Life in Vain: Jobless Reincarnation

...The Greyrat stamina and fully unleashed sex-drive was scary. Especially when a certain someone stubbornly uses constant healing magic to keep up.

I glanced over at the bed after cleaning myself up. And when I saw the state Roxy was in, I coughed and looked away in embarrassment.

After trying to keep up with me for two days straight and using healing magic to forcibly restore her stamina, Roxy had collapsed spread eagle on the bed, naked and covered in...

Ahem.

Her blue eyes were glazed while a silly smile was on her face as she mumbled beneath her breath. As for the details...

The mind was willing, but the body was weak, I guess, aha...

I picked Roxy up and started walking towards the spa to clean her up. But even as I did, she didn't react.

In fact, her body was completely limp, and I had to take care not to let her just flop out or accidently strain herself.

...And this was with me holding back and letting her take the lead.

My lovely intelligent wife here fell victim to her pride and pushed herself beyond her limits.

It was a bit worrying just how out of it she was acting. Especially since she seemed like she had been hit by a few certain H tags.

But physically, she was fine. It just seemed like her nerves had been overloaded with mind-melting pleasure.

...Hopefully it was just metaphorical and not actual.

I would never live that down, even if I could fix it.

In hindsight, probably should have stopped her from using healing magic.

Since healing magic tended to heal according to the user's intention, as well as correct the body's natural state...

Well, the result here was the equivalent of a high-end drug and aphrodisiac that clearly sent Roxy out of her mind.

It was self-inflicted, but...

Hah.

I soaked Roxy in the spa and then started washing her down with a sponge and some soap.

"It takes seeing someone act like you to see what you do wrong, huh?"

For all her genius, Roxy being stubborn ended up causing her to do something really reckless.

The changes *shouldn't* be permanent, but she had definitely turned herself into a complete nympho for a night.

...And considering how she was still convulsing with the lightest touch as I cleaned her, it was pretty bad.

Hah...

I conjured up a bowl and gently washed Roxy's hair. "I know the thing about having a virgin who's super into it is an infamous dream for guys, Roxy, but you didn't have to be THAT enthusiastic..."

Of course, my lovely wife was still lost in her fantasies right now and out of her mind.

Well, in the worst case, I could just cast a God-ranked healing spell on her and forcibly reset her body-

Wait.

...Would that cause an abortion?

The result of Roxy's hard work was already clear, judging from the flickering blue flame in her stomach.

But if I cast such a powerful healing spell, wouldn't it erase everything?

The lower-tier spells were more like 'remodeling' and 'restoration' but the top-tier spells were flat-out 'overwrite' and 'erasure.'

...

I started to sweat. "Roxy? Wife?"

She leaned back to look at me.

I when I saw that, I started to relax.

But then she giggled, her eyes still hazy. After that, she reached out to grab me and tried to give me a kiss.

I sighed and gently pried her off.

Roxy pouted, but then just relaxed and leaned against me.

...Let's hope that my smart wife actually thought this through, because I'd rather not have to test just how far my knowledge of biology went and whether I could create a test-tube baby.

But anyway.

Quietly pushing my nervousness down, I completely washed Roxy, changed her back into normal clothes. After that, I conjured a picnic table and sat Roxy down with a glass of cold orange juice, fresh fruit, and some pancakes.

Could never go wrong with pancakes.

And after that, I sat across from her with a stack of my own pancakes and waited.

Through it all, Roxy kept her gaze on me, her eyes still hazy and her expression still that silly smile.

But as time passed, and with every blink, her eyes began to focus. And then after about ten minutes, she flinched and then looked around. "Rudy?" She frowned and said, "What are we-"

She suddenly paused, as if all the memories were flooding back. And then she turned a deep red and covered her face. "We... I am NEVER messing with healing spells during sex EVER again."

"Yeah..." I nodded. "Probably a smart move."

"Uuuu." Roxy slumped on the table and covered her head. "So many embarrassing things. Why did I say and ask for all those shameful acts...? And what I did..."

I scratched my cheek. "You seemed to enjoy it though?"

Roxy sat up and pointed at me, her face still a bright red. "That's the worst part! I was conscious! And it felt...!" She froze and then quickly shook her head. "Nonono. It was definitely the healing magic. I'm not like that. I mean, I might have fantasized a lot over the years since I haven't found anyone I wanted to do 'it' with, but I definitely never would have- I mean taking it from... Plus the way I was gob- Uuuuuuuuuu."

Roxy covered her face again. "Just kill me."

"Sorry, Roxy." I reached over to pat her head and said, "You promised for eternity, so I can't do that."

"Asshole."

I flinched.

Roxy raised her head and then let out a deep sigh. "Whatever!" She flung her hands up and said, "What's done is done. A-Anyway..." She suddenly became shy and fidgeted in her seats. Looking at me, she lowered her head and said, "T-Thank you for indulging me..."

I waved my hand. "No. Thank you for letting me indulge in you."

Roxy nodded and then paused. After that, she glared and said, "You're incorrigible."

I smiled.

Roxy huffed and then placed a hand on her belly. She concentrated for a bit and then let out a relieved sigh. "As expected, I'm indeed pregnant. And thankfully with just a single child."

"Mmhm." I nodded and said, "Considering how much healing magic you used, it's a small miracle. After all, your body could have sped up your ovulation and then-"

Roxy held up her hand and said, "Please stop talking. I REALLY don't want to consider the implications of what I did to my body in the past 48 hours and the potential permanent changes..."

I let out a nervous laugh.

...If there's a friendly god listening right now who's willing to grant a few small miracles...

Roxy shook her head and then picked up her silverware before eating a slice of fruit. After that, she looked at me and said, "Have you thought of any names for our child?"

I frowned. "...Okay. Is there like a new mother syndrome or something where the first thing a woman asks her husband after getting pregnant is what they should name their child?"

Roxy raised an eyebrow. "...That sounds like you're reluctant to be a father, Rudy." She paused and then lowered her head. "Did... Did you not want a child yet...?"

"Of course I do! Just... Names take time and careful consideration! Thinking of one on the spot isn't good!"

I paused, realizing just how that made me sound. Particularly how it seemed like I wasn't thinking about the kids at all yet.

"Besides!" I wracked my brain for some logic to my words and then said, "Isn't there a taboo or jinx about naming unborn children before big events anyway?"

Right. I remembered reading something like that a long time ago with Sylphy.

Roxy paused, considering my words. And then she said, "You're thinking of the tale of Feroze Star. But it's before a journey, not a big event." She tilted her head, thinking. And then her eyes lit up. Staring right at me, she let out a sly smile and said, "Rudy. Could it be that you're not good at naming things?"

I coughed. "Who? Me? Of course not! I'm great at naming things! I'll have you know it was my idea to name the kingdom of Arcadia."

Roxy smiled and tapped her chin. "Is that so? Then who named the White Knights?"

"..."

Roxy laughed and said, "Come on, my genius husband. Surely you can think of a single name for our child?"

"Of course I can! Just... Let's see, if it's a girl..."

"And no taking names from the other Roxy's children."

"..."

Dammit. She saw right through me, huh?

"A-Alright. Then let's start with if we have a son."

Roxy nodded. "Go on."

If it was a boy... A good name...

Roxy... Roxanne...

Wait.

"How about Roxas?"

Roxy gave me a blank look.

I put on a shameless smile and nodded. "Yep!"

"...Okay. Definitely... unique. And if we have a daughter?"

"Namine."

"Namine?"

"Right."

Roxy stared at me.

I kept up my shameless smile and did my best not to think of the fact that I was doing the worst thing a gamer parent could do by naming their children after video game characters.

"...Well, it's pretty." Roxy nodded. "I guess I can forgive you for the atrocity presented for a future son's name."

I crossed my arms and said, "Well okay then, Miss Genius. What names would YOU choose?"

"For our son, I was thinking Mars, and for a daughter, Venus."

I blinked. "...You want to name our children after planets?"

Ha! It seemed like I wasn't the only one with a poor naming sense!

Roxy blushed and then looked away. "W-Well, you're my sun, and you called me your moon, s-so... I was just thinking along those lines..."

Ah, fuck.

I'm the idiot here.

Dammit.

All those snide comments about me being a shameless flirt were coming around to bite my ass.

Note for the Greyrat Guide for Dummies: Women remember EVERYTHING. Be careful what you say to them.

"Well there are better names than those if we're going with celestial bodies."

Roxy looked at me and said, "Really?" She looked doubtful and said, "Do tell then."

We have a theme! Alright, this is much easier then.

"For our son, we can go with Elio then. It's a name derived from 'sun,' so it fits thematically and symbolically. And as for our daughter, we can go with Luna- Ah wait, Rostelina already called her daughter that. Then... Selena would work."

Roxy hummed. "Elio and Selena... I've never heard of them. But they do sound better than the first names you proposed."

"See?" I raised my head up and said, "I can name things."

"I guess so. But I'll consider them."

"...Only consider them?"

Roxy nodded. "Right. As you said, it's bad luck to name an unborn child before a journey. And knowing my dear husband, you're going on a journey soon to resolve things, right?"

"True- Wait. Um... is it really bad luck to do that?"

Roxy nodded. "Of course. Everyone knows that."

I let out an awkward laugh and muttered, "Not everyone..."

Silence.

And then Roxy let out a deep sigh. "Don't tell me you've named your other children already?"

"Ahaha..."

Roxy shook her head. "Well. That just means that you, dear husband, are grounded for a year."

"...I can't take a few little trips here and there?"

"Do you want to risk a repeat with Stella?"

"Good point."

After that, we ate in a comfortable silence, talking about various things and catching up.

But as soon as we finished, Roxy stood up and said, "Well, we should get going then."

I frowned. "Already?"

Roxy turned a bright red and said, "You pervert. Did you want to keep going after that?!"

Yes.

I mean...

I coughed. "O-Of course not... But there's still another full day we have. Technically, another whole evening too."

Roxy hesitated, but then she resolutely shook her head. "No." She looked at me and then her eyes started looking down. But then she forced them back up and blushed. "I-If we stay any longer, I might become something ridiculous. S-So we need to get going."

I coughed. "Right. Then..." I got up and held out my hand.

Roxy stared at it and then immediately looked away. "...Lewd."

"What? What did I do?"

Roxy's face blushed and she started walking off. "L-Let's just get going!"

...Well.

I guess I could confirm that Roxy was definitely a lewd woman?

Though I guess I already knew that from the fact that she was getting off to-

"Ahem."

Roxy glared at me, and then I heard her voice in my head.

'You're thinking too loud, dear husband. And so you saw th-that after all, didn't you...'

"Ahaha..."

...Let's just get going.

We left the room and walked through the double doors. The moment we did, Mercy popped up from the floor and saluted us. "Welcome back, Master! Rudy! Did you have fun?"

Roxy blushed and averted her gaze.

I laughed. "Your master's being shy, but we definitely had a lot of 'fun.'"

Roxy jabbed my ribs.

I smiled.

Mercy raised her hands and said, "Yay! I'm glad!" She ran up to hug me, and then she hugged Roxy. "I hope I can see a cute mini Master or Mini Rudy soon!"

Roxy flinched. "E-Excuse me?!"

I laughed again and patted Mercy on the head. "We'll visit when they're born."

"Yay!"

Roxy shook her head and then focused. "We are heading off now, Mercy. Keep watch on the place, okay?"

Mercy saluted. "You can count on me! Bye for now, Master! Rudy!"

With that, Mercy sank back into the floor and disappeared.

After that, Roxy started walking towards the exit.

I followed after her and said, "Is there a particular reason you're keeping Mercy here and not with you? She seems like she's pretty strong."

Although Mercy acted cute and adorable, the fact that she could maintain this entire complex magical construction meant that she was definitely powerful.

Roxy nodded. "That's why I leave Mercy here. She's a new Elemental Spirit Lord, so she would draw attention."

I frowned. "Doesn't she get lonely then?"

I knew that Stella's spirit friends definitely whined and complained when they were separated from her, so I was surprised Mercy didn't.

Roxy shook her head. "Mercy likes being alone. And even if she gets lonely, we still share a mental connection." She frowned. "...Though Mercy only uses that to show off the little sculptures and toys she makes from the scrap material I have stored in the Dungeon Home."

"Huh." I rubbed my chin. "I guess spirits have personalities, so it's not too weird that there could be introverted spirits out there..."

But man, wouldn't that suck? Here you are, a complete introvert, and suddenly you get permanently stuck to a summoner 24/7.

That must be a nightmare-

Oh wait. Isn't that Wyn?

...No wonder she's sleeping all the time.

Like Roxy first mentioned, the Dungeon Home was in a small townhome. Surprisingly, it was set up just like one of my Anywhere doors, taking over an empty door frame.

But anyway, we walked out of the house and headed back to the Greyrat home together.

Roxy still stubbornly refused to hold my hands, calling me Lewd every time I tried.

...It seemed like she definitely had 'something' on her mind. And that she would get relentlessly bullied by the others for it when they talked.

But that was her problem, not mine.

It was morning, the sky a clear bright blue. Since it was in the middle of the week, the streets were mostly empty, leaving us undisturbed the entire walk back.

And then we arrived.

I took the lead and unlocked the front gate before walking inside.

The courtyard was cleaned up now. But I noticed that there were a few new additions.

Someone in the family had taken up gardening, since there was a new flower patch off to the side. There were also a few tree saplings planted too.

But as I walked along the path to the house with Roxy behind me, I had a weird sense of deja vu.

For a few moments, another scenery overlapped with my eyes. The path covered by snow, the house empty, dark, and cold.

'Huh?'

I blinked and then realized that it was my right eye.

I frowned and covered it with my hand. The moment I did, the overlapping scenery vanished.

It wasn't winter, it was summer. There wasn't snow on the ground, but flower petals from blossoming trees. Not only that, but there weren't evergreen trees lining the path up to the house, but the familiar bronze and gold trees I made to fend off Being W.

But that was odd.

My right eye was a Demon Eye, but I definitely deactivated it. For it to act up now of all times and show me that...

"Rudy?" Roxy walked up from behind me. "Is something wrong?"

A split second. For a moment, I saw her as her smaller self. But when I blinked, that vision faded, and she was like how I remembered her, grown up and mature.

"...No." I shook my head. "I guess I'm just feeling... nostalgic?"

It was a weird emotion. Not quite sadness or happiness. And also not really nostalgia... though that was the closest I had for it.

If anything... it felt like I had done something I thought was impossible a long time ago?

I frowned, but then shook my head. After that, I put on a smile.

Whatever the case was, this wasn't the time for it.

I walked up to the house doors and pushed them open. Afterwards, I called out and said, "We're home!"

A brief silence, and then a loud group of groans echoed from the living room off to the left.

Dad's voice echoed. "Hah! Told you they'd be back a day early!"

Philip's voice echoed next. "Curses!"

Eri laughed and said, "You should have believed me, Dad."

After that, it was Rowin. He laughed and said, "Roxy is stubborn, but it seems like Emperor Rudr- Ah, Rudy is too great even for her."

Roxy walked in after me and then turned a bright red. "What in the world are you all talking about?!"

I laughed and then grabbed Roxy's hand, leading her over.

She flinched, but she was upset enough that she ignored it.

Together, we rounded the corner to the living room. And when we did, we were greeted by a full room.

Mom, Mama Lily, and Dad, sitting together at a table. Dad, acting smug, Mom facepalming, and Mama Lily quietly counting money.

Philip and Hilda, sitting across from them. Philip, rubbing his face. Hilda, sighing.

Seated at a couch nearby, Laws and Rose smiled. And at another couch next to them were Rowin and Rokari, Roxy's parents.

At a smaller table, Aisha, Norn, and Stella were playing cards with small candies and figurines as bets while Wata, Wyn, Leo, and Fai watched.

And of course, Stella was winning, with Aisha a close second and Norn completely bankrupt except for one piece of candy.

Eos, Ena, and Roland were sitting at a table in the back, flipping through some books.

And then finally, Eri, Sylphy, and Rika were arranging dishes on a long table filled with food.

Everyone was here. Well at least, everyone in my immediate family.

It would have been more complete if Pierre and Rostelina were here, but it seemed like they were giving us a bit of privacy.

Dad looked over and chuckled. "Welcome home, sleepyheads."

Mom waved and said, "Did you enjoy your honeymoon?"

Philip sighed and said, "Could you not have taken one more day, Son? You're making me lose money."

Hilda clicked her tongue and said, "You shouldn't bet on your son then, Dear."

"If not him, who else?" He pointed at Dad and said, "I'm not shameless enough to bet against my own child like my cousin here."

Dad coughed.

At that time, Norn, Aisha, and Stella got up.

"Onii-chan!" Stella ran over first to give me a hug. "Welcome back! ...And do you have any sweets? I'm clearing house here."

Aisha walked over next to hug Roxy. "Welcome home, Big Sister." After that, she hugged me too and said, "And you too, Rui."

Norn stomped over and said, "Hey! No hogging Big Brother! And Rui's supposed to be my nickname, Aisha!"

Aisha stuck out her tongue.

Mama Lily got up and then waved. "Welcome home, Rudy."

Mom got up too. "Welcome back! It's a bit rowdy right now, but it's all the better, right?"

After that, Eri, Sylphy, and Rika walked over.

Rika spoke first, looking at Roxy. Clicking her tongue, she said, "You were devoured as well, weren't you?"

Eri sighed and said, "That's why I said we need to get you and Roxy on a training regime, Rika. We won't last at this rate..."

Sylphy nodded. "And it's not fair to keep Rudy waiting..."

Dad let whistled and said, "Wow. You're that impressive, huh, Kid?"

Roxy covered her face and groaned. "Just... Just end me. Anyone."

It was a warm and bubbly atmosphere. Although there were teasing remarks and some snide comments, it was all in good fun.

Not only that, but there was even a warm breakfast set up for us when we returned.

...It was silly, since they had no way of knowing for sure we'd be back today, but still, the fact that they went through it all...

It was nice.

Looking around the room at everyone... No. At my family, I felt weird.

And then the room started to blur.

At first, I thought it was my Demon Eye acting up again like when I was walking up to the house with Roxy. But when I went to rub my eyes, it felt wet.

And then I realized. It wasn't that my eyes were acting up.

I was crying.

Stella jumped up and panicked. "O-Onii-chan?! What's wrong? Why are you crying? you aren't going to disappear now, right? This isn't roll credits, ending, nothing?!"

I laughed and wiped away my tears. "Don't be silly, Stella."

I realized what it was now.

Surrounded by family like this, a warm meal ready as I returned home...

The biggest regret I had as I died in my past life was being washed away.

Although I never made it to that Christmas dinner to apologize to everyone, and although this wasn't exactly the same...

I sniffed and brushed away my tears again. "I'm just... I'm just happy."

My expression must have looked ridiculous, but I couldn't help but smile as I looked around at everyone. "To have my family all here. My lovely wives, sisters, children, and parents..." I wiped away my tears again and sniffed. "I love you guys. So, so much. A-And I'm so... so happy...!"

Dammit! I thought I grew out of the crybaby phase!

Roxy grabbed my hand. "Rudy..."

Norn rushed over to hug me. "I love you too, Rui!"

"Hey!" Stella squeeze past Norn to hug me. "No hogging Onii-chan, Norn!"

Aisha walked over next and joined the group hug. "I-I love you too Rui. ...Even if you're not the best big brother."

After that, more people joined the hug.

Overwhelming love and care.

Faced with that, the only thing I could do was cry.

And then I heard the door open, followed by a pair of footsteps.

Pierre walked in, holding a tray of food. "I still think that they probably won't- Oh."

Rostelina walked in beside Pierre, holding her baby daughter. After that, she looked at the group hug and let out a deep sigh. "I TOLD you we should have come earlier, Hubby. You have TERRIBLE timing."