Life in Vain: Jobless Reincarnation

A lot happened when we got back home. To sum things up...

Pierre was actually a time traveler (or something) who was here to help out with Being W and 100% on my side.

Stella was the reincarnation of a high school girl from Earth who apparently was key in breaking a timeloop the world was supposedly stuck in.

...And multiverse shenanigans. Lots of multiverse shenanigans. Specifically, multiverse shenanigans that resulted in multiple timelines existing where it should just be one. At least, according to Laplace.

Oh yeah. It turned out that Pierre was Laplace. Not to be mistaken with the Demon God Laplace. Instead, he was Technique God Laplace. A good Laplace who wanted to work with me and Orsted to take down Being W for good.

Honestly... At this point, things didn't surprise me anymore. So, after a smile and a nod to all the recent revelations, I kissed my two lovely wives, gave headpats to my adorable sisters and Ena, then helped set up for dinner.

Now, some people would say that those revelations were a big deal and that I should definitely be focusing on them.

To that, I say three words: Magic is everything.

Also, another word: Delegation.

Orsted was handling everything back at the Asura Kingdom as well as that entire continent.

Rika was taking care of the Magic Continent, and Atofe had pledged her loyalty, so I didn't have to worry about Arcadia.

And then Cliff was handling everything in Milis. Things could get a bit messy, but he had Astolfo along with the other original White Knights to help out. In the worst case, I could always pop the magic formations I made and then fake a divine descent to double down on being the reincarnation of Saint Milis.

Not only that, but I learned my lesson facing Being W. Or rather, I learned a lesson from that guy's mistakes.

Direct interference is bad.

It was much better to have a bunch of competent people handling things instead of stepping in myself. Mostly because when I stepped in, the world would definitely be changing.

Probably because 'destiny' was a tangible concept in this world (according to Laplace) and my presence broke it in weird ways.

To sum it up: I wasn't thinking about that for now.

The more important thing was Mom and Mama Lily.

Since Roland said he was from K500... and since the current year was K417, give or take a year due to time shenigans, that meant Mom and Mama Lily were over eighty years in the future. In a parallel timeline future too.

Definitely explained why I couldn't find them. Reaching something like that would require a lot of time, calculations, and mana.

Well, I could always bruteforce it, but something told me that ripping my way through spacetime into another dimension wouldn't be looked on very kindly. Even if the 'me' in that time was dead, Being W definitely wasn't. And I'd rather not have to deal with being double-teamed by two of him. Or have him come up with some BS card I wasn't prepared for.

While I wanted to see Mom and Mama Lily again, it was enough to know they were somewhere safe.

Besides, since I knew they were safe, and since the flow of time could be adjusted to line up to any point on a parallel line... in theory, the observer effect should hold true and prevent anything from happening to them that would make that fact a lie.

If not... Well, we'd be finding out pretty quick how BS timetravel shenanigans could be when I start pulling out all the strats that I remembered from sci-fi, games, books, anime, and whatever else I recalled. And if none of that worked, I could rely on Stella since she was up to date on more recent pop culture. And if *that* didn't work, we had good ol' Dad and his broken common sense when it came to swords.

I had a good feeling that if I started rambling about the crazy Chinese martial arts myths where people could become immortal through achieving enlightenment, he'd find a way to make it happen and get us there.

So... Not worried.

Right now, in this moment, there was only one thing I needed to do. And that was having a proper family outing with everyone now that all the bombshell revelations were out of the way.

Stress-free, wholesome family time.

I think we were about due for that anyway.

-RNG-

A glittering blue sky. Pristine white sand, not hot, but a comfortable warmth from the sunlight above. A cool and refreshing seaside breeze...

In other words, a peaceful beach trip.

Since we were in Saint Port, I decided that we should all take advantage of the beach and enjoy a fun summer time trip before the supposed rainy season started.

Of course, even if it did I could make it so that we could enjoy the beach anyway, but it was good to take things as they were.

Plus, a beachside trip was a great way for everyone to relax, unwind, and get to know each other properly.

Especially after I supplied the food and refreshments.

Glancing around, I saw that Stella and Norn were playing with that Miko girl and building sandcastles. Stella's spirit friends were nearby too, with Fai helping with the sandcastle building while Wata and Wyn were doing some sunbathing beneath the shade of a parasol.

Eos, Ena, and my Aunt Therese were chatting together, sipping on some glasses of coconut juice I served them. From the bits of conversation I could catch, it seemed like my daughters were trying to learn more about Mom while Aunt Therese was happy to oblige with embarrassing childhood stories.

Out in the water, Dad, Roland, and 'Pierre' were having a bit of a competition trying to surf on the waves.

I'd given them all surfboards, but as expected, they'd chosen alternative means to surf.

By that I meant they were trying to surf on their on powers.

Dad was taking the term 'wavedashing' literally. Pierre was showing off by riding on a freaking sword like some Chinese martial artist using a flying sword. And Roland was doing the same as Pierre, except he was using a giant sword that looked like Cl*ud's bust*r sword.

Where did he even get that, anyway?

...Either way, they were having fun, so I decided not to question it.

Although it made me wonder exactly just how much sway Rostelina had over Pierre if a simple chat from her telling him to unwind led him to doing that.

And speaking of Rostelina, she was chatting with Sylphy off to the side, doing some Grandma-granddaughter bonding time. Probably also talking about babies considering how Rostelina was patting her belly and Sylphy seemed to be paying extra close attention.

Which left me cooking some food with a grill, along with Eri.

Unlike everyone else who was wearing a bathing suit, she was dressed modestly with a white sundress and flipflops.

Well, I was wearing a loose white t-shirt, shorts, and flipflops, so I couldn't fault her too much for dressing conservatively.

I flipped a steak and then glanced back at her. "Do you really want to just stnad there, Eri?"

"Hm?" Eri glanced at me and then laughed. "What? Do you wanna get rid of me that badly, Rudy?"

"Of course not." I pressed the steak down with a pair of tongs and then said, "I just don't get what's fun about standing beside me and watching me cook."

Eri hummed and said, "Well, maybe I just wanna be here."

"Maybe, huh?"

I stood there for a while and then glanced at Eri.

She was different from how I remembered her when she was younger. She was also different from how Rudeus said she should be.

A harsh and beautiful woman with giant breasts but a severe tsundere personality that was prone to lashing out at random times...

Eri was still beautiful. And while she didn't have 'giant breasts' since she wasn't completely grown up yet, they were definitely above average. Her personality though...

Was it the whole 'different people bring out different parts of someone?' Or maybe it was the circumstances?

Either way, Eri still acted like a tsundere at times... mostly in bed. But she didn't lash out. Instead, she was cute, got flustered easily, and for the most part acted mature. Like a normal person instead of the bipolar and socially inept woman that Rudeus had described.

"W-What?" Eri shifted and said, "Do I have something on my face?" She wiped her mouth and said, "I didn't leave any sauce on it, did I?"

I chuckled and said, "No. I was just admiring how pretty you are."

Eri blushed and then clicked her tongue. "You should be careful. Sylphy will get jealous."

I nodded. "I know. So I'll just have to make sure she understands just how much I love her later."

Eri rolled her eyes and said, "You're insufferable, Rudy."

"Your words don't line up with your feelings there, Eri." I checked the steak and then glanced at her. "If I was really insufferable, a competent and mature young woman like you would leave. You have the pick of the cream of the crop, you know?"

It wasn't empty praise.

Eri was beautiful, confident, and had a good head on her shoulders. While she still couldn't do advanced math or anything like that, she could at least pass as a functioning member of society. Reading, writing, basic arithmetic, money sense... common sense, too. At least, more than me or Sylphy had.

Kind of funny considering her background, but Eri was a reliable check for 'normal' in my family.

Which reminded me that I needed to have a chat with Master Roxy about not teaching me common sense and all at some point.

But the point was that Eri could pick literally anyone else. Still, she chose to stick around a guy like me.

And the reason for that...

"As if." A faint blush appeared on her face and she said, "After all you've done to me, how could I even look at anyone else? Bastard."

I laughed and said, "You were asking for it. Ever since we first met, haven't you been calling me 'yours'?" I gave her a teasing smile and said, "That's what made Sylphy fight you in the first place, isn't it?"

"S-Shut up." Eri's blush deepened, turning her entire face red and she said, "I didn't even really know what it meant back then, okay?"

"Even so, you sure were greedy, huh? Trying to snatch up my naive and childish self for your own... And I thought I was shameless."

Eri huffed and said, "You are. Talking about marrying Miss Roxy when you already have me and Sylphy... Aren't you the greedy one?"

I placed the finished steak off to the side and said, "I'm just taking proper responsibility. It can't be helped that I'm such a genius that I stole all of your hearts, can it?"

Eri snorted and said, "I liked you better when you were dense."

"Well I like me better like this. After all." I reached out to place a hand on Eri's face and said, "It lets me see that cute and flustered smile of yours more often."

"Wha-?" Eri froze, her face slowly turning as red as her hair.

I laughed and then held out the plate for her along with a knife and fork. "Here. Try this and let me know what you think."

"...You're a bully." Eri mumbled and took the plate from me.

I conjured a chair and table for her to eat at and said, "Only because you're adorable."

"Hmph." Eri sat down and started eating. "...I'm telling Sylphy."

"...Do you want to be bullied more by her too?"

Eri paused and then huffed and said, "I hate you."

"And I love you. Now, on a scale of 1 to 10, how is it?"

"...It's alright. Maybe eight?"

"Good enough."

Okay. Now that I had that steak memorized, I just had to copy it a few times by transfiguring mana into the same structure. Maybe throw some pizza there for the kids. A bit of cake, some soda... other beach foods...

As Eri ate her steak, a pile of food started appearing on the table next to her. Pizza boxes, ice cream cake, a platter of identical steaks...

Eri paused in the middle of cutting another piece of her steak, looking at me.

"What?"

"...I'm never going to get used to how ridiculous you are, dear husband of mine."

"And please don't, my cute wifey. Someone in this family needs to have common sense and you're the only one with it right now. Especially since Stella is slowly losing hers."

I glanced back to my baby sister to see her casually turn her sand castle into a glittering glass one with a burst of flames spilling out of her hands.

Eri followed my gaze and sighed. "I'll do my best."

"That's all I ask. Well, that, and to not leave my side."

"...I was wondering why Sylphy was so clingy. It's because of you, isn't it?"

"Hm?"

"...Whatever." Eri grabbed one of the soda cans and said, "How do I open this?"

"You just pull the tab and crack it open... Actually, let me demonstrate. I don't want you to ruin your-"

"I got it, Rudy. I'm not stupid, you- Bwah!?"

A spray of orange soda, staining Eri's white sundress.

I stared at her.

She stared back and then averted her eyes. "...J-Just help me clean up already, Rudy."

I laughed and then did as she asked.