LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 22
The world I entered through the second script was different from before.
‘Nobody’s here.’
It wasn’t showing a scene from Lee Jae-yi’s life.
It was a space where I could freely roam as Lee Jae-yi himself.
Crack.
However, it wasn’t that easy.
The countless shards of glass scattered on the floor were preventing me from moving recklessly.
The surroundings were dark.
A pitch-black world where nothing could be seen.
‘It’s starting to show little by little.’
As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, the surroundings gradually revealed themselves.
A huge, empty opera hall.
In that space, I—no, ‘Lee Jae-yi’—was left all alone.
The floor was carpeted with broken glass shards.
I, ‘Lee Jae-yi,’ looked down at the stage below.
On the old, worn-out stage, where not a single beam of light shined, stood a grand piano.
It was Jae-yi’s only pride and the last remaining lifeline.
“…I have to go.”
To show that I could prove my talent.
Crack, crack.
Slowly stepping down, crushing the glass shards underfoot.
A world where nothing was properly completed.
The only thing left unbroken there was the piano.
Broken, shattered, worn out, the only finished product in a world where everything else was lost.
Squish.
With every step I took towards the piano, the glass shards stuck to my soles dug into my skin.
Where did my shoes go? That didn’t matter.
Creeeeak.
The sound of pulling out the piano bench was like someone’s scream.
Was it the scream Mom let out when she broke the jar?
Or was it my own cry feeling an unbearable loneliness one day?
Well, that doesn’t matter now.
Swoosh.
The piano lid opened, revealing the hidden keys inside.
As my fingers touched the white keys, a sound burst forth.
– Maybe someone like you shouldn’t have been born… No, wait, I’m sorry, Mom.
As tears fell on the black keys, the sound flowed out.
– I never thought of you as my son; shouldn’t you have followed your mother instead?
Those cruel words pierced my whole body like needles.
Yeah, this is a familiar tune.
It’s hatred so entangled that it no longer leaves my body.
I realize now.
I didn’t bloom from hatred.
I am—
++++++
Time rewinds to the present.
Director Kim Youngmo went to the principal’s office to say he wanted to use the grand piano.
It was true that he had borrowed the entire preview, and there wouldn’t be any problem just using it.
Yet saying it felt morally right.
“…So you’re saying you want to use the grand piano?”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“Um…”
“Um…”
The principal made a troubled expression.
“Actually, the reason I didn’t bring up the equipment when lending the whole rehearsal space was that I knew the actors wouldn’t be able to handle it.”
After finding out how the shoot for ‘Hydream’ would go down.
The principal, knowing that actors who haven’t professionally trained can’t use certain instruments, just casually said they’d lend everything.
But now, a grand piano?
Of course, playing the piano wouldn’t break anything, but the very fact that a non-major would handle such an instrument was worrisome.
‘Though it’s already tuned, so there shouldn’t be any issues.’
Hmm, a brief moment of contemplation.
Still, he had to see his word through to the end.
Nodding, he added an extra condition.
“May I join and watch as well?”
“Oh, of course! What could be the problem?”
The shoot was about to begin soon, so let’s go together.
The refreshing words from PD Kim Youngmo put the principal in a better mood.
Typically, people from the broadcasting station are all strict, sensitive, and act like they’re the boss.
“Hmm, I hope the drama does well.”
Offering a small prayer, the principal followed PD Kim Youngmo.
There were countless staff members spread out wide around a central figure.
“Is that kid the one playing?”
“Yes, that’s actor Kim Donghu.”
“He’s ridiculously handsome. I’ve never seen someone that good-looking in my life.”
The principal voiced his honest impression.
While working as the head of a performing arts school, he had encountered many talented individuals, but he’d never seen someone that striking before.
“Is he going to play right now?”
“No, he’s just loosening up a bit before starting.”
“I see.”
Once the face-gazing ended and it was time to enjoy the performance, the principal’s expression suddenly hardened.
Seeing an actor is from a viewer’s perspective, but listening to a performance is from the principal’s, which naturally made him serious.
His gaze that had been on the actor slowly descended, and his eyebrows perked up slightly.
“By any chance, is that actor Kim Donghu a trained pianist?”
“No, I haven’t heard anything like that. I’ve just heard he knows how to play. Is there a problem?”
“Oh, no, not at all. Haha.”
The principal awkwardly laughed and observed Kim Donghu’s posture once more.
‘No matter how I look at it, he seems like a major.’
The way he sat at the piano and positioned his feet to pedal.
His upright posture and natural placement of fingers on the keys.
Everything about him carried the vibe of a professional.
It was an atmosphere that only Confucius could possess.
Countless efforts piled up, revealing even a few hardened habits now and then.
And then, when the performance began, it surprised the principal.
♪♩♪♩♬♩♪
The light and lively sound stretched out beautifully.
“Oh, really impressive!”
From a layperson’s perspective, it was top class.
With just a bit more polishing, he could enroll in a prestigious school right away.
“Y-Yeah, I can’t believe how well he plays!?!”
“…?”
Wasn’t he aware of this? Why was he so surprised?
The principal was flustered seeing Kim Youngmo PD’s enthusiastic reaction.
Shrug.
Thinking it wasn’t a big deal, the principal shrugged his shoulders.
Anyway, with that level of playing, it shouldn’t pose a problem.
Just when he wanted to feel relieved, Kim Youngmo PD’s words caught the principal off guard.
“Is that just a warm-up? He could be better when he truly performs?”
“H-Huh?”
“I don’t really know much about pianos, so since he plays that well, I was just wondering if it’s practice.”
Now that he thought about it, it was true.
That was just a simple warm-up.
But if that’s the case—
‘It’s likely just show-off.’
Honestly, even that level was impressive.
But to say he could do even better?
‘Everyone seems to be too deeply engrossed in the show-off of a 14-year-old.’
Isn’t that an age when one tells lies all the time?
Just because the kid knows how to play doesn’t mean they should have such high expectations.
The principal glanced around.
Were they about to start shooting after the practice?
Excitement was evident on everyone’s faces.
It was indeed a sad thing.
High expectations usually lead to great disappointments.
“Ah, he might play even better, and it’s definitely possible.”
Still, the principal decided to nod along and maintain his composure.
“Alright, we’re rolling! Cue!”
As the cue sign dropped and red lights lit up the camera.
Boom.
The black keys were pressed down gently, slowly spreading throughout the area.
“…!”
The principal’s eyes bulged out in shock.
+++++
After practicing the piano as a trial,
I nodded, signaling to the director that I was ready.
The performance I had practiced numerous times through immersion,
My fingertips trembled as if they wanted to burst forth.
But not yet.
Now was not the time.
This performance was one that ‘Kim Donghu’ should not do.
It was a score allowed only for Lee Jae-yi.
The score of contempt only allowed for Lee Jae-yi.
“Okay, we’re rolling! Cue!”
As the permission was granted, emotions vanished from my face.
Doom.
As soon as the black spear touched my fingers, disgust surged.
– I’ve never thought of you as a son; shouldn’t you have followed your mother out?
Ding.
As the white spear produced a note, the contempt I had forgotten burst forth.
– Maybe you shouldn’t have been born… no, no, I’m sorry, Mom.
Lee Jae-yi, or ‘me,’ was born among shattered pieces and never once looked below.
I was never born in disgust.
Inside that, I grew up, devouring it, living with it, just like the maggot in my mother’s broken pot.
I’ve lived consuming, chewing, and reliving disgust.
Yeah, I was a flower that grew by eating disgust.
The performance begins.
The hatred for family flows through the keys.
Why did you have to shatter like that, leaving me as a child?
Couldn’t you be a bit more accommodating and think of me?
With every press of the pedal, resentment towards the inferior bursts forth.
How could you smile like that?
Can you really smile even when looking at a trophy discarded in the trash? Can you really be that cheerful?
How can you, who are inferior to me?
‘I should have what I can’t possess.’
That’s both a question and an inferiority complex.
You said that if you have talent, if you have ability, you can have it all.
So why can’t I have anything that I truly desire?
That’s why I hated you.
I resented the very attempt of fools who try to achieve something with their parents’ support.
I hated it.
I hated the entire world.
A world that only allowed me this one piano.
My wretchedness, only allowed to have the broken pieces, was
‘disgusting.’
The self-loathing surged and spread across the keys.
That’s why you can’t succeed, no, you must not succeed.
My gaze fixed on the camera, and my hands moved even quicker.
If you hadn’t faltered at the wall of talent, I will make you falter.
Bearing this boiling hatred, I shall kill your ideals.
More passionately, more heavily, more intensely.
Moonlight Sonata, First Movement.
Lee Jae-yi’s contempt permeates everywhere.