is Like Poison

“Uh, can I say something?”

“That’s not right, teacher!”

“Listen, I’m like, a huge nerd. Can I talk about shit no one cares about?”

Your name is AliciaAlice Sentinella, and only a few hours after that incident, you’re back to your old tricks. As you expected, ignoring Rita was the right call.

You join in with some of your friends on heckling Rita as she takes some shit out of the locker before heading home. Truth be told, you kinda have to push them into it, but it’s worth it. Gotta keep the pressure up. Maybe she’ll…maybe she’ll k-

…

…huh.

You can’t quite think up a good insult anyway. You let the others handle it before Rita is out of earshot…and then Sabina nudges you.

“Hey, you okay, Alice? You seem kinda out of it,” Sabina says. She wears her uniform without her blazer, and her hair in these rocking pigtails, a choker and heavy makeup really making her stand out…but, you know, curves are no replacement for working out like you do.

(Huh, you’re kinda a bit more conscious of her today…)

How could you tell anyone, anyway? The staff might believe it, but it’d just make you look bad in front of your friends. So there’s no way you can say Rita did some weird shit with some fetish glove thing, lest you get laughed at.

(Rita doesn’t even react to the heckling, but her eyes meet yours, and she smiles, like she’s trying to taunt you.)

“Eeh. It’s nothing. Just stressed out. Missing a week of school sucks,” you say.

“Wish I could’ve seen the look on her face.” ‘Her’ has a ton of venom behind it. Sabina’s a dyke, the only one in your group – but she goes on about how disgusting it is for Rita to still have a dick. (Which is a bit weird – Rita is disgusting no matter what she looks like, what her genitals are, what any of her is – she’s just gross.) “Fucking…so high and mighty…wish I could use stronger language.”

…hm.

You feel kinda weird about this now.

Well. Sabina uses the T-word, normally. Even you wouldn’t go that far. You just…use the old name to piss Rita off, it’s not like that. Still, you think Sabina maybe goes a bit far? Plus the other people she disdains for that, they definitely don’t deserve it like fucking Rita does.

Eh, whatever. You really need to work all this frustration off.

…you don’t usually do practice on Mondays, but…

Maybe you should step it up? You’ve lost a week, after all.

And maybe it’ll get Rita off your mind.

…

(your hand slides against the itch that formed under where she touched you.)

(Rita made a tweet this morning about how she likes fit girls.)

---

Track isn’t too tough. Your week off hasn’t made you rusty, fortunately. You spent all of that time keeping up on everything as much as you could – you have to work hard to maintain your own scholarship, not like Rita does. Honestly, she’s such a bitch, you really can’t stop thinking about her.

You still remember how Rita used to sit in and watch you all, back when she was named…

…

…well. Back when she had her old name. You remember her staring, and it was gross, how she stared at your abs, and your chest. And the other girls. How she looked at you, like that…

You find yourself stretching out a lot. You need to keep up. If you’ve lost any time thanks to your enforced break, it’d threaten your scholarship chances, which fucking Rita put in jeopardy with her fucking up the grade curves.

You sit down, sipping your water bottle. (Scratching that itch again.) Looking at the other girls – the benefit of being in sixth form is that all the people who aren’t properly driven have been weeded out. Even so, they’re not really on top form today. Ugh. You’re gonna have to ride their ass again –

“Alice, Alice, she’s our girl! If she can’t do it, we’ll all hurl!”

Your eyes flick over…yep. That’s Yuri. Aah, such a goddamned sight for sore eyes, huh?

“Glad to see you’re cheering me on,” you say, ruffling the girl’s hair as she approaches. You met Yuri back in high school, when she needed a tutor; she’s a cute and chirpy girl, the daughter of some Japanese diplomat or something. She was pretty damn close to failing her classes back then, but all it really took to catch her up was teaching her proper discipline. Along the way, the two of you became friends – hell, you see her more as a little sister than anything. She even dyed her hair blonde to fit in with the rest of you, though she’s a bit scrawny to really match up. “What’s on your mind?”

“Just glad to see you again,” Yuri says, coming in close to squeeze you tight. Aah, what a great friend. “I was worried about you, you know? But, that was a great stunt you pulled! I just wish I could’ve been there to see the look on her face when you pushed her~”

“It was a lot of fun,” you say. (As you itch yourself again, suddenly conscious of how close she is.) “Hey, you wanna go shopping later? I’ve got stuff I wanna get. New clothes.”

Yeah…yeah. You wanna show off. Really, everyone should know how good you look. Especially your abs. You put so much work into them. In fact…

You lay down after having enough water, placing your hands behind your head, and start some sit-ups.

(Rita made a tweet today about how much she likes abs and bare midriffs.)

“Ooh. Onee-chan is dedicated, isn’t she?” Yuri laughs, looking at you as she pulls out her phone. “Sure, I’ve got time. I think Sabina is busy, but I can call the others.”

Yeah…yeah, it’ll be good to see everyone again. There wasn’t much time last week, everyone else had their own shit going on.

You pull out your own phone…huh. Bluetooth is on. Weird. And you can’t turn it off…eeh, just your phone acting up, you’re sure. (You can tell because you should have way more battery than you do. Fucking smartphones, you’d think in the past few decades someone would’ve solved this problem.)

You and Yuri quickly type up invite messages…yeah. Everyone’s down. This’ll be great!

(Maybe if you spend more time with your friends, you can finally get Rita off your mind?)

---

“So what do you think?” you ask, as you slip out of the changing room. You’ve taken some inspiration from recent fashion trends, and of course the summer heat that chokes the air of a humid Southern Sun, and decided to show off your gains a little.

Instead of something that covers more of yourself, as you tend to favor even outside of your uniform, you’ve chosen a trendy tube top that bares your midriff, swinging your jacket behind you to show off.

Yuri does a faux dog-whistle, in her usual playful manner – she always did like to see you off on dates, dress you up…while Sabina, of course, well, she always gawks, dyke that she is.

(You don’t mind as much as you usually do.)

Your other friends, though…they seem a lot more skeptical.

“It’s a little daring, isn’t it?” Marie asks.

“I thought you didn’t like showing off,” Danielle says.

Aah, Marie and Danielle, and they are a pair where you can’t say one name without the other. These two look like sisters separated at birth – well, okay, you all kinda do, people joke about how you all look similar, something about ‘Alicefaces’, even Yuri gets that somehow? – but these two especially. Marie’s got the short hair and she’s…French? French Canadian? Or something? And Danielle’s got the longer hair and is British or something, or maybe American, or something. You don’t remember.

Marie and Danielle are kinda, the socialite type. They don’t do much studying, which kind of annoys you on some level, but they’re big on business and fashion design. Both of them have Sunset execs as parents, even. You’re not sure you’ve ever seen these two apart, but but you’re fairly sure it’s not a dyke thing, even if Sabina likes trying to get them to kiss when you’re all drinking late at night.

Suddenly, you remember seeing it, and wonder what it’d be like if they were doing it for real. Kissing passionately, for real. And going further…

“…hey, you okay, Alice?” Sabina asks, waving her hand in front of your face. “You’re spacing out, girl. I mean, I’m not gonna complain –”

“You’re such a ho,” Yuri says, sticking her tongue out at Sabine. “Come on, onee-chan just got off a week’s suspension, of course she’s gonna be off-kilter.”

“Mm…I guess it works,” Marie says. She’s got a sexy accent, both of them do, since they moved here only around middle school. “It’s a bit basic, but I guess you were never going to put that much effort into an ensemble.”

“Not really. Although, remember at prom, when she wore that tuxedo? Prom queen was guaranteed. Honestly, even I might be a little gay after that,” Danielle says, sipping on some boba.

“Nah.” Sabina shrugs. “If you were, I’d know.”

“Well, I like it, onee-chan.” Yuri rushes forward to hug you again, and you really do feel kinda vindicated for your weird whim.

Yeah…yeah, this was a great idea. You can show off like this. Plus it’s not like Rita will see. She doesn’t even go to track anymore, so you don’t have to deal with her staring at you with your stomach exposed, right?

…right?

(…you say that, but there’s some mark forming where Rita…whatever-the-fucked you. You should probably see a doctor at some point? Like, really…)

“Yeah…lemme just take a picture,” you say, getting your phone out to take a selfie. Big view on your abs! Just for you, of course – don’t want any creepers (especially not purple-haired ones) seeing it. Maybe a guy…

…

Maybe. Not like you’ve met guys who are interesting lately. Yeah, you’re in no hurry to be dating again. You’ve had some disasters, you know?

“…you’re acting kinda weird, honestly,” Marie says, brushing back some of her short, flared hair.

“You’ve been doing well, yes?” Danielle asks.

“Oh, yeah, totally. Just, everyone should be jealous of this,” you say, gesturing to your stomach.

“I know I am, onee-chan!” says Yuri, squeezing you tighter. Aww…

Well, fuck it if Marie or Danielle think you’re being weird. They’re not the boss of you. You do what you want! And if what you want is to show off how sexy you are, so be it. You’ve earned this.

Which is why you have to work all the harder to make sure you earn that scholarship, too.

(…besides…it matters a little less, what these girls think, doesn’t it…?)

---

The rest of the week…ugh. It’s a disaster. Every time you see Rita, you can only ever see her smiling. Nothing you say to her can ever rattle her.

It’s like Rita is taunting you every time she’s around.

To the point that you’re thinking of her while she’s not around.

Thinking about her, all the time, to the point where it’s distracting you from studying. Where you’re having trouble focusing on anything else.

Probably part of it is that the discoloration keeps growing. It might be infected or something. You kinda don’t wanna think about what it could be, it’s gross.

Still, something always comes up before you consider going to a clinic. Somehow. You wanna do practice every day now, for one. And there’s always something else going on, or homework…

Fucking hell.

Here among the lockers, Rita’s in your eyeline, furrowing her brow as she works on whatever nightmare of a problem your calculus prof came up with to challenge her. She doesn’t deserve special attention, and the teachers know that too. Why bother pretending?

You just can’t stop thinking about her.

Ugh. To make matters worse, your dad said the way you were acting was like a crush.

Of course it’s not a crush. It could never be.

Even if it weren’t Rita, y’know, Rita, the girl you’d kill in a ditch if you ever thought you could get away with it, you’re into…y’know, guys.

(You itch again, and feel something vaguely like disgust in the pit of your stomach.)

She wears this gross new perfume, too. She even smells like a weirdo. God, you just hate her so much. Someone should just make her die, then you’d never have to think about her ever again.

(…even as you continue thinking about how much you hate her.)

“…um. Onee-chan?”

“Oh, hey, Yuri. Everything okay?” You look over at your little sister as she steps up, sighing as you try and sort out the mess in your locker. “What’s wrong?”

“Um…I’m, um. More interested in if something’s up with you?” Yuri looks worried…hm.

“I mean. Maybe? A little? I don’t know. It’s just. Fucking Rita.”

“You’ve been talking about her a lot lately,” Yuri says, smiling a little – and yeah, she’s worried. “Maybe, um. Maybe it’s better if you stop? Like…you know, you’re graduating soon, right? Even if you’re worried about your scholarship, it’d be a lot better for you if you just put things like that aside. You already got suspended once…”

“Mmnh. She just, bugs me so damn much.” You slam your fist into your locker. “If I could…”

“…ah, um.” Yuri raises a finger. “Listen, if you’re troubled, talk to someone. I’d, really like it, if you’d tell me if anything’s bothering you. Okay? I just, I worry about you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Everyone’s worried about me.”

…it bothers you a little.

You feel less close to everyone. You kind of, you don’t really…you’re not sure how you feel. It’s just so hard to concentrate, you wish you could just, do something about Rita…

“Well, uh…maybe, you could come over tonight? I know you’re really busy…”

“I’ll try,” you mutter. “I’ll just, check my homework.” You’re pretty sure you’re behind.

…it doesn’t help that you’ve been a bit frustrated.

Like any growing girl, you like a good frig from time to time. But lately, every time you try, you just get upset at Rita, and can’t get turned on by your usual shit.

Ugh.

You really are kind of a mess…

Yuri smiles reluctantly, and wanders off. Leaving you alone…

(…touching the discoloration where Rita stung you.)

(She smiles as you pass by, and your heart pulses, wondering if she saw.)